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Future Man (2017)
Good show if it's gonna be 1 season only.
First of all, if it wasn't for Derek Wilson, aka "Wolf" the show would be boring as hell. I mean just imagine for a second that there wasn't a "Wolf" in this show. Right? The show is predictable and full with "BTTF" references. The main character is like he got the job just cuz he resembles Michael J. Fox. And the Tiger character? As if the show needed a hot chick with purple hair and nothing more.
Look. Overall the show is great. But only if you think of it as a "one night stand." It's really good for binge watching. I hope they won't ruin this show by forcing us with a few more pointless seasons just to milk some more money. Just please don't ruin it. This was fun. Let's leave it that way.
I am already impressed that this comes from Seth Rogen. It's as if he is at its prime of his producer career like once he was at his acting prime with Freaks and Geeks.
Ozark (2017)
Oh by the way I am a serial killer. But that's between me and you OK?
-Characters in this show expose their most deep secrets like it's nothing:
"Nice to meet you I'm a drug dealer"
"kids, yo mommy and I will come home late tonight we gonna launder some money for a drug dealer."
-Red neck daughter conspires to murder someone casually while visiting her daddy in prison. No cameras? no guards? Or was it a library and not a prison?
-gay redneck, gay redneck's understanding and supporting dumb brother, gay redneck's two sons reading literature.
-gay fbi agent, gay black fbi agent. fbi agent getting drunk, shooting a TV publicly in a bar while in undercover duty.
gay redneck and gay fbi agent going into a fist fight right before kissing. Wooooo how passionate!
-people getting killed but local authorities are portrayed yet again as incompetent, slacking, clueless people who decide that each and every death was an accident. Typical.
Oh boy this show has so so so so many stupid unrelated s**t going on that I must have forgotten to mention most of them here. Super unrealistic yet predictable events. Dumb story and dumb characters.
Seems like they tried to copycat Breaking Bad but the only common thing about Ozark and Breaking Bad is the word "Bad" in Breaking Bad and "Bad" acting and "Bad" story in Ozark. No one will want a second season.
GLOW (2017)
Back to the Future, Old Boy and deep dark humor. I liked it.
I usually dislike Netflix shows. Especially those with super heroes. But I gotta admit. This was a pretty good one.
When it comes to reviewing good shows or movies it's just too hard for me because there are too many aspects that I liked about the show. So I never know where to begin with. But here are the things I enjoyed about this one:
1) The time setting. I always enjoy 80's and this show gave me that sense of 80's pretty well.
2) Acting was really good too. Especially with the character Ruth. This show involved a lot of acting within acting within acting. I mean it's a hard one. As an actor Alison Brie, you are the character Ruth of the show GLOW portraying a mediocre actor trying to find a good job for yourself. Once you find a fake wrestling show to take part in then that involves another level of acting which she "learns" by training within the show. Geez it's really hard to explain but I can summarize it by calling it something cheesy like actingception (derived from the movie inception just in case...) It's not just with Alison Brie but all the other wrestler women too.
3) The humor from time to time was predictable but it was still enjoyable and was a little dark, which I enjoy a lot. I believe there was even an OldBoy reference when one of the wrestlers happens to be the daughter of the director and then his daughter tells him what is what when the director tries to make out with his own daughter unkowingly. That moment was so odd and uncomfortable I was both smiling and at the same time embarrassed. Again hard to explain.
This show could get a 10 from me if the wresting moves were just a tiny bit more realistic. Of course they were doing it cheesy on purpose but the level of cheesiness could be reduced just a little bit more to make it seem like these women worked really hard and they started as desperate actors being clueless about wrestling but in the end they put out something that's the result of hard work. I guess I was expecting a much better development in terms of wrestling. They could even use rope tricks green screen CGI I wouldn't care really.
For instance the part in the show where Ruth and Machu Pichu were demonstrating their moves for the first time. They were so amazing. I was like wow these are going to turn into real wrestlers by the end of the show. But as the show proceeded it actually turned into camera techniques to hide actors' incompetence at wrestling.
I don't criticize the show because of my own expectations. I criticize because I fear that some people might find wrestling scenes too cheesy and it might turn them off. Wheras people like me would be okay thinking all that wrestling to be really good on a symbolic level.
Anyways I talked too much. You should really give this show a try.
House of Cards (2013)
Good acting, stupid writing
I'm gonna keep it really short.
Two things made me quit this show.
1) Frank Underwood pushing secretary Durant off the stairs.
2) Claire Underwood having Tom Yates killed.
This is the epitome of stupid writing. Period.
13 Reasons Why (2017)
You call these reasons to suicide? Try being a Chinese worker 5 cents per hour
This show is basically about a girl that doesn't know how to put up a fight facing the slightest challenges of an average teenager that usually gets over them. But not our pretty Hannah banana.
It started interestingly. I mean I was interested because I wanted to see some serious reasons to why... But as I watched I just made up my mind about this show when Hannah decided to hide, doing nothing, next to the bed while her old friend is getting raped. Now What the hell was that? She was hiding as if some strangers broke into her house. I would get that behavior if that was the case right? I mean a burglar can try to kill you or some random serial killer might the guy be so you hide quietly doing nothing. But you see people that you already know 1 of them taking advantage of the other then you start screaming, yelling, biting or nailing anything but stay quiet doing nothing. But our princess Hannah needed some reasons to commit suicide right?
Then there comes the other rape scene in the bath tub or pool whatever. Man you gotta have like two digit IQ not to defend yourself in such situation. I mean defence doesn't have to be physical. I know some dimwits will defend that scene saying "oh well he was too strong" and b.s like that but come on you are in a party where there are people all around max 100 meters away. Can't you scream? Can't you try at least something? Not our princess Hannah I guess.
All that vigilante style punishment ending with Bryce getting shot in the head in the end or Clay - Tony weird relationship was too dumb. Just to add some more drama just to be able to divide the show into 12 episodes they needed a character like Tony who's job was to keep our pussy Clay listening to the tapes and talking all sorts of mysterious bull crap.
Too much gay glorification, unrealistic character choices. Come on that Jessica character supposedly is portrayed as the more beautiful girl compared to Hannah but please...
Overall:
The acting and presentation was good but story? Such a terrible story. So because story is very important to me I hate to give this show only 5 stars. Watchable but do not seek any logic in the events.
Iron Fist (2017)
A cliché show for Low IQ mouth breathers
So we start with a character who comes from the dead/missing after 15 years but it takes so damn long to convince his childhood-best- friends (Joy and Ward) that he is actually Danny. So so so long that Joy and Ward trick and put him into a mental institute because Danny didn't say anything but "we need to talk" like thousand times stating no reasons at all or couldn't think of any specific childhood memories to tell them doing some sort of combo if required. You don't believe me now oh what about this still don't believe? so what about that you see? ask me any questions and I will prove you that I'm Danny."
No sir then there would be no drama right? He must recklessly drive his friends car towards the parking lot's wall or sound all sorts of crazy. "Look I'm Danny and I have superpowers and we need to talk!" Oh boy right from the start you hate this "main character". A superhero that is also super retarded and slow brained.
Danny's friends are stupid too. And their father. And Danny's mother was so damn stupid as well I mean that was natural selection at its finest. You see a flashback to the plane crash where Danny's mother is not in her seat with a seat belt on and goes next to Danny, ignoring the possibility of a plane crash survival, then plane's roof tears open and due to air pressure changes his mom is sucked out of the plane resulting in a certain death.
There are so many stupid clichés in this show that I cannot put my thoughts in order. As I write I remember some other idiotic stuff that I saw and it keeps going non-stop. Anyways. So there is this beautiful martial arts chick called colleen who you would predict every scene/line of her. You have this rich superhero who is also blonde and handsome needs a lover in the show right? So original! How we didn't see it coming!
Oh I remembered another stupid scene where Danny was still trying to convince Joy that he is in fact Danny the scene where he gets mad and leaves and jumps over a taxi?? What the hell was that? I tell you what that was. Producers wanted a hot chick watching a superhero doing his super cool moves so the mouth breather audience will say "yeah baby show that milf how cool tricks you got I don't even care how ridiculous the scene is just show off your super powers baby I wanna see that WOW look on that milf that's right yeah baby oh yeah now I'm gonna go to bed and jerk off imagining my demonstration of cool super powers to hot girls yeah oh yeah"
You see what I'm saying? You see what the hell I'm complaining about? It's full of stupid same old clichés enough of this marvel universe crap already. The marvel comics itself is full of clichés so stop producing stupid shows for every single superhero out there. I know there is a demand from these mouth breather stupid people rating this crap 10 stars but where is your dignity I ask producers? Are you that money hungry that you don't get sick of producing these nonsense? It's simply horrible.
The Room (2003)
Tommy Wiseau is my new Idol.
Let me get one thing straight. If you think you gonna read some sarcastic trash talk that makes fun of this movie you are wrong. Now that there is no room for any confusion here I go with my review.
There are 2 crucial scenes that I cannot forget about this movie. Firstly: The scene where Johnny tells Mark " I think you should leave right now mark" after mark tells johnny "Lisa changed her mind about you wake up man what plan are you on?"
Secondly: The scene where johnny kills himself and lies on the ground while mark Lisa and Denny still have some lines to say before the movie ends.
In both scenes Tommy Wiseau's face and acting were so convincing that it just put me through a roller coaster of emotions. I mean I was just having fun, making fun of the scenes prior to these every thing was so funny the lines were so original and out of this world and at the same time hilarious the acting was theatrical, exaggerated and therefore can be considered bad for a movie... It didn't make any sense it was like watching an absurd comedy.
But here is the important part for me. After these two scenes that I mentioned I wasn't laughing anymore. I was at such a state that I didn't give a single flying fudge about how nonsense the previous scenes about the movie were how I was making fun of the characters, the lines, the atmosphere, the conversations... none of these mattered at that point. I really felt sorry for what johnny was going through.
Anyways in the end this original movie indeed changed my life. I wish I had watched it 14 years ago then by now I would be a much better man I'm sure of it. I always wanted to enjoy the life at its maximum limits. Think of a situation that you jumped from an airplane unwillingly without a parachute. What will you do at that point? will you cry knowing that inevitable death awaits you in a few seconds? (by the way according to a myth I heard in such situation you will die of a heart attack mid air because of the intense fear of death) or do you have the capacity to enjoy the feeling of the free fall despite the fact that you know you are going to die after you hit the ground so hard that your internal organs will scatter inside you? I dare you to think of this. Now I believe Tommy Wiseau is such a man, such a genius that would do the latter in this situation. This is what he did with his masterpiece The Room. He enjoyed the free fall.
The Magicians (2015)
Watching it just for Olivia Dudley's big tits and nerd outfit
The title clearly shows why I'm watching the show. If it wasn't for Olivia Taylor Dudley, and her big jiggly boobs I would rate this show even below 5 stars.
There is nothing special about this show. It's just harry potter meets vampire diaries, magic thrown into the story with a bunch of sexy gals and handsome guys who have nothing to worry about their lives and try to solve seemingly terrible problems they face throughout the story.
The Night Of (2016)
case is already solved from the start
Naz wakes up downstairs and he has no blood on his clothes. He goes upstairs and wears his black shirt again no blood on his shirt either. When you see the dead body there is blood all over the freaking place. On the light on the sheets everywhere it's pure gore. So I ask you this are these cops or lawyers too stupid to see this? Or even he himself can't think of this so he can defend himself? He could ask the police if you think I did it then where is the blood on my clothes? Sure they had some foreplay involving masochism but the amount of blood that can be found on Naz is not proportional anyway. Cops should be searching for other tools to point Naz as a murder suspect such as stretch films, gloves or any kind of protective clothes to be able to commit such a brutal murder yet splash not a single drop of blood on his clothes. Case dismissed from start.
I don't even want to mention that writers are in conflict while portraying Naz as a clever hardworking kid yet he is so stupid to flee the scene even if he believed himself that he didn't commit the crime from the start. He could call the police and explain everything from scratch so easily. But nooooooooo that would be inconvenient for the writers right? For a kid supposedly believing his innocence he was completely silent entire episode 1 that was such a torture to watch too. When will writers start using their brains to come up with good stories I really wonder.
Stranger Things (2016)
been there, seen that
- a kid with telepathy and telekinesis powers has a bleeding nose every time after she uses her power. check
- a science teacher / scientist explains how to bend space and time using a paper and a pen and pushing the pen through the paper. check
- parallel universes. check
- dolphin like sounds making alien monsters. check
- guy tries to shoot cans with a gun but fails then an unexpected woman with amazing marksman skills comes and shoots the targets. so cool! check.
And everything else is so cliché about this show. And IMDb you are a huge liar because of your fake ratings.
This pile of nonsense doesn't deserve anything more than a 6. But then again who would watch it if you had shown such a rating next to it right? You are in this for the money after all. This was the last time I use IMDb to decide whether something is worth watching or not.