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pricedominic
Reviews
New York, I Love You (2008)
New York, I Hate You
There really is so many things wrong with this film i don't even know where to start. Lets deal with the main problem, the plot. 10 short stories, 10 'romantic tales' set around the city of New York City portrayed by young, bright talented actors. Problem being that not only has every single actor seem to be given a role that doesn't really suit them (Orlando Bloom is a loner and a struggling writer, Hayden Christiansen as a Con Man.... Really???), their stories are so short and inconsequential that you really don't care about any of them.
If you have seen films like Valentines Day, New Years Eve, and the classic that is Love Actually, then you know exactly what this film needs to make it successful. It needs a central role. It needs a person or two people that you care what happens to them, i.e Hugh Grant and Martine in Love Actually, or Ashton and Jennifer in Valentines Day. This film doesn't have that at all. Not only does it not have that, it doesn't even really have any characters that are remotely likable.
This film bombed in the first few weeks of its release, and it really deserved to. The writers/directors seemed to be so obsessed with getting all these stories in and fitting them into New York somehow, they forgot to include character and story progression, two of the most important factors when creating a film.
In my 24 years (very soon to be 25) here on this earth there have only ever been 3 films that i have watched and hated the fact that i had just wasted my life watching them. Donnie Darko, Machete, and now this load of rubbish.
Please do not watch this. If you want to watch a film like this, then please watch the 3 i have mentioned above, or 'He's just not that into you' which is another very decent film. How this has managed to get an average of 6.4 i have no idea. Maybe just the people who love Bradley Cooper voting highly because he is in it? can't see any other reason at all to be honest. Absolutely Terrible.
10 Rillington Place (1971)
'just a whiff of gas'
I have to admit, i usually stay away from a lot of 'older' films. They tend to be very slow paced, very badly dated, and a lot of the time very poorly acted.
This film thankfully is one the exceptions to the rule. Richard Attenborough (who most people my age will probably only recognise as the old bloke from Jurassic Park) puts in an exceptional performance in the true life story of John Reginal Christie and the murders at 10 Rillington Place. From what i have read of Christie, Attenborough acts him out perfectly as the quiet, unassuming and nonthreatening landlord, whilst at the same time managing to hold a creepy undertone throughout.
A young couple Timothy and Beryl Evans (played by John Hurt and Judy Gleeson) choose to stay at rundown 10 Rillington Place as Tim's big dreams of becoming a somebody have not yet come into fruition (quite possibly because he is a very slow and very stupid dreamer that will never amount to anything.) Tim knows he has done well in managing to persuade Beryl to not only live with him, but to also have his first child. Unfortunately for both of them, they do not realise they have just moved into the dungeon of serial killer John Christie, who immediately takes a liking to beautiful Beryl.
John Hurt also plays his part superbly. Having only seen his more recent work in titles such as Harry Potter and Hellboy 2, it was nice to see him in his younger days, when he was earning his way to becoming the great actor he is today. He plays the very simple Tim in this film, and you really do feel for him by the end of the story.
Overall, if you are like me and try to avoid the old black and white films, then break that rule for this one. I have seen many recent 'great' horror films, and not many of them manage to keep the dark suspense and hostile atmosphere that this one manages throughout. And with John Hurt and Richard Attenborough putting in wonderful performances, you really cant go wrong with this one.
One more thing to add that i am starting to notice the more and more older films i watch, the women were much more attractive than they are nowadays. Judy Geeson as Beryl is absolutely gorgeous, and on top of that is a very talented actress. If only there were more like her in our current times.
Excellent film, and i would definitely recommend it. Especially for those of you who have read about Christie or for those of you who hold an interest in any serial killers.
'Just a whiff of gas, like at the dentists' Thank you for reading :)
No Strings Attached (2011)
the slightly more classier version of Friends with Benefits
I love Natalie Portman. I love Natalie Portman. I love Natalie Portman. Ever since Closer (for quite obvious reasons) she has had my attention, but she is one of these actors that captivate anyones attention, without ever having to say a word. She truly is one of the most beautiful women on the planet.
Now let me stop obsessing over her, and talk about the film No Strings Attached. Adam (played by Ashton Kutcher) has just suffered the humiliation of finding out that his ex girlfriend has dumped him for his own father, and ends up contacting every girl in his phonebook until one of them agrees to have sex with him. This leads him back to an old school friend Emma (Natalie Portman). Although too drunk to go through with his intention in the evening, the morning after he and Emma decide to get it on as there is an instant connection. As Emma is a resident at a nearby hospital so therefore has no time for any kind of relationship, and has a history of not being able to let people get close to her, she decides that a friends with benefits situation is best for her. Adam obviously agrees to this (ermmmm who wouldn't?) and the story leads from there.
Obviously if you have watched any Rom-Com in the last 20 years you will know exactly what happens at the end of this film, but i have to say this film definitely has a freshness to it. The supporting cast (including Kevin Kline, Jake M Johnson (New Girl), and the very funny Lake Bell) help to boost the Com part of Rom-Com, which i always feel helps when the Rom part doesn't have anything majorly unique included in the storyline.
All in all, a very decent Rom-Com acted by two very attractive actors (yes, even though i am a man, i am confident in myself enough to admit that Ashton Kutcher is annoyingly attractive) If it was a choice between this or Friends with Benefits, i would watch both even though they are pretty much the exact same film. Then again, if you take away the characters and look at the story lines of most Rom-Coms, aren't they all the same story???
Thank you for reading :)
P.S I love Natalie Portman.
The Butterfly Effect (2004)
Interesting and original
A conveluted and quite complex plot, written brilliantly and acted very well indeed by Ashton and his co workers. I state 'Ashton and his co workers', because this really is Ashton Kutcher at his best. The support cast are credible, but at a time when Kutcher was trying to break away from his fun but forgettable roles such as Dude Wheres my Car, and his stint on Punked, this film couldn't have been any better. This is definitely a film you need to concentrate on for every minute, as one moment of the story you miss, may lose you in the following events that occur. I have seen many films that use time travel as a plot line, and i have seen many fail because of it. But this film gets it bang on, and by the end you are really anticipating how Evan will sort the whole mess out to make everyone happy, because if you shred away the many layers of this film all he is trying to do is exactly that, bring happiness to people who only know despair. i would love to see Ashton Kutcher in similar roles to this, as i feel his career has begun to tail off into mondane and mediochre rom-coms. A truly great film, very underrated and very understated.
On another note, DO NOT WATCH THE SECOND ONE. It is the biggest smack in the face to any film franchise, completely loses the whole ideology of this film, and becomes a poorly acted farce.
P.S Very clever use of character name Evan Treborn. Say it as one word and you will understand why :)
Big Fish (2003)
Escapism Personified
This truly great tale follows the life of a young Edward Bloom (played by Ewan Mcgregor) growing up in the very small town of Spectre. His adventures are brought to us from a much older Edward(played by the excellent Albert Finney) as he regails his stories to his now grown up son Will Bloom, and his wife played by Marion Cotillard. As you can imagine from any Tim Burton film, the bulk of the story is set in an imaginary world filled with interestingly brilliant characters. But the centre of the story is Edward Blooms son trying to connect with his father, trying to determine fact between fiction. This film is definitely one of my all time favourites. It is a film that should be on everyones 'films to watch before you die' list. I feel with some Tim Burton films, he gets lost in trying to create these amazingly detailed worlds of his, but this film he really finds the perfect balance between the story and the setting. I would recommend that everyone watch this film, even if you are not a big fan of the actors in it, or the director himself. A perfect film to forget about your troubles, and get lost in Burton's vision of the world. I would also suggest that anyone who watches it, then listens to the song 'How i go' by the band yellowcard. Perfect song, for a near perfect film.
Blue Valentine (2010)
Real Love?
Stories about love don't usually appeal to me. Woman tries to get dream guy, gets helped along the way by another guy, she ends up falling for him blah blah blah... or man plays about, doesn't respect women, has a woman who is a friend, realises the error of his ways and falls for her blah blah blah. At the end there is always a fall out between the two, and then one goes chasing after the other, and it all ends brilliantly. So when my friend at work lent me this DVD, i was pessimistic.
This film is unlike the Hollywood romance stories i have described to you in everyway. It shows exactly what love can be. It can be harsh, it can be brutal, it can feel like your heart has been punched several times over. This film portrays that perfectly, flitting from the happier moments at the start of the two main characters relationship, to the dark side of love where one or both of you know it isn't going to have a happy ending.
Michelle Williams plays her part brilliantly, but i was really surprised by the excellent performance of Ryan Gosling. Having not seen him in many films previously, it was a nice surprise to see the talent he has as an actor, as the character he portrays in the film completely changes from start to end.
If you are looking for a film with hearts and fluffy teddy bears, go watch Valentine's Day. If you want to see a great story played out by two very talented actors, then watch this film. You will not regret it.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)
The best so far? Well, thats not hard!
I am a person who will go into any film with an open mind, wide eyed and eager in anticipation. When most blokes here about Twilight films, they automatically have the typical bloke response 'I'm not watching that rubbish, too girlie for me.' When i heard about the original Twilight film, i ignored the sceptics, and also ignored the crazy obsessed people who love every movement of R-Patz or Taylor, and i judged it as just another film.
The first film was pretty decent. Not a lot happened, but the characters were intriguing, and although Kirsten Stewart was insanely annoying as Bella, it was a watchable film. The series in my opinion has kind of tailed off ever since, with not enough description of what is going on, and not enough action to make it a film worthy of my very demanding viewing time. But, i have persevered, and when someone asked me if i wanted to go see Breaking Dawn part 1, i was interested to see how it ended, or at least how it began to end.
I have not read any of the books, i am not a big reader. I am all about the cinematic medium. Like most films that have been copied from books, the story usually does not fit in to a 90-120 minute time frame that it needs to do be a successful film. There are parts in the 2nd and 3rd film, as with this one, where peoples actions aren't really explained to you fully. You only realise it after someone who has read the books tells you the missing parts of the story. But back to this film, i thought it was a step up from the previous two. Although quite jumpy in places, leaping from one plot point to the next far too quickly, i think it had more of a kick to it than others. The scene where she collapses, and the pregnancy scenes are quite gruesome, and stick in the mind vividly. The make up team did a terrific job making her look ill, to the point where it was actually quite disgusting to even look at her (maybe that was just her though, and the make up team didn't do anything! - a joke for all those K-Stew hating girls filled with jealousy.) K-Stew has also found her acting talent in this film.... playing dead. I have never been so convinced that someone is dead, terrific performance of being dead.
All jokes aside, if you have seen any of the twilight films or read the books (as everyone in the world seems to have done) then you know what to expect. Lots of tension, moody looks, Vampire and Werewolf fun, and Jacob taking his top off. I am quite surprised at the low rating that this film is receiving here on IMDb, as this film has all the same elements it always has had. In my opinion, some of the scenes are much more memorable, and the acting seems to be getting better with each film that goes by. Maybe Twilight fans are finally starting to realise that it always was a pretty average film, and are expecting too much from its sequels. Either way, i would recommend watching this film, whether you are male or female, or whether you are vampire or werewolf!
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
My Sweet 3 Dog
For you to be reading this review, you must either have a slight interest in this film, or you enjoy the idea of humans in centipede form. Both of which would raise serious questions in my head about your own personal mental health. Simultaneously, for me to be writing this review proves that i must have watched it as well, therefore having similar thoughts originally.
Now having glanced at a few of the other reviews on here, i can see that a lot of them are saying 'So Gross i wanted to be sick,' 'Worst film ever' 'The director must be insane' and so on. I disagree with these comments 100%. Firstly, the director is not sick, he is actually quite clever in a way. He obviously realised that he was never going to be a great director, he was never going to get the chance to direct a masterpiece. But he yearned for the fame, he longed for the notoriety. And that is exactly what he achieved through this film. When most people mention The Human Centipede, they always include a line similar to 'the Director/Writer must be crazy', or they would have researched his name and quote you it (Tom Six in case you didn't know). This is exactly what he set out to achieve. Now that the praise is over with, let me deal with the actual film.
This film is one of the worst films i have ever seen, and not because of the fact that there is a Human Centipede crawling around for most of it. Mainly, it is due to the terrible, terrible acting from all involved. The opening sequence of the two girls getting ready to go out, then travelling and getting stuck in the woods, then leaving their car in the middle of nowhere so they can aimlessly walk around in the rain has to be one of the most pointless badly acted scenes ever. Obviously, if actresses have agreed to star in a film where they are attached to someone's anus via the mouth for the majority of the film, then you aren't expecting terrific performances. But it is still a film nevertheless, and therefore some kind of acting talent is expected, which this film is completely lacking. The two bumbling policemen are a particular low-light of the film. Not only are they both horrifically bad at acting, they also decide to go in for a quick drink with a murderer, and then both get killed very very easily without much struggle at all.
Secondly, if you are intending to watch this film to be grossed out, you will be disappointed. I have seen more gore in an episode of Coronation Street than in this film. Once you get past the premise of the film, then there really isn't much at all. You don't see any surgery, they are connected together in a gross way, but nothing is shown other than lots of tape and bandages.
The reason why this film has gained so much interest, and therefore quite a bit of money for Tom Six, is because of the ridiculous nature of the plot. I ended up watching it because people challenged me too watch it, and thats how it has spread across the country, like a debilitating disease that has scarred the film industry. I put forward a challenge to you readers...Don't watch this film. Instead, do something useful with that extra time you will have gained. Tom Six is quite clearly lacking in talent and imagination, so lets not give him the credit of watching his pathetic excuse of a film. Once you have read this, DO NOT watch the film and DO NOT tell anyone about it.
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
Geek Heaven
Hello everybody who likes to read excellent reviews! well done to you. From the opening credits to the end scene, this film is one of my all time favourite comedies. It is some of Edgar Wright's finest work, it is almost certainly some of Micheal Cera's finest moments, and it really is a change of style to the gross out comedies that seem to have inflicted cinema and TV screens over the past few years. I am not going to bore you with going through the plot, as nobody reads reviews for that, they read them to canvas the viewing audience's opinion. Instead i will merely say this to you.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE ONE OF THE BEST FILMS OF ALL TIME, WATCH THIS.
Wow that was a bit much. Anyway, if you are still reading this and haven't been scared off by the angry text i previously displayed, then let me talk you through why you should see this, or more to the point, why I saw this.
I missed this whilst it was at the cinema, and wasn't to keen from the reviews i had heard from it. I expected it to be another let down like most comics that have been converted into films (apart from Sin City, love that film.) A few weeks after it had been showing on Sky, my girlfriend at the time said that we should watch this film. As we had just began to start dating, everything was fresh and exciting, and as we could barely keep our hands off each other, this film blended into the background at first. But as i moved my now ex girlfriend aside to focus fully on the film (ohhh maybe thats why i am now single?) i wish i hadn't of wasted all that time at the beginning by heavy petting (yep, definitely why i am now single!)
This film is hilarious, in every way a film can be. Excellent fast pacing, with some truly great performances along the way. Micheal Cera is at his best, but also the one liners from Alison Pill (who plays drummer of Sex Bob-omb Kim) are pure comedy gold. Also, the performance of Scott's roommate Wallace (played by Keiran Culkin) is one to watch out for.
This film should be watched by everyone on the planet, a pure work of art from everyone involved!
The Big Year (2011)
Bird is the Word
I was flicking through the cinema listings on a cold winters day, wondering what film to take my '2nd date' girl to go see. Me being the unorganised mess that i am, i was doing this only a few minutes before we were about to meet. As i quickly glazed over the options of Happy Feet 2 and Arthur Christmas (as although these films may be cinematic gems, i don't think they would help to guarantee a 3rd date) i stumbled upon The Big Year. As i was now about to be late, i quickly glanced down at the cast, as previously this has helped in deciding whether it would be classic or a rotten tomato. A comedy with Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson? This will be hilarious, and she will think i am hilarious thanks to my excellent film choice, its a date! 1 minute into the film, i realised i may have made a horrible mistake. Bird Watching? (or Birding, if you are sad enough to call it that) I should have realised my mistake before the film had even began, as the screening was filled with 5 people (two of them being bird fanatics, that bloke in the corner who goes to showings because he is so lonely and its something to do.... and us) This film is adapted from the original story of 'The Big Year: A Tale of Man, Nature and Fowl Obsession' written by Mark Obmascik, and like so many films that have been created from best selling novels, it didn't really make for an entertaining film. If you have an obsession with Birds (as the two birdwatchers sitting near us who were constantly talking about the amazing birds they were seeing on screen) then you will like this film. But if you are like those two, i would suggest watching something narrated by an Attenborough.
Plus points. Some of the wide shots of scenery are quite breath taking, the comedic acting of Jack Black and Steve Martin, make a terrible idea for a film bearable to watch. And if you are a birdwatcher (if there are any left in the world) then i definitely recommend it.
Negatives. Some of the long winded bird facts and descriptive scenes will take your breath away (and by that, i mean your breath will be taken away from all the sighing of boredom.) The story is too weak for a feature length film, the ending leaves you feeling empty more than anything, and it is immediately forgettable (which is why i have chosen to write this review the morning after the viewing.) All in all, i would suggest waiting till it comes out on DVD, and then waiting a bit longer until it appears on Sky before you watch this film. In lighter news, it got me a third date! I would like to think that is more due to my witty charm than anything to do with this film though!