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Reviews
The New Mutants (2020)
Pukalicious enough, just vibing
I kinda liked The New Mutants. It's kind of like when you're drunk, you burp and puke a little in your mouth but you gulp it down again so it's alright.
Main character is trash, ignore. She's void of charisma. Same as some Roberto guy who is boring, don't give him further thought neither. Insane Russian girl with plushy and adorable baby dragon stands out. It gets a little Hellraisery with the smiley men, definitely the highlight of the film. The hick accent of the Stranger Things actor builds really cosy atmosphere. He's way better in this than that dumb show.
It gets a little wokey at times with lesbianism, just try to drunkenly gulp it down and enjoy the buzz once those Hellraiser characters show up, it might just be worth it.
If you are a broad consumer of film you might not regret sitting through it. If you've definitely got better things to do than to watch random ass moving pictures on a screen, then you know not to watch it anyways.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
I would like to give it less than 1.
But if I give it 1, you better believe that's not a star. It's a turd emoji.
It's the worst and most evil show I've ever seen. And I am proud and glad to state that it's world history's biggest TV flop and the most hated TV-show of all time by those who did see it. Most people however did not bother.
The writing was oftentimes so stupid I was roaring with laughter with my friend as we both made accurate predictions in every episode. Only picking it apart, pausing and showing what they stole material from, and drinking booze and laughing at it made it overall an enjoyable experience to watch with my friend. So it has been as fun as hunting demons I suppose. This show should best be deleted from existence!
Mosquito (1994)
"Haven't held one of these babies in 20 years!"
Jippie, the first movie I comment!
Anyways, this was one baaaaaad bad movie, in fact it was so hilariously bad it just cracked me up and I thought it was good! Okay the beginning is pretty slow. This had some poor acting too but what can you expect? I actually rented this movie because it stood in the news section, it had just been released on DVD, don't know what the crap it was doing in the news section. The first 30 minutes I regretted renting it but after a while it became very entertaining to watch in all of it's marvelous crappyness.
So what we got here is basically mutated mosquito's that sucked the blood of an alien that crashed into their swamp. These bastards are huge and they suck humans dry, even makes their eyes pop out! So we got this small gang of people, running, hiding, and fighting these things. A plus on this movie is that one of them is none other than good old Gunnar Hansen, better known as "Leatherface" from 1974's "Texas chainsaw massacre". He even makes a very goofy, incredibly bold reference to his old days as leatherface by grabbing a really huge chainsaw to fight mosquito's with, saying "I haven't held one of these babies in 20 years!" The mosquito's though are a bit of a gag, looks kind of plastic, though they could have been worse... I guess they are acceptable. Anytime the camera follows a mosquito if we look closely, we can see the wire it's hanging from, though this happens a lot in movies, even in some quality ones so we can't hold a grudge against this movie for that old mistake. Though when several mosquito's are seen chasing after the gang the effects are so poor, it's like 8 frames per second, tops, looks more like paper cut outs, flying across the screen, though more like lagging across the screen.
Also one thing in a scene that really astonished me. The main character couple stumbles upon a small boat that moves around. If I remember correctly you could hear mosquito buzzing from inside of it. So they lift it and it turns out to be a local park ranger instead. (WTF?)
One scene that had me cracking up was when the group hides underground and the black guy (my favorite character except for Gunnar) mentions he was in nam, to which Gunnar responds him too. Then the young guy hasn't really got anything so he just says "Yeah well I was in the boy-scouts!" To this comments everyone actually starts laughing in the movie! It's completely unsuiting, but it was actually kind of fun, one of the funniest things in this movie actually. I don't know, maybe I was exaggerating a bit, rating this a 7, but it's just because it's so damn funny to me! It's worth a look if you enjoy watching B-flicks.