What was worse, the wooden acting or the absurd dialogue You decide. It was short but not short enough.
Reviews
10 Reviews
Night Into Day
(2020)
I love movies like this, but...
11 October 2020
This movie is dreadful. The characters are all loathsome and their reactions to what happened are ridiculous. At least the filmmakers didn't spend any money on this. I was rooting for the radiation and was stunned that an hour and 18 minutes could go by so slowly. Watch Patterns, Testament or On the Beach instead.
I should have known from the title
20 April 2020
The title seemed something out of the Troma catalog, but I'm a fan of end of the world movies and liked the barren setting so I gave it a chance. Didn't even mind the complete lack of an explanation about what happened. Just a hint would have been nice. Instead I got - well I don't know what I got. It is very short though but it's still an hour and eleven minutes I would want back on my death bed.
And the bunch of rave reviews that propped the star rating over 2* have to have been from a very loyal crew and family members.
And the bunch of rave reviews that propped the star rating over 2* have to have been from a very loyal crew and family members.
Quantum Apocalypse
(2010 TV Movie)
It boggles the mind
30 December 2019
Somebody bankrolled this disaster and I watched the entire thing. That makes two knuckleheads. I had a hard time finding this here at because I watched in on Amazon Prime where it goes by the title "Judgement Day".
Where to begin? Bizarre casting and dismal performances except for the guy who does a Dustin Hoffman/Rain Man impersonation and at least seemed to be enjoying this. Dialogue that was hopefully made up by the actors as they went along because most of it is nonsense. Special effects that were apparently scraps of stock footage from other awful movies. The President has the authoritative look of a junior high substitute teacher.
I love bad movies but this is beneath belief.
Where to begin? Bizarre casting and dismal performances except for the guy who does a Dustin Hoffman/Rain Man impersonation and at least seemed to be enjoying this. Dialogue that was hopefully made up by the actors as they went along because most of it is nonsense. Special effects that were apparently scraps of stock footage from other awful movies. The President has the authoritative look of a junior high substitute teacher.
I love bad movies but this is beneath belief.
Nazi Undead
(2018)
Beneath contempt
2 December 2019
Move over Speed 2, because you've been replaced at the top of my Worst Movies Ever list. The characters are thoroughly unlikable, the acting annoying, and for a 80 minute movie it seemed to go on forever. I generally enjoy bad movies but apparently I have my limits.
Oceans Rising
(2017)
Abandon ship
28 January 2019
I love apocalyptic movies and tend to be very forgiving of those that at least seem to have tried to succeed, but this? The absurd story line isn't helped by goofy special effects and a cast of characters who are for the most part unlikable. I'm not sure that even good actors could do anything with this script. To think I could have watched 3 episodes of Gilligan's Island instead of this...
Where Eagles Dare
(1968)
Entertaining
28 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
It's a very entertaining movie that I don't think even tried to be realistic. The good guys not only win, they hardly get a scratch except for a couple of characters we hardly got to know. Seeing Richard Burton working with Clint Eastwood was an interesting mix that somehow worked.
It was beautifully filmed with many memorable shots, and the scenery alone is breathtaking. The scene where Burton riffs with endless back story and everybody gets exposed is confusing, even to the point where Clint's character tells Burton's that even he doesn't know what's what, but by this point you're just waiting for the great escape. Ignore the plot holes and especially the part where Clint runs to help an enemy who sprained his ankle minutes after blowing a platoon to bits.
If you're looking for Saving Private Ryan in terms of believable combat, look elsewhere, but Where Eagles Dare is a fun diversion for a couple of hours.
It was beautifully filmed with many memorable shots, and the scenery alone is breathtaking. The scene where Burton riffs with endless back story and everybody gets exposed is confusing, even to the point where Clint's character tells Burton's that even he doesn't know what's what, but by this point you're just waiting for the great escape. Ignore the plot holes and especially the part where Clint runs to help an enemy who sprained his ankle minutes after blowing a platoon to bits.
If you're looking for Saving Private Ryan in terms of believable combat, look elsewhere, but Where Eagles Dare is a fun diversion for a couple of hours.
Blindness
(2008)
Major disappointment
7 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I wanted to like this film and had great expectations, yet by the end of the movie I was annoyed at the entire production. Plot holes of some degree are to be expected in any movie, but the ones in Blindness were so gaping that they became major distractions.
The point is made at the start that Ward 1 would be the best to be in because they were closest to the supplies, yet despite that and despite the fact that they have the only sighted person in the building who can see the deliveries coming, they end up with nothing.
The Julianne Moore character leading the lambs to the slaughter so to speak (women exchanged for food) was absurd. Her walking up to the "dictator" with a metal pipe and smashing him in the head would have been the obvious move. He has a gun. So? And the idea that just because the "dictator" had a man who was already blind on his team, they had a great advantage, is absurd as well. I work with blind people daily. Their blindness does not give them magical powers. They have a degree of increased sensitivity with other senses, but still walk into walls and head the wrong way pretty often, so while they would have an advantage in that they had no adjustments to make when the affliction hit the world, that's about all.
In the end, I was reminded of "Children of Men", another film which had great promise but ultimately disappointed. At least that movie started out great however. "Blindness" just meandered around, and did so for a long, long time as well. "Day of the Triffids", an old sci-fi movie, gave a better take on the possibilities of such an epidemic.
The point is made at the start that Ward 1 would be the best to be in because they were closest to the supplies, yet despite that and despite the fact that they have the only sighted person in the building who can see the deliveries coming, they end up with nothing.
The Julianne Moore character leading the lambs to the slaughter so to speak (women exchanged for food) was absurd. Her walking up to the "dictator" with a metal pipe and smashing him in the head would have been the obvious move. He has a gun. So? And the idea that just because the "dictator" had a man who was already blind on his team, they had a great advantage, is absurd as well. I work with blind people daily. Their blindness does not give them magical powers. They have a degree of increased sensitivity with other senses, but still walk into walls and head the wrong way pretty often, so while they would have an advantage in that they had no adjustments to make when the affliction hit the world, that's about all.
In the end, I was reminded of "Children of Men", another film which had great promise but ultimately disappointed. At least that movie started out great however. "Blindness" just meandered around, and did so for a long, long time as well. "Day of the Triffids", an old sci-fi movie, gave a better take on the possibilities of such an epidemic.
Black Snake Moan
(2006)
Thirty years ago this would have been a drive-in classic
18 March 2007
In my youthful days of going to the drive-in to see movies, this would have been a classic. It's a cheap and fast moving sleaze-fest that entertains far more than enlightens. The turns of plot all but have flashing neon signs accompanying them, but as long as you go along for the ride it's harmless fun.
One could quibble about the fact that EVERY single Caucasian in the movie is either a scumbag, a slut or a moron, and every man and woman of color is virtuous and noble (even the drug dealing pimp who has a bit of a lighting halo over his head while he maintains that beating his women ain't his thing), but given the comic book/tabloid atmosphere of the film, that's a moot point.
Good performances by Ms. Ricci and Mr. Jackson, and I for one, enjoyed Samuel's singing and playing very much. If it wasn't him, he sold me on it enough to make it alright. The first song he played in the bar with his band was a killer.
One could quibble about the fact that EVERY single Caucasian in the movie is either a scumbag, a slut or a moron, and every man and woman of color is virtuous and noble (even the drug dealing pimp who has a bit of a lighting halo over his head while he maintains that beating his women ain't his thing), but given the comic book/tabloid atmosphere of the film, that's a moot point.
Good performances by Ms. Ricci and Mr. Jackson, and I for one, enjoyed Samuel's singing and playing very much. If it wasn't him, he sold me on it enough to make it alright. The first song he played in the bar with his band was a killer.
The All-American Girl
(1973)
For what it is, it's wonderful
2 January 2006
I saw this film when it first came out, and was able to obtain a VHS copy from Something Weird which will have to do until a DVD is available.
The film itself is a surprisingly erotic film that spotlights the stunning talents of Peggy Church, whose incredible body is the main reason for watching this movie. Her acting is dreadful, as is almost everyone else's in the film. It's a couple of very arousing scenes that make this worth watching, one of which being a very light bondage session with an older neighbor.
The erotic highlight is a massage session between Peggy and the above mentioned neighbor's wife, and a more sensual scene could not be wished for. It's not overly graphic, but the cutaways are done remarkably well, and the photography is exceptional when you consider what we are talking about here; basically a soft core porn film.
If you are interested in breaking a wife or girlfriend into erotic films and don't want to scare them off, you might wish to consider The All_American Girl. It has a few laughs, some of which are intentional, but basically it is a showcase for the visual eye candy named Peggy Church, who seems to only have appeared in a couple of other films such as this before vanishing from the movies forever. Our loss.
The film itself is a surprisingly erotic film that spotlights the stunning talents of Peggy Church, whose incredible body is the main reason for watching this movie. Her acting is dreadful, as is almost everyone else's in the film. It's a couple of very arousing scenes that make this worth watching, one of which being a very light bondage session with an older neighbor.
The erotic highlight is a massage session between Peggy and the above mentioned neighbor's wife, and a more sensual scene could not be wished for. It's not overly graphic, but the cutaways are done remarkably well, and the photography is exceptional when you consider what we are talking about here; basically a soft core porn film.
If you are interested in breaking a wife or girlfriend into erotic films and don't want to scare them off, you might wish to consider The All_American Girl. It has a few laughs, some of which are intentional, but basically it is a showcase for the visual eye candy named Peggy Church, who seems to only have appeared in a couple of other films such as this before vanishing from the movies forever. Our loss.
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