elevator_opratr Reviews

Mesmerized (1985)

Odd-ball movie

[4/10 · 17 June 2005]

Odd-ball movie. What could have been a decent story, instead fell victim to some very bad acting ... acting that was almost painful to watch ... it felt like the actors/actresses were totally uninterested in recording this.

Based on a supposedly true story based in 1800's New Zealand with an almost unbelievable plot, the unbelievability of the plot is made even more inevitable by poor acting. Instead of driving home the point of the real-ness of the movie, the acting made it look like a joke.

Watch it and be prepared to scratch your head at the end. You'll say to yourself: "either this was total baloney, or it was true, but the story very poorly told."

Dressed to Kill (1980)

Predictable

[12 May 2005]

Up and down.

I've seen some reviewers elsewhere saying the museum scene in the beginning was beautifully shot. Well yes, but it was an annoying and pointless 10 minutes at the same time. I saw no need for it. As I saw no need for the weird shower scene at the opening.

Nevertheless, the movie picked up pace and got much better after the odd beginnings, only to have a predictable ending.

A down start, a good middle, and a down ending. My opinion of this movie in a nutshell.

Nevertheless, it's worth a look.

Good Against Evil (1977 TV Movie)

Not 'that' bad, but not that good

[5/10 · 12 May 2005]

I didn't hate this as much as some of the comments here, but it's nothing to write home to mom about either.

The weirdest part was the ending. It just ended! Talk about an unsatisfied feel! Upon reading up on the movie, I learned it was meant to be a pilot for a series, and I guess that dumb ending was meant to be picked up. Unfortunately, I think the writers shot themselves in the foot in that the movie and the ending was so odd, it never wound up living past its first show! Good only if you want to see a creepy, low-budget horror flick on a lonely night, and you don't mind an ending that's as weird as the VCR getting unplugged halfway through.

Millions (1991)

Silly B-rated flick

[3/10 · 11 May 2005]

I should be the IMDb king of B-rated movies. All the movies I rate have about 2 user comments. :-) Anyway, another bargain DVD from the local discount store again. Not as enjoyable as most B-rated movies as this one takes itself too seriously, with unintentional (or maybe intentional ... I can't tell) humor.

The most ridiculous part was trying to remember at the movie's end how many people Billy Zane slept with. That's the only impression of the movie I got. Dumb plot toying with being serious, but shallow enough for most people to see that this is nothing more than a silly sex drama.

Lovers and Liars (1979)

Silly but fun

[6/10 · 10 May 2005]

It's amazing how even big-name stars like Goldie Hawn, smack dab in the middle of their career can record a total idiotic flop like this that #1) no one ever heard of ... #2) really poor script, shooting, and acting ... but #3) is fun.

That's what this is. What in the name of heaven prompted Ms. Hawn to record this? I found this flick for one buck in the bargain DVD barrel at the dollar store. Was she desperate for work? This was post "Foul Play," so her career was already set. I don't get it.

NEVERTHELESS, now that I have all that off my chest, this was a fun movie, for what it was worth. Giancarlo Giannini almost reminded me a little of Peter Sellers with his slick but bumbling slapstick acting. Goldie Hawn complimented the slapstick.

It's worth watching. But unless you are a die-hard Goldie fan, don't go out of your way to find this rare film.

Callie & Son (1981 TV Movie)

Oddly Complex

[9/10 · 2 May 2005]

I picked this one up at the local dollar store. Recently, dollar stores have been buying out these old B-rated clunkers, packaging them in cardboard boxes, painting it up all pretty, and selling them for a buck. If you're a dollar store fan like I am, you know what I'm talking about.

Anyhow, I picked this one up expecting another B-rated clunker (don't get be wrong ... I LOVE B-rated clunkers). But what I got was a pleasant surprise. First of all, the package was mislabeled. It said 90 minutes. Instead, it's about 140 minutes. It looks like it was a made-for-TV movie or mini-series.

Never have I seen a movie where at the end, I felt like I had watched 10 different movies with 10 different stories. But that is what this is.

Very lengthy, complex, weirdly wonderful movie. This is some kind of great movie with some very deep points to it, yet I'm not sure what they are, other than the dangers of being an obsessive mother.

Watch it if you find it somewhere (like at the dollar store). I have a short attention span when it comes to movies, but this one kept my attention for 140 minutes.

It's worth more than a dollar. It's actually worth at least 2 dollars. LOL

Trapped (I) (2002)

Kept my attention

[8/10 · 13 June 2004]

But then again, any action movie can keep my attention. I have more trouble focusing on dramas and comedies unless they are very well written. My point is: this movie, while full of action, is contrived. When the end credits began, I was left sitting there thinking: "did I just see what I really saw?" The first 80% of the movie I give 9 stars out of 10. But "Trapped" rapidly becomes ridiculously overdone during the last 20 minutes. I give that part only a 7, for an average of 8. It's worth the view, but again, I'm beginning to get tired of these overdone endings. Something more believable would have stuck better with me. Not some ridiculously simulated 100 car pileup on I-5.

Bruce Almighty (2003)

Idea very similar to "Groundhog Day"

[6/10 · 10 June 2004]

Two things about this movie:

1) Did anyone notice how this movie is loosely based upon the same storyline as Bill Murray's "Groundhog Day" from a decade ago? Both are about sarcastic and cynical TV personalities disgusted with their current position in life. And both are about being granted with some sort of supernatural power or affliction to help teach them a lesson. Both characters at first abuse that power, and then learn to use it to the betterment of their own attitude and helping society.

2) This has got to be the most juvenile adult film I've ever seen. It's almost like a "kid's mentality" film for adults.

It still doesn't get as many kudos in my book as "Groundhog Day," but it's worth seeing. Warning though, this movie is very stupid, but in a good-hearted way.

Just Married (2003)

Seems loosely based on "The Out of Towners"

[6/10 · 10 June 2004]

To me, this movie seemed loosely based on "The Out of Towners." It's about a vacation (in this case, a honeymoon) gone wrong. Add that to several factions in the girl's family that are wishing for just that. They don't like the guy. They even go so far as to send her ex-lover to the honeymoon spot to help break up the marriage. This movie is sweet and harmless, but very juvenile. If you're up for a couple hours of nonsense, watch it. If you're in for a deeper romantic comedy, this is not for you. Surprisingly, I had fun with it, while my wife hated it. Talk about a role reversal! I had never even heard of this movie until seeing it on cable. It must have done poorly in the box office. I give it a conservative 6 out of 10 stars.

Against the Law (1997)

And I usually LOVE B-rated flicks ...

[4/10 · 5 June 2004]

... but the keyword here is "usually." I have been known to adore movies EVERYONE thinks are dumb. But in the world of B-rated movies, THIS one is Z-rated. Absolutely ridiculous. The thing I respect about most of my favorite B-rated movies are that they don't take themselves too seriously. The makers of movies like that sort-of treat the movie lightly, even if it's a heavy topic. I get the impression, however, that the producers of this movie took themselves way to seriously, like they were putting together a 10-star classic, complete with poor attempts at poignant lines and dumb camera shots. Nevertheless, despite all this, I STILL gave it 4 out of 10 stars, as I am biased towards movies like this. If you're a B-rated fan, however, I would try too hard to find this one.

Strip Search (2004 TV Movie)

Weird

[6/10 · 28 April 2004]

First of all, 58 minutes? What kind of movie is that? The specs say 120 minutes, but that must be a typo. Secondly, this movie makes its point, but in a weird way. I realize the necessity of flipping back and forth between the two interrogations, but was it necessary for the scripts between the two scenes to be practically identical? (But I guess if one was taken out, then we'd be left with a 29 minute movie ... LOL). Anyhow, I just feel this whole story could have made its point in a much more practical fashion. And was it necessary to have half of the movie filmed with the actor and actress totally nude? I realize the point of showing the strip search, but have them cover up when its done. I almost got the impression the movie was more of a nude showcase than anything. But I got the message, and for that, it's still worth 6 outta 10.

One Hour Photo (2002)

Excellent work

[28 April 2004]

I love finding little boo boo's in films and I found one here. Did anyone take notice to the muzak elevator music in the background during the shots in the SavMart? Being an elevator music fan, I did. And the during the one scene at the SavMart, an instrumental version of the DeBarge song "Someone" was playing in the background. During a later scene, a different day, etc., the same exact song was playing at the SavMart! LOL I guess the producers didn't want to have to give credit to an extra song.

Anyway, that's just a side note. The movie was spectacular. Far better than I expected. Robin Williams plays a psycho. But a good-hearted psycho! Who could be mad at him when he goes on a vigilante tirade against a cocky, unloving, and unfulfilling husband with a nice family who goes fooling around with some bimbo? Nevertheless, we can't underestimate Sy's true intentions, though. But what are those intentions? Mere loneliness and the desire to have a family? Or something more?

Classic flick.

Swimfan (2002)

Not great. But not bad.

[14 April 2004]

Good element of this film: suspenseful to the very end with some odd twists. Unique "teenage" take on "Play Misty for Me" or "Fatal Attraction."

Bad elements of this film: Some really cheesy acting. I mean REAL cheesy. And a subject matter very overdone and played out in years past.

Side note: On the DVD, where the director makes comments about certain scenes, etc., the film's relation to "Fatal Attraction" comes up. Call this a silly pet peeve, but am I the only one here who takes offense when "Fatal Attraction" gets all the credit for this weird rip offs? "Play Misty for Me," way back in 1970 with Clint Eastwood is the ORIGINAL movie with this concept, as far as I'm concerned.

But that's neither here nor there. The long and short of it: 2 stars out of 4.

A Child's Cry for Help (1994 TV Movie)

I'm really torn ...

[7/10 · 30 January 2004]

I'm really torn how to rate this movie. So after much thinking, here's this movie in a nutshell: subject matter = stellar ... acting = not so stellar.

1) The subject matter is a topic never really addressed in the movies, but of very high interest and importance. EXCELLENT topic.

2) But the acting and portrayal of this topic was kind of trite, contrived, and over-acted.

Still a healthy 7 out of 10. Definitely worth watching until the same topic with much better acting comes out someday hopefully.

Old School (2003)

Cute but unimpressive

[28 January 2004]

Cute story. Several laughs. But while watching this, I got the feeling that this same storyline had been done over so many times before. Nothing really original and kind of boring. OK for light-hearted comedy if you see it on cable someday, but don't waste your money or go out of your way to rent it.

The Clairvoyant (1982)

Surprisingly good B-grade flick

[8/10 · 26 January 2004]

As a fan of B-rated movies, I didn't know what to expect when I saw this film advertised in the TV guide on a local independent UHF station known for showing off-the-wall movies. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, this movie is perfect for people who love those tacky memories of the early 80's. You'll see the rotary dial phones. The 1980 Ford Fairmounts. The old rabbit-ear televisions. But this movie is more than all that. Despite having a lot of lesser-known actors/actresses, the storyline was unlike most other B-films. It was actually very good ... as a TV reporter and a cop try to figure out who's committing various murders in New York City ... both seemingly having personal interests vested in solving the crimes ... and both getting on each other's nerves in the interim ... this all being made worse when a supposed clairvoyant steps into the picture who seems to have the ability to know someone's going to die before it actually happens. All this makes for a film that I think deserves more credit than it must have ever got ... being I never even heard of it. If you manage to find it at the bottom of some discount barrel of old VHS movies, or you see it advertised on some late night channel, by all means, watch it. It'll be worth your time.