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pitchthedevil
Just kidding of course! I'm mighty white, 26 come from Cali but am stuck in Maine at the moment. Bad movies are the best movies, ESPECIALLY HORROR! Give me a sweet 4:20 matinee and babysitters gettin' cut up and I'm a happy camper. MST3K gave me hope as a child and my first boyfriend gave me scabies. Punk Rock all the way baby. Oh yeah, I'd gladly trade in my rainbow flag for ONE NIGHT with Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Reviews
Alien Avengers (1996)
"That motherf**ker cut me!"
Wow...what a great movie! The first 15 minutes are a little heavy handed, with the whole "struggling young black man" thing. Trying to stay true to himself without becoming a crack dealer and then, his momma dies. Bummer. But once George Wendt and family show up it gets friggin' righteous! They really look like they had a good time making this movie. When George rips off a skinheads leg and beats him over the head with it, well, that's just golden...Roger Corman is hit or miss (but he does pump out, like, 17 movies a year) but he's pretty much on the nose with this flick. I've not seen the sequel, but I'll be seeking it out. The dialogue is pretty great and the bloodshed is AOK. The wife is by far the best, with her smokes, cat eye sunglasses and camera. If you like the idea of the mean streets of South LA being cleaned up by a pack of retro aliens this is a dream come true. Also worth it is the wife's dressing down of the druggies in the crack house, and the explanation given to an inmate as to why they get visitation rights with each other. "Cause we're special...and you're just a piece of sh*t child molester that should have been castrated with a dull knife before being executed", the line is delivered with the gleeful anticipation of a 9 year old on Christmas morning...truly, da bomb.
Tank Girl (1995)
Not AS Horrible as you think.....
Okay, I'm a HUGE fan of the comic which means, logically, I should HATE the movie. It has NOTHING to do with the comic, the plot's lame, the effects are average, the characters completely different than the way they're written in the books....and yet, I can't help liking it. It's almost like they wrote an adventure and put Tank Girl in it. Come to think of it, I don't believe they even refer to her as "Tank Girl", but Rebecca Buck. Which is also odd because in the comics her real name was Marcy Brown. But I digress. This movie can be VERY funny, very goofy and a great movie to watch at 4:20. The musical number is cool and some of the lines could make you blow milk from your nose. In the end though, I find the people that love this movie the most are girls between 11 and 16. Which, as a 25 year old gay punker puts me in the same mindset. Besides, other than Buffy and Xena who else do girls have to learn butt kicking skills from?