jeff934 Reviews

Cloverfield (2008)

Shouldn't this also have been labled as a comedy?

[6/10 · 16 March 2009]

OK, first off I'll admit when this first came out I wanted to watch it so badly. But due to money reasons I couldn't see it in theater so I waited and it came out on DVD. Once again I wasn't able to watch it but this last Sunday I finally got my hands on it. I wasn't sure what to expect to be honest, I knew it was about a monster that attacked a city that much I knew. But now that I've watched it I'm not sure if this was the intended effect but honestly I couldn't help but laugh my butt off. It seems that some actors used too much emotions while others didn't use any at all. It seems that they couldn't have a target zone for emotions, Rob was all over the freaking place and Hud... I'll be honest in my opinion Hud was annoying. He seemed to be overly energetic considering a 15 story monster is coming through town and just laying waste to everything. I'm really wondering if he did some drugs or something prior to the attack. Even when he got eaten by the monster there was a comedic effect with that, even the monster couldn't handle Hud anymore and spit him out.

Now lets talk about some of the things I noticed in the movie I stated this earlier but was it me or was Hud really annoying? The guy was told in strict confidence that someone slept with another person so what did he do? He ran all over the party just blabbing it out. I mean seriously if this guy was at my party I'd thrown him out the window by the time I got to talk to him.

Next, there is the issue of the little monsters in the subway but isn't it me or did the monsters make the same sound that the Hamburgler from McDonalds use to make? You know the whole "Wobble Wobble" sound, I hear that and it's like whatever intensity they were trying to build up for this movie just got trashed because of that sound, I heard it and honestly I laughed it's just so cheesy.

Now, what's with the Camera? this thing lasted almost what 12 hours on one battery? this has to be either a top secret camera that only they had or... I don't know but the thing was also rugged as all get go.

The last WTF moment I'll talk about is what was with the horse going down the street? what was the monsters taste specific? it'll eat a human but it'll not touch the horse? Overall the Movie was nice with the exception of what I talked about if they ever do a sequel lets try to get the emotions in check.

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

Jason is here

[10/10 · 26 July 2004]

It's been a few months since Mrs Voorhees was killed and Alice is trying to get past everything. The only mistake she makes is that she tries to heal at Crystal lake. She ends up opening up her fridge and sees Mrs Voorhees head in it than after that shes killed who did it? Could it have been the son she talked about at the end of the first movie? Could it have been Jason Voorhees? After awhile alot of the Teens at the camp next to Camp Crystal Lake start to get killed in Gruesome fashion. everything from a Axe to a Mechette. This movie is a perfect Sequal it even has Crazy Ralph which is his last appearence in the movie series. I won't give it all away but what I'll say is if you want to see a good sequal than this is perfect just remember don't ever go in the woods alone lol j/k. my ranking for this movie. 10/10

Friday the 13th (1980)

Just one word: PERFECT!!!

[10/10 · 22 July 2004]

I've seen all the Friday the 13th movies and they were all awesome but this was the best it starts out with a nice woman heading to her summer job as a camp councilor. (SP) Who ends up getting killed who did it? Well there are rumors around the town of a boy who drowned when he was 11 is the killer him? What I like about this movie the most is that you never see the killer till the end all you see is a sudden swipe of a knife or some other weapon and than your dead. I love the gore that is in the movie it was so awesome everything from the throat being slit open to the arrow through the chest of Kevin Bacon which this is his very first role in a movie that I know of. As you watch you'll notice that at the end of the movie there's only one character left Alice who is left alone in a cabin when you see a body go flying through a window. When I first saw that I was like. "AHH S**T." thats some pretty scary stuff for a kid who was only 8 when he saw it. Alice tries to baracade her front door than she sees a jeep pull up she comes out and out pops this nice looking old lady. Her name is Mrs Voorhees well after awhile we find out shes the mother of the drowned boy his name was Jason Voorhees she than reveals that her sons birthday was that night. I won't spoil everything but suffice to say there's a fight and a death than at the end of the movie you see a rotting corpse jump out of the lake is this Jason???

Halloween II (1981)

A perfect Sequal

[10/10 · 20 July 2004]

This instalment starts where the orignal ended Laurie Strode is taken to the hospital with injuries and Micheal Myers has 6 bullets in him and somehow lived. Now hes stalking the neighborhood on his way to find his sister both Dr. Loomis and the Sherif is searching desperately to find him. It's later revealed that Micheal is the Brother to Laurie Strode. that she was put up for addoption by her birth parents so she could be saved. It didn't work. Micheal later gets to the hospital and once again Laurie must defend herself from him. At the end Micheal gets his eyes shot out by Laurie and than the hospital gets blown up after Laurie gets out I won't say much more but I give this movie a 10/10 for it being a sequal.

Halloween (1978)

Great Movie a masterpeice of the genera

[10/10 · 20 July 2004]

Back in 1978 there were not many good horror movies to look forword to. "Friday the 13th." wouldn't be done for 2 more years and "Nightmare on Elm Street" wasn't even being filmed for another 4 years. Than John Carpenter revealed his master peice in 1978. "Halloween." the premis is that a 6yr old boy named Micheal Myers murders his sister on Halloween and is than taken to a hospital. Than 15 years later he escapes and heads home to start killing again. The only person who may be able to stop him is the doctor that always tried to keep him locked up. Dr. Loomis, He makes his way back to Haddonfield, Illinois and he starts to kill again but for some reason he starts to stalk Laurie Strode a mild manner teen. Who never wanted to hurt anyone. Why is he stalking her? well its revealed that Laurie Strode is in reality Laurie Myers, Micheal Myers sister. Thats all I'll say for now the movie is awesome and scary as hell. I give it a 10 out of 10.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

I feel so let down

[7/10 · 19 July 2004]

I been waiting for this movie since the end of Jason Goes to Hell. Boy I should still be waiting the premis is good but look at what the movie has to offer. They don't have Kane Hodder in it who in my opinion is the best Jason Voorhees ever they have some Short sissy looking guy with a last name that no one could pronounce. Kane Hodder defined Jason Voorhees. He was waiting for that role and what happened? In his own words Hodder said. "If they wanted to hire a skinny bitch than they did a good job." I agree with that. Not only did they let me down without hireing Hodder they didn't even hire Betsy Palmer to play Mrs. Vorhees they hired some granny that didn't even look like Palmer at all. But Heaven forbid they hired Robert Englund. So lets review Storyline is ok, No Hodder and no Palmer I give it a 7/10 it only gets 7 out of 10 because of the storyline if the storyline sucked anymore than I wouldn't have given it that good of a rating.

The Many Lives of Jason Voorhees (2002 Video)

If your new this is the best way to understand the past of the movies

[10/10 · 19 July 2004]

If you been wanting to watch the Friday the 13th flicks but your not sure what you should start with or that you don't know much about the franchise than this is the best place to start. "The Many Lives of Jason Voorhees" is the best Documentry about the movie series it goes all the way from the first movie. "Friday the 13th." all the way to "Jason X." In this Documentry you'll learn who the major players are and how the Character of Jason and the movies have evolved from the very first low budget film all the way up to the powerhouse it is now. You'll learn intresting facts like that no one has ever played the Role of Jason Voorhees more than once with the exception of Kane Hodder. And that Paramount was ashamed of the movie that they picked up. I think this is the best way to get a understanding of this cult clasic movie franchise. I give it a 10/10

Haunting Desires (2004 TV Movie)

Haunting Desires? how about Crap that is still haunting my toilet...

[1/10 · 1 July 2004]

Whenever I watch a porno I'm used to seeing good looking guys and hot women. Well when I turned on my Dirrect TV sat box and saw that show I read the description and it looked good. It said that a woman falls for a vampire so I was possibly thinking something along the lines of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Boy was I freaking wrong. There was a hot woman in it. But the guy looked like the Ass End of a dolphin I mean this guy looks more like he would be good at working in the meat department of your local grocery store. Than there was a old man. YOU NEVER HAVE A OLD MAN IN A PORNO ITS LIKE A BIG NO NO. This movie was a joke from the opening credits to the very end all I can say is that they got it right when they picked the lead actress. She ain't no Nikki Fritz, Jenna Jameson or Brinna Banks but she gets the job done. My vote for this movie?

1/10

Sex, Secrets & Betrayals (2000 Video)

How far would your girlfriend go for you?

[10/10 · 1 July 2004]

This movie asks the ultimate question how far would your girlfriend go for you?

This is one of Nikki Fritz's best movies in my opinion in it she is the wife of a guy who owes her ex a rather large amount of money. He doesn't have the money to pay him back so what does the Ex do? He breaks her husbands fingers. This makes the husband go into hiding. In return Nikki makes this plan to convince her ex to let her "Work off" the debt by doing favors for him over the week and weekend. Everything from having sex with him to finding out who is after him in court and who the witnesses are. I think they should have had the camera on Nikki more than they did the lesbian bodyguards didn't do anything for me they looked too Butch. Other than the lesbian Bodyguards the movie was awesome I prefer one of those Nikki Fritz massages right now. lol anyway my rating for the movie.

10/10

I Love the '80s Strikes Back (2003– )

A good show to make you remember the old times.

[26 June 2004]

Granted I was born in 81 but I somehow feel connected to that time more than any other.

This show is good for remembering I remember seeing the whole thing last Christmas. I remember snuggling in my bed and watching it I loved the little things they talked about one thing I remember was how they poked some fun at Friday the 13th it was all in good fun. I also remember them talking about nightmare on elm street saying things like if you don't go to sleep Freddy is going to come and kill you. I wish they have I love the decade shows every day. Or at least while I'm off from work. One thing I wish they would have done different was made each episode a lot longer a hour wasn't good enough for each year I say two would be a good starter. But other than that I seen I love the 70's and I can't wait to see the I love the 90's coming this July. Rock on VH1.

p.s they had a awesome cast of people to review the times.

I Love the '70s (2003– )

Helped me learn a lot about the decade before I was born.

[26 June 2004]

I'm a natural learner I like to learn about things this show helped me learn about the 70's I learned a lot about the fashions and the music I can't believe that they talked about porn like that. Its nice to know that not all the porn actors were as gorgeous as they are now they looked like normal people. I just wish they would have had 2 hour shows for each year like they did the 80's. I can't wait for I love the 60's and I love the 90's. VH1 Did a good job putting the cast together I applaud them. The one thing I'm wondering is why didn't they talk about Elvis dying Granted I'm not from that decade but thats something big. Plus I think they could have had more of the rise and fall of Disco. it just makes me wonder what the next I love shows will be like.

Get a Life (1990–1992)

Totally awesomeness

[26 June 2004]

I remember back when I was 9 trying to watch this show it was the only other show besides Married with Children that my mother never really let me see. I think one reason I loved this show was that it had Chris Elliott in it I mean you can't get any funnier than Chris Elliott. I'll be honest I can't really remember all the episodes I just remember that this show was totally awesome. There was one episode that he built a submarine in his parents bathroom I mean how many children wished they could? I feel this show was so awesome because he wasn't afraid to do what parents didn't like. I just wish that they would have kept this show on for more than the two seasons it was on... Anyway its a great show all around and I applaud Chris Elliott on a great job.

Married... with Children (1987–1997)

It was perfect for being a Core show on Fox's first lineup.

[26 June 2004]

Back in 1987 there were three major networks ABC, CBS, and NBC well a new station challenged them at that time yes your right it was Fox. Fox had 3 main lineup core shows you know shows that launched a station. Well they were 21 Jump Street, The Tracy Almond (Not sure about her name) show and Married with Children. Who would have though a show about a lowly shoe salesman would have done so good yet attract so much flack? The story goes like this there was Al Bundy who was destined to be a star football player till a bad leg injury stopped him dead in his tracks. Well he thought he would rehab it and take a job as a shoe salesman for the summer.... Well lets just say that job lasted 25 years. Yes you heard me right 25 years well he met a woman in highschool named Peggy you know the typical red neck him and her hit it off and they had 2 kids Bud and kelly. They moved into a nice 2 story house in a neighborhood that didn't want them there. One of the people who hated poor Al was their neighbor Marcy Rhodes who later became Marcy "Darcy" Yes your right her first and last name rhyme. The one thing she liked about Al was he had a job that her playboy husband Jefferson refused to get well I won't get much into it I'll just talk about other stuff about the show. One thing I remembered was that the show got a lot of flack because the characters made constant fun of large women and the occasional lesbian but besides that this show was awesome I would recommend it to anyone who wants some old school long live married with children.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Awesome possem

[10/10 · 27 March 2004]

This is the best film ever. It has Tom Green in it I think that you have to have a extreme personality to really get into what he does. I was able to get into it and laugh its hard to find someone who does what he does. I loved him in Road Trip and Stealing Harvard. I just hope that what people think of him won't alter what other people do in the future. I hope he continues to do funny movies. I would have loved to see him in with the jackass crew also or even do a cameo on their movie. Yep imo Jackass and Tom Green was meant for eachother. I also liked the storyline of this movie it proves that the best son doesn't always win and that the stupid child can sometimes come out number one and get the fathers love.