snakej32 Reviews

Deadpool (2013 Video Game)

Deadpool is a rental at best, it could've been so much better

[6/10 · 5 July 2013]

Honestly the reviewers on here who are saying that Deadpool is a great game and that it "delivers" really must have low standards, either that or they're just making excuses for something they spent $60 on. Sadly there's a reason this game is getting mediocre to slightly above average reviews across the board. Deadpool can be entertaining sure, but this is 2013 and the gameplay and graphics are just like stuff we've seen on Xbox 1 or even PS2. Underdeveloped lock-on system, average at best graphics and character models, basic hack and slash swordplay, mediocre platforming, and generic levels and level design. High Moon really could've done a lot more with this game and made it one of the best and most unique 3rd person shooters on 360/PS3 but they just threw this together and didn't try to innovate at all.

There are definitely a few good sequences and a couple really creative/entertaining ones but the base gameplay leaves a lot to be desired. Mostly just repetitive shooting and hack and slash against waves and waves of enemies(Who all have the same health bars above their heads). Some of Deadpool's jokes and movie references are great while others just fall flat/are completely stupid so his character alone isn't enough to redeem the game. Deadpool is the definition of a solid rental or a budget priced game, (and even then its still nothing amazing) but for $60 its almost a joke. I've only been playing the game off and on for two days and I'm already on the last level and there's no multiplayer, just a few mediocre challenge maps based on levels from the campaign so there isn't even any real replay value. Its really a shame, I was looking forward to this game since I've liked High Moon's games in the past; Darkwatch was pretty good and the Bourne Conspiracy game they made had solid shooting and hand to hand mechanics, so I know they're capable of making something better than what we got. It seems like they just didn't put in the effort this time around.

Miami Vice (2006)

One of the Worst Movies of 2006, Mann's Greatest Failure

[2/10 · 25 February 2007]

I don't write reviews often, but after seeing so many positive scores for this movie I was compelled to write an honest one: Michael Mann taints his own great filmography with this piece of trash. Clearly Mann is, has been, and should still be capable of films much, much better than this. Let's start out with the absolute lack of any kind of character development whatsoever, the audience is simply dropped into the movie knowing nothing about the characters and by the film's end nothing has changed. Ferrell's wooden performance is downright laughable (how could anyone ever take him seriously with that handlebar mustache?), and Foxx's isn't far off. The dialog is weak and unmemorable and the script has so many plot holes and scenes that should have never gotten past the first draft that it's a wonder this ever got green-lighted. The main focus of this movie seems to be the love story between Gong Li (whose English is barely understandable) and Colin Ferrel rather than the experiences of two undercover narcotics officers, and to make things even worse these parts of the film are handled downright terribly. There are about 4 "love" scenes in this movie, and probably 3 of them take place in a shower, that is to say 3/4 could have easily been cut, and the focus of this film should have remained on what viewers (especially fans of the TV show) wanted to see: the actual police work. The music is also awful, every song seems to be the worst possible selection of Audioslave or some kind of instrumental that doesn't fit with the movie. To all those people who say that this is an "intelligent cop movie for adults", what is your definition intelligent? A movie where plot holes, bad dialog, wooden acting and unnecessary sex scenes run rampant? I don't think so. Every fan of this movie uses the same argument: "If you were expecting Bad Boys 2 of course you were disappointed, go watch a Michael Bay movie." Well I wasn't expecting Bad Boys 2, I wasn't even expecting an action movie, I was just expecting something good, and I was utterly disappointed. If you are a fan of Michael Mann, well-made crime movies, thought provoking dramas, or simply movies that are coherent, AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS.

Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)

I feel so cheated SPOLIERS

[7/10 · 16 April 2004]

Kill Bill Volume 1 was a masterpiece, there is no doubt about that but this huge dissapointment Tarantino calls a second half does not do it justice. So many things make no sense and go against the whole style of the movie. Even the soundtrack sucks compared to the first. If you havent seen it yet dont read on SPOLIERS: The part when she is buried alive in the coffin and manages to not only break the coffin open, but she manages to get through all the hundreds of pounds of dirt that are coming in by what can only be described as flying through it to the top. So she can fly now, great. The whole scene with Elle is too short, and the sword fight doesnt last long at all. Another scene that was over promoted was the introductory chapel scene, Tarantino and others blew it out of proportion before its release saying that it was the whole scene of what really happened. In reality, they didnt even need to show it at all. All it shows of the actual "massacre" is a few seconds after the D.I.V.A.S. walk into the chapel (from behind no less), only to slowly back away from the chapel and only hear whats happening inside for about 10 seconds. And what the hell happened to Budd?? There's no big fight scene, theres no nothing with him and the bride, + he went from being one of the worlds most elite assassins to a poor alchaholic living in a trailer who's working as a bouncer at some strip club and it doesn't even say why. And he's randomly Bill's brother now and it barely mentions something about some kind of argument between them but nothing more. And Elle has him killed because she regrets that he killed The Bride when she told him to do it?!?! In Addition, the scene with the chinese assassin makes no sense, as assassins do not just leave their marks out of compassion or whatever you want to call it. Tarantino also cut the scene with the most potential which was Yuki's Revenge. The biggest injustice of all however, has to be the final scene between Bill and the Bride. Kill Bill is the title of the movie, and you'd think that The Bride's and Bill's fight would be some kind of epic battle, considering that the bride had such a hard time killing his assassins who don't even have half of the training or skills that he has. But no, the scene lasts for probably a little under a minute, and Bill puts up no kind of fight at all. I thought it was gonna be the climax of the movie! If their battle would have been longer I would have a much better opinion of the film. This movie does have some funny moments, and a few good scenes (especially the one with Pai Mei). I saw the first in theatres multiple times, and it remains one of my favorite movies, so me being so dissapointed with this one really says something about it. And it's not because it was "slow" because most of the best movies of all time are "Slow" and i've always been a fan of Tarantino's dialouge. And don't listen to any of this **** about it being complete now, this should have been one movie, it would have be much better and Tarantino would have had to cut some of the pointless and stupid crap making which would make the movie a great whole instead of a brilliant first half with a conclusion that pales in comparison.

Léon: The Professional (1994)

An Unintentionally Hilarious Comedy

[6/10 · 4 April 2004]

Hilarious, I have more laughs watching this movie with my friends than anything, think about it: The overly done stupid Milk thing, the whole first scene with things like: Leon randomly being in a vent to kill some guy when he was just on the stairs less than a minute before, when the balcony window closes hes somehow shooting towards it when he clearly isnt on the balcony which means he must be floating in the air in front of the building, him magically appearing and disappearing in a dark hallway in the beginning as well as his arm stretching when he backs up from the fat guy, the guys they try to pass off as D.E.A. (like the white Jamacan guy with a machine gun who empties his whole clip wildly in a small apartment or a guy who can sniff peoples lies and is high on drugs all the time) the whole pig in the kitchen thing (HES A HITMAN CMON), him taking in and training a little 12 year old girl who aspires to be a cleaner and having a strange relationship with her (if you see the uncut version the restaraunt scene is....strange) AND THEN HE GOES ON HITS WITH HER TOO, AND SHE USES A SILENCED PAINTBALL GUN! And has anyone looked closely at his choice of style? If you look you can see that his pants come up to his ankles and he wears knee socks haha, i'm sure thats what real hitmen dress like. Also, him using double pistols upsidown to kill a whole swat team, him surviving a grenade in a tiny apartment that hit right next to him (just by doing his hilarious "AHHHHHHHHHHHH" and diving a few feet to his side)and then him being able to recover from the blast with almost no injuries and then changing into an entire swat uniform in under 30 seconds. Also, Leon not noticing (in a totally empty hallway) that someone is following him with a gun (in a huge empty hallway you could surely hear someone else's footsteps, especially when they are right behind you.)If you want to see a good movie about a hitman watch Ghost Dog or even Road to Perdition. And Reno is damn good in La Femme Nikita as Victor, that's how a real "cleaner" would be, not a compassionate pedaphilic aging man who loves milk and plays with a pig ovenmit like Leon. I have to admit that the first time I saw this movie I liked it, but that was before I realized all of it's inconsistencies, if you watch it more than once it becomes more of a comedy, go ahead watch it again and really analyze it, I'm sure there's even more stuff I left out