Jouford Reviews

Hannah Gadsby: Something Special (2023)

Surely this violates the trade description act?

[1/10 · 29 February 2024]

Call me old fashioned; but I generally like some comedy in my comedy specials. I honestly don't know what this even was, but it wasn't comedy.

I've seen a lot of criticism thrown Hannah's way, and I've never bothered to confirm whether or not it's justified, so I decided to watch Something Special.

The criticism is justified.

This wasn't so much much a comedy special as it was a long whinge; about how hard Hannah - and women in general.- have had it in life. At no point does she explain how or why she's oppressed. She just throws it out there and uses the victimhood as a way to solicit laughs - a task at which she fails massively. I didn't even manage a smile during this show. I just sat scratching my head, wondering why it is this woman's shows get such high ratings.

It's truly a mystery to me.

The Terminal List (2022– )

Thank you, Chris Pratt.

[10/10 · 8 July 2022]

Binged the whole thing in a day. This is hands-down the best show I've watched since Breaking Bad!

Excellent characters.

Solid acting.

Very good writing.

Superb action.

What's not to like?

With this show, Reacher, Bosche, Sneaky Pete, The Expanse, and a lot their other output, I'm actually very impressed with Amazon.

More, please.

Westworld (2016–2022)

What happened?

[2/10 · 24 June 2022]

Season 1 - on par with Breaking Bad for superb writing and story.

Season 2 - Erm... Tessa Thompson is in it, so it automatically loses all credibility.

Season 3 - Nope.

Season 4 - Don't care.

Well done, HBO Max. You turned an incredibly promising show into an incredibly bad show in just one season. That takes some doing.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

A mess.

[2/10 · 24 December 2021]

Script - a mess.

Story - a mess.

Acting - a mess.

Visuals - a mess.

Casting - a mess.

Action - okayish, hence two stars instead of one.

I wanted to like this movie so badly, because I'm a big fan of Keanu Reeves, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

A totally pointless sequel, that almost nobody wanted.

I will say this, though, they did the right thing releasing it at Christmas, because it's a turkey.

Santa Inc. (2021)

Why?

[1/10 · 2 December 2021]

Remember when we were just allowed to enjoy things; without having an agenda rammed up our noses? Me too. I miss those days.

Tried watching this, because I wanted to make my own judgement on it. I managed about 11 minutes, I'm afraid.

The humour - from what I could tell - seemed to emanate from bad language and vulgarity. Why? It's supposed to be a festive show. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bothered by bad language and vulgarity. But when it's being used in place of actual humour, it's just annoying and obvious.

This was worse than Sausage Party, in my opinion, and that's saying something.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Hello! Script writers?

[3/10 · 7 September 2021]

Not that I expect coherent storylines from Disney, but good grief, this film was a mess. It's all over the place!

Here's a little tip for the people who wrote this: pick a tone and stick with it!

Good CGI and very good action set pieces. Hence three stars instead of one. Other than that - this is the normal generic Marvel phase 2 dross.

Oh, and Awkwafina is unwatchable! She's more like an irritant than an actress.

P. S. I'm incredibly suspicious of the o.t.t. Positive reviews this film is getting on here. Bots?

Lovecraft Country (2020)

Lazy writing.

[4/10 · 5 July 2021]

It's like this show was made by taking some good ideas and giving them to some bad writers - who then decided to use surrealism to mask their incompetence. Don't get me wrong, I like surrealism, when it's used correctly. This isn't that.

Some of the acting is stellar - which is why I've given it 4 stars instead of 3. Majors is good, and I'll watch Michael Kenneth Williams and Courtney B. Vance in anything. They couldn't save this, though. It's too messy.

Clarkson's Farm: Harvesting (2021) Season 1, Episode 8

Loved the Goodfellas references.

[10/10 · 12 June 2021]

Brilliant final episode of a brilliant new series from Jezza. The whole thing has been funny, informative, touching, absorbing, but it's also frustrating to witness just how severely that EU bureaucracy has hamstrung the British farming industry.

Can't wait for series 2.

Another Round (2020)

How does he keep doing it?!

[10/10 · 6 June 2021]

For me, Mags is probably in the top 5 actors in the world at the moment. Even in lemons such as Chaos Walking he can capture your attention and draw you into a nonsensical story. Not that his film is a lemon. Far from it, in fact.

In Another Round he once again shines; as a man who's home and work life have devolved into the boring and the humdrum. As have the lives of his three closest friends, so they decide to undertake a psychological experiment; involving the daily consumption of alcohol. The results are mixed, and fascinating to watch. The performances from all involved here are superb, and I can't recommend this film highly enough. Even if it's only to witness Mags' dance scene.

Do yourself a favour - watch this film. You definitely won't regret it.

Vanquish (2021)

Why, Morgan, why?

[1/10 · 27 May 2021]

I mean, come on. Morgan Freeman is one of the most watchable actors in the business. Most people could happily listen to him read the phone book for two hours - which, now I come to mention it, would've been more entertaining than this load of old guff. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to cast him alongside half human, half Dutch elm tree, Ruby Rose. She was so wooden in this movie (and every other role) that I genuinely thought she was being held at gunpoint and forced to say her lines.

The "action" was completely unrealistic and unbelievable. The "plot" was absolutely ridiculous. And the dialogue was pathetic.

It would've been something if this film fell into the "so bad it was good" category, but alas, it didn't. It just stank. And in my opinion, its 2.6 rating is way too high.

Chaos Walking (2021)

Contradictions!

[3/10 · 14 May 2021]

Does anyone else out there remember when writing made sense?

Can somebody please explain to me how a race of people who's thoughts can be seen and heard by everyone else managed to keep a secret from the main protagonist for his entire life?! It makes no sense! In fact, very little in this movie made any sense!

Hollywood, here's a suggestion for you: instead of crowbarring a Mary Sue into every single movie you release now, how about you crowbar somebody who can actually write a coherent story into your staff instead? I understand the desire to include a mind-blowing twist into your film. But that twist needs to make sense in order to be effective.

I've given this 3 stars based on the performances of Tom Holland and - the always brilliant - Mads Mikkelsen. They made this pile of gloop into something sort of bearable.

P. S. Stop killing dogs in movies!

Nobody (I) (2021)

Silly, far-fetched, unrealistic, and great fun.

[10/10 · 15 April 2021]

Honestly the most enjoyment I've had watching a film since the first John Wick.

No 'woke' political agenda, no moral lecturing, no message. This is the sort of thing Hollywood should be turning out on a regular basis if they want to get people back into cinemas.

Directors like Ilya Naishuller are a rarity nowadays - in that they just want to entertain audiences. He doesn't want to preach or to throw down any guilt trips. He obviously just wants his audience to have a good time. And that's exactly what I did do.

Odenkirk is phenomenal.

RZA (as brief as his appearance is) was excellent.

And Christopher Lloyd was a revelation.

More like this, please.

The Boys: Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker (2020) Season 2, Episode 7

You had to do it, didn't you?

[1/10 · 9 October 2020]

"Let's make America safe again".

Could you be any more obvious? That, along with the suspicion of immigrant references, and the indoctrination-fuelled shooting made this episode a left-wing wet dream. There goes another brilliant show, lost to political propaganda. I'm seriously sick of repeating myself here, but stop shoving your political agenda down our throats at every opportunity, Hollywood! I work in an office all day, at which I have to listen to political conversations. I turn on the radio in my car and I get politics thrown at me. The reason why I stopped watching TV was because it constantly bombarded me with politics. I hate politics! Do you know why I hate it? Because it divides people. The Boys, up until this episode, had avoided real world politics, and it was all the better show for doing so. Now, though, yet another means of escapism has been closed off to me. Thanks very much.

P.S. Hollywoke need to learn that they're alienating huge swaths of society with this constant "message". They're pandering to a very small but very loud minority, and it'll cost them. It already is.

Dumb.

Sorry to Bother You (2018)

Wtf?

[2/10 · 7 October 2020]

Firstly, I'm going to commend the acting in this movie - except from Tessa Thompson. She's exactly the same in everything that she does, which would be fine if she had the personality to carry it off, which she doesn't. Stanfield and Fowler, especially, though, were very good. Plus it's always good to see Danny Glover in anything.

The film, however, was dreadful. I normally enjoy absurdist humour, but this didn't know when to draw the line. It was strangely paced, too. Plus, is it even possible to watch a Hollywood movie nowadays without them having to ram a political message down our throats? It's mind-numbing, and, dismally, I find myself waiting for the point in every modern film or tv programme when it happens. Unfortunately, when it does, I completely lose all interest in what I'm watching.

If you like Monty Python sketches without the humour, you'll enjoy this. If not, avoid at all costs.

Frankie Boyle's New World Order (2017–2022)

Go home BBC, you're drunk.

[1/10 · 30 September 2020]

Frankie used to be an edgy, insightful and extremely funny comedian. He was hard to watch at times, but he always gave a belly laugh as the payoff. Now, however, he's developed a virulent case off BBCitis. He's displaying every symptom: self flagellation to atone for his skin colour. A total lack of humour. An overly diverse team of "comedians" who are less about comedy and more about telling Britain how racist we are. And the feeling that he sold his soul for his own show. The BBC has become a beacon for cultural Marxism. It doesn't even attempt to hide its agenda. This in itself would be easier to deal with if the British public weren't forced to pay for it! I haven't owned a TV licence is 6 years. And I never will again. I watched this at a friend's house, and I was horrified at the blatant anti-white racism on display, as was she. And here's the kicker - neither my friend or I are white. I'm half Senegalese, she's Sudanese. Britain has been good to us both. I've never encountered the Britain that the people on this show bang on about, and, tbh, I seriously doubt that they have, either. But then, if you look for a problem hard enough, you'll invariably find it. Or, when you're a hammer everything looks like a nail. P.S. One good thing came out of this dreadful excuse for a comedy show - my friend cancelled her TV licence. I hope more and more people do the same.

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus (2017 Video Game)

Why?

[5/10 · 31 August 2020]

Do you know why I play video games? Escapism. It's the same reason I watch movies. When the eternal nanny state gets too much for me, I lock myself away and play video games or I watch movies. Nowadays, however, it's no as easy to escape the nanny state via either of these means, because the nanny state sees to it that their politics has to be rammed down our throats via these two mediums, too.

I gave the game a 5 for the gameplay - which is as good as I've come to expect from this franchise - but I cannot stand the constant leftist agenda injected into my hobbies! And I say this as a mixed race gay male!

Leave our stuff alone!

X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)

Hollywoke.

[1/10 · 15 July 2020]

"By the way, Charles, the women are always saving the men around here, so you might want to think about changing the name."

That sentence sums up the entire film: contrived, agenda-driven tripe.

It's independent movies for me all the way from here on out.

Windy City Heat (2003 TV Movie)

Thank you Gavin McInnes.

[10/10 · 5 July 2020]

Gavin recommended this film on his show, and I'll be eternally grateful for that. It was one belly laugh after another. I had to pause it for 10 minutes at one point because my stomach and chest hurt so much from laughing. It's the most original comedy movie I've ever seen, hands down. Give it a go.

Doctor Who: The Timeless Children (2020) Season 12, Episode 10

Why?

[2/10 · 27 June 2020]

I don't understand why "diversity" and "inclusivity" now have to take precedence over story, plot, logic and continuity. Everything about this episode screamed "Sorry, long-term fans of Doctor Who, you'll just have to lump it now because we're woke". Doctor Who was the only reason I watched TV. It's the only thing I watched, ever. I'm finished with it now, though, which means that I'm not paying my licence fee anymore.

Woke culture is ruining everything. I watch Movies etc as a means of escape from the real world. Of at least, I used to. I'm sticking to the internet or to books from now on.

P.S. The whole dreadful mess aside, I gave to say that the new Master was very good - hence the second star.

When They See Us (2019)

The power of propaganda.

[1/10 · 18 June 2020]

If this was a fictional story I'd have given it 10 stars. It was well acted and very atmospheric, but if bared hardly any resemblance to what actually happened. Plus I get the feeling that it was written specifically just to have a go at Donald Trump. Ridiculous.

Heat (1995)

I obviously don't get it ...

[6/10 · 25 April 2020]

Let me start by saying that Heat isn't a terrible movie. In fact, it's not a bad movie at all. I just think that it's incredibly overrated. I'm not a huge fan of Michael Mann's work in general. I find his films to be no more than very long music videos. His movies seem to epitomise style over substance to me, and Heat is no different. DeNiro and Pacino chew through the scenes like they normally do. That's a given. The rest of the cast are as competent and watchable, but the film doesn't feel deep enough for me. Though judging by the way everyone else is rating it, I must be missing something, even after watching it three times. I'm sorry that I don't like this film. It's got all the right ingredients to be special, but, as far as I'm concerned, it's undercooked.

The Upside (2017)

A beautiful film.

[10/10 · 15 April 2020]

I know a lot of hate is being thrown at this film because it's a remake, and I get that, I genuinely do, especially as the original is such a superb piece of cinema, however, the performances of Hart and Cranston inject life into this effort. Hart is brilliant - but not because of his comedic genius for a change. He obviously enjoyed making this, and it showed. The chemistry between him and Cranston is what carries this movie. Give this a chance as a stand alone film. You'll smile, you'll laugh, and you'll cry, but above all, you'll enjoy it.

A Little Late with Lilly Singh: Chelsea Handler (2019) Season 1, Episode 5

Twice as not funny.

[1/10 · 20 February 2020]

Singh and Handler in the same show. We're talking Chernobyl levels of toxicity. What gets me more than anything else is how two people can contain so much hate and so much vitriol towards us "ordinary" people, but still manage to function in society. Dreadful people on a dreadful show. No more, please!

The Dead Don't Die (2019)

Inventive and irreverent.

[10/10 · 14 September 2019]

I'm not even going to pretend that I fully understood the tone of this movie. It's certainly self-aware. It even parodies itself. But that's all I have. What I will say is, though, is that I can't remember the last time I was as entertained whilst watching a film. It was nice to actually see a director's vision as oppose to a film that's obviously been weighed down with studio interference.

This movie definitely isn't for everyone. I get the feeling that the people who've given this a bad review or a low rating were expecting another Zombieland, or something in that genre. Which isn't an unreasonable assumption, considering the cast. Also the trailers were pretty misleading. So I can understand the disappointment. However, this was far more cerebral than that. It's not a "switch your brain off and enjoy the carnage" experience. You have to really examine what's going on in front of you. Take this film for what it is, not for what you want it to be. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

Bill Burr: Paper Tiger (2019 TV Special)

The further a society drifts from the truth, the more they'll fear those who speak it.

[10/10 · 11 September 2019]

Bill Burr doing what Bill Burr does best - telling the truth in a shocking, and incredibly funny way. Just as Chappelle was attacked for being blunt a few weeks ago when his special came out, Burr is already getting criticism for this routine. And just like with Chappelle, the more people whinge, the more popular it'll be.

Modern day outrage culture has seen to it that real, cutting edge comedians are in danger of becoming a thing of the past. Burr and Chappelle give me hope that they aren't.