jailbyrd Reviews

Sky Blossom (2020)

Caregiving is not the joyful experience the director would like you to believe

[4/10 · 30 May 2021]

As a teenager I was a caregiver for my grandmother and as an adult I cared for my disabled mother. As an adult it was my choice to do this and I do not regret it, as a 15 year old I was not given a choice. I was never asked how I felt about it or if I could even handle it. It took an unbelievable toll on my emotional, mental, and physical health. It is heroic to do this for your parent and every caregiver should be thought of as a hero, but there is a price to pay for it. And this film falls short of showing just how steep this price will be.

In this film 5 families are followed over a three year period with one man who is a Millenial and the others who are teenagers and even one who is as young as eleven. In oher words they are just kids. None of these children appear truly happy in this film and they all appear quite stressed. Yes their parents served their country and these children love their parents and want to help them which is admirable, but it is at the expense of sacrificing their own lives.

The man in this film who is a Millenial, the price he pays is his marriage. He winds up divorced. He has a 15 year old daughter with whom his relationsip is strained, and she is helping him take care of his father. He can afford to place his father in adult day care. He hires an aide to come 3 times a week and bathe his father, since his father stopped bathing on his own-a sign of cognitive decline. However, this is not something most other caregivers can afford. His father, is grateful he isn't in a nursing home but worries about what would happen to him if something happened to his son. His son has no answer for this. His son admits he has sacrified his life for his father.

One of the young girls in this film hates school, keeps to herself and tearfully tells the audience that caring for her father is fun. She says this but the look on her face betrays her. She is not having fun. She states he relies on her, she takes care of him, and she is always making sure he is happy. It is not a child's responsibilty to make sure her parent is always happy. She loves him of course and this girl is doing her best but she should not have to take on this much responsibilty at such a young age. And who is making sure she is happy? No one is asking these kids if they are alright, depressed, upset, stressed, no one is asking them how they truly feel. No one is seeing a counselor or a therapist These children love their fathers and grandfathers and are willing to do anything for them, but they are not doing just anything , they are doing everything. They help with cooking, and making sure their parent takes all their pills and they administer insulin shots and assist with bathing and with hygene-one father is on the couch with his urinal. You can imagine how unpleasant it is to deal with that on a daily basis.

One of the saddest stories is the Veteran who has cancer from being exposed to toxic burning waste, while serving in the Middle East. His 11 year old daughter is helping to take care of him while she also has ADHD and is on the Spectrum and dealing with being bullied. Two issues that would be a challenge for any child alone much less one who is also taking care of their father. Her mother admits that she may have been ignored but not on purpose, but because of having to take care of her husband and his illness.

And that's the next issue, at one point someone states that caregiving should not be thought of as a burden. To state that caregiving should not be viewed as a burden, then what should we consider it? A gift? A blessing? A privilege? Or as the director stated before the film-a joy? It is not a privilege to watch your parent decline before your eyes. It is not a privilege to sacrifice your marriage , your own goals and happiness , your finances, your health or to grow up faster than you should. There is extreme financial burden, and the long term psychological effects this has on one's health results in a legitimate illness known as caregiver's syndrome as well as PTSD.

Perhaps what caregiving should be called is heart breaking. It is stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting. Care givers frequently sacrifrice their own health and needs to make sure their loved ones have what they need. But we need to pay closer attention to young people taking this on. Yes their parents raised them.

And the man who is the millenial states he took care of his mother and now his father and since they took care of him , it is his responibility to do the same in return. But this is his choice. These children are not given a choice. And they are not being asked "Are you okay?" Too often someone will ask how your parent is doing but will not ask how the caregiving is doing. It is more considerate to at least ask them and stay in tune with their feelings. ..

There is a statistic at the end of this film that shows over 5.4 million children are taking care of parents who are disabled. This is an entire generation committing to this. This film sheds light on some amazing young people who absolutely deserve to be called heroes. But we also need to remember that they are children growing up too soon and they are caregivers who need care themselves.

A Song Is Born (1948)

Fantastic film with Jazz greats!!

[10/10 · 14 June 2009]

I fell in love with this movie first viewing it as a kid several years ago. I am surprised TCM does not air it more often. Danny Kaye plays a stuffed shirt music professor who lives with 5 other elder professors.Kaye sets out to document the history of Jazz music visiting clubs and inviting the musicians he has heard to several daily "jam" sessions to record music for a jazz library. He invites a lounge singer he meets,who is involved with a mob boss, and she winds up hiding out from the law at the professors house jamming with these musicians. This film is excellent for one good reason: the musicians invited are some of the best jazz players that ever lived. Clarinet player BennyGoodman, trombonist Tommy Dorsey, Vibraphonist Lionel Hampton, Pianist Mel Powell, and the great Louis Armstrong. There are also two vocal groups, guitarists and percussionists. If you ever had a dream group of musicians you wanted to see play together, you won't be disappointed with this film.One of the remarkable features of this film is not just that so many jazz greats were in it but that they were able to play together in the first place. This movie was made in 1948 when segregation was very much in force. Many of the great white jazz musicians of this time could not play on stage with the black musicians. The clubs white musicians played at did not allow blacks in them or they had to enter through the back door. Most of the time it simply was not allowed. So many great white jazz players who admired Armstrong and Hampton could never play with them because of this. Watch this film though, every jam session you see all the musicians present, black and white, are so engulfed in the music, no one even notices black, white or whatever. Just great music and a lot of fun! The back story is a little silly with Mayo on the lamb from the DA and hiding out at Kaye's residence. Kaye falls for her , playing naive and clueless to her motives. But of course they will wind up together in the end. Mayo looked beautiful in this film,great body! But the real draw is all the musicians. If you're a lover of jazz or even just music, this is a true gem to watch.

The Limit (2004 Video)

Forlani's best performance, but not the most well written story

[7/10 · 20 June 2004]

This movie has been released on DVD under the title "Gone Dark". I'm not sure why the title was changed, it doesn't help the story much. Basically the story is as follows: Forlani plays an undercover cop who has infiltrated a New York drug gang. To get closer to the main drug kingpin and gain his trust she becomes his girlfriend, and in the process she becomes addicted to heroin. To make matters even more complicated she is also involved with the kingpin's "right hand man" Denny, who happens to live in the same building as May, played by Lauren Bacall.

Denny and May connect in one way only: May constantly gets Denny's mail in her box and vice versa. When we first meet May she is exchanging mail w/Denny as he and Monica make their way to his apartment. Monica sees that May always gets Denny's mail by mistake.

When Denny turns up dead, the police come knocking on May's door, asking questions about Denny, and giving the assumption that it was a suicide. May has no answers for them, but when they leave she immediately checks her mail for the day. She finds she has a package that was addressed to Denny. A package that includes a gun and a tape. May doesn't know it but the tape contains incriminating information that Denny recorded about Monica, information that could blow Monica's cover and put her in danger of going to jail herself, if she doesn't get the package before her bosses do. Thus begins the game of Monica feeling out May for info on the package.

Monica knows May has been getting Denny's mail and if she can just get into May's apartment to look around she might find the information before it is turned over to the police. Monica eventually gets into the apartment and she finds the envelope that was addressed to Denny, but it is empty and May has hidden the contents, now desperate, Monica takes May hostage and refuses to release her until she gives up the contents of the package. May's life now depends on outlasting a strung out Monica who needs a "fix" in the worst way and needs the contents of that package asap.

It's an interesting story, but the film is told in reverse flashbacks, so pay attention, or you could get confused real quick. I saw a DVD screener of this movie and found myself repeating a scene just to figure out where the storyline was. That's a good sign you are going to get frustrated with the continuity of the story. I had a few problems with this story that are annoying as well. I never understood why Bacall's character does what she does. She knows her neighbor is dead. She knows the police are suspicious but they don't say why. She also knows she has a piece of his mail that she should turn over to the police. Not only does she not do this, but she opens the package and if the contents are not enough to scare her off, she decides to hide the items as well, as if she knows Monica is going to come looking for them. I mean Bacall's character is an old woman fighting to keep her independence and stay out of a nursing home, did she decide she was bored and wanted some action at this stage of her life? I suppose if May had not involved herself then there would have been no need for her in the story. But come on, common sense would tell anyone that an old lady who really has no way to defend herself should know better. There is also a guy who is completely unconvincing as May's physical therapist. He looks like someone who would rip her off in a minute. I won't spoil who he turns out to be at the end.

Denny, played with conviction by Henry Czerny, has his own agenda. He helps his boss set up Monica, at the same time he plays both sides of the fence because Monica discovers he is also turning states evidence for the police. And it appears that Monica is horribly used by everyone around her: the drug dealer she is trying to bust, by Denny who falsely acts like he wants to help her get clean of the drugs, and worst of all by the police who fail to realize that she is in way too deep trying to bust this drug dealer to begin with. In fact, that's just what this movie should have been titled, "In too Deep". Because this is exactly where the lead character winds up. Not to spoil anything, but as a viewer I was left disgusted that certain people don't get what they deserve, and Monica gets something she definitely did not deserve. You'll have to watch the film to find out who gets what.

As for the performances here, Lauren Bacall was the first billed of this film understandably so, since she is the bigger star. But the lead character is Forlani, and she clearly offers the most depth to her character than anyone else. I love Lauren Bacall but her portrayal of May was flat and unaffecting, she never really acts as if she is scared or truly believes that Monica is desperate enough to kill her. She is too emotionless and acts as if she could care less. I know her character is trying to outlast Forlani's but she struck me as bland and not concerned enough about her situation.

It must have been a dream come true for Forlani to work with a legend, but Forlani clearly delivers the better performance. Forlani is a master with an American accent, in this film it is also a New York accent. She conveys the hopelessness that she eventually faces as she sinks further and further into drugs while trying not to blow her cover. She shows us the pain of a desperate junkie and the futile efforts she makes to save herself.

This is a different role for Forlani, one where she gets to shine as a lead and show off her acting chops. This is an actress that certainly deserves more recognition and should be offered roles with more substance like this one.

I'm not sure why this film did not garner more attention at least on cable if not in the theaters, but it is now out on DVD and can be found on Ebay or Amazon.com. I would not be so drastic as to rate it 2.5 out of ten, it's not that bad. I would give it a respectable 7 out of 10, it's worth the effort just for Forlani's performance alone. And without spoiling the ending to this film, let me just say if you are in someone's apartment, and you know that if you go downstairs two people are waiting to kill you, but you need to get out of this building, and you're a cop with a gun ( w/a clip that probably has more than 6 bullets), why not go downstairs and see if you can't shoot your way out of it? I mean the worst that is going to happen is you are going to get killed anyway, but you might take some of the bad guys with you. The best thing? You might surprise them, especially if they don't know you're armed in the first place, then you kill them, take one of the cars, and take the hell off! But as previously stated it's not the most will written story.