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jimnineteen80
Reviews
Big Brother's Efourum (2004)
A bunch of nobodies sitting around putting the Big Brother house to rights
Now known as 'Big Brother's Big Mouth', but still the same format, cheeky Cockney chappie Russell Brand oversees a studio full of regular Joes who want to give their opinion on the Big Brother series & it's housemates. In amongst the plebs are 3 "special" guests who get to sit at the other end of the studio on their own chairs (the ham-&-eggers all sit on like a white bench close together); these VIPs are usually a Z-List celebrity fan of BB (Myleene Klass, Vanessa Feltz, someone like that), a previously evicted BB housemate, & a non-famous, self-proclaimed "Big Brother Obsessive", who is usually either an archetypical computer geek or some trendy, pierced, never-had-a-bath student sort.
I prefer 'Big Brother's Big Mouth' to the "fanzine show" 'Big Brothers Little Brother' for one reason only, Russell Brand. This man is so loud, irritating & obnoxious, he actually starts to become very entertaining once you get used to him, whereas, as pleasant as Dermot O'Leary is on 'BBLB', you kind of get the feeling he takes everything just a tiny bit too seriously (I mean, it's just a bunch of gits in a house, after all!), whereas Brand depreciates both himself & the BB phenomenon in the way it should be done.
Brand is the ringmaster of a circus of ordinary folk trying to shout over one another to get their views about BB heard. The toothy presenter is often seen to (half-heartedly) scold any audience member who attempts to argue with anyone else, or who tries to vent their spleen for more than about 10 seconds. Other highlights of 'BBBM' include the Mouthpiece, where viewers at home can listen to some of the things they've called into Channel 4 to say about BB, previews of forthcoming BB highlight shows, & a text-message poll done for fun which asks such posing questions as: "Who's the biggest crybaby in the house?" or "Who has the best catchphrase?" I've never been a massive Big Brother fan until the last series, then I got into quite a lot due to the insane mixture of housemates. As long as the whole BB craze is not taken seriously (as it often is by all the tabloids & gossip mags), then 'Big Brother's Big Mouth' is the ideal half-hour verbal free-for-all to get you in the mood for what the majority of us want to see: the late-night highlights. Also, I hope to see Russell Brand on more shows this year, if TV producers continue to let him be a hyper-active buffoon, he could become one of the greatest television personalities of modern times!
Gillette Soccer Saturday (1997)
Kicks 'Final Score' & 'The Goal Rush' into touch!
Sky Sports more often than not have to be commended for their professional, if a tad heavy-handed, sports coverage (except during this years European Football Championship; the arrogant gits believed that, as they didn't have the rights to any matches, we'd actually want to see Richard Keys & Andy Gray standing outside the stadium in Lisbon droning on for an hour). The Rupert Murdoch-owned station is especially proud of it's Premiership coverage, but for me, the jewel in Sky Sports crown is 'Soccer Saturday', which doesn't even show any actual football! (save for perhaps a few highlights at the end)
The main person that makes this show so great is main anchor Jeff Stelling. A consummate pro, but with a dry sense of humour, Stelling can be hilarious both intentionally & unintentionally. In all honesty, he's so good he deserves to be on terrestrial TV, as he truly puts (the now-retired) Des Lynam in the shade as someone who lost interest in doing a decent job after he left the BBC, & makes Gary Lineker look like a jug-eared plonker who's only good at flogging potato crisps.
The other analysts are mostly a fine bunch aswell. Chris Kamara should have his own show, he's great fun. Rodney Marsh is the "Controversial One", interrupting Jeff Stelling with frequent cries & yelps. However, I don't agree with Sky's decision to occasionally employ George Best as a panelist; the ex-Manchester United legend is an admitted alcoholic & wife-beater, yet Sky continue to pay him & give him airtime when someone like Best should really be locked up in some rehab clinic for the next 5 years. Even Besty doesn't avoid Stelling's caustic wit: after Best had a couple thousand pounds stole from him by some prostitutes last year, King Jeff opened an edition of 'Soccer Saturday' by quipping: "George Best isn't with us today, he isn't feeling two grand..." Genius!
To recap then, for all the Premiership, Football League, Scottish (& European in midweek) results, 'Soccer Saturday' is the best of the bunch, as it gives you what you want: all the excitement of seeing the football results coming in, but unlike BBC & ITV's efforts, it is more often than not grand entertainment aswell.
Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (2004)
The Scariest Chef In The World... EVER!
Only weeks before the more mainstream 'Hell's Kitchen' came along, this one-hour, 4-part documentary series on Channel 4 was a real unexpected treat for viewers, particularly for jaded ones such as myself, tired at the whole cringe worthy "celebrity chef" genre.
Grizzly chef Gordon Ramsey travelled around Britain, each week visiting a different restaurant that was struggling to make money, serve decent food etc. In his now-famous way, Gordon would shout, swear & threaten the incompetent chefs at the restaurants, warn the restaurant owners that they will go out of business if they don't put their foot down & try & turn their fortunes around, help out in the kitchen, & promptly criticise anyone who had the guts to disagree with him on any sort of decision he made.
Seeing Mr. Ramsay tear into young upstarts, arrogant owners & generally anyone who got in his way, made for fascinating television, but it was also pleasant to see that, more often than not, the help Gordon had provided made a lot of difference, & that the restaurant began attracting more customers & serving better food.
No doubt there will be a second series of 'Hell's Kitchen' on ITV1 next year, but I would also like to see this show recommissioned as well. Not as glamorous as seeing celebrity chefs whinge at each other in a glorified TV studio, but 'Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares' was the best cookery-related show to come out in a long, long time
SMarteenies (2002)
My daughter likes it!
'SMarteenies' is a great version of the Children's BBC art show 'SMart' especially designed to appeal to pre-schoolers. The presenters are enthusiastic enough, apart from Bizi Lizi, who has no screen presence or charisma whatsoever & acts generally like she doesn't care whether or not she's even on television.
Apart from Lizi, the other three presenters are pretty good, appealing to young children such as my 18 month-old daughter with their simple artwork, that will entertain youngsters of pre-school age. Many of the art activities would also be suitable for kids a bit older than my daughter to attempt, with minimum adult supervision. Keep up the good work, guys, but PLEASE get rid of the wet-as-a-fish Bizi Lizi for the next series!