BingBangBoom Reviews

I Against I (I) (2012)

Against Better Judgment I Saw This Movie

[1/10 · 2 February 2013]

... and I regret that decision. I was hoping that there would be something watchable, something redeemable about this movie. Truthfully it is just very boring movie.

Scenes are placed out of order. Lots of movies do that as plot divide. Except, in this movie, its nonsensical. Entire movie happens over course of one night. Not only that, but I got feeling that they used filler just to reach 84 minutes so it will be OK for cinema duration guideline. What that means is, script might have been meant for 15 minute sketch. They stretched that 15 minutes into 84 minute bore-fest.

I try to find little bit of good in everything. But I find this movie lacking at everything it tried to be. It tries to glorify murdering own parent, torture, Russian roulette, and killing people. But it does so tastelessly, stupidly, without tact or sense, and without organized time-line.

If I did not commit myself to seeing entire movie so I can give it fair review, I would not have bothered to finish watching it. As a matter of fact it took me three attempts to get through its 84 minutes as first two it was putting me to sleep.

Having endured this movie, I would have to advise others against watching it.

Recognize (2012)

This could have been good movie

[1/10 · 7 November 2012]

I decided to watch this movie because I saw trailer for it, or short piece where they basically recorded themselves filming, and it really looked that it might be worth killing couple hours on.

Well, it wasn't. In several scenes there is sound of house fire alarm, my guess is somebody was smoking behind the scenes and setting it off, there is sounds of shoes screeching on floor, there is incessant use of fade out effect, and I can honestly say that I have heard N-word more during hour or so I watched this movie (fast forwarding just to get it over with started about 50 min it) than in rest of my life combined.

Killings are for most part very pointless, there is no sympathy for any of characters in this movie, character development is seriously lacking, acting is basically few characters repeating same few words over and over and over.

There is a scene where a guy is pretending to check electricity/lights. He can simply tell woman he needs to check upstairs. Nobody there knows who he is, and everybody would be off guard. Instead he has woman lead him to door out, then he pulls out gun. It just feels really dumb way to do it. In real life woman could have screamed, and all he would get to do is shoot her before two guys upstairs kill him.

In another scene, there is guys mother and wife. Instead of undressing wife, they start undressing his MOTHER ... one has to wonder, what is WRONG with these people? Maybe that was poor attempt at character development, guy might have fetish for older, heavy set women.

Most of action is basically one guy holding a gun pointed at people who are either begging for their life, or yelling N word at him. Then he kills them. There are no decent action scenes.

I am the 15th person that rated this movie. 14 before me rated it 1/10, as did I. It is a movie that I really feel could have been good. I think actors could act if given chance to. There is a sense of professional approach, it was just pointed in wrong direction.

If they make another movie, I would suggest going with better script, I think that is where this movie probably started to fall apart. At script.

Ninjas vs. Vampires (2010)

Low Budget is not why this movie SUCKS!

[1/10 · 24 October 2012]

I was just going to rate this a 1 and move on, without wasting my time on review, but then I noticed there was a review that gave this trash a 10. So here we go.

I actually watched about 15 minutes before starting to fast forward at 2x, then 4x and finally 8x. I dig Ninjas, I dig Vampires, I don't dig bad camera angles and shaky action scenes.

Writing is bad. So bad, I was catching myself looking out the window, watching grass grow, instead of watching the movie.

Acting is bad.If story was good, or lines well written, I could overlook it. As it is, acting is bad, and there is no reason to watch it.

Directing is bad.I have seen student movies done better.

OK, I wasted enough of my time on this review I didn't want to write in first place.

Don't see this movie, its a waste of time. You can thank that 10 rating review that motivated me to take 5 minutes to write this in hopes of saving some poor sucker from falling for it.

Archer (2009–2023)

Simply The Best Cartoon Ever Made

[10/10 · 23 October 2012]

A Perfect 10.

There is nothing I would change about this cartoon.

Jon H. Benjamin has a perfect voice for Archer.

Anybody who did not give this show a 10 is picking at straws. If there is one cartoon ever made that deserves perfect 10 rating on IMDb its THIS one.

The only fault I find with it, is that episodes are TOO SHORT! I cant get enough of Archer!

There should be Archer The Movie, Archer The Video Game, Archer's Lana Lingerie Line from Victoria's Secret, Archer The Comic, followed by Graphic Novels, and regular novels ...

Give me much more Archer!

Killing Zoe (1993)

One of best ways to kill 90 minutes of your life

[10/10 · 22 October 2012]

This movie is exceptional. In same way Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction are. Story is well thought out, down to the point, not all characters are fleshed out (Reservoir Dogs does fleshing out much better), but they are not meant to be for reasons that become obvious once you watch the movie.

Acting is superb. Casting is great. Story is believable. Ending is perhaps predictable (or I saw too many movies, perhaps both), but it is fitting. There should be lot more movies like this one. A rare gem!

This movie had rating of 6.4, I gave it a 10. I don't really understand why would anybody give it less than 8. If you are not into genre, don't watch the movie, or at least don't rate it down for all the wrong reasons. I rate movies either 1 or 10 for very simple reason. All the other numbers are meaningless. I either recommend you see a movie, or advise you to stay away as when compared to other movies of its type falls too short to bother with. I neither rate, not review average movies.

Branded (2012)

Dumbest Movie of 2012 So Far

[1/10 · 20 October 2012]

One of the other reviews said "The movie comes a bit slow but after 10 minutes it delivers its purpose and keeps you watching tensed until the last second!"

I will have to disagree and state that other than first 10 minutes which appear to be going somewhere, rest of movie is total garbage and not only does it not keep me watching, but it makes me start wandering what exact type of narcotic was Aleksandr Dulerayn on when he made this.

If you want to learn how to underuse a Legend of an actor, this movie will show it to you. I feel sorry for Max for his having taken part of this fiasco.

This movie is so bad I do not even need to use spoilers to explain how bad it really is.

There is nothing to spoil. Story is stupid and you will see point of entire movie by 20 minutes in or so. Boo Hoo, Advertising is bad. What they should have done is read ads in 1940's and 1950's comic books. Now, THAT was advertising without scruples. Today? Meh, todays advertising is too mellow and almost honest.

If you want to see what waste of money looks like, go see this crap, if not, I'm sure you can find better things to do with your time.

I Spill Your Guts (2012)

This Movie Is Worst Thing I Wasted My Life On, EVER!

[1/10 · 10 October 2012]

10 minutes of Miriam Webster Dictionary Definitions is by far crappiest intro I ever actually watched.

Guy cant speak? So what? Cant he WRITE. Well, writer of this crap sure cant, but rather than murderous spree of pointless underdeveloped characters wasn't it easier to just WRITE "Hey, that guy lied, I'm the real hero, blah, blah ..."

Music is total POC crap by tone-deaf "bands".

Giving me back my money for this movie wouldn't even begin to make me whole, I want time I wasted skipping through this back as well.

This movie is not just low budget. Its waste of time, money and people who cant act.

God Bless Fast Forward 8x.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Worst Ridley Scott Movie Ever or Christian Propaganda?

[1/10 · 15 September 2012]

SPOILERS!!! I checked the mark for SPOILER, but mentioning it once again, because I would HATE if I accidentally read spoiler before seeing the movie. Read this AFTER you watch this movie.

Was this movie funded by Christian Organization of some sort? Or did Ridley go nuts in his old age? As SF, this is terrible movie, there is little to no actual science in it.

So what is there lot of in this movie?

Christianity and references to God.

"Scientists" in this movie seem to not have a clue about most basic scientific methods, or they were all high and drunk and pretending to be fraternity members that find safety measures are just for wimps.

In one scene, everybody except one person wants to let obvious case of severely contaminated person suffering from unknown alien infection back on board the ship. That is not even remotely plausible. Human instinct is to destroy what they fear. There is no way that many people would willingly risk infection and personal harm to ... well, I don't even know WHAT they could possibly even THINK they could do to help the infected.

Metal cant survive in that good condition for 2000 years. Not in middle of nowhere, on planet with nobody around to take care of it. Corpses do not stick around for 2000 years in humid environment. If they made it all encased in ice, or something else creative, whether or not it was plausible it might be OK to suspend disbelief and enjoy it, but there is no way this movie should be considered SCIENCE FICTION, as I can't imagine even in wildest stretch of imagination most of "science" functioning as this movie implies.

I had hard time believing guy that did Blade Runner also did this POC, then again look at where George Lucas went to, all his recent movies are total trash.

Movie is still watchable, if nothing else for nice set (inside of space ship), behinds of Charlize Theron and Noomi Rapace, and very minor although expected, still cool, plot twist in final third of the movie (yeah, I marked spoiler, but just in case you didn't listen, I don't want to ruin possibly only cool moment in entire movie, hint "what happens when we make actual alien contact and can TALK to them").

Four Assassins (2011)

Too slow

[1/10 · 15 September 2012]

First 10 minutes gave me hope that it might get good, but it didn't. There is very little action, lots of pointless talking. It feels like this entire movie could have been a very short story, or a monologue.

Reason I started watching it in the first place is because it has several actors which I normally like. Acting is OK, problem is that situations are not believable, but rather pointless, and I was not made to care for any of characters.

I cant even recommend this movie as something to watch when you have nothing better to do. Instead, go outside, sit on grass, watch grass grow and meditate. Whatever you think about during it will be very likely more entertaining than this movie.

Guild Wars 2 (2012 Video Game)

One step forward, 10 steps back

[1/10 · 11 September 2012]

1) Graphics are horrible. We are in 2012, it should not be too much to expect MMO that demands decently built PC to run. Instead what was supposed to be greatest next MMO, ... Orcs Must Die 2 has superior graphics, and that game has very, very simple graphics. GW2 looks about as bad as Aion and Tera.

2) Game mechanics are "push 1, 2, 3, 4" I'm sure some people love mindless pressing of buttons in sequence, but I do not. Obviously it makes it easy for everybody to play, but it also makes it extremely boring as well. Yes, some people don't find it boring, and they play EQ (the first one), or WOW for decade, but those people are more an exception than rule. Most of us move on when novelty wears off.

3) It doesn't even come near justifying hype that got built up around it. Comparable to Starcraft 2. Everybody you talk to saying "oh, yeah, it will reinvent gaming, blah, blah". Well, it did nothing of the sort. Few scripted events that sub for quests, that is not innovative.

4) Plenty of paid reviews that give it great scores. Too bad that people that wrote them don't seem to be playing same game I did.

5) It just is NOT fun. I suggest you wait til it has free trial, don't waste your money like I did.

Originally I intended to write 10 points, but lets just be honest here, this game is not worth wasting that much time on it.

Code 207 (2011)

This movie sucks!

[1/10 · 10 September 2012]

Acting is below B grade, and I was actually trying to decide if movie is worse due to bad writing or bad directing, then I checked here and saw both were done by same guy. Stop making movies Tino, go do something productive with your life!

As a matter of fact, the way one scene involving PTSD portrays it is flat out insulting. Its like person that wrote this horrible waste of time didn't even bother to read Wiki entries on topics he wrote about. Its THAT bad.

If you want to see good movies about topic this movie tries (and miserably fails) to tackle, see Trade with Kevin Kline or Taken with Liam Neeson.

Citizen Gangster (2011)

Nothing to do with real Edwin Boyd

[1/10 · 21 August 2012]

First 10 minutes or so is OK, then movie turns into melodrama. Quite frankly Edwin Boyd is probably flipping in his grave at how stupid this movie is. Either way, story has nothing at all to do with reality of one of Canada's best known bank robbers. Watch the movie, then go read wikipedia entry on him.

I expected either mostly accurate portrayal of Edwin Boyd's life as bank robber, or decent story, this movie is neither.

If they released this as TV movie, without connecting it to a real person, perhaps it would have been passable movie, maybe 5/10, but when you expect to see movie about killer shark, and instead you wind up watching kid and a dolphin for 2 hours, waiting on killer shark to kill them both, and that shark never appears in entire movie, ... well, you see where this is going.