danteism Reviews

Morbius (2022)

Worth a watch and better than the current rating would have you believe.

[6/10 · 1 April 2022]

Granted, I only rated it a 6.

If I was allowed to use decimals, I would have given a 6.4 and I have pretty demanding standards for what I want out of any given film depending on the genre. No fanboy apologist or hater here either. I love the best of the Marvel and DC films, as well as serious dramas, arthouse, foreign films, select horror and more.

Given the dismal reviews here and from critics we went in with very low expectations and were pleasantly surprised!

While it's nowhere near the high bar that has been set in recent years by other comic adaptations it's not even the worst Marvel movie in recent years. One of those in my party said they liked it better than Eternals, and I think it's markedly better than the Edward Norton Hulk, the first Thor film, the first Suicide Squad, the theatrical Justice League, and X-Men Age of Apocalypse / Dark Phoenix as well.

Even marginally better than both Venom films in my opinion.

That's not to say it's great, but it had enough fun moments and redeeming qualities to make it worth a watch.

Apart from the first action scene which was solid, most of the rest were not particularly thrilling.

Jared Leto was solid enough and Matt Smith was great.

Plot was a bit thin, dialogue was proficient, and pacing was good.

Special effects were good, general tone and atmosphere was well done, and the styling of Morbius' monstrous side was perfect.

If the trailer held any appeal whatsoever and you go in with very measured expectations there's more to enjoy here than the current ratings would suggest.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

Better than the first two sequels.

[7/10 · 29 December 2021]

Pretty shocked by the very low rating. Yes, it pales compared to the original, but it's actually a step up from the second and third movies.

If you're someone that found Reloaded and Revolutions disappointing and go in with measured expectations, this is definitely worth seeing on a big screen.

Bad Boys for Life (2020)

Even going in with low expectations I almost left the theater it was so disappointing.

[4/10 · 19 January 2020]

Will Smith fan. Wasn't looking for anything other than a big dumb silly action flick and it didn't even deliver that. It's been years since I've been so baffled by a movie this bad getting generally positive reviews.

Martin Lawrence was painful to watch. The dialogue was wooden and 90% of the jokes didn't land. Even in a packed theater on Saturday night there were maybe 10 times that got chuckles and only 2 or 3 solid laughs.

Apart from a few highlights scattered throughout even the action scenes were dull.

It's been ages since I considered walking out of a movie, and I would have if anything else was still playing in the cineplex I saw it, but unfortunately it was a late show so I stuck it out.

As a counterpoint, one of the two girls I took to the movie enjoyed it, the other hated it even more than I did. That's the only reason I gave it four stars, rounding up from the 33% of our party. Left to my own subjective opinion, it would have been 1.5-2.5 stars at best.

Joker (I) (2019)

Uncomfortable, grueling, slow, brooding near masterpiece!

[8/10 · 4 October 2019]

While it would have benefited from about 15 minutes of additional judicious editing, and has a tonal misstep at a critical moment in the final act, this is still a courageous must watch film for anyone that found the trailer compelling.

If you're wanting an action film, you'll be disappointed.

If you're a big DCEU fan you'll likely be disappointed.

That said this dark, plodding, disturbing, character study fully delivers on the grisly promise laid out in the trailer.

Phoenix is guaranteed an Oscar nomination, and deservedly so. Easily the most daring DC comic adaptation to date.

Definitely not a crowd pleaser or easy watch, and a better fit for fans of Lars Von Trier, Yorgos Lanthimos, and Ari Aster than those of Zach Snyder and the DCEU.

If the above gives you pause, you've been warned. If it actually makes you more piqued then this entirely singular entry in the genre will deliver in spades,

Black Panther (2018)

Easily the best MCU since the original Iron Man and the first Avengers film!

[9/10 · 17 February 2018]

For anyone wondering about the disparity between the 100% positive critics reviews on RottenTomatoes and the not quite as universally high ratings here do yourself and Google "Anti Black Panther Campaign".

Putting aside all that nonsense Black Panther is simply a FANTASTIC piece of entertainment from start to finish.

I've seen every single MCU film to date and this one stands with the very very best of them. For a while now the MCU films have been starting to get into a bit of a formulaic rut. At worst they're always at least entertaining but Black Panther is a true return to form with exactly the right mix of humor, action, drama, style and sheer wow factor.

Do not let anyone convince you that the film is preachy or over the top with political soapboxing. That's simply not the case. The themes explored here are UNIVERSAL and could have been applied to virtually any culture, while at the same time the incredible costuming, soundtrack, and art direction tapped deeply into dozens of African cultures to create a visual and stylistic tapestry that was simply breathtaking.

Even if that holds no appeal whatsoever, taken simply as a work of pure action entertainment the movie delivers by every measure. Action was fantastic, fight choreography the best since Netflix's Daredevil, and a stronger narrative arc than any MCU movie to date. The storytelling was simply superb with a clear beginning, middle, and end and rock solid character development. The writer did not fall into the recent pitfall of other MCU films of spinning out too many sub-plots or characters and instead masterfully focused on the core story at hand.

As such this may well be the best stand alone MCU film since we were first introduced to Tony Stark in Iron Man, while still fitting perfectly into the larger MCU pantheon.

Believe the hype.

Van Helsing (2016–2021)

Painfully bad.

[1 August 2016]

Being a fan of his plays I thought that perhaps with Neil Labute at the helm this would be an interesting take on the vampire genre, but alas, it's even worse than most. Stilted dialogue, cheap production values, halfway through the first episode I was already fidgeting and eager to move on to something else.

Want something better on SyFy? Watch The Expanse.

Better recent Sci-Fi in general? Check out Humans (BBC/AMC co-production).

Looking for a vampire fix? See the original UK TV show Ultraviolet, the original BBC version of Being Human, or HBO's True Blood.

Whatever you do, don't waste your time with this.

Person of Interest (2011–2016)

Absolutely Ingenious Premise Ruined With Amateur Scripting

[5/10 · 9 October 2011]

15 minutes in I thought this was going to be one of my favorite shows in years, but that enthusiasm drained with every passing minute from there until the end.

All the talent that Taraji Henson (Hustle & Flow) and Michael Emerson (LOST) bring to the table could not compensate for Caviezel's wooden stilted delivery.

Worst of all though is the writing which presumes a brain-dead audience that requires every single plot detail to be verbally spoon-fed. Even the paint by numbers procedurals like the CSI and Law & Order franchises don't feel the need to talk down to the viewers to this degree.

--- "You have no idea who these people are!"

Camera does a close up of a badge pulled from downed figure.

"I do now… cops". ---

"Character X is the only person who can tell us who is after them".

5 minutes and 3 scenes later...

"I've got a lead".

"It had better be on Character X because he's the only person that can tell us who is after them". ---

I can't even count the number of times that this show was guilty of exactly the same thing, needing to MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE that the viewer didn't lose track of what is happening, even when there wasn't anything remotely obscure, complex, or unclear.

With some great actors and a clever premise I can forgive a lot. What I can't forgive is a show which insults my intelligence.

Contagion (2011)

Effective, thought provoking, and mis-marketed.

[7/10 · 11 September 2011]

Not much to say that hasn't been already… the critics are right, it is an effective slick movie that may be a bit slight as far as character development but doesn't suffer too badly for it. This is a movie far more about ideas than people and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Excellent direction from Soderbergh, masterful cinematography, and while there are a few logical mis-steps, the writing more than makes up for that by confounding expectations more than once in truly creative and credible ways.

Unfortunately trailers have many seeking an action thrill-ride, when what it delivers for the most part is a slow boiling suspenseful drama. When will Hollywood learn that setting expectations that don't match the product may sell a few extra tickets in the beginning, but hurts word of mouth and user reviews which are needed for the success of a film beyond the opening weekend.

S&M Judge (2009)

Refreshingly Authentic Look At A Real World BDSM Relationship

[8/10 · 10 July 2010]

For those without a particular interest in the subject matter, the movie is deserving of perhaps a 6.5/10.

On the other hand it is exceptional with regards to it's treatment of S&M within the context of a genuinely loving relationship. Just about every aspect of dynamic touched upon within the film will ring true, or at the very least be recognizable to anyone that has more than a passing familiarity with BDSM.

Easily the best non-documentary film treatment of the subject to date, and I've seen many.

Not as entertaining or clever as The Secretary, but absolutely more genuine and reflective of kink in the real world overall.

The Man Who Would Be King (1975)

So Dated It Almost Plays Like An Exploitation Flick...

[3/10 · 2 June 2010]

Please do not be drawn in by the high rating and outstanding cast to waste your time with this absolutely laughable film by modern standards.

The portrayal of virtually every character in this film is so comically exaggerated it borders on b-movie exploitation and prevents the movie from ever achieving even the slightest impact dramatically.

The "action" scenes have all the power of an elementary school stage play and not one line delivered by the fine actors ever strikes a truly emotional chord in the entire film.

I love Plummer, Connery, and Caine but even their combined talent cannot help the movie find redemption with a viewer that possesses remotely modern sensibilities.

It simply cannot hold up as a "classic" the way even far older films like Casablanca, Sunset Blvd., or those by Sergio Leone, Hitchcock, Welles, Lumet, etc. all can and do.

When I think about the fact that this was made 3 years AFTER The Godfather, and the very same year as One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, I am actually downright embarrassed for everyone that participated in the making of this.

Killshot (2008)

Far more worthy of your time than countless other wide releases of the last year.

[7/10 · 25 March 2009]

I think it's a terrific shame that this movie never saw a wider release when it was at least as good, and in some cases MUCH better than, all of the following action films released in the last 12 months:

Shoot 'Em Up

Body of Lies

Rambo

Pride and Glory

Righteous Kill

Jump

Taken

It's by no means a "must-see" film, but even so, it is still a solid, entertaining, and well paced action/thriller/drama.

Well directed, well acted, and well scripted, it definitely deserved more than the practically non-existent distribution it received.

While it is certainly not half the role that Rourke had to work with in The Wrestler, his part was still well played and had gravitas despite his mediocre Native American accent.

Diane Lane was good as always.

Thomas Jane was a pleasant surprise. I expect to see more of him in years to come.

Meanwhile Joseph Gordon-Levitt was absolutely transcendent in his portrayal of an insecure white trash sociopath gone wildly off the rails. With the right casting I have little doubt he has many awards waiting for him down the road.

Despite a few minor flaws, this is absolutely worth a watch if you enjoy gritty action movies that don't insult your intelligence, and rely more on character development than CGI.

Chocolat (1988)

Waste of time and rental!

[1/10 · 8 November 2005]

I am astounded at the positive reviews for this thoroughly uninspiring film.

Often with foreign films I skip over reviews that complain about slow pace and seeming "absence of action" as many of the best international films do not live up to the Western Hollywood model of cinematic storytelling.

I enjoy the frequent artfulness and lack of cliché in the foreign film arena. I enjoy that many foreign films don't tie things up in a neat palatable little bow.

That said, this particular film offered no redemptive value for the time I wasted watching it. No meaningful character development, no engaging story arc, no way to get emotionally involved with any of the characters on screen.

Synopsis: A bunch of emotionally immature uptight prejudiced colonials mistreat their slaves, and a little girl gets hurt by her only friend when the "house-boy" finally gets fed up and takes his abuse out on her.

While the above paragraph is poignant and dramatic, this movie will bore you while playing out the scenario. I was so unengaged that it took three sittings to finish it, and I wouldn't have even done that were it not for the positive ratings.

Unless you have an academic interest in the period I strongly suggest steering clear of this one.