flotime Reviews

Uncharted (2022)

Wow. That was bad

[2/10 · 7 August 2022]

I would have rather watched 2 hours of cut scenes from the games. This felt like it was written by the writers of Twilight. This is some kind of weird romance, teenage comedy that attempts to be an acrion adventure.

And tom hollins is not the guy for this. Is he 15? Nathan Drake looked mid to late 20s with a 5 o'clock shadow. I feel like they missed the audience on this one. Just because it's a video game doesn't mean it's for small children. So far this was the biggest adventure flop of '22. The Sandra Bullock movie was better.

Doom Patrol (2019–2023)

It's So Bad

[2/10 · 27 March 2022]

3 seasons of whining about how bad they have it. Flashbacks galore before the narrator talks about how much whining and flashbacks there have been while setting up more whining and flashbacks. Season two, more whining with less flashbacks. It's hard to watch. If you're into watching the back story of like 8 or 9 different mutants whine about their lives then jump right in. That's all this series is. The same hangups they cry about in season 1 they still cried about in season 3. I was disappointed.

Peaky Blinders (2013–2022)

Entertaining

[4/10 · 3 July 2021]

It's a story about how stupid Irish gangsters were in England back in the day. Always a step behind chasing their tails and playing catch up while you laugh at the predictably.

Blithe Spirit (2020)

Bad Break-Up

[3/10 · 4 February 2021]

Did you just have a guy leave ypu and you're mad? If so enjoy, otherwise steer clear. This movie is nothing more than a "I hate men" film. I almost thought about laughing. It's a dumb ass remake and it wasn't even entertaining.

Space Force (2020–2022)

Too Dumb to Be Funny

[2/10 · 1 June 2020]

The title says it all. It's dumb. I feel like I'm watching something written by children. The jokes are... Wait there aren't any. Without John Malkovich this show would be unwatchable. It seems like his role was the only one written by someone over 4.

Iron Fist (2017–2018)

What a shame

[3/10 · 21 March 2017]

Really disappointing. The acting was terrible and the lead character has to be the dumbest guy on the planet. It took almost 6 episodes before there was any action and the first 4 episodes showed the same ridiculous flash back over and over. So by episode 7 there was a little action before we're back to the very lacking and boring story line of a lost child trapped in a young man's body feeling guilty for who cares why. I stuck with it so my daughter and I could talk about it. I think they should pull out the mild sex scene and rate it TV-14 because it's clearly a show for teenagers. What a waste of time.

There are good marvel shows on Netflix and this is NOT one of them. Daredevil really set the tone for me. This was a fail on so many levels. I think a more appropriate name would be Iron Vagina.

With that said the few action scenes were OK. The actual fighting was not well put together and looked staged. In this day and age with such fantastic fight choreography I was really disappointed. Telegraphed punches with guys just waiting to be hit. Slow movement and obvious amateur actors were killers for me. I didn't expect a top notch Kung Fu production but this feel short of even my lacking expectations. Had Jessica Henwick not stared in this I would have turned it off after episode 4.

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Pretty Alright!

[7/10 · 7 December 2016]

Some people look for the next Oscar winner. I look for entertainment. This is a very entertaining movie. My 15 year old daughter, who enjoys what most 15 year old girls like, watched this from start to finish and liked it (probably Chris Pratt). I'm not big on remakes but this one is pretty alright. There are people that complain that the movie is predictable and I say to them, it's a remake. So take it for what it's worth.

This is an excellent remake of a really great movie with great actors. It follows along the original with a better pace and some character differences. I like the idea more than the original because it's not seven white guys. They mixed it up with a native, Mexican, some white guys, and Denzel (of course) that are all tough guys with a skill for killing tougher guys. So in a nut shell, a town is in danger from some bad guys. The town gets some of their own bad guys to help out. Number one being Sam (Denzel) a kind of "bounty hunter" that starts pulling together a posse. None of them are really doing it for money but they all have their reasons. All of them lethal.

The cast is great. The film lays out the characters quickly, the action kicks off instantly, and the pace continues. If you enjoy westerns with good bad guys and better bad asses then you will enjoy this film. No attempt to change the story and wow you. The wow is how well the director and new cast did justice to a great movie with an equal quality cast of its time. No doubt Steve McQueen, Yul Brynner, James Coburn, and Charlie Bronson would all enjoy this.

Whiplash (2014)

You'll hate him. Then you'll love him

[9/10 · 15 January 2015]

What a fantastic movie. Whether you love Jazz or not, it's brilliant. The two main characters will draw you in from the start. You will undoubtedly root for Miles Teller's character (the aspiring musician) and despise J. K. Simmons' (the villainous music professor). By the end of the film you'll love them both. J. K. Simmons does a fantastic job as the music composer/instructor pushing his musicians to the the limits of their talents. Albeit a quite unorthodox method.

With today's films being mostly poorly written action films, horror movies, and rewritten tales from the past it is refreshing to watch something that draws you into the story. Any time you can watch a film; be emotionally and excitedly pulled down the path, the actors are doing what few can do. Don't miss this. It is one you'll tell your friends about.

Tusk (I) (2014)

Didn't think Kevin Smith had it in him

[1/10 · 4 December 2014]

What can I say except it was a vast disappointment and that seems like an understatement. It starts out great and really draws you in. The characters are good and enjoyable. Then the second half of the movie reveals what's in store and I lost all interest in the movie. I stuck it out against my better judgment only to eventually question my judgment.

You can read the plot line and the other reviews and get an idea what the movie was about so I'm not going to go on about it. One reviewer said it best when he compared this to Human Centipede. Don't say you were not warned.