glgabrielsen Reviews

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Well that was horrible

[2/10 · 8 December 2023]

I love disaster and end of the world movies. I thought I would love this. But then the cast is terrible, either obnoxious or plain stupid. Everybody says and does the wrong thing, every time. Of course race baiting. More and more race baiting. No American production without race baiting. And what exactly is the plot here? Everyone speaks.so.slowly. No one has any credible emotions. It's so dull. It's so tedious. After one hour I felt nothing for the movie or the people. I could not care less. Environment? Terrorism? Or it's the race thing, again? I'm sorry for anyone who started watching this. For the rest of you - don't.

Christmas Wedding Planner (2017 TV Movie)

As horrible as I hoped it would be

[2/10 · 25 November 2023]

The male lead was so anti-charismatic I hoped the very worst for him. The lead female was actually very cute but the entire movie is total trash, so I guess that was it for her career, poor thing. I'm not sure I liked any of the characters in the movie, they were one-dimensional, dull and anti-charming. As bad as the movie was, the last 10 minutes were truly abhorrent. Out of nowhere comes this preganant maid, the wedding planner gets proposed to by the dullard Private Investigator, she literally hijacks the wedding ceremony, and we get a slow-mo of the bouquet being thrown straight at the disgraced bride with her mother looking rather mentally challenged, such a beautiful moment for all.

All the Light We Cannot See (2023)

Farcical nazis

[3/10 · 13 November 2023]

It could have been good, but they chose to make it utterly ridiculous. Every single uniformed German is sinister, evil, cruel and one-dimensional. The most evil of them all picked up the "I am smacking my lips while eating"-routine from Christopher Waltz in Inglorious Basterds. Okay, so the nun and the "children", amazingly adult in all ways, are sympathetic. But the rest... of course there is one with a couple of German Shephards. They all have shiny cars. They all shout and threaten. They only smile wickedly.

And the blind girl... So cute, and what a delight the young version is. But the adult one, broadcasting in some miraculous way strong signals, but withouth an antenna or amplifier? Droning about her childhood memories with her father. While the villagers are being bumped up left and right for not denouncing her, but hey, radio, fun, right?

I give this three stars as they put quite a lot of effort in the scenery. But mostly, a farce. I thought they quit making them like this in the 1960s (and no, I am not German).

All Quiet on the Western Front (2022)

The most hellish and realistic depiction of war I ever saw

[10/10 · 17 December 2022]

This movie was so horrible that I was not able to see it in one go. The horrors never stopped coming. As a career soldier, I have never seen a war movie made more realistic than this one. Just the sheer amount of mud, and how the soldiers get dirty and wet and there is nothing to do about it. The friendship of the soldiers, the small glimmers of happiness, the boredom and the conversations. And the senseless, senseless slaughter. We sympathize with them all, and we cry in desperation and hopelesness how their lives are wasted. In their millions.

The first scene was genius, by the way. The journet of a soldiers tunic, from the dead body of the first owner, via the laundry and seamstress and so to be reissued to a new, starry-eyed recruit.

Death on the Nile (2022)

So annoyed after watching this

[3/10 · 25 October 2022]

Why? Why remake a classic when you don't understand movie-making? I have been looking for the classic one, that I haven't seen for a couple of decades, and only found the Kenneth Branagh one. I should have guessed. All packaging, no substance. I couldn't care less for any of the characters. And of course, Branagh putting himself as the Clever Guy. With a DOUBLE MOUSTACHE. What even is that? How can a story like this be made so un-exciting? How much money did this cost to make? Ok, I still need to type another 90 characters before I can post this, so I guess I will remind myself to stop watching remakes of classics.

Bullet Train (2022)

Trying to hard to be Guy Ritchie

[5/10 · 23 September 2022]

This movie probably seems really slick and smart for someone who hasn't seen Lock, Stock and two smoking barbells and Snatch. I have, and therefore Bullet Train mostly reminded me of a decent, but neither original or very good copy. Extremely noisy, very brutal, the usual national stereotypes thrown in, and of course the mandatory cockney bandits. Soooooo old.

And it lasted far too long. Coyld have knocked off half an hour, and the film would have been all the better. Then, once again, mandatory "surprising" ending and people returning from the dead. And so very, very loud. Most of all I'm annoyed they didn't try harder to conceal how unoriginal they were.

Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Mormon Advantage (2021) Season 11, Episode 10

Multi-layered comedy

[10/10 · 24 February 2022]

First of all, I'm not American. I don't care for neither of the political parties there and am horrified by the partisanship in the USA. However, i loved this episode, and how so many elements where brought together. And how can anyone criticize LD for being "too political" in an episode where he literally steals the shoes of a Holocaust victim just because he needed some shoes because it was raining? And Tracy Ullman!!

Babylon Berlin (2017– )

The best series I've seen

[10/10 · 13 December 2021]

I'm a difficult customer, especially when it comes to historical series. Very little throws me off. One inaccurate scene, ridiculous decisions, unnatural dialogue. But Babylon Berling... Almost through the second season and I'm speechless. The threads and storyline are still being presented, it's never dull, never predictable. The actors are absolutely marvelous, they are whom they pretend to be. The music, the scenery, the attention to small details. This is magnificent!

The Forgotten Battle (2020)

One of the best WW2-movies I ever saw

[9/10 · 30 October 2021]

As a career military officer, as a military history student, as a family man, I just have to salute this movie. The grit, the exhaustion, the confusion, the chaos. And the humanity, the humanizing of everyone involved. They all were thrown into this, all with their parts to play. Not because they wanted to, but history put them there. No smart comments, no stupid love stories, no knights in shining armor. Just the bleak, horrific war, and what war does to people. A magnificent and sobering movie. Tonight I raise my glass and salute all you unfortunate souls caught in a war you should never have had to fight.

Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021 TV Special)

Quite ok and tedious

[5/10 · 13 October 2021]

Not very funny, but that's okay because the hysterical stand up comedians are rarely funny. However, this combines the two most annoying elements I can imagine in this genre: an American audience that cheers d'or literally anything. Cities mentioned? That he makes money? That he did something nice once? Cheers and shouts for all of that! Second of all: an American afro-américain believing the only struggle anyone ever had were American afro-américains.

We get it. You know your history, and nobody else's.

Except for that, it was quite alright. Won't remember it, however.

How to Become a Tyrant (2021)

A different approach

[7/10 · 28 July 2021]

I have read a lot of history on WW2, and I'm particular Stalin and Hitler. I work professionally with security policy, which means working on tyrants is something I do a lot.

There's a lot of criticism here over Mao and Pol Pot being omitted. Obviously a very valid point. Millions were murdered on the orders of these tyrants. Furthermore, simplifications and selective presentations. Yes, a series on Stalin alone would have required tens or hundreds of hours. But this series doesn't offer a full psychological portrait of anyone, rather using their "merits" as illustrations.

However, what I actually did enjoy, was the breakdown of the various elements needed to become, and remain, a tyrant. In many cases, the master plan might not have been so sinister and well through through. However, these were still the results.

It was a novel way of presenting the Master Plan, and certainly also very recognizable for any history buff.

Lastly, I was surprised to find that a Peter Dinklage has such a perfect narrator voice.

Lady Dynamite (2016–2017)

I have never seen anything like this

[9/10 · 1 June 2021]

Some times I disparage over formulaic American tv-shows. But along comes Lady Dynamite, and I find myself jaw-dropped and gut-punched and at a total loss. You never, never, know what to expect. And I am not talking only about the talking racoons. The travels back and forth in time? Sometimes I can't even understand if they do travel in time. It's so confusing some of the time.

But oh my, the cast. These two friends of Maria, I wish my friends were like that. Horrible as they are in many ways. And the well-doers around her, all by the name of Karen Grisham. And the Burt the manager. And ALL of them.

I can't watch this with anything going on around me. I need to focus 100%. If I go to the kitchen sink for a glass of water, I stop the show. I have to get it all, or I know I will lose vital information. It's so hilarious, and then very poignant and tragic. One of the richest and most demanding series I have ever seen.

As for Maria Bamford - is this the real she? *Is* there i real Maria Bamford?

(The reason I deduct one star is that sometimes it just shoots over my head. It might easily be because I didn't concentrate or am just a bit too stupid.).

In My Skin (2018– )

Dark, sincere, real

[10/10 · 17 May 2021]

I don't really know where to begin, here. The actors are brilliantly cast. All of them. And they all stand out with a credible personality, the students, parents, teachers, the Chippy guy...

Bethan has a harder time than most in her extremely dysfunctional home, but still manages to find the inner strength to survive. Going through all the relatable conflicts and good times in and outside of school, she balances ever so narrowly without plunging into the abyss. It's dark, but it is beautiful, it is ever so relatable, and I recommend it as one of the must-sees. If you are young, or you have young ones living at home, or you need a reminder what being young is like - watch it.

I haven't seen a lot of Welsh series, so I did need the occasional subtitle support, but the accent really has a beautiful melody to it. Now I want to visit the country!

Shtisel: Where Does Everyone Suddenly Go? (2021) Season 3, Episode 9

A fitting finale

[10/10 · 15 April 2021]

I wasn't aware I had already come to the last episode, so it was a bit of a surprise when I realized. But the end couldn't have been made better. So much came together in those very last scenes, and made a huge impact. This would constitute an end to the old, but also a beginning to the new. And why did she look straight at us, there at the end? It really felt like I was there... I really want it to continue, but at the same time I don't want the power of the finale to be diluted by more episodes.

Shtisel (2013–2021)

Slowest tv there is. May it never be speeded up.

[10/10 · 5 April 2021]

This is like, and as good as, Sopranos.

Minus the cursing and profanities.

Minus the killing and violence.

Minus the drugs, save some low quality cigarettes and funny-looking yellowish wine.

Obviously no sex or nudity.

I don't know what it is with this series. All of the characters annoy me to some degree. It's so slow my mother stopped watching after 20 minutes because it's that slow.

And yet.

When the third series was launched, during corona, I was so happy. It's like meeting old family again. I know I won't be frightened or sick from the imagery. It's just totally zen. Akiva, this confused and complicated artist, making life hard for everyone - and us viewers in particular.

I hope they never stop making this series.

Burn After Reading (2008)

The funniest Cohen ever did

[10/10 · 28 March 2021]

I return to this movie again and again. Knowing a bit a out the world they are portraying, I find several of the characters entirely relatable, but the sheer absurdity and the intertwining and totay moronic agrndaes of the entire cast makes it unforgettable. Malkovich's recurring rage attacks are wonderful, and dialogues I repeat to myself in many dull moments. I absolutely love this movie.

Man Down (2013–2017)

At times hysterical

[9/10 · 14 March 2021]

I have got to say, I was blown away by this series. The cast is just as crazily wonderful as one could hope for. They are all my perfectly casted, but maybe his dad the most. It can be a bit much at times, some of the most intense scenes could have been turned down a notch, perhaps. At the same time, so many scenes are unforgettable.

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021)

This was made worse than necessary

[4/10 · 13 February 2021]

I remember the case from back when it happened, so was curious about the "whole story". Which really was a tragic story of mental illness, but juiced for 5 whole episodes where one sinister and outlandish theory after the next was launched by "youtube sleuths". My goodness, if I ever get murdered, I certainly hope none of these amateurs will look into my case. Were they able at all to even uncover one actual fact? But sitting pompous in their recliners at home while churning out imbecile accusations was easy for them

The only reason I give this program 4 stars, is because of the historical presentation of Skid Row. This was all new to me, and I found it of interest. But the rest of the series - utter garbage.

The Dig (2021)

A wonderful film

[8/10 · 30 January 2021]

I really needed this. A low-key, quiet story with likable characters, all centered around excavations of some ancient burial mounds. In pre-WW2 Britain. I mean, the baddest guy here is an archaeologist with a bit of an ego - that's it. Does it get any more pleasant and civilized than this?

Okay, so perhaps the love stories aren't entirely accurate. I don't mind, as these, too, were nice. Let people love the ones they wish to.

I'm feeling a bit soft and mushy, and it was perhaps the time for it. On the other hand, it is a bit difficult to give this film full score, because it's not that kind of Grande movie. But as it is, it couldn't have been much better. I had a lovely and great time watching it, that's for sure.

No Man's Land (2020– )

Sometimes black and white portrayal is correct

[9/10 · 29 January 2021]

There can never be a verdict on the atrocities of IS that is harsh enough. They get away too easily in this series. But except for this, the series is great, and very believable. The actors and locations and dramaturgy are all excellent. The Kurdish fighters are truly impressive, as is substantiated by the many reports about them. It's hard to watch, though, as any trace of IS should be vanquished forever from the face of the planet.

The protagonist is boring, annoying and useless. This seems to be a pattern in a lot of series, and I have no idea why they make it this way.

Leap Year (2010)

This is a good romantic comedy!

[7/10 · 18 January 2021]

I'm a gruff kind of guy who finds romantic comedies formulaic and cheesy. I never sort of watched Pretty Woman, for goodness sake. And I'm sure the Irish hate it for all the oirishness. But as a romantic comedy, and that is what this is - not an unforgettable, epic movie, but a romantic comedy - it's pretty fine! Left me with a nice feel afterwards, I wasn't even a wee bit annoyed over inconsistencies and stereotypical characters!

The Gentlemen (2019)

Not fully satisfied

[7/10 · 13 January 2021]

I was surprised I hadn't caught on to the release of this film, as I downright adores Snatch And Lock Stock etc. Maybe the previous Guy Ritchie-films spoiled me, but there was something tepid about The Gentlemen. The soundtrack was there; the costumes, the class actors, the wit and sudden changes in the storylines. And yet... None of the elements were as solid as before. The music wasn't that great. The climactic scenes weren't that memorable. The story wasn't that intriguing. I didn't really care for anyone in the cast, except Hugh Grant. I honestly didn't know who to root for thought the entire movie, and I really like Matthew MacC a lot. And some of the scenes was plain uninteresting and without importance. Chasing the kids with the mobile phones? What was that, time filler?

Vivarium (2019)

Nightmarish and intriguing, but too long

[6/10 · 3 January 2021]

It started pretty good, and I was quickly drawn into what I knew would be the plot. However, after the first half hour it sort of wore thin, and I started skipping bits. The story was a combination of tedious and also disconcerting, and at this point I only wanted to know how it ended, as there seemingly few surprises left. Quite interesting ending, if not too surprising, as the opening of the movie had already framed the story.

Watchmen (2019)

Not Watchmen

[1/10 · 5 December 2020]

What the heck was *that*? I read the comics on the 80s, one of my favorites. Intelligent and intense story of an alternative near future/past. And this? From the first get-go we get another story about evil white people, Ku Klux clan and white supremacy. What in the world?? As if I'm not getting enough of this woke hatred in all other channels, not it's even taken over this classic cartoon? Absolutely horrible. I don't care if it's "well made", technically. I don't need more stories telling me how white people are inheritantly evil. Awful.

Valley of Tears (2020)

Historic war-realism at its most intense

[8/10 · 14 November 2020]

I'm military and have been to the Golan, and also read my bit about the war in '73. This was a chaotic war, poorly prepared for and intelligence largely ignored. More than anything, this war showed how crucial training levels and personal initiatives are. Vastly outnumbered, no strategic depth, and horribly unprepared. It shouldn't have been possible to turn that war. The series seem to catch what I can only imagine would have been a frightening battle on the brink of the abyss.