johnbamber-543-390505 Reviews

Elevator Game (2023)

It's not that bad

[6/10 · 4 November 2023]

I noticed there are quite a few bad reviews on here, but this isn't one of them. This really isn't that bad. It's not great by any means. It is slow at times, and the acting is... just... meh. That's probably the best word to describe this movie.... "Meh." It's a movie about people riding up and down in an elevator and some creepy stalker woman running after the victims and turning them into unintentional contortionists. Okay. Check it out; if you're into cheesy/bad horror movies I'd put this on the list. Maybe play an "adult beverage" game with this because it hits a lot of common bad horror tropes.

Wild Wild West (1999)

This movie really isn't as bad as people make it out to be

[7/10 · 24 October 2023]

I think this movie is, beyond anything, pure entertainment. I don't think for a moment that this is intended to be a historically-accurate archive of what happened during the life of President Truman. I think it was an idea based on something that could have happened, and then explored upon. It's meant to be entertaining with a smidge of accuracy. If I were grading this purely on accuracy or historic factor, I'd grade it lower but I'm grading it as entertainment. Sure there are some cheesy parts, but it's funny, it's silly, it's somewhat kind of historical, and that's good enough for me. It's entertaining.

ER: Freefall (2003) Season 10, Episode 8

One of my top 3

[10/10 · 27 September 2023]

This is by far one of my top 3 favorite episodes, especially because Dr Romano gets impaled by an exploding helicopter. In a word...KARMA! All of the crap that Dr Romano put everyone through, he got what he DESERVED! I'm not a sadist, but I make an exception for Robert Romano. Shame to put a perfectly good Myoelectric prosthesis to waste. I thought i hated Dr Kerry Weaver, but I truly loathed Dr Romano. I'm glad Weaver didn't have as much screen time over the last few episodes, but man I cheered out loud several times when Romano bit the dust. ER is one of my top favorite shows, with House coming in a close 2nd in terms of medical shows. Episodes like this deserve a 12/10, mainly because it finally gives the viewer EXACTLY what we want... the demise of a character that, if called a "jerk", is being too kind.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Yet another M. Night movie to make you think

[8/10 · 18 August 2023]

Say what you will about M. Night Shyamalan movies, it seems as if most of his movies have a plot twist, or give you a reason to really think after the movie ends. This is very much the case with this movie. It reminds me of Stephen King's "Storm of the Century" in that the plot is similar, but told in a different fashion here. This movie is superbly acted, beautifully shot, and extremely thought-provoking. I highly recommend it. I also really appreciate how a same-sex couple was included in the story. Their love for each other and their daughter is so pure and beautiful, which I think adds to what makes the movie all the more special.

Amber Alert (2012)

I've seen better student films

[3/10 · 8 January 2023]

It's easy to see that this movie is extremely low-budget. License plates are blurred out, phone numbers are bleeped out, it all feels extremely amateur. I've never seen a legitimate movie use bleeps and pixelated license plates. Most of the movie is spent listening to the two main characters arguing. If you love to watch people argue, this is definitely the movie for you. I could see this working well with better acting and an actual script, instead of just telling the actors to incessantly yell at each other. Listening to the abductor talking to the little girl is extremely disgusting. Honestly most of these reviews are spot on - there are far more bad aspects to this movie than good.

Over the Top (1987)

I think this movie is highly underrated

[8/10 · 5 January 2023]

This movie is unique. The plot hasn't been done before; a truck-driving father tries to reunite with his kid, but an overbearing grandfather makes this extremely difficult. In the end everyone's happy, but it's a rough road to get there. The most impressive part of this movie, for me, is the onscreen chemistry that Sylvester Stallone's character, Lincoln Hawk, has with his son Mike. They appear to have a genuine connection that really feels authentic. Combine that with an awesome 80's soundtrack, makes this movie really enjoyable and the characters are ones you can relate to. There are moments in this movie where I find myself a fan wanting the best for either Lincoln Hawk or Mike, whenever either are in a conflict. This is a truly enjoyable movie for many reasons. Check it out - I think you'll be surprised at just how underrated and good it is.

The Black Phone (2021)

I was pleasantly surprised

[8/10 · 3 January 2023]

This movie was really quite enjoyable. It would be better if we had more of an insight into who the killer is, his motives, etc. However, it's understandable why the story didn't focus on that, because it's being told from the point of view of one of the kidnapped kids. These kids didn't know anything about their kidnapper, so it makes sense that we don't either. I thought the movie would be predictable, but all of my attempted "predictions" wound up not happening, or happening differently than what I was expecting, which kept me involved. I've never seen a movie that involved a direct connection to a villain's prior victims, I think that was very original and made me even more interested in watching it. Highly recommend!

As Above, So Below (2014)

Blair Watch Project in a Tunnel

[5/10 · 31 December 2022]

Claustrophobics, don't watch this movie. Also, if you're prone to motion sickness, this flick isn't for you. It runs like a "found footage" movie, so the larger the screen you watch this on, the more unsettling the shaky camera work is, and thus you may lose your (insert last meal eaten here). This movie basically reminds me of The Blair Witch Project, but we're in France instead of the US, and they're tracking buried treasure as opposed to a mythical witch. Crazy visions, sounds, cave-ins, it's all there. I was entertained, but I was unable to make it through the whole movie because I was tired of predicting what was coming around the next corner, and being right more than half the time.

The Stay (2021)

Not that bad

[6/10 · 9 November 2022]

It's definitely not Oscar-worthy, but also not a complete stinker. I can't tell which is ranked lower, the acting or the dialogue. Sometimes the dialogue begets bad acting, or the other way around.

There were a few plot twists I predicted, but a few actually surprised me. I liked that Bo-Lee turned out to be a good guy. He was portrayed as a typical weird hillbilly type, but in the end he came to Nora's rescue.

I didn't pick up much chemistry amongst the actors, but then again that was the point of the storyline. The couples were both having rocky marriages and tried to patch this up by going on a retreat together. Good idea? I wouldn't say so.

I'd give it a watch, it's at the very least entertaining.

The Karate Kid (2010)

Same name, different story, still a shot at redemption

[8/10 · 1 November 2022]

This movie is excellent. It's not without its low points, but it clearly another chapter in the ongoing story of students learning martial arts. Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith have excellent on-screen chemistry, and you can really see both characters develop as the movie progresses.

I like that this was not a carbon copy of the original Ralph Macchio movies. This one felt like it had a lot more heart, and it really drove home the meaning of a few life lessons, namely about getting back up once you fall, and conquering your fears.

I genuinely cheered out loud when Dre won the tournament; I saw it coming since I'd seen the movie before, but it was a true redemption story. Also, the prick kid that was antagonizing him, handing him the trophy... that was a nice touch, and followed by his buddies all bowing to Jackie Chan.

Digging to Death (2021)

Surprisingly Entertaining

[6/10 · 1 November 2022]

I like movies like this; the ones that make you think about what you'd do in that same situation. Would you call and report what you found, or do what David does and lose your marbles with that dilemma.

The actor who played David really performed his descent into madness very well. He was very convincing. The other actors were descent, but not terrible.

This very much checks all the boxes for a cheesy horror movie, but also leaves a few unchecked. I didn't find the movie to be predictable, I thought the cinematography and editing was on par, and the dialogue/script was honestly not the worst.

Are there better horror movies out there? For sure. Should you skip this one? I'd say no.

Schindler's List (1993)

A Masterpiece

[10/10 · 29 October 2022]

This is a beautiful portrayal of a hideous time in history. Steven Spielberg, being the visionary that he is, was the perfect person to direct this film which, as the title implies, is a true masterpiece. The use of black-and-white film adds a layer of authenticity, but also enhances the "raw" nature of the portrayal of the events of World War II. Not only is the movie a masterpiece, but the music especially, and Itzhak Perlman's solo violin performance, compliments the visuals so beautifully. Despite the subject matter, this movie is beautifully shot and captured, with an equally beautiful soundtrack. I could not begin to imagine what those who had gone through these events had to deal with; but this is a beautiful tribute honoring their suffering, and making sure the story can be told for generations to come.

Nightmare Nurse (2016)

Really not that bad!

[6/10 · 25 October 2022]

Is this an Oscar-worthy film? Not by a long shot. Is it the worst film to ever be made? Not by a long shot. It's just, mediocre. It's not bad, and it's not good. The acting is amateur, the cinematography and editing are not up to Hollywood standards, but there's a story and a plot twist that do make this movie entertaining. It's a bit predictable, but not entirely so. I gave it 6/10 because, while there certainly is room for improvement, this movie is certainly not the stinker it's being made out to be by many of the other reviews here. I watched it on Amazon Prime which, if you like bad movies, is quite the treasure trove for them.

The Sand (2015)

Not all that bad...well, except for the CGI.

[5/10 · 22 October 2022]

I had no idea what to expect going into this movie. The editing in the beginning was bizarre, because it was a series of flashbacks but it wasn't obvious that they were flashbacks. Then, after the last flashback, we were at the present time and the movie started to take off. The dialogue isn't as bad as the acting, and there were a few moments that I wasn't expecting, so I couldn't exactly call this movie predictable. I thought the premise was clever, kind of a larger more sinister version of Tremors but on a beach. There were certainly plenty of moments of stupidity where the characters could have easily made it safely off the beach, which made the movie drag on quite a bit. It's not bad if you can find a place to watch it without paying for it; I watched on Amazon Prime, being that I'm a prime member.

Walk Away (2020)

Walk away...from this movie

[3/10 · 21 October 2022]

This movie is, in a word: cheesy. The plot is interesting, I'll give it that, but it's predictable, and the cinematography is beyond amateur. There were blatantly obvious drone shots, or shots done with a really bad gimbal and no image stabilization. Some of the establishing shots are way too long, there are bizarre transitions, and apart from all of the technical issues, the dialogue and acting is so bland. Some scenes are overacted, some are grossly underacted, but there is a distinct lack of chemistry between all of the actors. I will admit, this definitely was one of those movies where it was "so bad but I kept watching to see what happened next." There were pointless closeups of insects, and the music score was disturbing and distracting.

Kept Woman (2015 TV Movie)

I was not expecting it to be this good!

[9/10 · 21 October 2022]

So many movies have been made over the years, and it's not uncommon to see movies with similar or duplicate plots/storylines/etc. This movie, was unique. It is not without its predictable moments, but also moments where the bad guy definitely got what he deserved. The ending was probably my favorite part, because the victim finally got a chance to make her captor feel the way she did had she not escape. She also quoted a line he had said to her earlier... "This is your fate now. Accept it" - the way she did it... SO GOOD. I literally cheered out loud when I saw that. I can't give this movie a 10, because it wasn't "perfect" but I enthusiastically give it 9 starts because it was unique, and enjoyable.

Hell House LLC (2015)

Screaming and Shaky Camera Work

[3/10 · 20 October 2022]

This movie was made in 2015, there were definitely cameras with image stabilization available then. For some reason, the people in this movie must have disabled it because almost all of the camera work is extremely shaky, sometimes sickeningly so, which gives the movie an extremely unprofessional and amateur look. If they were going for that type of look they definitely nailed it. Combine the amateur photography and the copious use of the F word, and you've got yourself a riveting piece of cinema. If any of what I said sounds enticing, and you do want to watch this movie, do so on a streaming platform you pay a nominal fee for; this movie isn't worth owning or even paying to rent to watch.

Breaking (2022)

It's like John Q, but in a bank

[8/10 · 14 October 2022]

If you like this style of movie, check out a movie called "John Q" with Denzel Washington in the title role. The plot is virtually identical, though instead of the department of Veteran Affairs being the culprit, it's the company that Denzel's character works for in the movie having changed benefit packages and thus insurance coverage which resulted in his dying son's required heart transplant to not be covered. It also stars Anne Heche and Robert Duvall. Both "John Q" and this movie are excellent, so if you liked this one you'd like "John Q" as well. Both movies share excellent acting and are well cast.

The River Wild (1994)

Really good movie, repetitive score

[7/10 · 5 September 2022]

I enjoyed this movie since it had come out, but the recurring music theme of "The Water is Wide" gets very repetitive, and is borderline a distraction. It almost feels like someone heard the song, and said "Hey, I can make a movie about whitewater rafting based on this song." They should have used that motif more sparingly, and not at least 3 times every 10 minutes. If stuff like that doesn't bother you, you'll definitely enjoy this movie. Good caliber of actors as well, with seemingly good on-screen chemistry. John C Riley and Kevin Bacon seem like the typical "buddies that get into trouble together". David Strathairn is the expected milquetoast lackluster disinterested father figure to Roark, a spunky child and husband of Meryl Streep, clearly the best of the bunch.

Phone Booth (2002)

Better than it looks

[8/10 · 31 August 2022]

This movie is surprisingly good. I think the pacing, given that it takes place mostly in a phone booth, doesn't make it all that boring. This movie touches at the idea of "fake" people, and someone calling them out on being fake. This movie rips apart that persona, in the form of Colin Farrell's character, and shows what would happen if such a person were put in their place. I honestly think it's brilliant. Also, I believe the chemistry between Colin Farrell and Keifer Sutherland is very noticeable; you can see Colin's character going from the "cocky" type to being a victim, but with what the caller (Keifer Sutherland) is trying to get out of him, over the course of the movie he turns from being a cocky publicist to someone admitting their faults, and begging forgiveness for not being a genuine person. This movie is definitely worth a watch.

Renaissance Man (1994)

Touching, funny, and inspiring

[9/10 · 8 August 2022]

I love this movie. I can relate to Danny DeVito's character on many levels. I can relate being someone that's had to be out of his element, but learn to thrive and ultimately become a better person because of it. You could see that through DeVito's character throughout the movie. He starts as a guy, down on his luck, reluctantly taking this job in the Army, is so far out of his element but by the end of the movie he's a better person. You see him become a better father, a better teacher, and just a better person over all. You can also see a transformation by the soldiers in his class. They start out a group of misfits, and it culminates with them being a unified team. This movie is underrated, and I wish got some more attention.

Enough (I) (2002)

Awesome!

[8/10 · 2 August 2022]

I could watch the finale fight scene over and over again. JLo's character, Slim, really puts her "husband" in his place after learning some Krav Maga. My heart goes out to all of the women that were in Slim's situation, dealing with abusive husbands. This movie is a fantastic illustration of what happens when a woman literally, has "Enough" of the abusive husband's BS. Such a great movie, highly recommend.

Nuns on the Run (1990)

One of my favorite obscure movies from the 80s

[8/10 · 31 July 2022]

I used to watch this all the time when I was a kid - it's so much fun; zany and silly just like a lot of other British movies of the time. The music is equally fitting; full of whimsy but also reinforces the action well too. If you haven't seen this, and you an find someplace to stream it online, watch it you won't be disappointed.

Atomic Train (1999)

Good for its time

[8/10 · 30 July 2022]

I happen to really like this movie.

For being a "Made for TV" movie, which I'm sure didn't have much of a budget, the visual fx, blast, fallout, etc was very realistic. Some of the dialogue was borderline cheesy... the "Colorado Free People's Militia" made me roll my eyes but at the same time that kind of behavior doesn't surprise me in the wake of such a disaster. I'd like to think, heaven forbid something like this happens, we've learned enough as a society to work together instead of price gouge people at gunpoint. Then again, with the way things are going gas may one day be $20/gallon, but it isn't yet.

If you can suspend disbelief, deal with some bad writing, and moments of bad acting... it's far better than what most reviews have penned it to be.

The Stairs (I) (2021)

X-Files Rip Off?

[5/10 · 29 July 2022]

The creature looks like a dead ringer for the creature from Season 2 Episode 2, called "The Host". Something tells me the makers of this movie did not consult or get permission from Chris Carter to use the creature he came up with... or did they?