aranormer Reviews

The Titan (2018)

Promising start

[1/10 · 5 January 2022]

First half of the movie was somewhat entertaining, though I kept wondering when exactly they were going to Titan. Progress was so slow that they'd be all old and crippled titans before boarding the spaceship. Somewhere around halfway marker writer apparently ran out of ideas and ripped off Frederik Pohl.

I was left wondering what was the purpose of the monstrosity that was abandoned alone to Titan. He's probably unable to reproduce by himself. We were not shown any kind of equipment for him to stay in contact with those left on Earth. There was really no sense of any kind of continuity, basically he was sent to Titan to die alone.

Little Monsters (2019)

Eats up time

[6/10 · 18 November 2021]

Nicely done! A zombie flick with superbly positive undertone.

Cast was previously unknown to me, I think they made a decent job.

As a whole movie felt a bit uneven, tacking on immature toilet-humor, blood and guts to otherwise family appropriate base. Maybe something from the middle would have worked a bit better? As it is, it's too childish for mature audience and at the same time not suitable for younger audience.

Anyway, if youre looking for an entertaining little flick for saturday morning, give this one a try. You might get pleasantly surprised as long as you remember this isn't from Romero's playbook.

Rendel: Dark Vengeance (2017)

No.

[2/10 · 9 November 2021]

I really wanted to like this. Finally somebody tried to do a decent finnish action movie, and Redel looked kind of cool. Unfortunately that was all this had going on. There really was no story to speak of, and bad guys were bad, because...? ...they needed to be bad to give the hero an excuse to beat them up? At least the writer could have given a proper background to Vala and the vaccine it was testing. What was it for, and why it was needed so urgently.

Virgin River (2019– )

What happened?

[7/10 · 11 July 2021]

I liked first two seasons a lot. Light and fluffy, yet coherent storyline and interesting twists, albeit bit predictable. After watching season three I'm left wondering what the heck happened? We were treated with several lackluster stumps of a story, none of them leading in to absolutely nowhere. Season left me with a nasty feeling of everyting scattering to every possible direction. It almost looks as if screenwriter(s?) left the set and all they had to work with were bunch of random notes on post-its. Nothing gets properly explored or explained, seemingly major incidents are far too quickly written off and forgotten.

Not really holding my breath in anticipation of next season.

Dragon's Dogma (2020)

Not so great

[3/10 · 21 September 2020]

I wasn't aware that this was a game adaptation, though I soon begun to suspect it. Almost nonexistent story line progressed as if somebody had taken cut-scenes from a game and made a series out of them. Shortcomings of the plot aside, visuals were mostly pleasant. My only gripe with them were the creatures, which were inconsistently portrayed. Whereas rest of the series was more traditional, looking almost as if drawn by hand, creatures seemed as if taken straight from a computer game. Compared to rest of the characters and scenery around them they were off-color, and almost too realistic.

I did watch the whole season since I had nothing else to do, but not having played the game left me feeling like I wasted my time anyway. There seemed to be no rhyme nor reason why things on the screen kept happening, there was no reason for me to feel anything for any of the characters I was introduced to.

Won't be waiting for second season. Perhaps for gamers this could be an okay filler material when taking a break from the actual game, but to casual viewer this show is basically worthless.

The Lost City of Z (2016)

Dull

[3/10 · 4 February 2020]

I wasn't familiar with the hero of this movie beforehand, the great expeditions weren't really a thing taught in our schools. What little I know on the subject I picked up from random documentaries, old Tarzan movies and not as old Indiana Jones movies.

Basic material of this movie was interesting, an age old story of adventure and discoveries. Both of them weren't to be found. Instead we were treated with a glimpse of the dreary side of a life of an adventurer and his family.

Now, don't get me wrong, this movie still could have been watchable, I do not believe a second that Indiana Jones was an accurate depiction of a real life explorer.

What constantly threw me off and kept me from immersing myself in to story was that there really was no story to speak of, and script writer, as well as the director seemed to have lost any sense of time. From what I have understood from documentaries and movies, expeditions weren't taken lightly. First they were several months, even years at planning and funding stage. Actual expeditions took at minimum several months, even years to complete. Yet kids at home got born during expedition. Same kids kept growing only when plot required it. Same kids completely forgot their dad only after what seemed to amount a few pitiful months, year at most.

In addition to poor concept of time there was no sense of ecxitement. At no point I felt the burning need to see the lost city which was supposed to be the ultimate goal of the movie. Basically I sat on a chair, waiting and hoping for the city to show up or the hero to give up and die as a bitter old man.

I can not recommend this movie to anybody.

Medical Police (2020)

Bad

[1/10 · 14 January 2020]

I felt like I was watching a group of friends who were drunk/high/idiots and who kept spewing inside jokes non-stop. As a result I was left out with a growing sense of unease, wondering should I brave on couple more minutes. I did, hoping that the show would improve. It didn't.

Dracula (2020)

Not a good show

[2/10 · 4 January 2020]

First episode lured me in, second made me doubt, and after finishing the third episode I wished I had quit watching sooner.

There were aspects I quite enjoyed, portrayal of Dracula even if bit off, one of them. They couldn't cover complete lack of coherent plot or the fact that this was as much adaptation of Stoker's Dracula as the latest version of Fahrenheit 451 (Netflix) was adaptation of Bradbury's masterpiece.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

Good movie...

[6/10 · 2 December 2019]

...should have been better.

I haven't read the book, binge-watched the whole trilogy, I have seen and read LOTR. I'm flabbergasted.

I did enjoy the trilogy as a whole quite a lot. It was an entertaining action fest set in LOTR-like scenery. I was even treated with quite a few characters which I recognized from LOTR. Story was easy to follow, and not too much shakycam or fast cuts were used. Several of the actors performed well enough, nothing really drew me out of story, untill last installment started unfolding right in front of my eyes. That's when it all came tumbling down.

Now I'm sitting here wondering what went wrong? Was it the tone of the movie? Death and mayhem were treated quite humorously through the whole trilogy, important character deaths were dealt swiftly and efficiently. Movie was as violent as the trilogy as a whole, yet general tone felt almost comedic. Wasn't The Hobbit written for children?

Characters representing good were god-like creatures, able to shrug off any injury except when plot required someone to die. Legolas and his love intrest were an unstoppable force of nature which put Matrix and its ilk to shame. I had to try to come up any excuse why any other characters were even fighting, just hunker down and let immortal terror-twins save the day? Dwarwes were faring just as well, kicking and head-butting armored orcs to death from left and right. I couldn't help wondering why they bothered to carry weapons at all. Rest of the elves, their superficial, greedy and vain king included were mere cannon fodder, as were the village folk. Maybe 10 years old Superman fan had created the script?

Worst offender however for me was the last part of the trilogy. It felt like it was completely cgi. It felt like I was watching the last part of LOTR through a filter that switched the original characters with those taken from The Hobbit-trilogy. So, was this 10 years old Superman fan also some sort of computer geek, and told Jackson he could do all the work for the last part of the trilogy?

Six stars for the reasons mentioned at the beginning of this review. Four stars missing because of the reasons mentioned at the latter part.

Christmas Inheritance (2017)

Poor.

[2/10 · 14 November 2019]

I was expecting a cheesy feel-good flick with loads of sugar and kisses. What I got was a script that kept contradicting itself from scene to scene, completely wooden and uninteresting characters and a basic story that conveyed rather strange if not downright disgusting message.

Selfish nitwit heiress wasn't in the movie, her character was little clumsy but good at heart from the start.

Inn keeper was having inapropriate mood swings. I kept waiting for him to confess that he ended his ex with an axe.

"Greedy and selfish" fiancee was actually the voice of reason, yet we're supposed to hate him for reasons.

Clearly unstable inn keeper with equally dubious townsfolk who are all depending on the company (how exactly? Where were the factories/craft shops?) are supposed to be the heroes who teach to heiress... Teach her what?

Killer blizzard consists on few lazily floating specles of snow. We later learn that said storm has truly wrecked havoc and made in to national news. Yet in town life goes on, and amount of snow on-screen is less than what I could scrape off from my freezer. Coldness that's frequently advertized by various characters doesn't show on-screen either.

Did I already mention dangerously unhinged inn keeper, and how we are supposed to root for him instead of surprisingly reasonable fiancee because reasons?

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

No.

[4/10 · 2 November 2019]

I have been waiting for a sequel to T2 for quite some time already. This wasn't it. Salvation came close, but Dark Fate falls into shameless cash-grab category with T3 and Genisys.

Leave the Terminator alone!!!!

Four stars I gave solely because both Hamilton and Arnie were on the screen again.

Fractured (I) (2019)

Predictable but not bad

[8/10 · 13 October 2019]

I was expecting the end we saw from the opening scene. At that moment I was a bit disappointed, but decided to brave through the whole ordeal, hoping against hope that my expectations would be proven wrong. No such luck.

But...

This was perhaps the rare example of a movie which manages to entertain and keep the audience interested despite the fundamental flaw of telegraphing the ending via galore of hints.

At the beginning it almost looks like our hero is alone in the car, ranting and raving like a lunatic. From there on we are presented none too veiled scenes of him interacting with his supposed family in a manner that can be described as peculiar. Is he angry with them? Frustrated? Worried? Something is going on... Next to me quite obvious clue was the interwiev with the clerc of sorts, who'd ultimately decide if the daughter would recieve treatment. Having gone through similar process with my son I knew that the woman was far too interested with status of our hero, basically nothing relevant was asked about the daughter.

I could go on, but better not. To me this was a great movie, made even greater by the end where true identity of "Peri" at the back of the car was revealed.

In the Tall Grass (2019)

Not to my liking

[4/10 · 5 October 2019]

There hasn't been too many successful King adaptations. I haven't read the original, so I won't be comparing this adaptation to it.

As a whole the movie felt stunted, like it was holding back. I couldn't relate to any of the characters. Problems they had felt tacked on. The grass itself was left without a proper explanation. I do not need everything explained and every morsel of plot spoon fed to me, but at least hint of what was going on would have made this more enjoyable experience.

4/10 since this managed to remind me that yard needs trimming before first snowfall.

Sound & Fury (2019)

Entertaining

[6/10 · 30 September 2019]

I was entertained, but that is all. Artist was formerly unknown to me. Music was okay. Anime was okay, though I would have preferred more unified look and feel rather than collaboration.

Completely okay, but nothing spectacular.

The Dark Tower (2017)

No.

[18 June 2019]

Taking characters and random plot elements from already existing series of novels and making up a story of your own, based on them, often makes quite entertaining fan fiction, but a great movie adaptation it doesn't create. I still wonder why King agreed when he was asked if he'd like his Opus Magnum butchered beyond recognition. I'm equally flabbergasted of why any of the actors went along and willingly accepted roles that were this stunted and wooden.

Currently I'm patting my back and congratulating myself for not spending any money on this travesty. I lost mere minutes of my life, and got a perfect excuse to return in to company of Roland, Jake, Eddie, Oy and many others in the format far superior to this...

Tank 432 (2015)

Wut?

[1/10 · 11 May 2019]

I should have taken the advice of those that saw this atrocity before and warned not to watch it. No. I kept thinking that it's horror, and it's English, I loved Dog Soldiers as well as several of its ilk...

Well, this wasn't Dog Soldiers. What this was, was several minutes of my life that I could have used better. Nothing gets explained or solved in this movie, and come to think of it, there's a reason for the lack of proper ending: there's nothing to explain or to solve. There's no mystery other than who ever thought it would be a good idea to shovel money in to writer/director of this turd.

Annabelle (I) (2014)

Disappointing

[2/10 · 2 April 2019]

After watching entries to Conjuring-universe, as well as Annabelle related spin-off's I was thrilled when I found this from Netflix. After ten minutes I realized that this had very little common with earlier movies related to Annabelle. You could have switched Annabelle with Chucky, Barbie, Teddybear or any other child's toy and this movie wouldn't have suffered a bit. There was zero tension and horror.

Z Nation (2014–2018)

Where is it going?

[8/10 · 23 February 2019]

I like this show a lot. Now, after watching a mediocre season 5 I'm worried. Original inner circle seems to be breaking up and settling down, in comes society, politics and sitcom.

This show used to be about zombies. No matter where they were, I could rely on zombies lumbering around, trying to take a bite from our heroes. They also had a mission. Operation Bitemark. Zombies and completing the mission were the driving force behind the show. Now there's no reason to keep going other than hand out the vaccine (or is Murphy turning evil again?) and zombies are rotting away while speakers pop up behind every corner, requiring only daily dose of lithium or the vaccine. There's no sense of danger or despair.

Let vaccine be a dud. Let lithium supply end. Let zombies roam free again and keep our heroes together! Too many a series has fallen apart when writers and directors have turned them from campy horror to "serious" soap opera.

When Calls the Heart (2014– )

Went downhill fast

[3/10 · 9 February 2019]

This is the type of series I enjoy watching to pass the time at afternoon. Light and positive with intriguing plot.

Or that's what I thought of after watching the first season. I should have stopped there.

Second season brought forth silly costumes and lathered on ill-fitting makeup. By the season three I was ready to stop, but decided to give this one more chance. Plot begun to get convoluted, predictable and plain stupid. I stopped watching after couple of episodes.

Now, I understand this is Hallmark. I wasn't expecting much, but this whole show mysteriously fell apart when season one was over. Was this perhaps intended as a mini-series, and the production team had absolutely nothing to work with? Because having your lead pair only shyly glancing each other, leading lady flashing her annoying fake smile at every situation and leading man being as interesting as wooden board does not an interesting entertainment make.

You Were Never Really Here (2017)

I wish I wasn't never really here

[1/10 · 4 February 2019]

Artsy movies aren't my cup of tea. Every now and then I still manage to stumble upon entertaining piece. You Were Never Really Here managed only to bore me.

Premise of the movie is okay, have seen it done before with skill.

Phoenix performs as usual, no surprises there. In my opinion he's the one actor you can slap on to any role in any genre, solely because roles adapt to him rather than the other way around.

Plot... Can't really talk about something that wasn't there.

Supporting characters were completely unintresting, save Joe's mother. I would have gladly watched an entire movie of Joe and his mom getting on with their everyday life. Sadly that wasn't written in.

One star I gave only because I didn't squader any money for this, and few fleeting moments of Joe's mom on the screen that were mildly entertaining.

The Bye Bye Man (2017)

Not bad at all

[5/10 · 2 January 2019]

Finally a movie about some mysterious monster that isn't just a hallucination! Was getting sick of all the "creepy crawlies are coming, they*re coming, they're HERE! ...but don't worry it was just a dream of our protagonist...".

Acting is spot on for this genre, not Oscar-worthy, but downright Cringe-worthy at times. Plot is simple, yet some things have been left vague. I'm guessing it's due to budget restraints or because the team behind this was afraid that audience wouldn't appreciate detailed backstory to the creature. In all honesty, leaving it up to thin air made the movie creepier for me, since the monster lacked the fear factory in appearance. It was just plain weird.

I wasn't aware that there was a real legend behind this before I came to IMDB. Had the team written it in, I think it would have made the creature too much human.

With all the flaws in it the movie managed to entertain me, even puzzle me momentarily, and as a fan of 80's slashers I would recommend this to anybody who's still watching Freddy, Jason and Michael butchering teenagers. Obviously this is not on the same level as them, but pretty darn close.

It Comes at Night (2017)

Garbage

[1/10 · 1 January 2019]

I wish they'd start writing scripts again, I wish they'd stop funding pseudo-artistic projects like this, I wish they'd give me a movie to watch.

I'm tired of spending time and money to "movies" which make me not only to think the message behind it but make me imagine the plot for it as well. It's a job for writer, director and actor and all involved to tell me a story, and it's up to me to decide if I take it on face value or try to find some deeper meaning in it. Far too long have the tables been turned and I've been offered only allegorical nonsense with no real story or substance. It comes at night is a perfect example of that.

Watership Down (2018)

Entertaining

[4/10 · 25 December 2018]

I haven't read the book nor seen the original movie based on it so I won't be comparing this to those.

Voice acting was for the most part okay, but I kept expecting it to reflect what was going on on the screen. That didn't happen. Actors were merely reading their lines. Dialects or emotions were subtle enough so I could follow the story rather than trying to guess what was said several minutes ago, but in the trade-off I was unable to connect with what was going on on emotional level.

CGI seemed outdated. Backgrounds lacked life and detail. Individual rabbits were difficult to tell apart from eah other unless they had some very distinctive characteristics tacked on to them (mohawk on one's forehead, one blind eye on one). Even those markers weren't much of help since for some reason in a movie about rabbits the central characters were mostly hares with cloaking abilities cranked up tenfold.

Story itself was harrowing enough to keep me interested, but I couldn't help hoping I would have read the book before watching this. Bunnies had their own language and it was sprinkled all over the series with heavy hand. Word or more here and there, some of them getting an explanation at much later stage in the story. Of course most of it was pretty self-explanatory, like bunnie's name for a car for example, but I'd rather seen words explained within first instance they were used, not wait for the next chapter of the story.

General message of the story is handled bit clumsily. At times I felt the team behind this were hellbent on screaming that this is not just another computer generated show for kids so they kept rubbing the grim aspects of it to the front. I get it. It's not for kids. But I kind of doubt it needs to be said as loud and frequent as they did' book itself is still been read around the world and the original movie has been in circulation from the seventies, I think?

All in all, this was entertaining, nothing more.

Wild Card (2015)

Nice.

[6/10 · 20 December 2018]

I watched this and afterwards felt strange. Something was missing. I genuinely liked this, I like Statham pretty much anything he's at, and rest of the cast did a decent job, nothing to complain on that department. This was also pleasant for the eyes, not the usual shaky-cam extravaganza. Visuals were... They were okay, I guess. I haven't been to Las Vegas, but I'd imagine it looking like it did in the movie, just with heck of a lot more people milling around. I have seen my fair share of movies and television shows located there. So far nothing to complain. Kept scratching my head, then decided to see what others thought about this.

Okay. Plot was paper thin. Easy to follow but I bet it was easy to write as well, and it shows. It lacks the actual story behind everything. Something happens and were introduced to some interesting characters, but there's really no flesh on the bones. No back stories, no connection between characters unless you imagine it by yourself from the scattered and unfortunately quite generic hints were given.

I suspect the rating of this would be at least few notches higher had the script been written with a little more thought in details.

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Okay

[6/10 · 22 November 2018]

Not exceptional, not bad. Okay.

Watched this purely because Kurt Russell. This was a nice attempt to re-create some of the older "Santa meets kids and things happen" -movies. Writer had made an honest effort to try and create something original in regards of the logistics of Santa's operation. Special effects were suitably dulled and subtle, enhancing the story rather than surpassing it. Acting was okay. A bit wooden at times with all involved, but that's to be expected in a movie like this.

Now, I do like Kurt in most of the movies I have seen him, but... Oh, I wish he'd stop accepting roles which put him in old west. He's no cowboy no matter how how hard he poses as one. That makes him look and sound irritatingly pompous, and from time to time that act bled through in his portrayal of Santa as well. He should have left that pretended macho-attitude back to where it belongs, to the set of Death Proof. He doesn't need to pretend macho.