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jayyarm
Reviews
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
Mission Implausible
Pretty much a disappointment. There is an awful amount of exposition and scenery chewing in between the fight/chases/stunts. A lot of characters do odd (or dumb) things for never explained reasons - it's really tough to figure out anyone's motivations.
There is too much humor, advertent or not, for the movie to be taken seriously but also too much violence and calculated pathos.
There is the usual amount of inexplicable coincidence (cf Indiana Jones), like Benji easily finding Ethan in all of Venice, not to mention Ethan's arrival on the train.
Lastly, the locomotive crash that we all saw in the trailer: it's shown from 3 different angles and doesn't even fill 10 seconds of screen time, and looks like good CGI even though we know it was done for real. Well, sort of for real because we know from YouTube that the bridge and the motorcycle take-off slope were entirely digital.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Not terrible, but not much worth viewing either
Saw IJDD with another couple. We're all around Indy's age, and we all felt kind of blah about it. Not only was there no chemistry, I actively disliked Helena almost as much as Mason (the female agent). The casual killings were disturbing too - despite the astronomical death toll in the John Wick movies there was never any collateral damage amongst the innocent.
Whatever you think about the Fast and Furious franchise, the car chases are usually pretty exciting. Unfortunately, the same can't be said here. Miraculously, no matter what goes on, there is no other traffic in the way, no pedestrians on the sidewalks. The film also contains one of my long time bet noirs: no matter how much they separate along different routes, the bad guys and the good guys always manage to find each other (if my wife and I separate in the grocery store we usually need our cell phones to get back together). As an example of the lack of coherence in the main car chase, Indy's tuk-tuk hangs a turn at a T-intersection between 2 very narrow streets. Somehow, a moment later, the full size sedan is right behind them again, despite the turn being physically impossible.
Lastly, although I kind of enjoyed the sojourn in the past, the idea that ballistae could hit an airplane is totally ridiculous.
No Time to Die (2021)
The absolute worst Bond film
I liked Craig's Bond even more than Connery's up until this movie. Not that Craig's performance was bad, it's just that the movie made almost no sense at all. Plus, it was like a video game - up pops a bad guy, kill them, rinse and repeat. Safin's and Spectre's henchmen must have learned to shoot from the same school that Star Wars Stormtroopers use.
All in all, even worse than the Roger Moore films, which were the bottom of the Bond barrel until now, in my opinion.
I was going to rate this 3 stars, but I decided the excellent stunts and practical effects were worth an extra point.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
Derivative, Tedious & Preposterous
Probably the last Star Wars movie I'll ever bother seeing! What can I add to the disappointment many others have expressed. You could drive a truck thru the plot holes and continuity problems. Nothing original at all, just recycled stuff from other movies. No matter how large and convoluted the venue, the characters always find each other in the nick of time. The faster than light reaction shot of Leia the instant Solo dies so far away was jarring and inexplicable. I also want to know how the rest of the team made it across a 300 or 400 foot gap to meet Rey when she climbs the last 10 feet of the wall! As others have noted, Storm Troopers still can't shoot, although X-Wings manage to shoot STs standing 10 feet from the good guys. And, by the way, if the mission is to capture Rey and the Droid intact, blowing the hell out of the building is not the most dependable approach!
Il mercante di pietre (2006)
Dumb movie - I'm going to spoil the ending!!!
OK, I've never done this before, but this movie is so bad, I must comment (and I wish there was a 0/10 choice). I didn't mind the acting so much as the writing and plot. First of all, the whole thing rests on a series of coincidences and acts of God (or Allah, if you prefer). Second, it requires more suspension of disbelief than I can muster to accept the instant, lustful attraction the lovely Jane March has for the almost 70 year old and fat Harvey Keitel. Third, the statement is made that while all Muslims are not terrorists, ALL terrorists are Muslims, and this is accepted despite it's obvious untruth (red brigade, IRA, Bader-Meinhoff to name a few), plus the fact that there are no Muslims in the movie who are not terrorists. Lastly, the ending makes no sense and undermines the entire premise of the plot - SPOILER, SPOILER, SPOILER - The whole purpose of the seduction and manipulation was to get Leda to drive the bomb carrying car (kind of small for the damage done, BTW) on-board the ferry so it could be set off - but there was F. Murray Abraham in front of her ON the boat committing suicide with the cell phone trigger, so why didn't he just drive or carry the bomb himself and save all the complications - it wasn't as though there was any security at all when boarding.
The Astronaut Farmer (2006)
Kind of mixed feelings
First of all, this is an entertaining, reasonably well acted movie. As others have noted, the droll depiction of small town life/people is right on (and the little girls are great). Unfortunately, you can drive a truck through the gaps in logic, and the repeated and extreme suspension of disbelief kind of got to me after a while. Some of the items: 1. The local bank let them carry HOW much money on the ranch mortgage? 2. Grandpa Dern is sitting on tons of money that nobody knows about, and he doesn't offer his daughter any to prevent foreclosure. 3. The initial crash wasn't survivable, even without the explosion and fire that should have followed (what is the point of having a rescue rocket tower to lift the capsule clear in case of emergency on take off, if you don't use it?) 4. Nothing irreplaceable got damaged in the crash. 5. Nobody notices that he rebuilds the rocket & presumably buys more regulated fuel. 6. He is up for 9 orbits ~ 7 hours, and nobody but his son talks to him over open radio. 7. If all he had to do was plug in a wire, why wait so long, especially if you know exactly where the problem is and it is within easy reach. 8. The head of the FAA has to know that all the airline and traffic control radars in the country lit up with the launch, as well as radars in every other country around the globe (even if he is a Bush appointee). 9. 10,000 pounds of fuel won't get him into orbit, and single stage rockets aren't generally the way to go. 10. Landing back on the ranch can't happen - the orbits don't work out. And where the hell is everybody - shouldn't there be some news choppers or the FBI/FAA/CIA or those guys in the black helicopters waiting? There's more, but I'm tired of thinking about it.