HenbaineAccount2 Reviews

Insidious (I) (2010)

Started out so promising- then fell flat

[5/10 · 11 April 2017]

The premise is pretty good. Although it put me in mind of "Poltergeist" with the whole having to go to another "World" to save someone, or the classic part of Amityville 8 with the final attic scene.

This was a very promising storyline, however it tries so hard to be realistic from the off then trails off into fantasy land. *sigh* I really felt for the characters originally, struggling with their young son who suddenly one day after a fall is in a "coma" Cue distraught mother and absent, working late, aggro father refusing to believe that the house is haunted after weird things suddenly start to happen.. before finding irrefutable "evidence" ( who does not look at their kid's wall and see drawings when trying to find out what has happened to them??? they spend a good deal of time in his bedroom but never spot a MASSIVE clue??) Some scenes genuinely had me freaked.. the shoes and the little boy, Dalton "walking around" while in a coma was very eerie.

The creepy guy stood by him pointing. The house in the "further" with the very odd family. But the main "demon" well, not so much. Didn't even look scary- a pierced darth maul- esque face with blue eyes,the classic cloven hooves under furry legs and razor sharp teeth showing hints of a forked tongue.Hmmm, sure. It was at the point where he is filing his claws on a sander surrounded by puppets in some phantom of the opera worthy setting that I felt the movie had lost it's way slightly. Also the whole,creepy psychic woman- who knows more than she lets on.. mother's prophetic/flashback dream and of course, the token over exuberant paranormal investigators made me think "tired clichés!" but they did manage to make some scenes more realistic in this attempt at least...

So, a few too many clichés and cookie cutter horror scenarios later( the hey I'm a psychic- something's up with your house- you know that cause I pause mid sentence and give "that look" but dismiss it.. so.."let's look round here-oh!yep a ghost-Let's break it to the family. Person X: not I refuse to get help! you are full of it.. oh no, wait, my bad..the house is falling apart : / OK maybe we should do this.. let's call a spirit/ astral body..ooh geez that escalated quickly it's gone wrong and spirits are attacking us.. let's go to the other world to save someone and follow someone's voice back.. *pauses for air..*) The one saving grace *drum roll* -twist at the end! hurray! And yes, ever the hard to please viewer..I humbly admit- I didn't see this coming! (or fully grasp it) Pretty open to interpretation-

... However, having now seen the next 2 instalments, i have to set it only goes from bad to worse. 3 is barely viewable and 4, who knows...

Deadpool (2016)

Hilarious, Smutty, Graphic and Edgy

[9/10 · 11 April 2017]

So you are there looking at the posters and asking yourself, should I watch this movie?

Let me help you out ( no major spoilers as I won't ruin the fun!)

Do you like Marvel? No, give it a go.. it's different. Yes? Watch it!, I'm guessing you already know it's different to the usual marvel.

Do you like swearing, somewhat graphic violence,innuendo, racy banter, some racy "adult" scenes, smut, sarcasm and pretty un PC conversations? Good, you'll be fine No? I'd skip this one for sure and watch some more fluffy marvel. ( or skip to the fluffy Xmen Lite & cutesy couple conversation scenes)

This movie is edgy, twisted and funny as. The plot IS basic and predictable but, the fillers and content make up for it in spades. I haven't laughed/ cringed so much in a while. The story of Mr Pool is a sexy, humorous, adrenaline filled riot worth your time.

The Conjuring (2013)

A really poor Trilogy

[2/10 · 11 April 2017]

The Warrens, seen them done so much in movies now, I get it they are famous blah blah blah. But their chronically annoying,grating philosophy about witchcraft and evil and the occult winds me so intensely up i can't even. They way they run around spouting such things as if they are cold hard facts is enough to make me tune out.

I so wanted this one to be decent and prove my judgement wrong.. nope.

This movie is so predictable it almost makes Annabelle and The conjuring 2 look like fun. ALMOST, but not.

Give this a miss if you are as over clichéd re hashed Warren Sagas as I am

Annabelle (I) (2014)

SO boring

[2/10 · 11 April 2017]

This film was tired and boring Over the top over protective male lead, nauseatingly over analysing his partner's every move/ emotion/ tantrum/ etc as she's knocked up so he's in full on OTT doctor mode in the first half, all the time. His whiny over protective wimp of a partner is just as annoying in my opinion. I feel nothing for them, which creates my first big dilemma as in a horror you kind of need to give some what of a dam what happens to your protagonists to feel unnerved and scared 'for' them right?

Annabelle the doll is kinda creepy.But that is literally all. This movie is droll and predictable I could pre guess every minute of it. I know it's based on "experiences" relating to the Warrens but as I don't care for them I really was left feeling nothing at the end of this one.

I went into it expecting very little luckily so wasn't under any false illusions.

Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)

Ouija- Origin of a lazy copy

[4/10 · 11 April 2017]

Sorry but I honestly do not understand the 10/10 reviews for this movie. In fact I think my 4 is begin a tad over generous. Let me explain why..

I'll begin with the good bits.. 1. the score is pretty nice, ambient but eery and a bit sad.

2. Some of the effects are pretty creepy, especially where the possession starts to fully show. 3. There is some good suspense to be had a few nail bite moments especially as it all gets a bit crazy toward the end with a possession free for all going on. 4. The young lady playing Doris shines in this movie, very talented despite being given a painfully clichéd creepy child role, she is superb. 5. The ending was a surprise, but that's probably as I haven't bothered watching "Ouija" due to very bad reviews. 5. The actress playing Lina has her moments also as a promising actress. 6 Character dynamics and interactions have some genuinely believable moments.

The not so good bits..

1. This type of story is beyond exhausted. They try to twist it with the whole " we can make our readings more - real with this board" but it's not enough 2. dead parent, creepy kid, bitchy rebellious teen kid, dead parent and strong but unravel parent. 3. A creepy new fad appears and things go all eery. People get possessed, people get killed and then more people get killed- no real reason as to why these spirits are killing a whole family. 4. No real closure as to what the "other" things with Markus are 5. The families general reaction to hanging teenager in their stairway & their dead kid/sibling is way too nonplused. I mean you kill your sister happily then come round not giving a hoot.. but freak out only when you kill your mother. 6. Given that the dynamics and interactions have such believable moments , the chronic underacting near the end just makes me frustrated. 7. The mother is seriously irritating throughout.And exploiting your child, top parenting, how does no one step in knowing her kid is skipping school to "work" with her? 8. Dialogue begins to drift into cliché territory near the end as do all the effects, it's just like watching a rip of the Exorcist mixed with other known themes... 9. The end just appears so suddenly. I hate it when movies begin to show promise then just race to an ending. It just escalates un naturally fast for my liking, I mean really the kid does what like 2 readings, writes loads of junk in polish then mass murders and possesses people in a couple of days if that? 10. Daddy sews up doll mouths to stop "the voices" was he alive/dead when he did this? and why so suddenly, I mean if these things have been in the house so long, the mother and her kids do "readings" all the time why suddenly does it take this kid turning out to be some insane conduit medium out of nowhere? Surely she'd have shown signs sooner? surely they would have had weird things happen sooner?

Too many plot holes in this movie which is a shame as it does have promise but the lazy approach tarnishes it's ideal.

Case 39 (2009)

Boring- I rest my case

[3/10 · 11 April 2017]

Well another movie that started out so promisingly then went rapidly down hill to a very un climatic ending.

This started off WELL. I was really excited about watching the story unfold.Seemingly evil, sick deranged parents and poor child you could actually feel really bad for... Of course the twist comes very early. The sweet girl turns out to be... yes, evil. Oh yeah, and she has a crazy mother, no real history, was a sort of possessed half demon from birth.. actually scared and tormented the hell out of her parents and made them suffer till they went mad and tried to kill her then died.. (Orphan, The Ring, anyone?) Yes another story that's been done. And yes, again The lead "mother" role is scared and needs help from her male friend- who of course dies and leaves her desperate when the girl turns on her.This is a girl who knows what you are thinking and up to all the time.. ? This seems a fundamental flaw all the way through..how did this kid who knows and suspects all and doesn't sleep.. allow herself to be drugged and almost died in an oven, and then be locked inside an exploding house.. YET suddenly not only get out appear totally fine over the road? and then be killed by being being driven off a cliff- while scared because she can't sense what is happening or read your mind if you pretend you don't fear her.

The whole ending was just so slap dash it actually annoyed me. There are so many ways it could have been as dramatic as the build up towards it. But no, rushed and really average. Oh let's go for a nice car ride after I have told you you are a psycho kid and I hate you.. look I'm going to kill you- oh there's the cliff.. right.Then.

Spring Breakers (2012)

Don't spring-break your bank for this movie

[1/10 · 11 April 2017]

It's a car-crash of a movie.. I saw previews after believing it would be some tacky chick flick and though hey this actually may be a bit edgy and maybe pretty good so gave it a watch..I remain on the fence.

I am still unsure as to whether the girls are supposed to just be such deluded kids going on about how magical it all is and how they fit in blah blah blah is meant to reflect how vapid, shallow and clueless and easily led some kids can be now. How we live in a world where people want wealthy music video-esque lives,kids imitate violence,gang culture and sexuality shown on TV and video games without thought- or whether the director was trying to make the audience believe that it was magical and special too and therefore ultimately get their point. I really hope it was not the latter..

The movie is pretty well shot and although not a skrillex fan the music worked very well, (apart from the rendition of Britney spears by a "gangster" on a white piano- played over slow motion graphic violence and girls dancing with guns,which I believe was supposed to have serious credibility and pose some level of depth,dear god.) But overall, if it is meant to be taken seriously and not as some ironic, farcical teenage fantasy this movie fails at every turn.

The whole concept fell flat for me,the girls robbing a restaurant seems plausible when you see the actual execution but they wouldn't get caught after handling guns & grabbing till cash with no gloves? burning a car? sure.

Then the "good" girl, (why did she even go?) gets all freaked after they get arrested in Florida and meet "Alien" the gangster and goes home crying on a bus. ( I had to laugh after remembering Selena saying she loved playing an edgy film role, sure you played the good kid who freaked..)

Alien is ridiculous. Some slimy, perverse and overtly stereotyped gangster trying to show depth while being like "look at all my s***" constantly.does not work. He comes across as a creep. So stone cold gangster, self confessed dangerous man- hanging with silly little teenagers who are so tough, till one gets shot in the arm, whales like a baby for 10 minutes and- yep, goes home crying on a bus as her increasingly off the rails friends remain with Alien.

What really got me was the ending. There was a spat between Alien and some other dude over who runs the area. We know there is bad blood but it escalates pretty fast after pink hair girl gets shot. Suddenly the two teenage girls are somehow ultra calm super killers- they manage to hold powerful guns in the air, one handed - AND take out like ten gangsters at once in cold blood, while super ultra dangerous killer man Alien,is taken out by one guy after 3 seconds. They then kill the opposing guy in his hot tub while he makes no attempt to do anything but shrug.There is then the whole let's call out parents to tell them what a magical time we are having and how we will be home soon, after committing mass murder and stealing a car.

The only thing that makes the whole scene even barely feasible is the fact that in the beginning of the movie before casing a cafe they made references to pretending they were "In a video game" while seriously hyped on cocaine. The lines between reality seem to have been seriously blurred for these girls, who have gone from being bratty,squeaky girly teens with an bit too much attitude dancing around singing and drinking to stone cold, hardcore killers (in pink unicorn balaclavas and bikinis)less afraid than a gangster and able to shoot guns like pros in seemingly zero time frame.

And lastly, the massively grating over use of the term "Spring Break" often followed as gratingly by the words "forever" and "bitches" wow. yes we get it,they are on spring break.And are trying to be such badass bitches,like, you know,forever.Okay now that's established- are we done yet? Or maybe that's the point.

you can take two views on this movie:

1. It is actually deep and satirical showing the flaws and over ideas of kids and adults who go to any lengths to replicate the media ideas they see to the point where they are living false and dangerous lives like many people of fame. People who cannot live up to the hype of their self created persona in the end.

2. It is supposed to be some drug hyped violence fest for horny guys and teenage girls with too much attitude who love the idea of being crazy harlets in the sun fueled by booze coke but then it goes too far so they become serious robbers & killers for the kicks while still believing what they are doing is magic & special.

Orphan (2009)

There's Something Wrong with this Movie..

[4/10 · 11 April 2017]

I was advised to watch this movie a it was apparently amazing and bloody terrifying According to a friend of mine. Well, being as I love all things "terrifying", I sprinted toward the opportunity to watch this one.Maybe a casual stroll would have been better..

Okay I'll say this much-the movie actually wasn't THAT bad. Having said that however, I personally didn't find it too amazing either.

The first two things that came to mind with this film and could have pretty much served as deal breakers were:

1.The very last line is clearly stolen from the Ring 2 and the situation in which it appears is also way too similar (In fact,the whole evil girl with questionable history thing has been done in an all too similar fashion enough times by now..) 2.The whole movie is basically like a mishmash of The Ring, The Good Son and The Hand That Rocks The Cradle.

It did occur to me that maybe it was a bit harsh to overly judge the movie purely based on these facts,so I decided to forget that I had seen this all before and look at it for it's own merit and individuality. Not so easy though..

The characters seemed to stumble their way through the entire movie, switching personalities every five minutes to suit the scene changes. Hints such as the "cheating" husband seemed raised in the moment for drama but then vanish from the plot line as soon as they are mentioned. This is frustrating and leaves several unanswered questions that would have been usefully wrapped up by the end if not before.Take fro example, a revelation that the mother is apparently a recovering /recovered alcoholic. In the scene where she has it out with the therapist, Hubby goes from being this exceptionally loving husband, having had a few niggles with his wife-to suddenly pulling an emotional 360 and completely turning on her.

Which brings me to my next point. Old hubbsy then allows himself to get totally steaming drunk while Left in the care of his two other children AFTER berating his wife for said above issues. He is so Hammered at this point that he almost gets seduced by Esther. You know, the "child", who is suddenly wearing a flirty modern day grown up outfit and shed loads of makeup.

The family took an unfeasible leap of faith when they didn't even think to fully wait for Esther's history to be revealed before adopting her. (And just how, was the mother- a former alcoholic who had been in jail for child neglect allowed to adopt anyway so easily in the first place?) Firstly, She was examined by a DOCTOR. Who did not expect she was not a 9 year old child. Esther turns out to be extremely violent and dangerous,having herself been sectioned in a mental institute. The staff were fully aware of her "Secret" and yet, still felt adoption was suitable.I mean, sure let's just casually gloss over the fact the she kind of killed her previous adopted families. After all that,she managed to slip out of the place and get into an orphanage with no other known history and be re-adopted. Sure,okay.

I also cannot get how on earth these parents could not see what this girl actually was doing wrong. There are clearly huge signs. These bright neon signs are dismissed as much as the distress obviously being caused to their actual children, who get left alone with this pint sized psycho. To make matters more ludicrous, the mother who actually starts to suspect Esther is, "not right, still fumbles along blindly watching hell unfold.

And finally.. *drumroll*.... it's the"dramatic" twist time.I Kind of guessed just from basic reviews saying it would be an obvious one. Let me tell you in this review, it is an obvious one. Obvious from less than 15 minutes into the movie itself if you pay attention enough.

Okay, I know what you're thinking, I did say it wasn't all bad. So here are some of the more redeeming qualities:

Great acting by Isabelle Fuhrman who plays Esther. She is a kid, playing a psychotic adult playing a psychotic kid. I'll be fair, that is quite a challenging role for someone so young and she pulls it off very. There are also some jumpy and slightly unnerving bits The room paintings were quite creepy and cleverly done too.

But overall I was fairly disappointed by the whole affair, it could have been played out so much better given the synopsis available.

The Others (2001)

Still One of the Best!

[9/10 · 11 April 2017]

I love this film, so much that I have watched it many times and still never tire of it.

A couple of things do annoy me slightly like some of the plot is just spelt out too obviously but apart from that I really cannot find fault.The acting is very good, even the children - especially Anne are exceptional. The constant low lighting and over panning really help the over all eerie feel and sense of the severity and urgency regarding the children's "condition. It also gives a very claustrophobic feel to the point where you can see how much the lifestyle would drain anyone to the point of distraction. And I genuinely felt for the characters in this one, many emotions portrayed very well. "The twist is fantastic and you really do not see it coming till the end unlike many films that have tried to re create this since.

SO, to sum up-I would recommend this highly to anyone and I don't recommend horrors lightly as I'm very picky and don't frighten easily!

Brave (2012)

Brave the bad reviews- it's worth your time!

[5/10 · 11 April 2017]

Despite many negative views, I decided to watch this movie, mainly due to boredom but also I do love all things Celtic and mythical.I won't go into as much detail as I have with some reviews but just highlight the good, bad and in-between points as I saw them

Firstly, the good: The animation is gorgeous as is the music. I love the backdrop and can related to the freedom of climbing cliffs and standing under waterfalls etc as I have done these things and felt incredible.As someone who loves nature and freedom I felt the main character Merida was not so unbelievable. I actually can relate well to the strenuous relationship she has with her mother and her father being stuck in the middle keeping the peace. The story line starts off very well and has a nice heartwarming and resolved if not predictable ending.There is a good sense of myth, moral and culture which is rare in movies these days. The story is simple but quite clever in a way that everything does still link nicely together if you really look at the imagery. I understand the original title was not "Brave" but "The Bear and the Bow" which is more what it says on the tin but hey. There IS bravery, physical bravery in tackling ones enemies in combat-but also the emotional-to face your own misgivings and admit you are wrong, to be willing to change your close and comfortable outlook on life and take risks,and to always stand up for what you believe in no matter what. Shame some people seemed to have missed this point.

The not so good:

I felt the story line was too predictable (good for kids maybe but adults will guess it almost from the off) and things just fall into place too easily,even the end "battle" is resolved far too quickly & easily. Also, sadly as time advance it becomes a little too silly & gimmicky in parts (Did we really need the naughty siblings- and did we REALLY need them becoming bears!?)or the stock neurotic overweight maid and clumsy,easily swayed but well meaning side characters? Shame because while bringing some comedic relief,all were quite forgettable and served as a tired cliché this movie could have soared without.

It lacks the epic standing the trailers promised. Also, the men are depicted as blundering fools with no looks, sense,or charisma, the ladies- yep, the opposite.(However- it was refreshing to see this in a way as many animations have shown women as weak and feeble totally relying on men and princes- Merida not only does not rely on her version of Mr charming-she shuns the very notion of losing her freedom!)

SO,to sum up- Slightly lacking substance but still a very good family movie.Aesthetically striking,nice and light hearted but with some more moving lesson on attitudes and the value of your friends and loved ones.

Blades of Glory (2007)

No Icy review here!

[4 October 2015]

I love this movie. I have seen it so many times I've lost count. Ridiculous, over the top, hilarious and heartwarming. Brilliant acting and chemistry from the leads and some hilarious one liners all add to the madness and fun. Okay, so the premise is not entirely original but the twist of it being on ice is a fun touch and some of the moves choreographed are epic. The lead males are so ridiculously opposed in personalities but the bond they form is very well carried out and plausible by the end. I recommend anyone who loves off the wall humour sees this, particularly any Ferrell fans out there. A lot of people say this movie is too dumb because the humour is too over the top to be taken seriously.. Yes- it IS tacky, cheesy, over the top in many parts- that's the point. It's supposed to be. Ironically,to those labelling this kind of comedy as suitable only for those with an IQ of zero.. If you can be smart enough in your wits grasp the deliberate nature of this type of humour, you will get it's appeal.

Get Hard (2015)

Funny as hell.

[9/10 · 4 October 2015]

I went to watch this at the cinema without knowing the plot. All i knew was Ferrell, Hart,comedy, very funny. That sold me enough as a fan. This movie had my laughing from literally the first few seconds and the humour didn't let up till the end, in fact the plot became more and more ridiculous and hilarious as the movie progressed. The first movie in ages where the audience, myself included, were really laughing out loud while with our hands over our mouths in shock at some of the dialogue.

Fantastic acting and some really fun memorable characters not only saved the otherwise predictable plot but made it a joy to sit through. Even though you kind of know what to expect next, the executions of each scene are so well carried out and fun that you really don't care and don't have a moment to be bored. Some of the real highlight scenes are the jail break simulation, the yard and the yaught fight and the initation of "Mayo". Watch it.

Tomorrowland (2015)

On the fence with this one

[5/10 · 4 October 2015]

I normally right detailed reviews but this will be more a basic summary.

The good: Stunning visuals. The female lead characters (especially Raffety Cassidy's Athena) are very believable. Hugh Laurie making a comeback was charming. A good, original storyline with a very uplifting quite inspiring ending. Some good action sequences and some good humour adults and older kids/teens will enjoy.A gritty female child character,who I honestly feel outshone the seasoned verterans more often than not. For a little girl she was very edgy and kicked serious ass but had a sweeter more relatable side in the end.

The not so good: The plot was needlessly confusing and did drone on. This is a Disney movie so you really would not expect complication on this level. A grown adult, I was lost for half the movie before I finally grasped where it was going. Too much talk on earth and not enough of "Tomorrowland" itself till the very end, they could have gone more into such a well imagined and stunning world. A shame. Constant plot shifts made keeping up a bit difficult and several characters not really explained.

A word of caution to parents: This is NOT suitable for young children. There is swearing such as "B*****ks" reference to being on drugs, a lot of violence (robots and humans die, get shot at,exploded under globe and run over.(Disney shows more robot violence, worryingly as if this is somehow more acceptable as still violence) Pretty tense action scenes and dialogue in parts. The plot, although with sweet Disney-esque moments, is really not the usual and much more mature and in places would be a bit too dull and complicated for children.There is a hard message delivered by Laurie regarding our social, global and economic state and how we all view life and the world.. good moral message but again a tad dark for the younger viewers.

Just Before I Go (2014)

I fell In love with this one

[10/10 · 4 October 2015]

Okay, I was dubious when someone suggested I watch this movie after simply scanning the synopsis. But I will admit, by the end I'd laughed, cried, felt uplifted, resentful, regretful, guilty and thankful.

The movie starts of a bit dark with the lead role feeling he has nothing to live for, thus deciding to return home and tie up his loose ends before ending his life. A lot to take in within the very early part of a plot.

This plan is going very well till he meets a young woman who decides to document his story via the media of a camcorder and ends up showing him the importance of perspective, selflessness and simply, life. How much your life can shape others, how every person has a story and a reason behind their actions that gets quite deep. Really beautifully executed, warming, emotional and funny with some really thought provoking moments.

Rarely for me, I cannot think of anything I dislike about this title.

The Babadook (2014)

Disappointed

[3/10 · 18 November 2014]

Seeing the trailer I was so hyped for this movie I can't even tell you. I love horrors but am very picky & hard to scare.I found the book really creepy & figured a good soils plot was finally gracing the genre after a long time. Sadly the book is the only scary thing here and soon disappears literally up in smoke like the first half's promise of a gripping and resolved storyline. The beginning is pretty good, you feel the mother's exhaustion, tension and sense of isolation but to be grieving so much after 7 years makes you wonder why its taken 7 years to get this far? It begins to seem far fetched. I grew up with a grieving parent who had tendencies to alcohol and medication abuse abuse and act violently and irrationally then emotionlly so the switch In the mother's persona and sons reaction is relatable if not a bit OTT. I get it, babadook is meant to be the anger a and pain manifested from grief but the execution is poor. The basement scene where she feeds it made me want to put my head in my hands with frustration as it made the whole story ludicrous. The ending is lazy and too soon.. The mother goes mental, her kid stabs and restrains her, she pukes, yells at the babadook then locks it up with her husband's things and pacifies it with bugs her kid catches a after a simple knock on the door makes her snap out of killing her dog and trying to kill her kid, all of which have no further mention or consequence.suddenly she's back at work and back to being the perfect lovely calm person and mother, kid has his birthday, the end. Its kind of a sweet ending to see her pain is managed after she faces her husbands death, again having lost someone I relate to the grief, denial anger and acceptance as well as the vivid nightmares and day hallucinations fro. Grief so this was quite believable but the whole film seemed to be missing something and felt so cliché. They should have gone full horror which would have worked, or marketed this as a drama/psychological thriller to avoid being so misleading. Watch it, but keep an open mind and don't expect too much.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

60% of the time it fails,every time

[2/10 · 24 March 2014]

What can I say? Like many I saw the trailer for this and as filed with slightly doubting excitement and a sense of unease that this would fall prey to the classic terrible sequel fate. I sadly was not mistaken.

The first time I saw Am1 I thought it was pure trash I didn't get it at all. After a few watches I got the humor style and have become a very big fan. From the moment I saw the set up for the plot of Am2- Ron is fired, Veronica is promoted I thought aw man this is going the be a rehash of the first movie, sadly, again- I was not mistaken.

They could have gone down several routes but pretty much re telling the first story just with slightly different angles and characters did nothing for me but make me frustrated to see more development. Legendary scenes like the ott fight scene have just been made so farcical they have almost taken away the joy & humor of the first ones in AM1- explosions, ghosts, guns from the future & werewolves?? I get it was kind of a parody of the first but that made it unbearable drone & predictable. And the kid was just such an irritating addition. I cannot believe Ron with his ego would give up his career for the annoying brat he could hardly relate to initially but there were some almost touching moments to make it slightly feasible.

The blind subplot was ridiculously far fetched even though I get why the put it in, there could have been other ways to make the transition. The humor was so lacking it hurt to watch and only a few small laughs from me & the hubs who is also a huge AM1 fan, we quote it all the time even now. Don't even get me started on the shark idea?! This had no memorable quotes, no laugh out loud comedy of the first, it just felt desperate, tired and trying to hard to milk laughs through repetition of the first ideas and humor but taking it that bit further to the point of making it cringe worthy. Brick swung between pretty hilarious and just dam right scary & annoying this time while the other characters like Brian hardly seemed to give any input. There was more just Ron & Chani- which did not work for me at all.Veronica lost her edge and spent the little time she was on screen whining at Ron to take care of his child. I know trying to recreate some of the jokes like the fight scene and the spin on the aftershave scene, the flute scene which is now on ice,the news team commercials etc etc they were trying to pay homage to they first film kind of like re living fond memories but the execution made the scenes simply appeared to be clutching at straws when this movie didn't need to do so.These scenes in the first film where what made it great- that total random humor that makes you go what??? and crack up laughing at the sheer of the wall style you just didn't see coming. But once seen before, the second time the shock comedy value is lost and it has no originality anymore. The same original crazy unpredictable thrown around humor of the first movie now just looks disjointed and sloppy. I swear this was written by someone half asleep.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

The Slight Irritation Of Smaug

[1/10 · 3 January 2014]

As a LOTR fan,familiar with The Hobbit in literary form since I was a child, When I first saw Fellowship Of The Ring as a teen I was so excited thinking,I really hope someone makes this as a full movie prequel one day..So imagine if you will, my excitement when it was revealed they would in fact be making The Hobbit series. Ater the first, slight let down but still quite true to form.. I clicked on the trailer for this one with huge anticipation- and sadly, this is where it all fell flat.

I just want to point out before going further, that I am the first to defend book to movie format from critics who carp on that there are too many differences blah blah and call for artistic license if something is stated to be "based on" the book and have always made exceptions for this one as well. However,if this film had veered off from day one,it would be less disappointing and I would accept this rule more. That said, the trilogy is very true to Tolkein's form for the best part and that feeling of relief that Jackson and Co had not gone uber-Hollywood back then has sadly died in a pile of ash suited to Smaug himself. Jackson, who gets all mad at people for for using a the Hobbit name/references in an unrelated manner seems to have almost done the very same ironically - he uses the name "The Hobbit" and some characters/places,yet this seems to be where the similarity ends.

So, back to this trailer then, well my first thoughts were: 1.why,is Ed Sheeran singing the music? I love the guy's music but really? is this a Disney movie now? what happened to the beauty and seriousness of Enya and the likes? The style kind of fits the film but it's too pop like. 2.Do we really need a female elf? (unknown male in the book..) Her existence is all too transparent:eye-candy for the boys,some fluffy girl power with pointy ears and a pretty face for the girls. As if that's not bad enough, there is this sickly and horrifically Twilight-esque love triangle between her, Legolas (who also technically does not exist currently..)and a (albeit the only looker) Dwarf? 3. The pronunciation of "Smaug"(the terrible-come-stock dragon style villain for this movie's name sake) got me stumped as they insist it's "smowg" but even hal the film crew call him "smorg"(I always believed it to be pronounced as Smorg (soft augh sound)-though I could well be wrong) 4.Even in the trailers, the spark seems duller and the dialogue more user friendly- by which I mean a kid could have written the script it seems.So this from the off had me concerned to say the least.

So why?- I believe the answer would be, the female teen and young adult male fan-base. sod the main audience who have followed the franchise for decades, they no longer count it seems, it's all about grabbing the kids for a GTA style graphically violent, poorly scripted, rushed FX overkill of a movie.It's nice they have included the youngsters more and all, but why at the risk of the context? This film franchise has still attracted kids in it's true form ( I was a teen first viewing it with many others around us in the cinema) so why alter it's style so much now? I guess due to the way things are generally marketed these days.

Mr Jackson, a 200 million dollar budget- what prey tell, convinced you that you had to CGI a HORSE? Not to mention everything else around? Rushing over parts of the book that are more than relevant and would have been enough to fill the full movie had it been a reasonable hour and a half long say.I am not happy about this but of course, the reason is clear once again- it's to get to the Jackson style "romance" and action sequences that are somewhat bordering on loosing all credibility now. And, just how much of an ego maniac ARE you to have to play a cameo at the start? personally I'd be ashamed to even lend my name to this travesty- let alone my physical presence for all to see. I am so saddened that this beautiful trilogy has finally succumbed to the Hollywood style so near to reaching it's closure. As someone who could not wait to see this film originally, I feel I'd have been better spending my time sticking pins in my eyes for almost 3 hours.

So to sum up, some good parts- yes there were but they were so brief I could barely remember them. Some effects were true to the original but mostly not. It was nice to see the cast but even Gandalf- and I NEVER believed I'd say this- seemed to bumble his way through the storyline like he was on drugs or drunk though I very much doubt this to be due to Sir Ian. And Smaug-He is internally full of fire, how would molten gold HE melted,kill him??No,unsurprisingly it won't- but, Dwarfs are so smart, yes? Terrible ending, of course classic "let's pay to watch the next one cliffhanger" "what have we done" is painfully ironic and would have been the best time for Jackson's cameo-as himself" Cue black screen and Ed Sheeran warbling " "I see Fire." Well,I was seeing red, but it wasn't fire.So, to you Mr Jackson I will say this (not that you will ever see it but it still feels nice to vent and all..)You could not have done this book more injustice if you had opened the spine in the middle, crapped all over it, ripped some pages off to wipe your backside then set the remains on fire. The End. ( And no,I won't be seeing the third unless he wakes from his literary coma and does much better to bring this round..)