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The Entity (1982)
A frightening shock-fest
The Entity is a very effective little horror gem. I will start off with the stuff I did not enjoy. First is the ending which is very cheesy and goes against everything the first part of the film was building towards. And the Film does suffer a bit when they bring in the paranormal investigators come into the story. The acting is serviceable at the least and the musical score is as shocking and excellent. The first part of the film is truly terrifying and scary. The rape scenes are brutal and not for the faint of heart. See this flick if you want to see a good supernatural horror film. Skip it if you are easily disturbed by graphic paranormal violence.
Evil Dead (2013)
On Par with The Thing,The Fly,and Dawn of the Dead
Evil Dead is more of a re-imagining rather than a remake, and to be honest I am glad they went this way. I will start off with the stuff I did not like about this film. The blonde and Jessica Lucas are very forgettable, it's not like they were "bad", just forgettable. And this next one is more of a nit-pick but it will not be the most terrifying film you will ever experience, hell, it may be one of them, but I hardly doubt it will be "THE" most terrifying film you will ever experience. Now I can get to the stuff I liked. Shiloh Fernandez does pretty good acting wise. Jane Levy and Lou Taylor are absolutely amazing. The gore is amazing and even though this might not be the scariest film you ever see, it still has some good scares and shocks and the atmosphere is creepy and unnerving. See this flick if you want to see a horror remake done right. Skip if you are easily grossed out by blood and gore. 9.5/10
[Rec]² (2009)
A Genuine Review of Rec 2
Rec 2 takes a more supernatural approach to the hugely successful Spanish found footage film Rec. So Rec 2 is a lot like Aliens is to Alien, while Rec focused more on creepy atmosphere and tense long moments Rec 2 focuses more on balls to the wall action. Rec 2 continues the story by sending a team of swat members into the building to "contain" the situation. Rec 2 fortunately doesn't spare any scares and incorporates them nicely into the action packed story line. Rec 2 does bring some more religious themes into the mix and I think that is where the American version of Rec and the Spanish version differ, and I think without a doubt that the Spanish version is far superior. See Rec 2 if you want to see an excellent sequel. Skip it if you don't like reading subtitles or POV films.
Suspiria (1977)
A Genuine Review of Suspiria
Suspiria is the 1977 giallo classic directed by Dario Argento. So for those of you who don't know giallo is a style of film making that takes pride in bright colors,inventive shots,and blood,lots and lots of bright red blood. So Suspiria is about a girl who travels to a very famous ballet school.On the night of her arrival we are treated to a very tense and scary kill sequence.Things go from bad to worse as she slowly finds out that an evil coven of witches is using the school as a cover and their base of operations. Suspiria is a wonderful film that is both truly scary and chock full of gore.Suspiria also has a haunting soundtrack courtesy of the Italian progressive rock band,Goblin. See Suspiria if you love horror films and realize that horror film can excel to a true form of art and fine art at that.Skip this if you don't love horror films,this is an absolute must for any horror film fan. 10/10
The Raven (2012)
A Genuine Review of The Raven
The Raven is a 2012 horror film starring John Cusack as Edgar Allen Poe. So The Raven is about a killer patterning his murders after Poe's books. The Raven suffers from bad acting and overacting, but I think Luke Evans did a fair job. The Raven takes it self a tad to seriously and that is also a main problem. The las complaint is that the reveal is not very satisfying.Some of The Raven's strong points are the kills and the atmosphere it creates.I also wish that they had taken the time to make this more about the chills and less about the gore. Overall this film is good to watch,but you may be a little disappointed. See this flick if you want to see Saw in the 1800s. Skip it if you were looking for a horror flick with more substance and meaning. 6.5/10
Army of Darkness (1992)
A Genuine Review of Army of Darkness
Army of Darkness is the third film in the "Evil Dead" trilogy. So Army of Darkness is the third film in the series and it is by far the cheesiest and the most comedic. Army of Darkness follows the events of Evil Dead 2. To sum everything up Ash ends up in Med-Evil times and he must lead the "Screwheads" into battle against an army of darkness.Army of darkness is the ultimate in camp horror. The film knows that it is cheesy and it runs with it.Honestly, Army of Darkness is so tongue in cheek that you could show it to kids and they would get a kick out of it. I love this film with every ounce of my heart, and the only problem with it,for me, is that I wanted it to be just a tad more serious and the fact that it doesn't quite live up to the second or the original. 9/10
Evil Dead II (1987)
A Genuine Review of The Evil Dead II
The Evil Dead 2 is a fantastic sequel to an already excellent original. Evil Dead 2 is sort of like a sequel/remake if that makes any sense. Evil Dead 2 is about Ash heading up to an isolated cabin in the forest with his girlfriend for a little R and R. Things go from 0 to 60 when Ash decides to read a passage from an ancient,evil book. Then we are introduced to a group of people that are also headed to the cabin to research the book when they find a bloodied Ash spinning strange tales of possession and death. Soon the vengeful demons come back for another round but this time the group is prepared and they put up quite a fight.I personally like this one better than the original but that is just me. If you are a horror comedy fan see this flick, you will love it. 10/10
The Evil Dead (1981)
A Genuine Review of The Evil Dead
In honor of the new Evil Dead remake I will be reviewing the original Evil Dead trilogy. Evil Dead is the 1981 horror classic directed by Sam Raimi. Many people think that The Evil Dead is more comedic like it's brother,Evli Dead 2, but the original Evil Dead is quite scary. Evil Dead is about a group of friends who go to a isolated cabin deep in the woods and are attacked by an evil force. Evil Dead has a very distinct feel to it sort of a realistic tone to it. Evil Dead not only gave us the "Cabin In the Woods" genre but it also gave us one of the grooviest horror movie heroes ever Ashley or "Ash" if you prefer. This is one of the best,scariest films ever created. The only problem I can imagine one having with this film is that it is dated and very campy. Other than that it is a near perfect film. 9.5/10
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
A Genuine Review of A Nightmare on Elm St
A Nightmare on Elm St is a remake of the classic 1984 film. A Nightmare on Elm St almost strikes the offensive chord,and the only thing that saves it from being a complete disaster is an impressive performance from Jackie Earle Haley.I will start off by saying that the original is my all time favorite horror film and it is very near and dear to my heart. This remake kills everything that I loved about the original and I think that might be why I hate it so much.The film is similar to the original in many ways and that is not where the problem lies.In fact the problem is that they change so much of the good things and replace them with every trope that we have seen a million times over.The performances are pretty weak and nothing really stands out as good,just OK. So all in all if you like a lot of the newer remakes you will probably like this one. If you are like me then stick with the original. 2/10
Aliens (1986)
A Genuine Review of Aliens
Aliens is 1986 science fiction/horror/action sequel directed by James Cameron. So Aliens is widely considered one of the best science fiction films of that period of time and one of the best sequels ever made. Aliens is the story of Ripley and a group of space marines that head to distant planet to investigate strange incidents. Little do the marines know that there are dangerous aliens roaming the buildings around them. The film sacrifices most of it's atmospheric qualities for a far more action packed punch that I personally prefer.I have absolutely no problem with this film,even if I try and knit-pick.I can not think of anyone that will not enjoy this film it is a complete and total masterpiece. 10/10
Slither (2006)
A Genuine Review of Slither
Slither is a 2006 Horror Comedy film written and directed by James Gunn.So Slither is pretty much a giant homage to the Creature Features of the 50s and the Splatter Flicks of the 80s. Slither is about a meteor that crashes in a small town and infects one of the town folks with a strange needle like alien bug. What ensues is carnage,mayhem,and gross out comedy. The only problem I have with slither is that it has been done many many times before. Slither excels due to the director and the cast mainly.See this flick if you like splatter movies that are awesome and bloody.Skip this if you are easily grossed out and hate the films that this movie is paying homage to. 8.5/10
Ravenous (1999)
A Genuine Review of Ravenous
Ravenous is a 1999 Horror Comedy and while it may not be very funny it is scary good.Ravenous has some really strong star power pushing it and I think that helps the film a great deal.One of the films many strong points is it's very creepy and unusual soundtrack which I absolutely love. The film also showcases very good performances from Robert Carlyle and Jeffery Jones. The film spares no expense when it comes to gore and blood as the whole film is about cannibalism and murder. If there is a problem I had with the film is that it got a little cheesy at points and that some of the comedy was not very funny at points, but that is that.See this flick if you like blood,guts,and gore.Skip it if you are disgusted easily and if you find the tale of Wendigo boring. 8.5/10
Dog Soldiers (2002)
A Genuine Review of Dog Soldiers
Dog Soldiers is an excellent British horror film from mastermind director Niel Marshall.Dog soldiers is a perfect blend of horror,comedy,and action.I would like to start off by saying that my only problem is that some of the jokes and slang were a bit hard to figure out,but other than that this is a 10 point film. Dog Soldiers is about a group of British soldiers that embark on a routine training mission in the wilderness,only to be attacked by a brutal pack of werewolves. The film has an original concept,great gore,great acting,and great direction.The wolves look top notch and have a nightmarish quality to them.This is what you get if you splice Predator,Aliens,and An American Werewolf in London together,with a nice splash of Evil Dead to boot. See this flick if you like a good horror film that has true heart put into it.Skip it if you don't like fun horror films with a serious bite. 9.5/10
The 13th Warrior (1999)
A Genuine Review of The 13th Warrior
13th Warrior is a 1999 action/horror film directed by John McTiernan. So the 13th warrior is based off a book called the "Eaters of the Dead" and I my self have never read the book. The film is about a banished poet who teams up with 12 viking warriors to travel to a distant land and banish an ancient evil. We are soon treated to some very cool action scenes involving the cannibals and the vikings. The film is silly yes but I think in this case all the actors turn in very some very impressive performances and it blends perfectly with the silly action. If I had one problem with this film it is that there is no real evidence of character development for Antonio Banderas's character,it just sort of happens. See this flick if you enjoy action movies like Aliens and Predator.Skip if you dislike silly action movies that are fun and bloody. 8.5/10
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010)
A Genuine Review of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is a 2011 horror film Directed by Troy Nixey. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark could have been a whole lot better, but I feel that it was more of a win than a fail,just by a little bit. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is about creepy creatures that are living in a hidden dungeon type place and they are released by a little girl. What starts out as curiosity soon turns to terror as the little girl is tormented by the evil little beasts. The film ends up being just OK and I think that was my biggest complaint.There is not anything really bad in the film, but there just not anything that stands out as good either. See this flick and decide for your self, you may like it,you may not.Skip it if you were looking for another Del Torro master piece. 6/10
Primal Force (1999)
A Genuine Review of Primal Force
Primal Force is a 1999 straight to video hidden gem. Yes Primal Force is a bad movie but here is why I love it. First I treasured the times this would come on the old Syfy channel and it was a big part of my child hood. Secondly I think that the actors know this is a silly movie,I think the director knows this is a silly movie, but they have fun with it and that is what really matters. I think the special EFx are energetic and reminiscent of a time long gone. Of course the film is very silly and not for people who want to see a serious flick, this is very much a Saturday night B movie. See this flick (if you can find it) if you like cheesy B movies with some class. Skip it if you hate cheesy B movies about killer animals. 8/10
Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)
A Genuine Review of Jack Brooks Monster Slayer
Jack Brooks is a 2007 indie horror comedy. So Jack Brooks starts out with something that will make sense later in the film, but then it explains that Jack is just a troubled soul who saw his family massacred by a forest troll. Jack has a serious anger problem, he works as a plumber by day and attends night school at night. One day Jack's teacher asks him to fix one of his pipes, and by accident Jack unleashes a terrible force that posses the teacher and turns him in to a ravenous monster. Jack Brooks is what you get if you stick Evil dead,Hell Boy, and Slither in a blender and hit the "On" button. Jack Brooks isn't anything really really good, but it is really really fun. If you go into this film with the right expectations, you will come out more than happy. See this flick if you like cheesy over the top fun in the vein of the Evil Dead trilogy. Skip this if you are not in the mood for a stupid fun blood-fest. 7/10
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)
A Genuine Review of Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters
Just let me tell you folks something in advance,if your looking for an an Oscar worthy movie,you aren't going to find it here. Hansel and Gretel is a fun,dumb theme park ride,nothing more,nothing less. The film is telling the traumatic after affects of the "Ginger Bread House Incident" and to be honest,I kinda like the way they went with this. The film has some very unique things to it like the whole diabetes thing (if you have seen the film,you now what I am talking about),and the whole thing with the Trolls was kind of cool for me. Essentially the film is like a bloody Van Helsing meets Army of Darkness and it is really proud of it to. The acting is bad and so is the dialog but you know what,it is supposed to be, and you have to go into this film with the right attitude. See this flick if your looking for a senseless action flick. Skip it if you hate so bad they are good movies that are over the top and bloody. 7/10
Sinister (2012)
A Genuine Review of Sinister
Sinister is a 2012 horror film directed and co-written by Scott Derikson. Sinister is a terrifying film that is truly scary in every sense of the word.I thought that the film was also scary by using an ingenious and truly creepy soundtrack.I love that they set up enough back story for the spirit while still leaving a lot of mystery. A lot of people didn't like this film because of the ending but i felt that the ending was perfect,I love a horror film that is not afraid to end on an unexpected note of terror.If you like slow-burn horror films that are interesting and scary see this flick. If you like more action and happy endings you might want to skip this one. 8/10
The Collector (2009)
A Genuine Review of The Collector
The Collector is a 2009 horror film directed and written by Marcus Dunstan.The film starts out with a killing and ends with a killing but that is besides the point. The premise is the one thing that sorta saves this for me,the whole Home Alone meets Saw is kind of cool. I think that the film would have been better if it didn't come out during the age of the torture porn film. I also like the Collector,I think he is an interesting slasher. The main problem with the film for me is that it seems to be to worried about the kills and the torture and less about the characters and the film as a whole. See this film if you like gross kills and a good atmosphere.Skip it if you dislike torture porn films or if you want a good entertaining slice and dice. 4/10
Cloverfield (2008)
A Genuine Review of Cloverfield
Cloverfield is a 2008 POV horror film. Cloverfield starts out by introducing us to some pretty annoying twenty somethings having a going away party for one of their friends. That is when this movie really kicks off as something unknown is attacking the city. The friends then embark on a dangerous trek across the city to save one of their friends. The creature design is truly original and fantastic.The film has some truly tense moments and takes the found footage effect to great lengths.If I had a problem with the film it would be that the characters are a little generic, but that is just a small problem. See this film if you like POV films done right. Skip this if you get sick from the shaky cam. 3.5/4
Wrong Turn 5 (2012)
A Genuine Review of Wrong Turn 5
In Wrong Turn 5 a group of kids headed to a music festival run smack dab into the local inbred hill billies.Wrong Turn;great,Wrong Turn 2;great,Wrong Turn 3;bad,Wrong Turn 4;bad,Wrong Turn 5;bad.What do Wrong Turn 3-4 have in common?The were all directed by Declan O'Brien. Wrong Turn 5 is just so dumb that it doesn't even know what it is doing or what it wants to be. Are the killers smart or dumb? They are portrayed as inbred and dumb,but then they are setting up elaborate traps to kill the towns folk.Yeah the movie produces some good nudity but I fell thats all Mr.O'Brien focuses on that and bad gore.Even the movie itself,does it want to be a so bad it is good horror film,or a serious horror film. Some of the highlights include a good performance by Doug Bradley and well,that is it. Maybe if Declan would focus more on the film and less on the nudity and fake gore,then he might just do this fallen franchise some justice.If you want to see a bad horror film then see this.If you think that 4 and 3 were bad then skip this one. 1/4
Friday the 13th (1980)
A Genuine Review of Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th is a classic 80s slasher flick, but I don't see whats so classic about it. Friday the 13th is widely accepted as one of the best slasher films of the 80s and one of the best horror films of all time,and I think that makes me dislike just that much more.Friday the 13th is a tale about a mother seeking revenge for her son who drowned at a camp because the counselors were busy smoking pot and having sex. The film showcases bad writing uninteresting characters and a silly premise that I personally found hard to buy into.Some of the highlights include the deaths,particularly one involving a young Kevin Bacon.I can understand how people might think this is good,even great but just not for me.If you feel like I do stick with a far better slasher flick called The Burning 2/4
Piranha 3D (2010)
A Genuine Review of Piranha
Piranha is a 2010 horror film featuring blood,gore,and nudity,lots and lots of nudity. The film starts out with a very cool cameo involving Richard Dreyfuss. Essentially an earth quake opens up an underground lake and unleashes scores of ancient,man eating piranhas,and when did the earth decide to puke up these swimming horrors,right in the middle of spring break.Now it's up to the sheriff,and an eclectic group of heroes to save the day.There is a very cool scene involving scores of teens getting slaughtered in creative and entertaining ways.Some of the problems I had with the film was that it got a little to silly at some points,one of those points was Jerry O'Connell's death.If you love splatter movies in the tradition of 70s and 80s horror films,see this film.If you hate silly movies that are over the top and so bad they are good skip this one. 3/4
Chronicle (2012)
A Genuine Review of Chronicle
Chronicle is a 2012 action POV film. Chronicle begins by showing us the hard life of Andrew, an outcast senior as he gets ready for school. Personally I am tired of all the POV, but I always love it when something fresh is brought to the screen. This film makes the audience connect and sympathize with Andrew and when he is happy so are you, when he is hurt so are you.I love the 3 main characters and I think they did an above average job.If I had one problem with the film it would be that the progression of Andrew as he goes from bad to worse is a little to fast and he hurts his friends for no reason.The Film is excellent and deserves to be watched time and time again.Watch this flick if you like POV, or if you like deep,complex characters with a rich interesting take on a superhero movie. If you don't like POV films this is not as bad as others but it still might make you sick. 3.5/4