bigtrain45 Reviews

Planet Terror (2007)

Relentless violence

[2/10 · 9 January 2024]

I wonder what kind of interpersonal relationships Rodriguez and Tarantino have. All of their movies are full of nothing but blood and gore, women are relentlessly belittled and abused, and the "plot" is virtually nonexistent. Just one scene of inhuman violence followed by another. All that matters is the body count. There is no love, no empathy, no sympathy, no humanity. I dare you to leave this on in front of your dog or cat. They will attack you in your sleep after watching this piece of crap. If you insist on watching it, have a drinking game. A shot of Jager for every severed limb, a shot of Tequila for every disembowelment. A shot of Jack for every gratuitous death.

Too Scared to Scream (1984)

Lots of screaming

[4/10 · 24 August 2023]

The title is complete BS. Every victim or near victim screams her head off, even the policewoman played by Anne Archer. This is NYC in the gritty, filthy 80's. Peep shows in Times Square, fashion models by day, call girls by night. Deranged doorman quoting Shakespeare, his mute mother a study in barely controlled terror. The acting is mediocre, as is the writing. Plus, a young and lovely Anne Archer, Minus, a past his prime Mike Connors. Plus, a couple of the model/call girls get naked. Minus, one of their dirty old man clients nearly naked in the sauna. Overall, not terrible, and certainly not good, but reasonably entertaining.

The Bridge: Pilot (2013) Season 1, Episode 1

Like plot holes? This episode is for you.

[4/10 · 7 November 2022]

Diane Kruger's character's OCD is not endearing. Her clumsy interview with a homicide victim's husband makes it clear that her superior would never send her to do that kind of thing. A young Mexican woman is kidnapped by being tossed into the trunk of a man's car. When her kidnapper has to stop at the border crossing back into the US, she makes no attempt to get the border guard's attention by pounding on the trunk, nor does she manage to find the inside trunk release, a requirement on all American cars of the time. There are just too many stereotypes here, from the OCD cop to her world weary boss to the sardonic Mexican detective. Adios.

The Wild Racers (1968)

Typical American International mediocrity

[4/10 · 19 July 2022]

The movie opens with a mish mash of stock car crashes, on asphalt, on dirt, at demolition derbies, etc., with a voiceover of how bad Fabian's character is as a driver and he's been banned from racing NASCAR. So now he goes slumming in Europe, racing Formula One. Yeah, sure. The most sophisticated level of motorsports happily welcomes a reject from a 3rd rate Americn series.

The racing scenes are ok, but poorly edited with no continuity. One second you're at Brands Hatch, the next you're at Zandvoort, then suddenly it's the Nurburgring. Fabian can''t act, he can just be Fabian.

Pool Party '15 (2020)

Not at all what you're expecting.

[7/10 · 12 June 2021]

With a title like this you might expect a lot of models topless in a pool and drunk sex play, but there's none of that here. This is not a cheap Hollywood production, but an indie movie with real-looking people and lots of dialogue. Yes, beer is consumed and weed is smoked, but it's all convivial and designed to move the story along, such as it is. It's all people in their late 20's who talk little about their jobs, just a little more about their ambitions, and mostly about their friendships. The hostess has a pool and invites her friends over on a Saturday for a pool party. They are all normal looking and look like the baristas, waiters, and office drones you see every day, at least when there's no pandemic. There is no real plot, just friends hanging out at the pool. Dialogue is decent as is the acting.

The Deadly Look of Love (2000 TV Movie)

Absolutely Preposterous

[1/10 · 3 January 2021]

Vincent Spano's character is engaged to the rich and stunning Jayne Heitmeyer, and somehow he finds pinch-face shrimp Jordan Ladd, who looks like she's about 15, worth fooling around with, risking his future fortune? Sure. I know guys can be pigs, but the casting is terrible. It would be much easier to believe that if he was engaged to the mousy Ladd he'd be seriously hot for a woman like Heitmeyer. And Mimi Kuzyk plays Heitmeyer's mother? They're only 8 years apart in real ife. And we're supposed to believe the barely 5' Ladd overpowers and kills the 5'9" Heitmeyer, badass superwoman of so may sci-fi shows? Don't waster your time.

Restored Me (2016)

Welcome to cliche canyon

[3/10 · 29 October 2020]

This looks like a film school project for at least three people. Animation sequences for one person's project, a pseudo music video for that person's project, and a tedious redemption story for the main person's project. Protagonist is a high school basketball star whose gym bag is suddenly found to contain a quantity of cocaine. Off to jail he goes for 8 years even though it's his first offense. He gets out, and the cliches come faster that the banter at the restored movie theater where he gets a job. Lots of religion, with a too-sweet segment with his daughter auditioning for "American Idol" singing at church, and all those tiresome bible cliches. The whole thing was shot in less than 3 weeks, and looks it. One of my favorite unappreciated and under utilized actors is in this, and she was fine, as were all of the minor players. Too bad they didn't have better scenes to do.

Lost Resort (2020)

This is where the world ends

[1/10 · 30 August 2020]

This is what happens when you get a bunch of the most ignorant, yet confident, people together to stare at themselves in the mirror and love what they see. New age bs, pseudo-Christianity, special foods, and more bs than you'd find at a cattle ranch. Just move along. If you're between 25 and 40, you already know these people.

Laurel Canyon (2020)

A trip into the past with a great soundtrack

[9/10 · 9 June 2020]

In the years this documentary covers, I went from 15 to 25. I listened to these songs on the radio, bought the albums, and went to the concerts. It was a time of explosive creativity in pop music of all kinds, from England to Motown to Nashville to San Francisco and L. A., and Laurel Canyon was the epicenter of everything happening in L. A. As the documentary shows, the singer/songwriters and bands all found their way to a close knit community, where they fed each other's creative juices, and made a lot of memorable music. Clearly it was quite a project, as there are interviews from many years past with artists long dead. It was great to see one of my favorite bands, Love, get a fair amount of attention, but I don't see how the band Spirit got no mention at all. They did some of the most creative music of the time, and their guitarist, Randy California, invented various devices that are now incorporated into every electric guitar made. The band's chief composer, Jay Ferguson, is still doing tv and movie scores today. Highly recommended, especially for those of you unaware of what went on in that place at that time.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.: The Girls of Nazarone Affair (1965) Season 1, Episode 28

Excellent episode

[8/10 · 16 March 2015]

This episode contains excellent footage of one of the all-time classic cars, the Cobra roadster in its racing form. The car is one of the all-time most successful racecars of its type in history, and is seldom seen even in classic TV shows like this. The plot line is sufficiently interesting, with THRUSH working on a miracle drug that can heal anything and is demonstrated early in the show. There are also several beautiful young women in the show, including the tragic Sharon Tate. The action scenes, especially the scene of the racing Cobra, are excellent. Highly recommended for those who like classic cars and classically beautiful women from the mid 60's.

The Speed Lovers (1968)

Just hideous

[23 August 2011]

Lame plot, lousy acting, and hideously exploitative. All of the racing scenes, regardless of what is said, is all from the same Daytona race. Same crashes, same shots, over and over. How they got Fred Lorenzen to get in on this is beyond me. This is the worst movie with racing as a setting I have ever seen, and I've seen most of them. No surprise that most of these people never made another movie. Whoever wrote this should have been tied behind one of these cars and dragged around the track for about 500 miles. There is nothing good to say about any of the actors, editors, or anyone else. The music is horrible too, and plot is pathetically predictable. Throw the red flag on this one, and avoid it at all costs.

The Lickerish Quartet (1970)

Just one reason to watch

[8/10 · 12 December 2005]

The plot is kind of silly, and the flashbacks to WWII make no real sense. But Silvana Venturelli is lovely, stunning, coy, flirtatious, and relentlessly hot. She is the only real reason to watch this movie, so, enjoy. The so-called plot involves a husband, wife and adult son watching a cheap porno at home one night and all becoming fascinated with the hot female star (Venturelli.) The next night (apparently) they go to a local circus and see a girl who looks just like the star riding a motorcycle around the wall of death. Except that she is brunette while the star of the film is blonde. They invite her back to their mansion where she pulls off her dark wig and all sorts of fun ensues. The acting, writing, and plot are lame, but it's all worth the trouble for the scene in the library. Enjoy.