ihearthorrorfilm Reviews

The Scary of Sixty-First (2021)

Qanon Propaganda

[1/10 · 11 January 2022]

Not only is this movie propaganda, it's also stupid and gross. The girl that wrote and directed this is bff's with Alex Jones. There's even a picture of them together on the movie images.

Besides all the obvious salutes to conspiracy theories, the movie is embarrassing and poorly executed. There are so many scenes of the girl masturbating in the most ridiculous manner, it's not even clever, just gratuitous. The characters are annoying and shallow. This movie is shameful, but I can see why the trump supporters are in love with it.

Pass on this if you have half a brain and aren't obsessed with info wars.

Old (2021)

He's a master storyteller

[10/10 · 25 September 2021]

M Night's movies are brilliant. They are telling a story. I don't care about anything else except for the story. There's too many movies being made that are regurgitations of movies made a decade ago. M Night's movies take me back to a time when movies told you a story. And he manages to do it every time. I loved this movie. It was so good. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

Thrill-ride that gives you everything you wanted from the first film, but didn't get!

[10/10 · 18 July 2014]

How could a sequel to a film that was released exactly one year ago be any good? This was the question I asked myself as I tiredly sat in line pondering whether I should just go home and wait till at the very least, it's theatrical release. Especially considering the first Purge was somewhat of a let down for me. I guess it's because the first one was purely exciting and terrifying because the idea was so perverse. It was the idea that really sold the tickets, but the film itself, seemed to not deliver to the expectations.

After watching The Purge: Anarchy, it became very clear why.

In the first film, we were sold by all the trailers, which successfully put the idea in our heads, leaving us brainwashed and nightmare-ring about "what would I do?"

The first film focused on a wealthy neighborhood and a wealthy family with an unlimited supply of resources. A storyline showcasing that all the money in the world couldn't protect them from The Purge… But in all honestly, could the average horror viewer relate to that situation or anyone for that matter?

This is where the sequel comes in to blow the roof off the first film. Where the first film failed, Purge: Anarchy not only resolves, but also opens up a whole new realm of fear I had not strung together under the circumstances.

The sequel puts into perspective the idea of what the purge would look like from multiple story lines that are not only realistic and relatable but are nonstop and completely unpredictable. I was on the edge of my seat the entire film, beginning to end. Very rarely do I get scared once a movie is over, but I was a hot mess on the way home especially coming down from the adrenaline high from being visually anxious for almost 2 hours straight!

There were so many things I loved about this film. The characters were all very well written, most of which were wildcards and constantly keeping the audience guessing. I was incredibly impressed that the film knew how to be violent without being gratuitous. There were so many scenes that could have easily been bloody and gross, but they kept it conservative enough that it made you rely on your imagination, which often made the film much more horrifying in my opinion.

It's been some time since I got this excited over a film in the theater but I really can't say a single bad thing about this incredible thrill- ride. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND seeing this film ASAP! The sound of that machine gun still haunts me 2 weeks later… GO SEE IT NOW!

The Signal (2014)

Damn Good Film!

[9/10 · 13 June 2014]

I had the privilege of attending a screening of The Signal that included an open Q&A with the director/writer, William Eubank. To be quite honest, up until an hour before the screening, I knew nothing about what I was about to view. I quickly logged on to IMDb to watch the trailer in hopes that I was going to see something awesome. The trailer did not assure me that I would and gave me the impression I was going to see some sort of artsy drama about young lovers. We've grown accustom as horror aficionados to having the trailers ruin films for us, but The Signal could not be farther from the norm.

Having a budget of just under 4 million, Mr. Eubank has proved that creative writing and talented direction still exists in Hollywood. Now I will warn you that this film just scrapes the surface of the horror genre, but its fresh Sci-Fi storyline and my personal fear of intelligent life outside of Earth, makes it worth considering.

There are so many things I want to tell you about this film, but it is just not worth giving anything away. All you need to know is that William Eubank has done what Hollywood can't with a budget that is a joke when compared to the over-bloated film industry.

The special effects are phenomenal, but it's the camera work and direction that really delivers. Although as much as I loved the imagery and action sequences, I have to say that the dialogue is very tasty. There were some lines that made me think Mr. Eubank was channeling Tarantino. That might be a stretch to some, but come on… When you've got Fishburne in your cast, you know you're going to have some quality dialogue. Plus, if you're a die-hard fan of Event Horizon, it's impossible not to get a few shivers from the connection… Which is the one question I didn't get to ask the director!

So we can go back and forth on whether this film is hardcore horror, but regardless, The Signal is an awesome film that is worth paying the outrageous theater ticket prices for. I'm confident that whether this film scares you are not, you'll still love it. That being said, please go see this film!!

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Here Comes the Devil (2012)

I'm still unable to get it out of my head

[9/10 · 9 January 2014]

Once in a while, you come across a horror film that is not really a horror film but actually a disturbing drama that can only be categorized as horror because after you view it, you feel slightly mind raped. Here Comes the Devil is a perfect example of that occurrence. The film starts of with a graphic lesbian sex scene, shortly followed by another sex scene between the lead characters that is graphic due to the dialogue and the way in which it's shot, which is incredibly uncomfortable and creepy. I want to shed light on these scenes because although I usually hate graphic sex scenes in horror movies, these scenes are necessary to the storyline and overall ambiance of the film. I saw this film about a week ago and it is still clouding my head with all the disturbing imagery and bizarre things that go on in the story. It's one that you don't realize how disturbing it is until the following day when you're bombarded by the fact that you were traumatized by what you saw. You'll literally (figuratively? Whatever) feel like you've been roofied after you watch it. There's one scene in particular, where the parents seek revenge, which is so gory and understandably realistic, that I haven't been able to get it out of my head since I've seen it. Here Comes The Devil is a possession themed horror movie that successfully goes in brand new, original directions that I can promise you, you've never seen in any horror film prior to this gem. For the die-hard foreign horror seekers, you DO NOT want to miss this soon-to-be classic.

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The Warning (I) (2012)

Not bad if you're a fan of FF films

[6/10 · 9 January 2014]

It seems this film has had multiple titles, but I believe it's been settled on The Warning. A found footage film coming from the UK that mainly consists of surveillance footage mixed in with hand-held footage in between seeing back-story footage taking place in a hospital. Although it has a somewhat slow and rocky first half, the film picks up slightly in pace and ends just the way you'd expect it to, not just because you know from the narrative in the first shot telling you so, but because if you choose to watch this film, you're pretty much an expert on how found footage themed films end. Hence the 'found' to your footage. Although it's not the greatest in the genre, it's still somewhat entertaining if you're into this style of film. If you absolutely loathe this style of horror film then don't even give this one another thought because again, nothing new and nothing super special. Just a good Ol' fashion FF film for the fans that get a kick out of this style of horror.

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The Human Race (2013)

Ignore all the haters please!

[10/10 · 9 January 2014]

The first thing you need to know about this film is that it is low- budget, funded by a kickstarter project and it doesn't have a single person in it that is known in the movie world. That being said, this film is a brilliant indie that deserves to be in the spot-light. Smart, creative, well-made and seriously dark and disturbing, The Human Race restores my faith in filmmaking and the movie industry. Although this film is not for the film-goer who can only see films with bloated budgets and celebra-whores, the movie goers that do appreciate a film that takes risks and takes the honest yet disturbing route of displaying characters in ways that you're definitely not use to seeing, you will love and appreciate this film as much as I did. This film takes the classic Battle Royale storyline and pulls it deeper into the horror genre by showing a much darker side of the survival of the fittest as well as creating imagery that borders on comic book fantasy. Setting aside the awesome storyline and the genius way in which the film tells the tale, the director/writer respectfully showcases characters that are disabled yet are the strongest competitors and yet are also the weakest. I am in serious awe of this film and I hope others will enjoy it and see it for what it is as much as I do.

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Banshee Chapter (2013)

The parts meant to be scary... Yeah, they scared me

[7/10 · 9 January 2014]

I'm definitely on the fence about how I feel about this film. On the one side, every scene that was meant to be scary, scared the poop out of me 100 percent. But, on the other side, every thing in between I found to be a little confusing and well, Blah. I was really confused by the misconception of the film being a found-footage film, when only the first few minutes were actual found footage themed. The rest of the film, which is shot found footage style i.e. guerilla style, is only that. I kept thinking that another person was filming the main character, but it ended up just being the way the film is shot. I think most of you will understand what I'm referring to once you watch it. My other beef with this film is that the story is all over the place making it hard to follow. I found myself tuning out every now and again because the main character was super blah and I had a hard time understanding what she was doing half the time. But regardless of the story and actors, this film is effing SCARY! Every few minutes, something would happen that was so horrifying that the images are burned into my brain. The creepy music and the subject matter is enough to get you past the annoying things and help to keep you focused on the reasons you came upon The Banshee Chapter in the first place. I swear to you that on more than one occasion during this film, I let out yelp/scream in many of the scenes. You know that noise that comes out of your body that you were completely unaware you were capable of making, until you are scared to the point that all cards are on the table. Yeah, this film did that to me multiple times throughout. So did I think this was a movie with a great story, no… not really. But do I think you should watch it if you love being scared, Absa-frickin-lootly!

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Vampire (I) (2011)

Sadly... Disappointed

[5/10 · 9 January 2014]

I'm always interested in vampire films that are original and stay true to the complexity of a blood sucker surviving in the modern world and yet is able to refrain from being whatever Twilight was all about. 'Vampire' is definitely an interesting take on the genre, which focuses on a young science teacher who preys on girls looking to commit suicide. The most interesting thing about this film is how the vampire himself seems to be surrounded by crazy people and I'm not talking about his victims. The sane characters are the depressed people looking for death and the other characters all seem to have personality disorders or are psychopaths, which then makes the lead seem that much more of a nice guy. The film starts out really interesting and has a very cool cast of actors that are well known in connection to the horror genre, but the film begins to fizzle out when it goes from drama to art-house drama about halfway through. Then, the film continually drags with scenes that are unnecessarily too long to be entertaining. The weirdest part is the long list of Horror veterans with crazy small parts throughout the film that go nowhere. Kind of a huge disappointment, but Vampire doesn't deliver the horror as much as it smothers you with drama.

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Antisocial (I) (2013)

IMDb reviewers need to lighten up... It's a FUN film to watch!

[7/10 · 29 December 2013]

A Canadian thriller/horror film that plays with the idea of social media spreading a deadly virus. 5 friends get together for a new years eve party but plans change when news of violence and murder spreads like wild fire around their city. I would be lying if I didn't tell you how much fun I had watching this unoriginal, over-done type film, but I did. Even though this style of film has been done a million times over, when its done with quality tools, it's still just as entertaining as the rest. This one gets bonus points for having a really awesome musical score as well as an ending that forced me to remember the thing I loved most about 'Prometheus' (DIY abortion vs. DIY lobotomy). I also have to point out the slight guilt I felt in regards to the subject of social media in conjunction with human addiction and it's vulnerability to mind control. I like to think in my mind that I'm intellectually above the addiction of social media and yet, here I am! Any film that pokes at me and makes me feel like the very thing I think I'm not, gets an A+ in my book… Anyhoo, Antisocial is a fun zombie-esque type film that is both delightfully entertaining and gory. It's not an amazing film, but it is definitely worth your time if you enjoy end-of-the-world themed films. And again, bonus points for the kick ass music throughout!

Found (III) (2012)

Not for the weak minded & stomached viewer!

[8/10 · 17 November 2013]

A young boy's love and curiosity for horror films is blurred by the reality of his older brother being a serial killer. Not as fast paced as what you might be use to, but the story is one that just won't quit. Once it finally picks up after the characters are developed, it then turns into a heinous horror film that is insanely disturbing. Even though a lot of the gore was low budget and poor quality, I was completely rattled and nauseous all the same. This is a one-of-a-kind film that goes up and down in speed, eventually ending with a conclusion so unbelievable and disturbing you'll be left speechless. If you're mature enough to watch a film that has low production value, but makes up for it with a stellar story then you are in for a treat with found… An upsetting, traumatizing, dark and disturbing, treat. Let me be clear, this is not for the emotionally weak viewer. This film deals and portrays some heavy subject matter. It pretty much touches on everything disturbing in the world from racism to necrophilia to devouring a child's innocence. Again, not for the weak minded viewer!

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Butcher Boys (2012)

Great Indie Horror film for TC-Massacre fans

[8/10 · 10 October 2013]

Alas, another great indie horror film with a ridiculously low rating on IMDb. This means that fans of the genre will possibly overlook this insanely terrifying and deliciously, bizarre horror film. The genius behind the original Texas Chainsaw, Kim Henkel is responsible for this film, which is referred to as the 'spiritual sequel' to The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974). And to be completely honest with you, Butcher Boys does what none of the Chainsaw franchise could do. It terrified me exactly the way the original film did, which is pretty remarkable. The flow of Butcher Boys was so unexpected, that I was on edge the entire time, as well as feeling confused about what the hell was going on as I was decades ago when I watched TC- Massacre for the first time. Do not listen to any of the other critics or haters in regards to this film. I am completely annoyed by the ignorant reviews that badmouth this great indie. If you love horror/thriller films that focus on making you feel a combination of fear and confusion, then you will have a real good time with Butcher Boys. My only issue with this film is the sound editing. There were way too many scenes where the dialogue was drowned out by other sounds; it was very frustrating. But that's still not enough to disregard this very entertaining film. I also want to point out that this film had 9 cameo appearances by members of the original TC-Massacre franchise, which is pretty bad-ass for fans of the original. I think this was a really great bizarre horror film that shouldn't be missed by fans of indie horror. If you do decide to give this film a whirl and you love it as much as I did, please rate it on IMDb… It deserves a much higher rating!

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Devoured (2012)

Beautiful Addition to the Art-House Horror Genre

[9/10 · 29 September 2013]

Talk about an emotional mind f@$k! Wow! I had my doubts when I pulled up 'Devoured' on IMDb. I saw the current rating at 4.7 and that the Director, Greg Olliver, has only made documentaries and this film is his first full-length feature. I figured there was no way this film would be good, let alone, scary. Couldn't have been more wrong! I'm totally blown away by this beautifully, depressing horror film. First off, the cinematography and direction is absolutely stunning. The film forces you from the very start to sympathize and feel so much compassion for the lead who, by the way, is a fantastically talented actress. The way the first opening scene goes down, you are prepared for the end, but ultimately are pulled in by the main character's struggle. The genius part about it all is that you are so broken down by her life that every single scary moment is terrifying and stressfully confusing. I am still overwhelmed by what an emotional roller coaster this film is. Going from sad to scared to angry, then back to sad, scared and confused. Chilling, depressing, beautiful, dark and clever, 'Devoured' is a film that I will gladly file under art-house horror. This film is for the sophisticated horror connoisseur that has a palate for artistic direction and a hunger for hauntingly disturbing images. BRAVO!

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FYI: I am in no way involved with this film what-so-ever. This is my honest opinion. I watch every and all films associated within the horror genre and always give my unbiased opinion. I am all about celebrating people's love for horror and do not tolerate unnecessary film bashing.

Among Friends (2012)

If you aren't pretentious, then you'll love it!

[8/10 · 3 September 2013]

OMG… OMG… and a one more OMG! Do not let the ridiculously mediocre rating on IMDb turn you away because Among Friends rocked my socks off! I had high expectations of this film because the entire crew and cast are hardcore horror film contributors, including the lovely Danielle Harris who directed it…

But then… I started it.

The first few scenes had me completely worried. I even got up and started doing chores, which is never a good sign. And then all of a sudden, about 20 minutes in, I dropped what I was doing, sat on the couch and didn't move my eyes until it was completely over… even sat through the entire end credits! The fact that I enjoyed Among Friends so much proves that I am a sick individual, but I can't deny how much fun this brutal little indie is. It's funny, gory, violent and very sinister. It's kind of like a campy version of You're Next, which coincidentally, co-stars the very same dude, AJ Bowen. And let me just add how awesome Mr. Bowen is. He has been in some excellent horror film, all of which I definitely will add reviews for in the near future. Anyhoo, Among Friends is a awesome low-budget horror film that is mainly targeted at the "Ladies who Love Horror." The bulk of the cast are female horror veterans that are all very fantastic and you should check out the entire crew/casts IMDb profiles because there are soooo many horror connections, it's pretty incredible. Loved, loved, loved this one!

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Byzantium (2012)

Beautiful, sexy and sleek

[8/10 · 17 August 2013]

I'm a sucker for a horror film that promises to be visually beautiful. There is something about making blood look pretty and death seem romantic that's very appealing to certain audiences. So it isn't that much of a surprise to how much I enjoyed Byzantium. A very untraditional vampire film that is beautifully shot and creatively written. Although, definitely not a film for everyone, Byzantium is filled with appealing characters, beautiful shots and a interesting new approach on the vampire genre. It is important that you know that this film in not fast paced nor is it as fun as an episode of True Blood. But it is as sexy and sleek, similar to a film based on an Ann Rice novel. I really liked this film and think most will enjoy, but only if you like a style of fantasy horror that is both dramatically dark and disturbingly beautiful.

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The Demented (2013)

If you like zombie movies, then what's not to like?

[6/10 · 17 August 2013]

I have to give the first positive review for this film because the ones available at the moment are terribly close-minded and harsh. The consensus of the current reviews bitch and moan about the ending, which I felt, was incredibly realistic. I actually found that to be a quality most likable about this film is its ability to be realistic for such a low-budget zombie film. By realistic, I mean that the characters are relatable when it comes to their reactions and their fates. They make choices and they die like one actually would given there be a zombie apocalypse. It is difficult to write a zombie film that stands out anymore due to our zombie obsessions. That being said, sometimes its fun just to watch a film that portrays that very situation, play out naturally without there being something totally new and never-before-seen. CHILL OUT people!! It's a low-budget zombie film! I don't know why people expect so much from films, especially the low-budge indies. If you're not pretentious and/or jaded, but you like a fun zombie apocalypse film, then you will probably have a fun Sunday afternoon watching The Demented. Plus, let me just point out that the zombie sleeping thing was incredibly creative and really very creepy in my opinion. That was a super cool new zombie characteristic, mad props to the writers on that.

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V/H/S/2 (2013)

More gory than scary

[8/10 · 7 June 2013]

So I paid $12 because I couldn't wait and I paid extra to watch it in 1080, only to feel kind of disappointed after I finished it…

First off, there are only 4 stories plus the surrounding story as where the original had 5 plus the surrounding. Secondly, VHS2 is crazy gory! Like so gory, a few times I gagged and had to pause it to make sure nothing was going to come up. The first one was not gory at all, so I was caught off guard especially because it seems like the main focus of VHS2 was to see how gory they could get. And third, although the quality was way better, the Alien story was really cheap looking. I actually thought the Alien one was the worse because you could not tell what the hell was going on. It was all shaky, broken camera footage through the majority of the story! But the final and most important thing is VHS2 didn't get in my head like the first. VHS2 was fun, gory, entertaining and funny, but it wasn't scary to me like the first was. Okay… Well, the story about the cult did get to me and the first with the eye made me jump quite a bit…. Also the surrounding story was definitely creepier than the first… So, that's why I still had to give it a high score because overall, it was still a really good found footage style horror (except for the alien one). I just think that if the first one scared you, then you'll probably find VHS2 to be a little more on the "silly" side.

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Stoker (2013)

All 5 senses are used to view this film

[10/10 · 6 June 2013]

Before you go out and see this film, you must ask your self one question. Does going to a fine art museum to look at masterpieces while listening to an iPod full of classical music sound interesting to you? If you say no, than I can confidentially tell you that you will not enjoy Stoker. Loving horror and/or Chan-wook Park is not enough.

Where do I start with this spectacular piece of film? Do I start with the cinematography? The fact that you can pause any second of this film, print it out and hang it on your wall still doesn't justify how incredible the shots are. Every second of this film is so easy on the eyes and the acting is astonishing. Mia Wasikowska brilliantly glides from being a delicate, broken child to a mysterious woman with an old soul with ease. Her facial expressions and the way her eyes speak is astonishing. But even after the excellent acting, stunning visuals and unusual story, the thing that makes this film incredible is the sound. I've never paid much attention to sound in a film before like the way I did with Stoker. From early on, where she's rolling an eggshell against the table to the scene where she has her first glass of wine and you can actually hear her drinking and breathing in the aroma at the same time is absolutely insane. I also want to point out that Stoker has this amazing feel to it, much like a Hitchcock film, where the scenes are eerie and long. With our short attention spans from films with 100 shots per second, we lose the ability to appreciate the subtle genius of the highest quality acting, story and setting. Stoker is a perfect example of when psychological horror meets fine art and succeeds way beyond what the average film-goer can handle. There were moments when I couldn't pull my eyes and ears away from the screen because all my senses were being pulled into the film. All I can say is "Well done Mr. Park, yet again."

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Home Sweet Home (III) (2013)

Surprisingly entertaining with a Sweet Ending

[7/10 · 22 May 2013]

The first 20 minutes of this film are incredibly tasteful. I can't stress how perfect the shots and camera angles are. As you watch, you can feel the fear building up inside you. The stress of the situation just completely floods your brain as you watch and wait for whatever your imagination can come up with. And then, all of a sudden, I saw the cheerleading outfit. I started to remember the trailer I posted for this film about a month ago and my excitement for fear quickly faded. But I kept watching… First off, the dude's mask, not gonna lie, pretty creepy. Secondly, the scenes with the killer doing his thing, slowly torturing and humiliating his victims were pretty terrifying. So I kept watching and to my surprise, an ending that knocked me right off my feet. I shook my head, shrugged my shoulders and realized I could only say one thing. You can't judge a film by its trailer. Home Sweet Home is surprisingly a good little indie thriller/horror that definitely deserves a little attention.

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Aftershock (2012)

Somewhat of a HOT MESS

[6/10 · 18 May 2013]

Dead babies, a double rape and painfully brutal deaths are how I'm going to describe this bizarre hot mess of a film. Aftershock was nothing at all like I was expecting, especially coming from a project involving Eli Roth. I think I'm going to have to make peace with the fact that Roth will not be making quality horror films like Hostel or even Cabin Fever anymore. I'm going to have to settle for cheap thrills and depravity galore! Aftershock is a really bad film, but I still found myself gasping, cheering and gagging through out the hour. I say hour because the first 30 minutes are completely worthless. Once you get through the first pointless 30 minutes of lameness, and I did time it for your consideration, then it turns into a terrifying hour of low budget looking gore, cheesy drama, bad music and some of the most terrifying ways to die since Final Destination. Then there were the scenes that were just pure shock value, hence the uncomfortable rape scene and multiple dead baby scenes. But, I willingly made it to the end and found myself feeling terrified during all of the death scenes. Bottom line, utterly disappointed, but still found it mediocrely entertaining.

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The Lords of Salem (2012)

It Didn't Suck!

[6/10 · 27 April 2013]

Even though I try to always go into horror films having no opinion or expectations, for Rob Zombie's latest, I was planning on, nay, hoping to hate it. And what to my surprise? I actually liked it! I didn't love it, but I did get the creeps through out the whole movie. The execution and direction of the movie was pretty solid. There were so many throwbacks to the 70's and 80's horror classics and it was done really well, without looking the slightest bit cheesy. The only weak part is Sheri Moon. I think she's a hottie with a body and I love the way she dances, she has spectacular rhythm, but she just can't cut it in a lead role. I really was hoping she could pull it off, but sadly, she's the weakest part of the film. I get that Rob loves her, but I think the only way for him to make a horror that will leave a mark in history is if he drops the nepotism. The other issue I had was the ending. It had all this suspense and then it just kind of ended with no kick. But overall, I would say The Lords of Salem made my skin crawl over a dozen times. I also have to point out the magnificent musical score. Some of the creepiest music and sounds I've ever heard in a movie. But honestly, with Zombie directing, one can only expect the sound editing to be the high point of the film. Either way, The Lords of Salem is definitely one to check out.

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Maniac (2012)

Elijah Woods is way too underrated!

[8/10 · 27 April 2013]

Oh where do I start… Intense, terrifying, twisted and disturbing are the only words one can use to describe the remake of Maniac. I unfortunately didn't see the original, but I could see there was a lot of throwback used in this current version. A couple points I'd like to make about Maniac. Number one, Elijah Woods… dude can act! I always knew that but I think he wanted to prove that he could play literally any part imaginable. In Maniac, he plays a maniac and he does it superbly. Number two; this movie is shot through the point of view of the killer. So if you have issues with found footage films because of the "shaky camera" angles, then this movie will be difficult for you to watch. That being said, this movie was shot brilliantly! We are talking serious, professional direction. You are made to feel like your in the mind of a serial killer and it is done perfectly. And number three, the gore. Wow! The special effects and make up teams on this film are the cream of the crop. The gore in Maniac was some of the most terrifying gore I've ever seen, not because it showed so much, but because it looked so real and natural. This is seriously a film that should not be missed… Now if you'll excuse me, I have to watch some cartoons to flush the Maniac images outta my brain…

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A Haunted House (2013)

Better than the latest Scary Movies

[5/10 · 12 April 2013]

I grew up watching In Living Color and I loved Scary Movie 1 & 2, so I was really excited for A Haunted House because obviously, I love the Wayans' brothers. Although A Haunted House wasn't as good as the Scary Movies, I still laughed through most of it. It is exactly like a funny version of the first Paranormal Activity. To enjoy this movie, you have to go in to it expecting it to be stupid and not expect it to be like a Keenen Ivory Wayans comedy because he was not involved with this one unfortunately. Just prepare yourself for a raunchy, stupid, silly horredy that pokes fun of our favorite horrors without insulting your intelligence like the other Scary Movies do. Marlon Wayans and Essence Atkins are great together and they actually make you feel like you're watching their private home videos. There's a scene where Marlon takes the footage of his girlfriend doing crazy stuff while she's sleeping and auto tunes it… Hilarious! A Haunted House is a fun, adult horredy that is goofy and entertaining, but should probably be watched with an herbal companion to enjoy it properly.

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13 Eerie (2013)

They must have spent the budget on hiring Katharine Isabelle

[4/10 · 7 April 2013]

I'm always looking forward to seeing a horror film that stars Katharine Isabelle. You will recognize her if you've seen Ginger Snaps and/or American Mary. So I was really looking forward to watch 13 Eerie. Unfortunately, there's not much to see in 13 Eerie. SIDENOTE: If you've read my reviews in the past, you know how much I hate the skeptical character in films. It's that character that needs convincing through the whole first half of the film. Ugh, its such a slap in the face to the audience. It was fine for horror films to have that character decades ago, but it's 2013 now. Filmmakers need to take in consideration how desensitized their audiences is to horror story lines. We know scary things happen, that's why we watch horror… we want our characters to know that too! Get with the program horror movie characters, scary sh*t happens… just accept that and start running! In 13 Eerie, there is way too much skepticism in the first half of the movie. It really brings the pace of the movie down. Once you get passed being annoyed by all the doubting, then you realize this is your basic "Night of the Living Dead" style zombie film, only it takes place around an abandoned where death row convicts rise from the grounds. There is honestly nothing special in 13 Eerie you haven't already seen if you've been watching zombie movies in this century. I'd say that the only interesting component is Katharine's character. She plays her usual bad-ass, heroine character. I also really liked the bus scene where they try to get away. That was pretty entertaining and the ending was as well. Overall, not too much to get excited about, but entertaining enough to give it a shot. Long story short: don't pay more than a dollar to rent or just wait for a streaming release.

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Sightseers (2012)

Have to have a dry sense of humor

[6/10 · 31 March 2013]

Sightseers is a British black comedy horror film about a couple in a newly found relationship that, evolves when they take a caravan holiday together. I actually thought this movie was extremely sad and funny. Sad because of the main character, Tina, is so lonely and confused, but funny because the decisions she chooses to make out of her state are very entertaining. The murders are hilarious and so are the killers. I can see why this film is getting so much buzz. It is dark and pathetic, sweet and funny. The two main characters are written perfectly and it's really interesting to see how they evolve and exchange roles through out the movie. Sightseers is not for every horror fan, but it will be appreciated by the ones who understand dry comedy and loneliness.

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