AttyTude0 Reviews

The Painted Veil (2006)

A travesty

[1/10 · 20 July 2023]

Don't waste your time on this POS. It's a travesty of Maugham's literary masterpiece.

Unlike those who gave this garbage 5 stars, do yourself a favor and read the book instead.

Oh, shoot. Now I'm getting notified that my review is too short. Of course it is. This idiotic film is not a subject on which much eloquence is possible. Oh, well. If they insist.

Don't waste your time on this POS. It's a travesty of Maugham's literary masterpiece

Unlike those who gave this 5 stars, do yourself a favor and read the book instead.

Don't waste your time on this POS. It's a travesty of Maugham's literary masterpiece

Unlike those who gave this 5 stars, do yourself a favor and read the book instead.

Don't waste your time on this POS. It's a travesty of Maugham's literary masterpiece

Unlike those who gave this 5 stars, do yourself a favor and read the book instead.

Don't waste your time on this POS. It's a travesty of Maugham's literary masterpiece

Unlike those who gave this 5 stars, do yourself a favor and read the book instead.

Don't waste your time on this POS. It's a travesty of Maugham's literary masterpiece

Unlike those who gave this 5 stars, do yourself a favor and read the book instead.

There. That should do it.

Singin' in the Rain (1952)

When Hollywood Was Great - Early Last Century

[10/10 · 27 June 2023]

This first time I saw this film was sometime in the 70s. I was a teenager and saw it in a theatre that 'specialized' in oldies. My friends and I absolutely loved it. We had a marvelous time back home trying to imitate the inimitable Sid Charisse in the Broadway number (LOL, as IF!).

Fast forward to today. Hubby and I decided to watch something uplifting, romantic and fun. So of course that meant practically nothing done since the 80s. We decided this and what a great choice. You just can't go wrong with this film. The songs, the dancing, the humor. I'm not much of a Kelly fan, but here I even liked him.

I pity those incapable of appreciating this film. No, really. I mean it. What a bunch of Scrooges they must be, poor devils.

Anyway, I think this is a terrific film. One that makes you feel happy again. And who doesn't need that today.

Dark Journey (1937)

It's not bad

[7/10 · 27 May 2023]

I am always ready to make allowances for old films. Unlike others, I understand that they cannot possibly equal modern films. A film made in 1937 - what's that? 86 years ago? - cannot remotely be the same as modern films. The acting, the techincal aspects, the mindset, what was considered proper and what not, acceptable or not. That's why I have no patience with people who bleat, "it's dated ... un-pc ..." And my favorite, "It's unsuitable for our modern sensitivites." i.e. It's not woke or PC. LOL. Of course it isn't, Einstein. It was made 40, 50 - 80 years ago.

This film, while not necessarily entrancing, is not bad. You might even love it if you like oldies. There is only one thing that I found annoying and distracting. The story is supposed to happen in 1918 ... but everybody, especially the women, is dressed in glaringly 1930s fashion. Even the makeup and the haristyles. They don't even pretend to make it look like 1918. That never fails to annoy me. And the same thing happens in modern films, make no mistake. I've seen contemporary films that are allegedly set in 1960 but you'd never know it judging by the fashion. There IS something called research, you know.

I must admit that I cannot see Conrad Veldt as a romantic figure. Maybe I'm too influenced by Casablanca, I don't know. My bad, of course.

Still and all, I'd much rather watch an oldie like this one, with all its shortcomings, than the garbage Hollyweird relentlessly vomits these days. I mean, if you want to see anachronism on a grotesque level, watch any of the "period" pieces they slosh on us these days. At best you'll get a good laugh.

Ride the High Country (1962)

This borefest got 7.4?!

[1/10 · 24 March 2023]

Why? Nothing happens. They talk. And talk. And talk. And then they talk some more. Wasn't there a plot? Something about two old geezers taking some gold somewhere? Must have gotten drowned in the sea of incredibly banal dialogue. Even hubby, a western devotee, lost patience wiht this borefest and after 45 minutes we decided to watch something else.

What the ...? Now IMDb demands 600 characters? On this exercise in tedium? I thought my above paragraph more than it deserved.

Oh, well. As you wish.

Why? Nothing happens. They talk. And talk. And talk. And then they talk some more. Wasn't there a plot? Something about two old geezers taking some gold somewhere? Must have gotten drowned in the sea of incredibly banal dialogue. Even hubby, a western devotee, lost patience wiht this borefest and after 45 minutes we decided to watch something else.

Why? Nothing happens. They talk. And talk. And talk. And then they talk some more. Wasn't there a plot? Something about two old geezers taking some gold somewhere? Must have gotten drowned in the sea of incredibly banal dialogue. Even hubby, a western devotee, lost patience wiht this borefest and after 45 minutes we decided to watch something else.

There. Long enough?

Torn Curtain (1966)

Julie, darling. Stick to musicals.

[2/10 · 9 March 2023]

Never mind the film. Like other reviewers I found Julie Andrews so miscast that it distracts from everything else. She just is not convincing in a spy film. I got the same impression when I saw her in The Tanarind Seed. She got away with it in Darling Lili only because that was a musical and she was in her element. I know it sounds unfair but some actors/actresses are just not made to play certain roles. Poor Julie is as out of place in a spy film as Boris Karloff would be in The Sound of Music.

There is zero chemistry between her and Paul Newman (small wonder). With her prim and proper matronly looks, when she reproaches Newman she comes off more as his mother than his lover.

Sorry, Julie. You were great in TSOM, Mary Poppins, and Darling Lili. You were also great in The Star. But you should have stayed away from spy films and stuff like that. It's just not your thing.

Blood and Sand (1941)

Gilda she ain't

[5/10 · 1 February 2023]

Having read the book, and having heard so much about the legendary Rita Hayworth in the role of Dona Sol I, of course, looked forward to seeing the film. It has its merits, I guess. The novel is does not translate easily to film. Bullfighting is strictly a Spanish thing - no disrespect to the Sanish culture meant, I assure you - and it's difficult to understand unless you are a Spaniard. Personally, I never had the stomach for it, and I'm no PETA fanatic by any stratch of the imagination.

The novel was written in 1908, so I was a bit taken aback when I saw that in the film the story takes place in the 40s. The production is sumptuous, no doubt, and Tyrone Power is always eye candy for us, ladies. As Juanito Gallardo, there are times his arrogance is a bit grating though, and you want to slap him upside the head and tell him not to be silly. He pays dearly for it, though, so you end up feeling sorry for him. Linda Darnell, as his ever suffering and loyal wife, is sweet and your heart goes out to her.

I must say the big dissappointment for me was Rita Hayworth. She did not at all recall the irresistible and dangerously alluring Dona Sol described in the book. She's a far cry from the gorgeous Gilda. Maybe it's the makeup, maybe it's because she hadn't quite gotten the hang of the sexy siren thingy yet. The thing is she looks decidedly unattractive. For starters she looks much older than her 23 years and than she did in Gilda, a funny thing considering she played that role some 5 years later. She tries to look aloof and cold, but merely succeeds in looking like she swallowed a ramrod. Her smile, and indeed her whole demeanor, is too rigid and forced. She looks uncomfortable and, watching her, so do you. I can't help thinking what a difference it would have made if they'd shot the film the same year Gilda was made. She would have made a devastating Dona Sol then.

The rest of the cast is ok, particularly Laird Cregar as the oily, venal, revolting Curro; Anthony Quinn as the ambitious and jealous Manolo, and Carradine as El Nacional.

The cinematography is excellent. Somebody said that some scenes resemble old paintings and I agree. Especially the scene where Gallardo and his cuadrilla pray before going into the arena.

I won't go on as I would just repeat what most reviewers said before me. In spite of the flaws the film is definitely worth watching. Especially if, like me, you like films made in the 40s.

Two Weeks in Another Town (1962)

UGH!!

[1/10 · 26 January 2023]

So I have to watch something when I'm exercising on the treadmill. Anything ... or so I thought until I stumbled on this horror.

There are films that are so bad they are good. This one is so bad it can't be anything else. No amount of excuses can justify this tawdry mess.

Let's start with the tired and tiresome prejudice that Italians can only express themselves in the shrillest, most hysterical fashion. Funny but in my 6 years in Rome I never came across such people and everyone I met acted pretty rationally. Yes, they can be boisterous, rowdy, during a football match. But so do the otherwise restrained, stiff-upper-lip Brits. So much so that their behavior on such occasions earned them the unflattering title of hooligans.

And apparently so do Americans. At least judging by the quasi-demented rantings of Mrs. Kruger (Claire Trevor), whose outrageous acting could give a deaf person a headache. I never wanted someone to bump her off so badly and thus put her out of her misery and deliver us from that screeching hellcat.

Everybody is nasty, unpleasant, ill-tempered/mannered, and/or downright decadent. There isn't one single character you care for and don't hate. George Hamilton's Davie Drew is a whiny, wet noodle of a man (term used loosely) and makes you want to punch his teeth in and tell him to snap out of it.

I could go on for sheets and sheets but you get the general picture. From now on I'll take the time to find something better to watch while I work out, and I advise anyone with a smidgen of good taste to give this dreck a wiiiiiide berth. Watch paint dry if you must. At least it won't cause you to lose brain cells.

Titanic (1997)

Melodrammatic Soap Opera with Special Effects

[1/10 · 23 May 2022]

Saturday night, hubby wanted to watch this thing again and since it was too late to go shopping, or something, I agreed. I didn't like it the first time and I didn't like it the second time. Unlike wine, it didn't improve with age. Glad to see I am not the only one who was not taken in by Cameron's melodrammatic soap opera. At the time, everybody was going into raptures over this film. Me, I found only one redeemable feature: the soundtrack. Maybe because I never liked any of the actors - don't like Leo, hate Zane, can't stand Kate - but I could not wait for this sentimental mess to end.

The story right up there with those old plays that were performed on river boats in 19th century South. The rich guy is the villain. Check. The peniless loser is the good guy. Check. The society girl falls for the peniless loser. Check. They left nothing out. No, I tell a lie. They left out a good, interesting plot.

In my humble opinion, this film tanked as deeply as the Titanic.

BTW, I saw on YouTube that the song, My Heart Will Go On was blocked in some countries. Anybody know why? Which tender-butt snowflake was offended this time, and why?

Eh, whatever.

Don't Look Up (2021)

IMDb, please make 0 stars rating available

[1/10 · 8 May 2022]

Well, it's official. Leftist Hollywood trash - pardon the triple redundancy - will sink to the lowest form of self-debasement/ridicule for the chance to bash conservatives in general, Pres. Trump in particular. Even appear in turds like this film. These losers have NO sense of irony or self-awareness.

Do we really need to see Meryl Streep's fat, flabby bottom 'au naturel'? Hey, Streep. You're 70, for crying out loud! Just load that thing into a Depends and park it in a Lazy Boy. And when Ariana Grande's caterwaulin is used as a entertainment bait, Hollywood, we have a problem.

This PoS is exclusively made for - and praised by - the usual suspects: ignorant woke Tik Tok addicts, and other assorted lefty media cult followers. Sentient, informed, intellectually-mature, well-adjusted people give it 1 star. And only because a 0 rating is not available.

My advice? Skip anything that that match-made-in-hell, Hollywood & Netflix, vomit these days. Your brain will thank you.

No, this review does not contain spoilers. You can't spoil what's already rotten.

An Ideal Husband (2018)

The Unbearable Stupidity of Wokes

[1/10 · 30 April 2022]

In this version of An Ideal Husband, Lady Mabel Chiltern, Lord Chiltern's sister, is played by a black actress - curiously enough, Lord Chiltern is played by a white guy - And in another modern production of Lady Windemere's Fan - presumably by the same company - a certain Lord Lorton is also played by a black actor.

And why not. After all, we all know that in Victorian England a good number of British aristocrats were of pure African extraction. I'm being sarcastic of course.

I don't know what white wokes - pardon the redundancy - think they achieve by all this diverse silliness. Their obsession with diversity and political correctness has reached a degree of stupidity that is excessive even by woke standards.

Personally, I think it's condescending and self-congratulating. A sick form of reverse colonialism, if you will. Imagine if a white actor were cast to play a famous black person. Say Shaka Zulu, or Mandela. The caterwauling from the woke contingency would be louder than the Final Trumpet. And mind you, they would be right, for once.

Oh, well. I suppose if God allows people like wokes exist in this world it means they are necessary, too. If only for comic relief.

The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)

I double dare you, Martin.

[1/10 · 4 April 2022]

Yawn. Another film made by another Hollywood critter with the same old tired purpose: offend Christians, the group of people the left most LOVES to hate. "Yeah, I really stuck it to those Bible-thumping hicks, didn't I."

Here's a thought, Signor Scorsese. Make a film based on Rushdie's The Satanic Verses (mind you follow the book closely). And if things get a bit sticky as a result, you can always join Mr. Rushdie in his witness protection program, or whatever they have in the UK for cases like that.

Or how about a film condemning the perpetrators of the Summer of Love of a couple of years ago? Or one that strongly promotes binary gender, or that criticizes the teaching of CRT in schools?

Hang on ... there's no Hollyweirdo protection program behind which you can hide, is there. Eh, so what. That shouldn't worry someone so fearless of controversy like you.

Come on, Martin. I double dare you.

And come on, IMDb, I double dare you to post my comment.

Original Sin (2001)

Remake of ...

[1/10 · 10 March 2022]

... Francois Truffaut's Mississippi Mermaid, also based on Woolrich's book. Truffaut's film was much better.

And where looks are concerned Catherine Deneuve blows Angelina Jolie out of the water any time (fat lips aren't necessarily a synonym for beauty).

My advice: watch Mississippi Mermaid instead of this dreg.

The Damned (1969)

What if this film had not been directed by Visconti?

[1/10 · 10 February 2022]

Would it have gotten 5 stars from the geniuses who dismiss as intellectual rubes those of us who have the presence of mind - not to mention the honesty - to see that this emperor is butt naked? Very probably. Fanaticism is funny that way.

I watched this mess again after I don't know how many decades and - like the first time- found nothing redeemable in this kitschy pastiche. No, not even Visconti's signature. This film is simply badly made. Over-the-top, in parts cringe-worthy though unintentionally comical (that orgy scene was a scream), and yes, pretentious. The 'shock' element is done in the ham-handed, immature way that is more Ken Russell than Visconti. I find it unbelievable that this is the same Visconti that gave us Ludwig and The Leopard. I could go on forever, but I made my point.

Oh, one more thing. Whatever happened to Visconti's much-acclaimed 'obsessive attention to detail'? All the women - and those who are not, but like to dress like them - wear distinctly 60s-70s makeup (I know what I'm talking about because I was a young girl then). Where is the red lipstick? The black eye makeup? The actresses wear frosted beige lip gloss, for crying out loud!

Don't listen to the knee-jerk enthusiasts of this sorry mess. Skip it, unless you want to learn how NOT to make a film if you want to be taken seriously.

The Serpent (1973)

Please delete previous post

[8 February 2022]

I previously posted that there is a version of this film on YouTube that lasts over 3hrs. On second inspection I realized that that version does have commercials. My mistake. Please delete previous post. Thanks.

The Serpent (1973)

I'm confused

[7 February 2022]

IMDb has this film as a 1hr and something long. And yet on YouTube there is a version that is 3hr and something long. I fast forwarded to see if it was due to commercials, but it's the entire film.

What gives?

The Charge of the Light Brigade (1968)

Think before you post

[7/10 · 5 January 2022]

I'm sorry but I simply must correct the poster who complained about the film not mentioning Sir Winston Churchill's participation in the Battle of Balaclava. Churchill would have been hard pressed to do so since he was born twenty years later. The battle took place in 1854 and Churchill was born in 1874.

The film is fine, though I could have done without the musical cartoons.

Nocturnal Animals (2016)

Sick, sick, sick. Sick artsy-fartsy claptrap.

[1/10 · 15 November 2021]

A friend and I got into a row over this sick piece of animal excrement, so I didn't see the end. Or the middle, for that matter.

Until now all I knew about Tom Ford was that he is a designer of clothes/perfume/makeup ... all outrageously overpriced. And why not? Some people fall over each other to buy his stuff. A fool and his money, and all that.

When my friend told me he was the 'director', well, that raised all sorts of red flags. I was not wrong. I'm no feminist, but this film is obviously anti-woman, and don't anyone try to tell me any different

The opening scene is grotesque and repulsive and utterly unnecessary and I said as much. But when the rape scene started I said enough! I am a woman and I was disgusted and offended and told my friend that as a woman she should know better than lauding what is obviously the sick fantasy of a gay man who hates women. It went south from there - she's a lefty, in case you haven't guessed - and now we are, ah, 'estranged' (we were never close, anyway).

Why do some people stumble to praise this bit of untalented smut? Because it was 'directed' by Tom Ford. Who is Tom Ford? A gay fashion designer with the typical anti-conservative/religious bias, so 'de rigueur' in the crowd he mixes. Do the math and you get this fat, ugly butt-naked emperor of a film.

In short if you are a lefty who dreams of mingling with the above-mentioned fauna, or if you are a perv who enjoys watching detailed scenes of women being raped, this film is your junk.

If, OTOH, you are a normal, sentient, well-adjusted person of good taste, give this sick mess a wiiiide berth.

Now let's see if IMDb publishes my post. Truth is becoming very unpopular among certain people these days.

No Time to Die (2021)

Enough!

[1/10 · 9 October 2021]

Ok, now that James Bond is dead - physically, anyway; the spirit of Bond died with Timothy Dalton - can we please just bury the franchise and move on? Pretty please?

I beg the powers that be to stop trying to milk a dead cow and just move on to something new. Let Cmdr. Bond rest in peace. Stop the mockery. Stop bastardizing this beloved figure. Bond was created a long, long time ago, when the world was blissfully devoid of wokeness, cancel culture, political correctness and other pestilential scourges that blight our world today. You cannot PC James Bond. If you don't like the franchise, don't watch it. And certainly DON'T tamper with it.

Hollywood and whatever the British equivalent is, should just do their thing and leave the classics alone. Trust me, the world will not come to an end if you do.

That is all I have to say.

And now I politely ask IMDb to give me the same right to voice my opinion they gives everybody else.

Superman (1978)

What a difference 40 years make

[1/10 · 20 September 2021]

So I saw this when it firt came out 40 years ago (yes, I'm that old). At the time it was a great succeess, at least where I lived.

Fast forward to present time. Hubby and I are watching it as I type.... Oh, dear. What a difference 40 years make. Now I find it slow, boring, and interminable. How they managed to make an action film that moves at glacial speed is a feat in itself, though one hardly worthy of praise. And Margot Kidder as a woman so bewitching that she's worth turning back time for (and by such method!)? Are you kidding me?

Anyway, I agree with everyone who panned this film. Not even nostalgia could make me give it more than 1 star. Some things are better left buried in the past.

Cry Macho (2021)

Clint does Norma Desmond. And it's not pretty.

[1/10 · 19 September 2021]

I'll try not to repeat other posters said, except maybe to add my disgust at the idea of a woman of 30 wanting to bed 90 y/o geezer. Unless she has some really serious issues.

This film is a train wreck. Don't get me wrong. I always liked Eastwood. And yes, he has some pretty good films in his resume. BUT. The Clint I love is the un-pc guy who kicks @$$, doesn't hesitate to use his gun, and tells punks to 'make his day.'

Though no Harry Callahan, I was not offended by the Pardner. He was ok. Frank Horrigan was a bit over the hill, but still ok. I hated CE's role in Bridges of Someplace or Other (and the addition of homely, hausfrau-y Meryl Streep, whom I intensely dislike, didn't make things better). But now I have to endure Clint Eastwood as a male Norma Desmond?! At least Norma was 50, not 90.

Clint, darling, you were once cute, young and sexy. Now you're old. Really old. Nothing wrong with old age per se and nice work for reaching 91 in relatively good health (though I wouldn't swear by your mental health). But remember the old saying, no bigger fool than an old fool. It's time to bow out and retire with dignity.

We love you, man. But let it go. Leave us with good memories of Rowdy Yates, Dirty Harry and Luther Whitney. Don't force us to remember you as the Joe Biden of Hollywood.

Straight Talk (1992)

James + Dolly = What's not to like?

[10/10 · 18 August 2021]

Let me keep it simple. If you want to pass yourself off as a poor man's Ebert in the hope that someone somewhere will take you seriously for once, give this film a pass (or pan it, if it makes you feel better).

If, OTOH, you're a well adjusted adult who knows what to take seriously and when, rent this film, grab a beer/some tea/whathaveyou, kick off your shoes, sit back and enjoy hour and a half of harmless fluffy fun. Hey, at least it will take your mind off the mortifying reality that our country was just humiliated (again) by that cheating, senile, bumbling loser we have in the WH now.

The Bridges of Madison County (1995)

This mother of all dregs gets 7.6 stars?!

[1/10 · 8 August 2021]

Oh, well. Sign of our time, innit? I'm not going to go over the lack of morals of this so-called film. Others have covered that. MadMatt7 was particularly eloquent.

In the first place, apparently, this bore fest was meant to be a romance. One that brought tears to some women's eyes. It isn't. I have no doubt that it made some women cry. It made THIS woman cry. Only in my case it was due to mortification. Thank God, I'm old, but not senile. I can still tell the difference between a real love story and what this silliness is: a geriatric sexual romp disguised as mushy, mawkish "sex-is-ageless" romance, designed to please horny old goats and fat, bored, middle-aged housewives who fantasize that indulging in tedium-inspired extra-marital infidelity means they still "got it."

Good. Got that bit of reality check off my chest.

BTW, please don't judge all middle-aged women by the above-mentioned.

In the second place, I hate Meryl Streep. Well I do. Yes, I know this will make fans of Our Lady of the Accents get the vapors. Just break out the smelling salts and be quiet. I hate Meryl Streep and there's an end to it. She's a mediocre actress, glorified because she can imitate foreign accents. Any stand up comedian worth his salt can do that - but none of them ever got an Oscar for their trouble - In this snoozer Meryl goes about flapping her arms like a wet hen, presumably "playing the Italian." Wow. Such a thespian. Stick to accents, you silly cow.

Good. Another bit of reality check off my chest.

And now the painful part. Clint, what the Hades were you thinking? Must you really test your fans' loyalty to such a sad point? This silliness is an insult to the memory of Dirty Harry, the Preacher, Frank Korrigan, and Luther Whitney, to name a few. Shame on you, man. Shame on you.

And that's the long and short of it. If you're a horny old goat, or a bored, fantasizing, middle-aged housewife, this ... thing ... is you cup of Ensure. If you are a normal, mature - mentally as well as chronologically - well adjusted human being, skip this dreg and do something else. Preferably something to which you don't have to sacrifice valuable brain cells.

Mrs. Winterbourne (1996)

No Man of Her Own remade into a comedy

[4/10 · 8 May 2021]

This is a remake of the 1950 film, No Man of Her Own, which starred Barbara Stanwyck. Only that was a drama and not a bad one either. Shirley is, as usual, good in her part. It really boils down to which you prefer, drama or comedy. If you like the former, watch Stanwyck. If you're in a lighter mood, watch Shirley. No need to make it more complicated.

Rosebud (1975)

A catastrophe

[1/10 · 22 April 2021]

I love oldie films and when I saw the cast, the director of Rosebud, I thought 'alright!' Outloud I said, Oh. My. God. Preminger did this? He of Anatomy of a Murder, Exodus, Stalag 17? Let me guess. He was drunk. Drugged then. Senile? All of the above? Oh, well.

I won't repeat the epic flaws of this film. Other reviews covered that. But of all the cringe-worthy, unintentionally comic moments (and there are SO many!), the worst was definitely the one in which the pseudo revolutionary "confronts" his paramour's rich grandfather (who paid for the food he was enjoying) with the old, tired, tiresome college-campus-commie line about he (grandpa) being an evil rich, oppressor of the poor. I laughed out loud. I was surprised Marx Junior didn't end his anemic tirade with "And you're a poo-poo head, too. So there!" But at least the bit was followed by the only redeemable moment in the film: evil rich grandpa's indifferent dismissal of our barricade hero's outburst with what amounted to, "That's nice, dear. Now run along." It was perfect.

Watch this mess if you have to. Some people even liked it (guys, you REALLY need to get out more). But don't say you were not warned.

Infidel (2019)

If the usual suspects ...

[10/10 · 26 September 2020]

... are getting their undies in a twist (for the same old same old reasons), that is more than a sterling recommendation in my book. Looking forward to seeing this film.

Now let's see if IMDb posts my view. Lately my reviews have not been appearing. Even when they a about a film. So maybe now this one will make it. Unless IMDb has gone woke and won't print posts that might offend the terminally sensitive.