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It's About Time (1966–1967)
1/10
Short Lived For a Reason
24 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Someone wrote it isn't a total failure because it lasted a season and went into a second season - wrong.

It was so bad, doing so poorly in the ratings, that the producers changed the premise mid-season. The show only got worse.

It's an interesting concept, and there are funny moments, but overall the writing is very poor. Many of the actors often mail in their performances.

In short - me no like. Don't waste time.
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1/10
Super Garbage
15 November 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Like much modern sci fi or superhero stuff, the leftist message is more important than anything else.

Superman vs Godzilla - Supes wins by talking Godzilla into destroying himself. What utter garbage.

Characters weak. The re-imagining of the Superman origin is weak. The voice acting is dreadful. Ubermensch is far better than this is.
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1/10
Less Exciting Than Watching Paint Dry
22 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
It's a sure sign that a movie is bad when it starts in the middle.

The writers didn't really know how to have all the heroes, so they just skipped that part. Sure, the movie shows some of the heroes defeated, but it only shows sinppets of some of the action.

On a related note, how can you kill off major heroes without showing their deaths? GL dead? Sure, the movie shows a few seconds of what is apparently his death - it doesn't even bother showing his end. Don't worry, Superman says GL "fought hard", you just don't get to see it.

The voice acting is horrible. Whoever plays Damian Wayne sounds incredibly bored with every line.

It's a sure sign of doom when the movie begins with a huge event that it barely shows. The movie goes down hill from there.

How can there be heroes when the people are like heroes? Lois Lane is a martial arts fighter in this movie. Come on!
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1/10
Don't Waste Your Time
30 July 2019
Get some Transformers toys. Give them to a kid. Watch him play with the toys for an hour - pew pew boom bang bip.

The story you see, the battles you see, everything you see will be better than what's in this movie.
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1/10
Consistently Bad
27 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Zarkon's plan is to use a giant robot beast to defeat Voltron, so Zarkon can take possession of the "mightiest weapon in the universe."

Um, if your giant robot defeats Voltron, then your giant robot is the mightiest weapon in the universe.

Princess Generic Euro Ahhhcent lives in a Cahhhhhhhhhstle.

The actor who plays Pidge can't act to save his life. He utters his lines as if he's reading them for the first time.

The generic "champion" sub plot suggests the "champion" attacked Pidge's brother, but then it's shown it was a generic push him out of the way to save him thing.

Voltron has a tough fight with the enemy robot because the heroes don't know how to operate Voltron. Once they figure out how to operate Voltron, although badly, they easily defeat the enemy.

Why did the king have to hide Voltron 10,000 years ago. If a bunch of amateurs can fumble their way to easily defeating the enemy's robot, why couldn't the battle tested Paladins win 10,000 years ago.

Utter

Garbage
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1/10
An Hour of Crap in Half an Hour
27 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This episode surpasses the first episode in that this one squeezes an hour of bad into less than 30 minutes.

Nothing happens in this episode - absolutely nothing.

The heroes formed Voltron in the first episode, but now they can't form Voltron. It takes a food fight to push them to forming Voltron.

In one scene, Princess Generic Euro Ahhhhcent says the bad guys have conquered the entire known universe. As she says it, she's showing a map of the known universe with conquered planets in red. Half the known universe, including Earth, isn't red.

The bad guys send a monster on its way to attack Voltron.

At one point, Princess Generic Euro Ahhhhcent says the Paladins of old could form Voltron and had years of experience fighting evil. Yup, they were so good that last time the bad guys attacked, the good guys had to hide Voltron rather than have the battle tested Paladins pilot Voltron to face the bad guys.

This episode was what should have been a 5 minute sub plot in an episode.
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1/10
Utter Garbage
26 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
It starts off a mess and goes downhill from there.

Voltron is the only thing that can stop the Galra Empire. Thus, 10,000 years ago, at the height of a war with the Galra Empire, the king of Planet Altea hid the lions that make up Voltron so they wouldn't fall into the hands of the Galra's Emperor Zarkon.

Um, if Voltron is the weapon that can defeat Galra, why hide it? Why didn't the king use Voltron to defeat Zarkon 10,000 years ago?

That's OK, forget about it. There are plenty of fart jokes, indigestion jokes, vomit jokes to carry this story.

Some people call this "what Voltron was meant to be." Yes, the original series had a story just as hobbled together, but this is no better. It makes no sense within itself, and that's a big problem.

The other big problems are poor voice acting, poor dialogue, poor character establishment and development.

The bonus is the princess has the pseudo euro AHHHHHH cent so popular in modern sci fi.

It will take Voltron to save me from this mess. Voltron, Defender of Sanity: you pluck out the eyes, I'll cut off the ears - then I won't be able to see or hear this garbage.
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3/10
Too Much of the Painfully Bad Human Story
12 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
The human characters and story are painfully bad. Bad acting, bad story, bad character development,

Monster Zero is kept in isolation, a secret nobody but the super secret monster organization and some eco terrorists know. Then why does a random teenage girl, who looks to be in her mid 20's, immediately recognize it by name the instant she sees it?

You know it's going to be bad when it starts with a slo mo recap of the part of the first movie from the perspective of people who weren't in the first movie.

30 minutes in, there's only a glimpse of the monsters.

The monster action is terrific, but the movie often cuts away to show the perspective of the completely uninteresting human characters.

Good grief - get to the monster action, stick to the monster action. Why so many main human characters? Pick one.

90% unwatchable human characters in unwatchable human drama, 10% awesome monster action.
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Sword Art Online (2012– )
1/10
Absolute Garbage
3 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
It's actually viewers of this drek who are trapped in a pretend world. In this world nothing much happens even though there's a constant hint of action just over the next scene.

Lame characters, lame love story, lame villain with lame motives to do what he did.

Thankfully, you don't have to clear the game or watch the whole episode to escape. You just have to stop watching this drek.
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1/10
Second Time DC Made an Animated Movie of This Story - 1st Was Better
21 January 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This is what happens when non-creative people try to create. The people who made this used someone else's story, someone else's characters, a load of leftist ideals - the result is crap.

The President in this is a Hillary Clinton look alike. She exists merely to fulfill a fantasy that Hillary won in 2016. It didn't happen.

The voice acting is horrible. There is ample use of the lazy person's voice acting technique: first part of a sentence uttered as a question? last part uttered as a statement.

For some reason every character says "tech" instead of technology. Tech tech tech tech tech.

There are a lot of inconsistencies such as the sun slowly rolling over the watchtower even though it's been in space for awhile and nothing was blocking the sun from it.

Lois is able to move to the ground and stay there in 0 G.

One of Darksied's automotons could easily lift a truck. Later, one can't even lift a car on his own.

In the final battle between Superman and RoboSuperman (Hank), Hank tells Superman he can't kill. Superman agrees, saying, "I'm just not programmed for it. But I have a wildcard." Then Superman kills Hank.

Awful mish mash changing a perfectly good story that was already told in a comic book and in another animated film. Addition of Hillary as President rather than depicting the real President, GEOTUS Trump.

Don't waste your time.
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1/10
Awful Mess
17 January 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Pacific Rim and Ready Player One are both based on a story I wrote. Neither executes well on telling the story.

This movie is a mismatched hodge podge, action without the soul and spirit that drive my original work.

There's little character development, horrible action sequences, and a paper thin plot.

Don't steal my work - you can't do it justice.
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3/10
I'd Rather Take the Hook to the Head Than Watch This
7 January 2019
Warning: Spoilers
It's a convoluted mish mash of generic story, tired chase scenes, un-inspired fights, and mail it in special effects.

This is more like a video game than a movie, and the video game isn't all that good.
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1/10
Empty Political Point
2 January 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Capitalists bad.

In the end, the "heroes" let the dinosaurs out into a populated area. How heroic.
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6/10
Do Not Mess With the EQ
1 January 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This is a paint by the numbers story - 0 imagination. It's predictable. Every twist and turn comes from the basic action movie play book.

Not much to see here.

The EQ character played by Denzel is terrific. He makes a 0 star movie into 5 stars because he's 10 stars.

Hopefully there are more EQ movies coming. Hopefully they get better stories, but they keep Denzel as the EQ.

BTW, do not mess with the EQ.
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I Love Lucy: The I Love Lucy Christmas Show (1956)
Season 6, Episode 11
10/10
Entertainment 101
26 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
The end makes the episode worthwhile. Fred wasn't there? Why are there five? OMG- It's Santa himself!

Lucy and Ricky explaining the mysteries of Santa to Little Ricky is priceless.

The scene of the gang getting ready for Lucy to go to the hospital to deliver the baby is Entertainment 101. It is a great example of set up, anticipation and pay off.
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The Predator (2018)
1/10
Is This a Joke
17 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
There is nothing good about this film. The characters are nothing. The Hero has less personality than lint. The female biologist has a paper thin back story and the acting skills of a noodle. When she swears, it sounds as if she's never sworn in her life.

The action is as bad as the characters and plot. It looks as if everyone is at half effort. The biologist runs with haltering half steps - the scene with her chasing the Predator is painful to watch.

Every scene is by the numbers as is the overall plot. The characters are empty. The action is ridiculous.

Save your time. Don't watch it.
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2/10
Call it Lamevengers SJW Wars
20 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
The writing was on the wall with an early fight between Thanos and Hulk. OK, Thanos is all powerful, but he beats Hulk with a few punches and knees. At least make the fight big.

The writing got worse when the Guardians of the SJW Galaxy took the screen - cardboard characters wisecracking their way through vacant scenes.

In fact, that's most of the movie. Most of the men act like 12 year old boys, arguing at the drop of a hat. That's supposed to be Stark's gimmick, but most of the heroes (males) act that way. There's no difference between Stark, Peter Parker or even Dr. Strange or even his Buddhist buddy.

Most of the dialogue is banter. Mostly the so called actors pose their way through scenes. The fight scenes are so CGI and camera movement heavy that it's impossible to tell what's happening.

The movie made a lot of money - a lot of people love the Emperor's new suit.
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The Death of Superman (2018 Video)
1/10
Tired, Uninspired, Old Hat
14 August 2018
Warning: Spoilers
There's nothing new in this story, and there's nothing old done better than it was done before. There is a bore fest with 0 real action until the half way mark - 40 minutes of a weak love story, boring conversations, tired superheroes train in a simulator, and superheroes act like 16 year olds.

There was a scene in JL Unlimited in which Batman easily saw through Clay Face pretending to be Flash. Batman knew it wasn't really Flash because Clay Face was hamming it up too much, taking Flash's personality too far.

Not only is Flash that same caricature - Flash gone too far - in this movie, but Aquaman and GL act like Flash gone too far too.

Is this really a spoiler since everyone knew it would happen - Superman dies with the final, killing blow to Doomsday. Gee, we haven't seen that before.

It seems Doomsday's greatest power is in boring audiences to death. We get it, he's tough, and he's tough, and he's tough, and he's tough, and tough...

Good grief, come up with something original, new.

The voice acting is wooden.

The animation is pathetic.

Avoid this at all costs. You can't go in there, watching it. It will bore you to death.
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2/10
Good vs Evil Is Missing
4 May 2018
What made the original terrific was good vs evil. In the Hollyweird of 2018, there is no good or bad. There is only moral relativity. Without the reality of good vs evil, this show falls flat.

What if Karate Kid were lame? What if we can't pick good guys or bad guys because we've been brainwashed to think up is down and right is wrong? This show answers those questions.
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2/10
The Ones Paying Are the Viewers
17 April 2018
Hell to pay? Nobody who suffers through this will ever have to go to hell. Watching this is worth an eternity of damnation.

This is more of the DC universe pulled thinner by unimaginative creators working for a quick pay check.

The voice acting is weak and by the numbers. There's a mellow voiced goth girl, a growling whisperer, a posh semi British guy - all the stereotype voices are present.

The movie is full of dull situations that make no sense. A super villain rides a villain train. People break in to kill him. He has no mechanism to separate his car, near the front, from the rest of the train. What?

The story mocks Christianity. Of course has leftist themes and references - the only example given of sexual misconduct in Washington is a Republican story - hey, that big one with President Clinton getting a BJ under the WH desk is out there, leftist folks.

This is bad bad bad x10 bad and even more bad.
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1/10
Unimaginative People Pulled the Batman Character Cloth Even Thinner
16 April 2018
This is a poor attempt to paste Batman and his supporting characters onto something else.

The characters are cardboard, the story unappealing, the voice acting uninspired.

Unimaginative people keep pulling the Batman (and really the entire DC universe) thinner and thinner. What if Batman were a vampire? What if Superman were Russian? What if - we removed the heart of every DC character?

That's what it really comes down to - removing the hearts of characters because poor story tellers want jobs telling stories.
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10/10
Like It or Not, You're Gonna Love it - It's the Best Thing Going
8 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Pop the popcorn, turn off the lights, watch a series of reviews of some of the best (and worst) monster movies ever made. For 10 years, James created gold - 31 episodes each year. It's a must see for horror movie fans.

Thankfully, he didn't truly end Monster Madness as promised. Instead, in 2017 he created Son of Monster Madness - 5 reviews and a number of features including compilations of past years' Monster Madness episodes.

For me, MM is an October tradition just as a Christmas Tree is a December tradition.

If you haven't seen this, in James' words, "give it a watch".
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1/10
Somewhere, a Video Game is Missing Its Cut Scenes
5 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Or is it some cut scenes are missing their video game? This movie wouldn't be bad if it was delivered in short segments around video game play. But as a movie, it leaves a lot to be desired.

That's not accurate. It leaves everything to be desired.

The core message in the movie is George W. Bush masterminded the 9/11 attack to gain popularity and steal the oil in Iraq. It's a rotten message, and the delivery is very poorly done.

Everything about this movie is derivative. Elements that were clever in the 80's and 90's, like the news reports delivering important information and mood, are now just tired reruns. Just using those news reports with the sarcastic tone would be bad enough, but in this movie the news reports often repeat information that was just given. So any chance of their being interesting or necessary is lost in a wave of redundancy.

The voice acting is painful to hear. Many of the female characters have a habit of adding an extra syllable to the end of words - like pouty teenage girls do." If it's not an extra syllable, it's a big intake of breath.

"Why are you doing this to me-uh?" "Send the ships (huhhhh)" It's very bad.

Characters go from absolute panic to over confident swagger to absolute panic to overconfident swagger - repeat the cycle 10 more times - in the same scene. It happens scene after scene. Are they overconfident veterans or panicked kids? It'f fine to be both at different times, but it's not fine to be both at the same time.

The shifting attitude of the characters goes right along with the overuse of the in-helmet, close up view of a panicked face. That's only broken up by the in-helmet, close up view of an overconfident face. It's shots by the numbers.

The story is by the numbers. An egotistical leader plots evil doings to get the people on her side. One man uncovers the plot, and he pulls the two heroes into the standard busting the conspiracy action. Star Trek" The Undiscovered Country did it much better.

There's some decent action buried in this mess, but it's buried too deep and it's too infrequent. That's where a video game would come in handy. If a player could get immersed in living the action for long stints between the awful movie, it would serve as glue that held the narrative together.

But the video game is absent along with entertainment value.
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1/10
Good Story Disguised as Crap
3 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Somewhere in this movie is a good story. But thanks to awful direction, that good story is buried in a jumbled, un-entertaining mess.

For the most part, nobody speaks in this movie. They banter. They deliver rapid fire one liners, quips, rather than lines. Crescendo becomes meaningless if everything is a crescendo. Quips, one liners, funny moments become cumbersome when every moment is filled with ironu and poor attempts at humor.

There's a young girl character called something with a z. I can't remember the name. But the actress is awful. She doesn't speak her banter, she poses it. Even when she stands still, she does it in a deliberate way. Everything from her is forced, unnatural.

There are flashbacks and even flashbacks within flashbacks, so it's hard to keep track of an ongoing story. Bay, as usual, makes use of too much slow motion. In one scene, one of the Transformers fires a time slowing weapon. But the effect is lost because it blends into all the other slow motion action. Some people caught in the weapon's range are moving slowly, but everyone moves slowly when there's action. So, um, what's happening?

A lot of the effects look like something out of a theme park attraction. There are lots of explosions, bullets ricocheting, and sparks, but nothing seems close to the people who are the targets of the massive fire power. Once in awhile the action goes to super slow motion (that's why the slo mo weapon is confusing) as something barely misses a ducking and dodging human who shouldn't be capable of moving fast enough to get out of the way.

Transformers roll around, losing pieces of their bodies. The action is shown with an always moving camera, with time jumps, and zoomed in to the point it's impossible to tell how the fight is progressing. Are all those pieces flying off a giant robot important? Is the robot winning or losing the fight? Did that part fly off before now, or is now a flashback, or is it a time jump? Is a robot hurt? Who knows?

Speaking of time jumps, Bay loves to approach a scene then jump past the beginning, into the middle of the action. Someone is walking out of a building, a car approaches, then suddenly the person is inside the car in the middle of a chase scene. There's a lack of continuity. It's hard for a viewer to get his bearings, and thus it's hard to enjoy the scene. WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!???? It doesn't help that the minds behind this movie pasted Transformers on top of King Arthur.

The whole movie feels rushed, or feels like it has too much cut out of it. Bay makes action in a disjointed way, and the overall movie is delivered in a disjointed way.

It's hard to watch and even harder to like.

Michael Bay makes the song a complicated mess.

Transformers! More than meets the eye. Transformers! Robots in disguise. Transformers!

Autobots wage their battle To destroy the evil forces Of the Decepticons

Transformers!

Autobots are King Arthur's Knights And an evil queen Wants to destroy the Earth But it's called Unicron And there's a chosen one With a moving talisman But there's another chosen one Who wields Merlin's staff It was given to him By the Autobots
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Doctor Who: World Enough and Time (2017)
Season 10, Episode 11
1/10
Surprise
19 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This episode is based on a surprise, That's because the story is empty. Surprise holds interest when there's nothing else to hold interest.

There's a difference between containing a surprise and based on a surprise. There's nothing else in this episode except keeping info away from the audience - if they're not really paying attention - and then revealing that information.

This episode, and the next, are also flashbacks. This one starts with the Doctor regenerating. Then it flashes back to the adventure that caused his regeneration. But in the middle of that action, it flashes back to what led to the adventure that caused the regeneration. It's another way to distract the audience from a nothing story.

The problem with basing a story on surprise and flashbacks is the story has 0 replay value. When the original Mondas Cybermen appeared in Doctor Who, they were so interesting and so sinister that a viewer could be drawn into watching and re-watching the story. But this re-introduction of the Mondas Cybermen has no engaging bad guys, no sinister interactions, nothing but a surprise that anyone familiar with Doctor Who sees from a mile away. It has no replay value. It has nothing but tricks bad writers use to fool viewers into thinking they're entertained. But in the end, they realize they're empty - the story delivered nothing.

Hey, did you know Bill is gay? That's so cool! The Doctor explains that Time Lords have moved beyond any petty gender stereotypes.

The New Who male Master returns. Missy is a more masculine Master than the male Master is. Soon, the Doctor will be a woman.

There are some lame self aware jokes about the Doctor being named Doctor Who, and about his companions being plot devices for exposition and comic relief.

The concept of time dilation and how it affects people is handled much better in Star Trek New Voyages - World Enough and Time. That was written by a talented writer, Marc Scott Zicree, who wrote for Babylon 5 and many other shows. He worked from a script originally written by Michael Reaves, who wrote for Batman the Animated Series and many other shows. Their story has terrific plot, drama, and character development. Moffat, who wrote this Doctor Who episode, has only tricks to mask his story's lack of plot, drama, and character development.

Bill, or the actress who plays her, once again reveals her acting range. She uses the same wide eyed, mouth in a forced grin look for sadness, horror, happiness, in fact for every emotion she over acts on screen.

New Who even ruins the return of the original Cybermen, and these are the original originals - the cloth faced Cybermen the first Doctor faced. Reboot New Who uses the silly, metal footed sound effects from the lame, alternate universe Cybermen. Boo.
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