This terrible show features a bunch of D list forgotten pretty-boy sitcom stars hoping for a comeback. They all get together for acting classes and career coaching. None of them takes any of the professional advice seriously. They tend casting sessions, go on embarrassing "photo walks" to see who attracts the most paparazzi. Some of them don't attract any attention at all. As far as I know, this ridiculous enterprise did not jump start any careers, but probably ended a few more permanently This was a Scott Baio Production, preceding his embarrassing turn as the "star" of Donald Trump's ludicrous, moronic Republican National Convention in July of 2016.
Reviews
26 Reviews
Murrow
(1986 TV Movie)
Lots of White Men Smoking Cigarettes
26 April 2016
People were not especially fascinated with early television when this first came out in 1986. America had become a bombastic, boastful place and "ethics" were something to be sneered at. Maybe that's why this did not create the buzz that came decades later with "Good Night and Good Luck." My, did we all take ourselves seriously back then! We were just discovering that television was not going to be a great teacher after all, but a circus on the air. This takes place mostly in offices, which is always dull, and the cast is mostly middle-aged, all white men in period suits. There is not really that much about the television industry itself -- very little that is colorful or entertaining except the then-perplexing rise of game shows. Daniel J. Travanti is an odd choice, not very interesting as Murrow, but it was his year. The rest of the cast is lackluster. The most exciting moment comes when the phones ring after an anti-Joe McCarthy broadcast. Now, *that's* television!
Man of La Mancha
(1972)
Lifeless and Dull
19 January 2016
Some things just shouldn't be filmed. I saw "Man of La Mancha" when it opened in 1965 at the ANTA Theater in New York. What made the show a hit was the inventive staging, in which the world of Don Quixote was created out of the imagination, making the whole experience reasonably magical. Film-wise, it made sense to open the story up and show real plains, horses, taverns and wenches, but at the same time there went the magic. It turns out that "Don Quixote" is not all that interesting, especially when told in such a plodding way and with such drab sets and costumes. When the knight of the woeful continence tilts at his first windmill and the intended humor falls flat, you know you're in for a long, dull show. A second salient point of the stage musical was the semi-operatic score, full of Spanish-sounding music that rose above the pedestrian lyrics and gave the show what little passion it has. Casting people who can barely sing in the starring roles was unwise. Peter O'Toole seems to sing some parts but is dubbed in others, and the effect is none too pleasing. Sophia Loren seems like obvious, perfect casting as Dulcinea, and she is amazingly beautiful, but sings in a low, tense voice that suggests nothing of inner fire. James Coco plays Sancho Panza in an awkward, sad and lifeless way. Coco started out as a star in "The Last of the Red Hot Lovers," and then his career sank as it became increasingly clear that his acting talents were limited. Lots of talents were used to no good purpose here.
Alice in Wonderland
(1933)
Down the Rabbit Hole into Looking Glass House
8 January 2016
This movie is almost legendary, with an alleged star studded cast of people who actually weren't quite stars. We had seen bits and pieces over the years, but never watched it from the beginning until it was on TV recently. The sad fact is, it's not nearly as good as it should be. Movies were supposedly entering into their golden age at this point, but maybe they weren't quite there yet in 1933. This version of Lewis Carroll's immortal tale is dull and leaden, without magic and without an ounce of charm. It starts out with an invented character, a sour-faced old aunt who sets the dark, scolding tone. Alice falls asleep and goes not only through the looking glass but also down the rabbit hole in a confusing set of sequences. Someone thought it was a good idea to try to replicate the famous John Tenniel illustrations from the book, resulting in a lot of grotesque, amateurish looking papier-mâché heads covering up all the characters. The tone shifts throughout, with stylized creatures like the frog and the fish mixed in with real life ducks. Scenes come and go in a hodgepodge, none of them very funny or light of touch. We wanted this to be better from beginning to end, but alas. Nobody has ever really captured "Alice in Wonderland" correctly except for Lewis Carroll himself.
Two Weeks in Another Town
(1962)
Bitchy Women and Other Cardboard Characters
30 December 2015
This is surprisingly dull and tedious, considering it was directed by Vincent Minnelli. Supposedly another expose about filmmaking, it is a sort-of sequel to "The Bad and the Beautiful," and there are even a few scenes shown from that much-better movie. There is little about movie making in "Two Weeks in Another Town," however, which is ostensibly about a movie being filmed in Rome (a center of movie making in the 1960's) but is mostly about ex-wives and girl friends. Most of the women are bitchy and interchangeable (Claire Trevor, Cyd Charisse), most of the men are cardboard characters (Kirk Douglas, Edward G. Robinson) and some of the scenes are ridiculous, such as the one where a woman gets a slap in the face at a glamorous event. This movie gives us that cliché soliloquy from an actor playing an actor about the pain and loneliness of being an actor. So ironic, so theatrical, so moving! And then there's dull Dahlia Lavi. Some of us are old enough to recall Dahlia (who later changed the spelling to Daliah) gracing the covers of almost every magazine as Hollywood's most glamorous new discovery, only to quickly disappear. The movie also looks surprisingly trashy, with garish colors and vulgar sets, a child's idea of glamor.
Accused at 17
(2009)
Teenage Pranks We've Seen Before
28 August 2015
This very familiar story may have been inspired by several real life crimes, cobbled together for this predictable exercise. Three teenage girls, led by a bully, gang up against a fourth girl and inadvertently kill her while trying to "teach her a lesson". Among the remaining three, mostly-innocent Bianca is also conveniently mostly-at-odds with her single mother and has left a trail of mostly-damning clues; the second girl, Sarah, is a weak-willed asthmatic follower, and the third, Fallon, is an ice cold, manipulating sociopath. Predictably, the most decent people in the story suffer the earliest consequences, as if to underscore the point that no good deed goes unpunished. Because she is the first to spill the beans, Bianca is charged with the crime ("Accused at 17") and conspired against by the other two. Trying to clear her daughter's name, Bianca's mother investigates but has her daughter's habit of leaving misleading clues when Sarah is subsequently also found dead. Evil Fallon plants evidence and tells lies, and also has a shallow, narcissistic mother who sunbathes by their pool, practices yoga and drinks martini's from an over-sized martini glass. The only familiar actor in the cast is William R. Moses, wasted in a one-note role as Fallon's clueless but decent father. It all leads to a formulaic conclusion where everything is revealed in one scene less than five minutes before the movie ends. You sort of see it coming.
Deadly Honeymoon
(2010 TV Movie)
Deadly Dull
8 August 2015
Based on a recent true event, this colorless movie tells the tale of a young couple on their honeymoon cruise, but the starring role seems to have gone to Zoe McLellan as the ship's social director. She gets all the close ups and glamor shots, and her glistening cleavage is most on display throughout the film. It makes for an odd and lopsided tale, since she is at the center of every crime-solving scene, an unlikely place for the ship's social director to be. The story concerns the mysterious death of the handsome young husband, played by chiseled Chris Carmac looking as if he had just stepped out of an Abercrombie & Fitch ad, which in fact he has. The former model has little to do but look attractive, which he does in a generic way that evokes countless other male models of recent vintage. His churlish young wife is played by Summer Glau, glowering her way through the honeymoon. Did some Russian playboys kill the husband, or did the wife do it in a fit of jealous rage? We may never know, and this dull movie does little to pique our interest. By the end, you probably won't care who did it. There is no atmosphere, no sense of being at sea or aboard a ship. This is a drab, cheap snooze with an unknown cast set in a variety of colorless rooms and offices. Deadly indeed.
A Family Plot
24 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This is an uneven mixture of a crime drama and a black comedy, similar in many ways to Hitchcock's own "Family Plot" a decade later, even to the extent of using many of same sets of characters. This episode is replete with plot chiches, so many so that it is more fun to count them than it is to watch the predictable story unfold. It begins with an awkward, unlikely scene that seems to have no point, so the viewer can only guess that, like the gun at the beginning of a Checkov play, it will go off later in the plot, which it does. The plot concerns handsome George Maxwell, played by Patrick O'Neal, who is married to ditzy southern belle Mavis, daughter of George's rich and powerful boss. Mavis' parents live in a southern Gothic mansion with pillars on the porch and a Negro maid, this being 1964. George and his father in law have a man to man talk about the male roving eye, and the father warns George that he will never let anyone cause heartbreak for his daughter. George gulps, because he is has already been having an affair with his former mistress, a leggy showgirl whom he has found dead when arriving at her home for their final rendezvous. After finding her body, he had wiped away his fingerprints and retreated, imaging that nobody will be the wiser. But this is where a minor character reappears to become a major player and complicates the plot in dangerous ways. Soon we see ditzy Mavis planting roses, having already dug a ditch about eight feet long and three feet wide. We wonder what might eventually be buried in that innocent-looking hole, and find out soon enough, because Mavis turns out to be not so ditzy. Complicating matters even further is George's efficient, observant secretary, who is unusually plain -- so plain that she wears ugly, over-sized glasses and her hair in a bun, lest we miss the point. Knowing all the details, she presses her advantage. Can you see what might be coming next? The only surprise for this viewer was that the plain secretary's makeover did not make her stunning, only mildly attractive. The ridiculous story finally ends on an upbeat note with the promise of another murder, and everyone has a good laugh.
When She Married Mr. Snow
18 July 2015
Mrs. Snow, also known as Aunt Addie, is so rich she has a walk-in safe. She is a kind, pleasant lady played by the excellent Patricia Collinge, but she doesn't really care for her niece Lorna's brand new husband Bruce. He is played by the excellent Don Chastain, who never achieved quite the stardom people had anticipated -- he is a talented actor with a strong presence and chiseled, photogenic features, but luck and timing play their part. New wife and niece Lorna is played by Jessica Walters, beautiful of course, but always a little strong of jaw to be playing 1960's ingénues. This viewer enjoyed cocktails with Ms. Walters many decades ago, and of course she was very pleasant, but nothing could erase the indelible impression she made in her performance as frigid, bitchy Libby in "The Group," also made around this time. But back to Mrs. Snow, who finds herself in a claustrophobic situation thanks to the evil Bruce. As her ordeal unfolds, she is given to soliloquies that are delivered persuasively to her cat. These scenes are artfully handled, and Patricia Collinge pulls the viewer into sharing her mounting panic. This is neatly juxtaposed with scenes of sophisticated couples enjoying a stylish cocktail party, blissfully unaware of poor Mrs. Snow's ongoing ordeal. These scenes are also sharply photographed, and you may enjoy the 1960's cocktail dresses on display. It's all very chic, but it ends too abruptly, on a note of sudden revelation. That's all very arty, of course, but we really want the cathartic scene where we see what happens to Bruce. Nevertheless, this is one of the best written, best acted and best directed episodes of the series.
Follow Me into the Spirit World
4 July 2015
You don't have to be psychic to foresee events in this episode. The minute it steps off into the metaphysical, you're pretty sure where it's going. Beautiful rich heiress Grace Renford has been corresponding with Keith, whom she met through a spiritual magazine, and they are about to meet. She has been hurt before by men who were only after her money, so this time she'll pretend to be a mere secretary who lives on $80 a week in a "dime store apartment" that she has rented. Her dime store apartment is pretty large and luxurious for San Francisco, but we digress. For reasons never explained, actress Diana Hyland as Grace has been coiffed and made up to look like Grace Kelly herself, right down to the oversized glasses she occasionally wears to prove she's not vain. For their very first meeting, our Grace has invited Keith to a home-cooked dinner in her dime store apartment, even though she confesses she can't cook. He arrives at her door, strikingly handsome and well dressed. They share a love of poetry; he reads her a maudlin poem about "beyond the sea of death." She is awkward, burns the steak and mismanages the coffee. Her character is poorly written here, as she proves to be a charmless, graceless hostess, not at all the poised, adroit heiress who presumably glides through society. In fact, poor Grace becomes an immediate drip, overcome with guilt and self-doubt at pretending not to be her rich-heiress self. Once Grace and Keith have blurted out their unlikely passions for one another, however, she spills the beans, and fortunately he is not the least bit upset to discover that she is wealthy. He will stand on his own, he asserts, eschewing her riches. Alas, however, they must now part for a while before they are reunited in marriage. He must fly to Bolivia, and will send for her. Meanwhile, skeptical Aunt Minnie, well-played by Mildred Dunnock, has been watching from the sidelines and is not convinced that all is well. Events turn tragic as the paint-by-number plot continues to unfold. Aunt Minnie does a little sleuthing. Everything is predictable except for a sudden, ugly ending. The biggest surprise of all is for busybody Aunt Minnie, who meant well, but probably should not have meddled so. No good deed goes unpunished, Aunt Minnie.
Larry Pennell's Tom of Finland Moment
24 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
When handsome, overly muscular actor Larry Pennell first appears in a skin tight T-shirt and cool greaser hair, he looks like a male hustler as imagined by Tom of Finland. The year being 1961, we wonder where this might be leading, but it turns out Mr. Pennell's looks and physique do not figure at all in the plot, an ordinary story of a murder and a cover-up. Larry plays Larry, whose brother James has killed his own wife. Complications ensue, but we are distracted waiting for the scene where Larry takes his shirt off. Spoiler Alert: It never happens. Larry even puts on a few more clothes later in the plot, thus wasting his talent. There is a lot of tossing about of a rolled up rug that may or may not hold a body. Ultimately, however, after all the racing around and cover ups, the ending turns out to be a total turn off, one of those endings that makes you wish you hadn't bothered. Larry Pennell went on to play a character named Rod Riprock on "The Beverly Hillbillies," which makes more sense.
Something For Her Heartburn
20 May 2015
Lackluster middle-aged businessman Barney, played by lackluster middle-aged actor Dan Daily, is tired of his oppressive wife, played by Jan Sterling, and has attracted an unlikely, pretty new girlfriend whom he insists on introducing to his best friend Peter, a handsome womanizer played by Howard Duff. Craving the prize for himself, Peter doesn't waste a beat moving in, manipulating and backstabbing his old friend in order to gain the girl. Meanwhile, Barney's wife is having an affair of her own with someone else, and everyone is pretty unlikable in his or her way. When the family dog of 15 years suddenly drops dead, nobody seems particularly upset. A tender poisoning, indeed. For no explicit reason it seems that Barney has decided to commit some of the titular poisonings, but in a clumsy and obvious way. Fortunately, his wife has gastro-intestinal problems and takes two heaping tablespoons of bicarbonate of soda every night, making things easy for any would-be poisoner. Lots of powders are spooned into lots of drinking glasses during this episode, and the surprise ending doesn't really make sense, even though you can see it coming.
Fun Times With Alcohol
16 May 2015
Even big fans of Tony Randall might not have any patience with this really bad episode. He plays an obnoxious, staggering drunk throughout, and is not the least bit entertaining doing so. Some scenes are apparently meant to be funny, staged back when being an alcoholic was a laughing matter. He wakes up one morning to find Jayne Mansfield in his bed instead of his sourpuss wife, and the rest of the show consists of predictable flashbacks that show us how he drank, drank, drank and drank some more to finally get where he is. Every scene shows him making and drinking martinis, which gets old quickly. Teaming Randall with Mansfield took little imagination, since they played essentially the same roles in "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter" a year or two earlier. Jayne is already on the downside of her career here, looking overweight and not at all attractive in short, short, short hair. This viewer was/is a big Jayne Mansfield fan, finding her far more intriguing and interesting than rival Marilyn, but she makes almost no impression here. Considering the two big stars at hand, this is really disappointing.
The Jack Cassidy Show
9 May 2015
Jack Cassidy never achieved the stardom he craved, which is pretty sad considering how desperately he seemed to want it. Not nearly as handsome as wife Shirley Jones has always insisted, he was a leading man on Broadway, but the camera picked up something cold and slightly epicene, making him an unlikely leading man. He was best at playing smarmy con artists and smiling assassins, which is exactly what he plays here in this very dull episode. Too much talking between two characters in one room takes up most of the time. There's too much of Jack Cassidy's grinning teeth. Too much of Jack Cassidy making veiled comments. When fire plays a huge role in the plot, there's too much reminding us that Jack Cassidy died that way. There's a lot of cat-and-mouse, a few other characters, but it's mostly about Jack Cassidy attempting to create something out of nothing and not succeeding.
Among the Worst
8 May 2015
In its latter days, "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour" began running episodes that looked like rejects from "The Twilight Zone," bordering on the popular surreal approach while attempting to remain crime dramas. This one features the Thanos Hotel, where reluctant, wannabe suicides go to have someone else do it for them. The premise is ridiculous, but in these years before Dr. Kevorkian and a rising suicide rate, maybe it didn't seem quite so ghoulish. The hotel is sort of like a dude ranch, where for some reason people wear cowboy hats and ride horses. It's also like a Roach Motel, in that once you check in you can't check out. Steven Hill is the colorless actor who wants to commit suicide but changes his mind. Angie Dickenson is the luminous star at hand in a role that makes little sense, but her radiant beauty is the only reason to watch this dull, confusing episode, which is among the worst of the series.
A Women's World
7 May 2015
Barbara Barrie could look beautiful or plain, but with her angular bone structure and fine features, she had trouble looking fat, which is the main requirement for this odd role. Miss Barrie wakes up into an hallucinatory, all-female world in which she and her fellow "Mothers" (don't ask) are all wearing unconvincing "fat suits," and are fed like pigs from platters of cream puffs. There are too many styles going on in this odd episode, with some ladies in their fat suits, others obviously played by men, and others played by children. What to make of it all? Miss Barrie is puzzled by this world peopled only by women, because she has strange recollections of men. Gladys Cooper appears (stepping from "My Fair Lady" in turn-of-the-century attire) as the town historian, who instructs Miss Barrie in the ways of this world, where all men were wiped out years ago by some plan gone awry. Unfortunately, none of this is very interesting or compelling. The back story is too complex, and it all points to nothing. Ivy Bethune also appears as one of many nurses.
Rusty and Helen's Big Adventure
5 May 2015
Ann Sothern and John Cassavetes are stars from opposite decades -- she from the 1940's, and he from the 1970's -- but they meet here in the early 1960's as an unlikely duo of lovers/con artists named Rusty and Helen. Their aim is to find hidden loot left by Rusty's dying cell mate, who also happens to have been Helen's former lover. This is one of my least favorite plot lines, and the characters of Helen and Rusty are not particularly interesting as they plot to find the loot without much to go on. Rusty is all dark, nervous energy, and Helen seems half-asleep. This was shot during Ann Sothern's plump period, when her heavy eyelashes seemed to weigh down her eyelids, adding to her not-quite-there quality. Rusty and Helen employ juvenile logic and follow ridiculous clues that lead, unconvincingly, to a rat infested, abandoned shack where you just can't trust anybody. Helen pulls a fancy switch, but can't seem to quit while she's ahead and hangs around too long to gloat. These people are their own worst enemies, and therein lies this episode's cautionary tale.
Kingdom By The Sea
4 May 2015
Dean Stockwell started out as "The Boy With Green Hair" in the 1950's and went on to play a variety of offbeat roles. He was handsome enough to be considered attractive, but odd enough to be seen as sinister. He appeared in lots of these 1960's dramas playing a variety of creepy roles, and he does so here as the intense young David. David can't accept the fact that wide-eyed Susan Oliver, the Annabel of the title, has married someone else, and pursues her anyway. She is much too kind, this Annabel Lee, even when it's obvious that David has become an obsessed stalker, and she nevertheless allows him to call her and send gifts. This infuriates her new husband, whose rash, idiotic need for vengeance leads to its own unhappy conclusion. Meanwhile, David is being pursued by co-worker Linda, who is puzzled as to why this attractive young man is not equally attracted to her, and this being 1962, she can't figure out any reason at all. She stalks him, trespasses, peeks through windows, every bit as creepy as he is, and draws the wrong conclusions for all her efforts. After much ado, stupid Annabelle allows herself to be tricked into visiting David in his remote country home. As is too often the case in these Hitchcock productions, the ladies here begin to act a little too foolishly. Just as Tippi Hedron gratuitously entered a bird infested attic in "The Birds," so Annabelle enters David's isolated home, and once they are alone and she is trapped, confronts him and threatens to call the police. Smart move, lady. Here, things take on a "Psycho" twist, and soon thereafter foolhardy Linda, the ultimate busybody, comes traipsing into the scene. Too many ridiculous things all happen at once towards the end, but nevertheless it makes for entertaining TV. Kathleen Nolan plays Linda in this all-star cast.
Nurse With A Heart of Gold
21 April 2015
Here's a story as old as the hills, and yet it always seems to work. A handsome rake uses his charms to woo a plain woman in order to get something from her -- a fortune, as in "The Heiress," or the keys to his freedom as in this episode. Colleen Dewhurst as nurse Ellen is a good enough actress to convince us that she's plain, but not quite good enough to convince us she'd be dumb enough to fall for this dangerous killer, who is in her care after suffering a gunshot wound in his capture. He is played by chiseled, handsome Tom Simcox, a 1960's pretty boy with an easy masculinity that might best be captured by Tom of Finland. All things considered, it's surprising that Simcox didn't become a bigger star, but I digress. As the plot unfolds, nurse Ellen remains surprisingly brave and cool, and when things get dangerous, her reactions are so strange that she seems to be in shock. In the very satisfying ending, however, we realize that all along there has been more to nurse Ellen than we imagined. The cast includes future "Mod Squad" star Peggy Lipton in a small role.
Wally From Squaresville
10 April 2015
Wally is plain, dull and balding. His fiancée, who looks like Jacqueline Suzanne, thinks she's hip and he's from Squaresville, so she dumps him. Wally realizes he is, in fact, dull, balding and from Squaresville. Walking home, he passes and elaborate wig and hair shop (the kind found in every small town?), wanders in and is encouraged to try on a wig and fake beard. He does, and voila! He is a changed man, with a pompous new personality that seems to attract women. After boasting about his imagined yacht, he even picks up a materialistic blond right in front of her boyfriend. Instead of simply adopting his new look and the confident new personality that seems to go with it, and for no reason whatsoever, he develops two persona, one as pompous Philip with the beard and the other as Wally from Squaresville. As with Superman and Clark Kent in glasses, nobody seems to recognize Wally with the beard. This adds to all sorts of complications, including confusing his suspicious landlady, who demands more rent if two men are living there. This being 1965, the nature of the two men's relationship is never questioned, but that landlady sure wants her extra rent and goes to great length to get it. Philip, courting the blond, furthers his yachtsman fraud by attempting to purchase a boat, at which point the blond's original boyfriend reenters the picture. Here, the plot deviates into something else entirely, with every character acting in complete opposition to normal human behavior. Even after the police become involved, Wally/Philip carries on the charade and further complicates the plot, which at this point has become ridiculous. Unless your characters behave with some shred of a believable motive, your story falls apart. This is very poor writing and a stupid episode, right to the last, unbelievable shot.
Three Dopes In A Big House
9 April 2015
A rich, unappealing husband and a young, attractive wife live in a big, luxurious house. Hm. Where will this go? When the husband hires an attractive young male assistant played by too-perfectly-1960's handsome Donnelly Rhodes, we think we know. She flirts with other men. He is stern and disapproving until she flirts with him and the expected passion flares. The house features an unusual device, and the minute its function and faults are overly explained -- really, really overly explained -- we know exactly how this is going to end. Surprise ending? Hardly. Robert Strauss is too goofy and unappealing to make a likely husband for lovely Anne Francis. Their marriage never seems remotely plausible to begin with, and everyone behaves like a dimwit in the interests of furthering the unlikely plot.
A Dark And Stormy Night
9 April 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Who was Dana Wynter? She was an almost-star with the dark, mid-1960's look of Barbara Parkins and her ilk, and she receives solo star billing in this episode, a Gothic melodrama featuring three nurses in an old house on a dark and stormy night. Winds blow, trees writhe, shutters clap but Dana Wynter stays cool and beautiful through it all. The other nurses are more interesting: Louise Latham plays drunken Maude, perhaps reminding us that she was also "Marnie"'s mother in that Hitchcock thriller. A third nurse, Nurse Ames, doesn't manage to conceal the "surprise" ending for long. You'll probably guess it well before it comes. John Kerr, on the downside of his brief and unlikely career as a leading man, is on hand for the dull love interest. This episode won a Poe Award, but it's hard to see why. Maybe things were more surprising back in 1965.
Heartbreak By the Sea
24 March 2015
Time was not kind to Arthur Kennedy, who was once a strikingly handsome leading man, but within ten years was playing character roles, like middle aged Keith Holland in this cliché ridden episode. Unhappily married to a humorless woman played by Phyliss Thaxter, Keith nevertheless insists on their purchasing a beach house that will be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a movie shot in Malibu. He loves it and she loathes it, sensing bad vibes. He flirts with the local young females, and in one of the more embarrassing scenes drags his wife to a youthful bar where they watch teenagers doing outrageous dances like "The Twist" and "The Mashed Potatoes," marveling at the very sight of it all. He starts an affair with a young babe, and this being 1962 it is never explained why she might be remotely attracted to him, but she is apparently his for the taking. He starts working out and trying to look younger, then begins digging a mysterious hole in the basement. Where could this possibly be leading? The surprise twist is okay, but it's been done before. Future heartthrobs Tisha Sterling and Michael Blodgett appear in tiny roles. In a way, you've seen this before.
Stupid Woman Takes In Perfect Stranger
10 March 2015
One thing Alfred Hitchcock could always do was draw major talents to his television productions. In this case it's Roddy McDowell, surprisingly dashing and handsome as a thief who needs a hiding place for himself and his ill-gotten cash. A simple-minded old lady played by Ruth McDevitt literally picks him up at a small town sing along concert, inviting this perfect stranger for dinner in her home where she lives alone. He soon moves in, calling her "Auntie" and taking full advantage of her sheer stupidity. One of her senile eccentricities is that she collects stacks of old magazines, and when Roddy decides to hide his ill-gotten thousand dollar bills within the pages of those magazines, well, it's not too difficult to imagine what happens later. Roddy has his slutty girlfriend move in, which helps in no particular way to further the plot, and although "Auntie" is momentarily jealous, she seems to go along with it in a way that is ultimately unlikely. Unfortunately Roddy is too obviously a slickster, and Auntie is too foolishly, unbelievably gullible to make this episode especially interesting.
The Heiress Redux
7 March 2015
This plot will be reasonably familiar to anyone who ever read "Washington Square," featuring a plain heiress and a dominating parent. In this case, the parent is Gloria Swanson, reprising her role as Norma Desmond with a touch of Malificent. Swanson is a scary lady -- I once spoke with her on the phone and she was scary even in that benign conversation. What charms she may once have had that made her a silent screen star remain mysterious. She would most likely have scared away any other suitor than James MacArthur, who reminds us that he was once a handsome and viable leading man. Lynne Loring plays a "plain" girl who is no plainer than anyone else, and whose bouffant hair styles and frosted lips do nothing to further that illusion. Once the two lovers are secretly married, the plot gets rickety, involving the fact that the bride is under age and the mother makes an unlikely offer to pay off the groom by funding his education in exchange for an annulment. Further complications involve a trust fund, which only slows down the story. The most annoying plot point comes late in the tale and involves a faked suicide that is foolish beyond redemption. The titular "locked door" turns out to be a looming presence that does little to enhance the plot, but makes for a Gothic ending.
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