stormhappy106 Reviews

Life & Beth (2022– )

An Office Full Of Ugly Freaks

[1/10 · 18 April 2022]

Not to mention boring--I started watching this because Howard Stern's praise for the show--I enjoy Amy Shumer and like her specials and some of her films--But this show is appalling--The first scene is incredibly boring(yeah I get it her job sucks)and then the next scene goes to her office which is populated by a group of people that are nightmares, and a boss that defies description(so unfunny compared to The Office)and then next scene is her boring husband,then the next scene a really boring scene at a store--Get the theme here? B-O-R-I-N-G...and depressing.

Annihilation (I) (2018)

This is an ugly, cheap, badly acted movie

[1/10 · 23 December 2019]

I wish I could give this 'movie' a zero--If you don't fall asleep in the first 30 minutes, then you're a better man than me. Oscar Issac(who makes Bill Murray in Broken Flowers look like a wild man here)comes back from a mission inside The Shimmering(think of Sphere but much larger)and then kicks the bucket. So, 5 female scientists decide to enter the Shimmering even though nobody else ever came out after going in, brilliant! Jennifer Jason Leigh, who has aged very badly, and has forgotten how to act, looks like she just wants to kill herself, how inspiring! They traipse around in a Disney-like Jungle, see a white alligator who's(gasp)really mean--The movie then goes downhill from there, one boring 'event' after another, made even less effective by too many abrupt and pointless flashbacks. I Implore you, do not see this movie!

Larry Crowne (2011)

A boring comedy full of ugly supporting characters

[1/10 · 25 June 2019]

I can't believe this movie was even released. Tom Hanks thought he could do no wrong after That Thing You Do, but he was woefully mistaken, this movie bombed with American audiences as well as Worldwide audiences, and for good reason. Julia Roberts is a cynical, burnt out teacher at a community college, so where is her appeal? and why is she singing that garbage opera in her car??The students are a joke, Bryan Cranston is totally wasted and unlikeable, he and Julia Roberts are a perfect pair lol--The young students change little about Tom Hanks appearance, and it just another cringeworthy scene, and condescending. Cedric the Entertainer is an ironic moniker here. Tom Hanks wife has a short scene where she virtually laughs at Tom Hanks bad luck. Tom looks ridiculous on his scooter. Avoid this so-called comedy at all costs

Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019) Season 8, Episode 6

A Boring Outrage

[1/10 · 20 May 2019]

Bran The Broken, let us hail the do-nothing cripple, what a bunch of crap this ending was

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

A Huge Pleasant Surprise, What A Rush!

[10/10 · 17 November 2017]

Went into this film with lowered expectations, since it only grossed $40 million in the United States--BUT I freaking LOVED this movie---From the first scene on the planet of the pearl people, to the spectacular Big Market scene(I had to rewind/rewatch it several times since Besson went thru there so fast)to the spectacular Alpha scenes, this movie had a good plot with fantastic visuals---The only bump in the road was Paradise Alley and Rhianna, this sequence slowed down the pace of the film and should have been cut---But never mind that, this movie was a great, imaginative adventure, like, as they say, Fifth Element on mega-steroids, --Valerian was well played by the male lead, youthful in appearance but a good actor with a Keannu Reeves-like voice--Cara was fine, and the British generals were great--One great scene after another, see this movie!

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

Unfunny Comedy that drags and promotes STD's--spoilers

[1/10 · 22 May 2015]

This film actually started out pretty good--Gosling, the ladies man, decides to help out Steve Carell,who is depressed over his wife leaving him- -Gosling helps him improve his appearance and eventually Carell is confident enough to pick up Marisa Tomei.

But then it goes downhill, and that's putting it mildly--The film fell apart--One boring scene after another,thought it would never end.

Not to mention any STD angle, or lack thereof: Gosling picks up every woman in sight, and nerdy loser Carell admits to bagging 8 more women after Tomei--What is this, the 1970's? If you want some scary facts, look up the historical incidence of STD's in the USA--Herpes is one example: check the graph from 1967 to the present, up every single year--There were 15,000 monthly visits to doctors regarding herpes in 1967--That number is now 350,000!! That's a twenty-fold increase in herpes since the late 1960's!

and the twist ending sure didn't help anything, actually made it worse--Avoid this film

Wild (I) (2014)

A Pointless Hike To Nowhere---Spoilers

[2/10 · 29 March 2015]

I wish pay-for-view had a refund policy

Reese plays a woman who in 1995 decides to walk 94 days from Mexico to Washington State because well....she's depressed, which you will be after seeing this film.

Unlike Tom Hank's character in Castaway, the viewer will have little sympathy or empathy for Reese's character, Cheryl--yeah sure Cheryl's mother died young but then Cheryl becomes loose, does drugs,gets pregnant, doesn't know who the father is,lands on skid row etc. then marries gets divorced cuz she cheated on him "several times" lol

But I digress, let's get to the hike itself--where nothing happens! oh yeah,there's this one scene where she's hitch hiking,a black guy stops and says oops can't give you ride but I do Hobo stories-- probably one of the most pointless scenes in movie history.

Other riveting scenes are she looks at her own excrement,throws up, gets rained on,gets thirsty,meets various boring white people along the way, gets a package and then guess what? picks up another package later--wow

Only thing worthwhile in this film are her nude scenes, she's still in good shape

This Is the End (2013)

Funny for 20 min then Danny McBride shows up--Spoilers

[5/10 · 22 March 2015]

For the first 20 minutes, this movie was actually funny, an end of

the world comedy with some nice special effects.

But then Danny McBride showed up--This guy is a NOTHING, a no-talent cretin--Everybody else in this film is actually funny at one point or another but not Danny--he absolutely ruined the film, or should I say, he just made a bad film much worse.

The film had a good idea with a funny cast but it just got worse and worse....and worse

How this film grossed over $100 mil is stupefying to say the least. more f-bombs than you can count, especially from that ugly nobody Danny Mcbride

Contact (1997)

Stunning Effects Highlight this Intelligent Sci-Fi Epic Film--spoilers

[9/10 · 7 March 2015]

Although this film tales a while to get going, it is worth the wait. A film that just gets better and better.

The acting is superb by everyone involved.

The scene where the first ship gets destroyed(by Gary Busey's son,all teeth like his father lol) really sets the pace for the excitement to come.

"Would you like to go for a ride"? ya gotta luv it

The actual takeoff with Jodie strapped in is without equal in Sci-Fi films and the special effects are so impressive that they dwarf Kubrick's 2001.

The scene at the Florida Psychedelic Beach was just beautiful in its over-the-top color and effects, and if you did not get moved to tears by the scene with Jody and her "father" there, then you are not human.

This film is a must-see for everyone

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

A Derivative and Depressing Mess----Spoilers

[2/10 · 12 February 2015]

Filmed in late Fall in grim and depressing England, this movie is a combo of Groundhog Day meets alien monsters from the Matrix and Cruise kills the Omega a la Pacific Rim--Alas all of those aforementioned movies are better than this junk.

Rarely have I seen so many ugly supporting actors in a film, although Cruise and Emily Blunt, the attractive couple, did OK with what they were given.

I would rather watch Oblivion ten more times than see this crap again. There is no sense of real terror or suspense, and the repetitive nature of the film was grating and annoying. Speaking of that, what was that awful song during the film's closing credits?

If you want to see a much better movie about Alien Invasions and the end of the Earth, see Darkest Hour with Emile Hirsch instead.

Georgy Girl (1966)

Mediocre

[3/10 · 18 January 2015]

Typical dreary 1960's British film made all the more depressing with its ancient black and white photography filmed during the winter.

This film was a continuation of the working class comedies and dramas starting with Albert Finney's "angry young man" theme starting in 1960 with Saturday NIGHT AND Sunday MORNING

Charlotte Rampling's detestable character is the drama part, while Lynn Redgrave's is the funny part--Redgrave is much more attractive than the ugly Charlotte Rampling anyway

Alan Bates is fine but a bit too animated. Watch for all the ugly and depressing buildings while they're taking the boat ride near the end.Austin Powers this film is not, despite the catchy, likable song by the New Seekers--

Godzilla (2014)

Thrilling Adventure

[9/10 · 16 January 2015]

Definitely the best Godzilla ever--Although I was also a fan of the 1996 film, this version blew me away.

The CGI Special Effects were the best ever. This was an unusual film in that you see most of the action from a spectators point of view,in the distance, with many incredible and shocking scenes.

The last half of the film is definitely more exciting than the first half, with almost non-stop action and spectacular special effects.

This film was a huge hit, grossing 200 million dollars in the USA alone. Don't miss it.

I'm hoping there will be a sequel

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

This is one exciting movie

[10/10 · 11 January 2015]

Renny Harlin does it again--Another excellent film of his from the 1990's. This could be his best.

It is not just the sharks that are the star of this fast-moving film, it is many other things--The excellent acting by the cast(with the exception of LLCoolJ who is likable but can't act), the CGI Sharks,the great musical score, and the amazing sets of this film make you really feel the claustrophobia, and the constant menace of the sharks and the water everywhere, adding to the fear of drowning as well'

This is an exciting film with many surprises, and you will have a fun time watching it

Cutthroat Island (1995)

One Of The Best Pirate Movies Ever

[10/10 · 8 January 2015]

Superb Action Flick, this film is one of the best rides you will ever have. The acting was great, the casting was great, and the story was excellent--It is hard to find a pirate movie this much fun, although the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies were great also.

Sit back, relax, and have a good time.

Having a female pirate in the lead was an inspiring choice(although we know it was Renny Harlin's wife). I think the only other female pirate movie was Anne Of The Indies(1952).

This film is totally believable, you really feel like you are watching a genuine true story. fun for all ages

2012 (I) (2009)

Pretty Ridiculous

[8/10 · 6 January 2015]

Surprised that Hollywood would bother to make a movie about the Mayan "curse" prediction of the end of the world--First, because there really is no prediction about the end of the world, and since its past 2012 now anyway, the whole premise seems pretty childish.

The other problem is the black lead actor with the ridiculous name--First of all, he's too ugly to be in a major motion picture of this magnitude, its quite distracting--Also he's not a very good actor, and for those 2 reasons is why his career, such as it was, died. Idris Elba would have been a MUCH better choice, a black actor who has some class, as well as being British.

Otherwise, most of the other actors were fine and the CGI/Special Effects were great.

Winter's Tale (2014)

Why was this movie released?

[1/10 · 5 January 2015]

With this cast you'd think something interesting would happen, but it doesn't. You will be screaming pretty soon "Where is my fast-forward button?!"

This has to be one of the slowest and dumbest movies I've ever seen.

Essentially, this a film with a bunch of has-been actors in the twilight of their careers.

Will Smith, who hasn't made a good movie in years, sucks.

Colin Ferrell, who NEVER made a good movie, also sucks--check his history, he's basically box-office poison.

Russell Crowe, who hit his ZENITH in the great GLADIATOR, has a checkered history since, but this is really his low point.

This film cost 60 million dollars to make, and only grossed a measly 8 million in the USA. That is a clear indication of a movie that is a total failure on all levels

Green Lantern (2011)

What A Nice Surprise

[8/10 · 3 January 2015]

I avoided this film for for a long time because I thought that many didn't like it(a la Daredevil)but was I wrong to avoid it! I loved this movie and have now seen it many times.

I barely remember reading Green Lantern as a kid, but who cares, this was a fun, exciting and impressive movie.

Ryan Reynolds was perfect as Hal Jordan, and everyone else was fine also.

Special Effects were top-notch.

The film still made an impressive $116 million domestically, which shows that many people ignored the ignorant critics.

Parallax was a superb creation.

I intend to see this film many more times in the future.

The Fifth Element (1997)

What A Mess!--Spoilers

[5/10 · 1 January 2015]

I am a huge Sci-Fi fan, and can hardly think of a Sci-Fi film I didn't like(except for Phantom Menace and Battlefield Earth lol). However, I must add this one to the junk pile.

First, the good parts: The Beginning and the End

: Ian Holm

: Bruce Willis

This movie, meant to be a parody, still fails--There are so many ugly repellent characters: Chris Tucker(horrendous), the blue woman singer, "Tiny" Lister as the President!, Mila(with her stupid orange hair and dumb unknown language), the bad aliens(gross)the well known actor who gets blown up trying to retrieve the stones.

If you rent this on DVD, you'll find yourself fast-forwarding so much, your fingers will ache

Iron Man 2 (2010)

A Waste Of Time--spoilers

[3/10 · 1 January 2015]

First of All, I am a huge fan of the first Ironman--The FIRST Ironman had a great plot, excellent acting(especially the guy who gives his life to save Tony in the cave) and great special effects.

But this film opens to an interminably boring scene of Tony making a big speech, and then goes downhill from there. The biggest problem was replacing a nice-looking black actor,Terence Howard, with an UGLY black actor,Don Cheadle--Cheadle looks like a monkey inside that Ironman suit, very distracting.

Speaking of ugly, Mickey Rourke, with his all-too-real destroyed face, makes an excellent villain(what else COULD he be?)--The scene at the racetrack was unexpected and really well done.

Call Me Bwana (1963)

Very Funny--spoilers

[7/10 · 26 December 2014]

One of Bob Hope's best--When he must become a member of the Tribe, it'll remind you a little bit of JOE VS THE VOLCANO--The chief was hilarious here, and Anita Ekberg, with the killer body and too much makeup, is a joy to watch also--Although its obvious that this was not actually filmed in Africa, it still has some stock footage of some African scenery.

Unlike Bob's EIGHT ON THE LAM(a disaster), this film is fun and funny--A bit slow in parts, but if you're a Bob Hope fan, you'll like it.

Another funny film of his is BOY DID I GET A WRONG NUMBER(1966) with Phyllis Diller, and THE PRIVATE NAVY OF SARGENT O'FARRELL

Pompeii (I) (2014)

Watch the last hour only--spoilers

[4/10 · 24 December 2014]

This movie reminds me of TITANIC--Really boring the first part, then nice special effects last part--However, unlike TITANIC, this movie BOMBED at the box office.

I believe the chief problem here was casting Kiefer Sutherland as the cruel Emperor--Whoever cast him is an idiot--He has no presence here, there are dozens of better actors who could have played the part, especially British Actors. Everyone else was fine.

The other REALLY stupid part was having the young lovers die at the end! It makes no sense, here they are making a Spectacular escape, going thru hell and high water, only to be turned into pumice?? lol pointless!

The special effects were terrific, even though we all know that in reality it was just ash(50 feet of it!) and pyroclastic flows--The real Tsunami was only a minor event.

Titanic (1997)

This was a long long movie--Spoiler Alert

[3/10 · 22 December 2014]

OK, the last hour was great, technically speaking--The people running up and down the ship, the lifeboats, the ship cracking up, and when one of the huge smokestacks falls onto the passengers in the water, the visual and sound effects were incredible--That is the best scene in the film, and one of the best scenes in movie history.

BUT, the miscasting of Leonardo was a huge mistake--Leonardo looks like a schoolboy, and a funny-looking one at that, with his beady little eyes--There is nothing remotely "manly" or "heroic" about this little twerp. Everyone else in the film was fine, especially all the British Actors.

Until the iceberg actually hits, you will be bored out of your mind, despite the impressive recreation of the boat's interior and clothes of the cast.

Please watch A NIGHT TO REMEMBER(1958) instead.

Elysium (I) (2013)

A waste of time and money

[4/10 · 28 August 2014]

First of All, Elysium itself looks great-- A giant space station full of mansions and pools,like Palm Beach and Beverly Hills--and that CGI effect is the only good thing about this boring film-- So in the future,there are only Spanish people? and only the whites live in Elysium? anybody see any blacks or Orientals? anywhere? and this film anyway was way too violent and depressing as well as being dull--and the bad guy has almost no head, and HE gets repaired, yet the hero Matt Damon can't get cured of radiation poisoning? and Jodie Foster has some dumb accent--Matt Damon does a good job acting but the film is just way too depressing--Better to see Oblivion or Pacific Rim

Vamps (2012)

why was this film released? some spoilers here

[1/10 · 5 August 2014]

considering the cast here, this film had some promise. BUT NO--everyone in this awful mess of a film fails miserably, with the possible exception of wallace shawn, who is always amusing--Richard Lewis has never looked worse--the writing in this film is so banal, unfunny, and so pointless that it defies description-- each scene makes less sense than the one before it,so disjointed that my mouth was agape in astonishment--the soundtrack is ...really bad lol Alicia has aged and doesn't fit in well here, and Sigourney Weaver,committing a bloody massacre, and why? and then some xray vision comes out of her eyes,why? Malcom McDowell is so old that its distracting and....well why go on? Stay away from this film unless you are desperate and drunk

The Visitor (1979)

has its moments--some spoilers

[10/10 · 28 July 2014]

Only John Huston and Glenn Ford add any class to this minor film--The beginning scene was rather effective, but the film is wildly uneven after that--The young girl is sufficiently creepy, but what really hurts this film is the cheap early 1960's lounge music--I would also fast forward the Franco Nero scene(as a blonde-wigged Jesus)--I have to admit that I did like seeing Lance Henriksen get his near the end--I'm not sure why some of these veterean actors got roped into this, but I guess everybody needs a paycheck--Mel Ferrer is effective also but his scenes could be fast-forwarded also--All in all, the film is of minor interest as an example of 1970's cheap film-making lol