KingOfHungary Reviews

Beginning (2020)

Awful, amateur production.

[1/10 · 25 September 2020]

This film is an entire waste of time, thanks to a combination of bad camera work, lack of context, and a barely there storyline that is stretched to the extreme. First, the camera. Nearly the entire film has out of focus areas on the screen. Oftentimes one specific part of the screen is in focus and everything else is mildly blurry, and you have to look for the clear area. You think you're losing your vision and keep rubbing your eyes and blinking. Next, the music. Or more accurately, the complete lack of any background music/score/ambient soundtrack. The acting by the lady is fine, I guess, but everyone is so minimal. It tries to be every day realistic in performances, but it strips away nearly all in its minimalism so much that there is barely context anymore. Shots with minimalism drag on endlessly too. It looks like the director thought of cool framed shots, but didn't build anything around it. Scenes which are actually several minutes long of literally no change or movement, a still shot. The story barely lurches forwards, with a vague sense of even having a story that continues at all. Just scenes with nonsensical happenings that sometimes references the previous scenes. The final act is bordering on absurd, coupled with a lack of context. Just make up your own. I regret having watched this attempt at a movie.

Under the Open Sky (2020)

Weak story, blunt segments that increase in melodrama.

[3/10 · 20 September 2020]

I would rate it 3.5 and I rounded down. The main actor is great in his role, but the story is not only basic, nearly every scene is less a flowing part of the story, and more a blunt storytelling block. This in part is the reason why the forced melodrama doesn't work, and you don't feel any emotions in the dramatic scenes, because it's so blandly and sparsely built up. It's unfortunate that the scenes end up as building blocks to the ridiculously overdone finale. If they remade it with a competent writer/director, this would be a great film, because the cast/scenery/cinematography/music is fine, it's that the story is both not good, and to compound it, the way that is told is also not good.

Pieces of a Woman (2020)

Good film reaching but failing to be Great

[6/10 · 13 September 2020]

It's a well acted tragic story that starts off excellently, but falls apart bit by bit the longer it goes until it ends on a whimper, as if the story got tired. Vanessa Kirby is equal parts excellent, and yet underacted in a sort of apathetic manner, where it began to hurt the story itself because her behavior was not shown to have anything underlying it, but her surface level was her entire level. Shia was excellent, as was the Mother. The film is very much in the style of Hungarian films, as the director is, and I say this in the way that this film could and would have been shot as a Hungarian film and played out exactly the same, if it had not been North American. In fact, it feels like an American adaptation of an existing Hungarian film, but this is it. The tone of the film jerks around somewhat, going with hard, every day realism, with odd smatterings of symbolism that just don't mesh well and come up like worn down speed humps on your drive, so instead of you getting seamless symbolism, they are stark and you are slapped aware of them when they show up. The dialogue is very good and realistic, except for a few instances where they get speechy and you start to fall out of the immersion because of it. The cinematography is very great, and the music works well. I think with some tweaks this could have been a great, even excellent movie, but what we got is a hampered result.

Choke (2020)

Embarrassing to watch through.

[1/10 · 4 July 2020]

This is a terrible, and terribly boring attempt at a movie. Awful amateur acting, with, rambling, irritating voiceovers monologuing with grating voices and garbage dialogue. Nearly incomprehensible story of an autistic adult who meets a 17 year old girl who is a prostitute too, maybe. Maybe, because the story jumps around between showing montages of mindless and boring couples date activities, and people being choked to death. Nothing is rooted in concrete reality, so the movie ends up being like an abstract perfume commercial, where it's just montages of people doing things, with little actual connection. Later on in the film some rogue border agent and a haggard old lady shows up and they choke each other, where the old lady overacts like no tomorrow, while the agent has dead fish eyes. Just a trainwreck from top to bottom, cinematography, dialogue, acting, story, everything is amateur hour.

Wrinkles the Clown (2019)

Painful to watch in how dull, empty, and nothing it is.

[1/10 · 31 May 2020]

This is not a documentary, horror, OR comedy. None are contained. This is nothing more than a random series of "interview" footage of mostly children talking about some clown who supposedly parents call to scare their children with. But this entire video has no purpose, no structure, no narrative. It is blatantly pointless. Every minute of this feels like an hour.

I Trapped the Devil (2019)

Excruciatingly slow and pointless

[1/10 · 18 May 2020]

This starts nowhere and goes nowhere. The entire film hinges on the people in the movie willfully not saying or explaining anything, just being frustrated at each other while giving ridiculously contextless arguments. The 5 minute long story slogs through to nearly an hour and a half, with no extra story added to this razor thin plot. Bad acting, zero production budget, and the story makes no sense from any perspective. Why, or what is happening, is all meaningless.

Trick (II) (2019)

Incomprehensible, amateurish, & unintentionally funny.

[1/10 · 18 May 2020]

This movie makes little sense and it comes off as if it were a sequel, where for unknown reasons the bit and background characters are referred to as if we should care, and has a lot of odd references and what seems like inside jokes, none of which makes sense and there is no reason given to care or understand any of it. The dialogue is bad and the characters barely react as if they understand what is said, the acting is over the top and everyone behaves out of place and unrealistic, the story jumps in and out of coherency, the effects, violence, and gore are outright amateurish. The whole movie feels like it was intended as a joke, like a satire or parody, but it takes itself too straightly serious, so it's just obnoxious and off putting.

In Fabric (2018)

Creatively devoid "art" attempt.

[1/10 · 15 May 2020]

This film is if you gave artificial intelligence the task to make an art horror film. You get an overabundance of artistic visuals, quirk, absurd imagery, off the wall behavior, gaudy appearances, cheap effects, with no heart, or sense. I would call it more obnoxious and self obsessed than pretentious, though. Maybe it's a very discreet satire. Nonsensical, absurd story, with terrible special effects, it's like a 1970's Italian horror film, except it's nearly 2020's, and you can't just go and manufacture something like that, because it comes out like this; a cheap, obvious ripoff. It's an hour too long for what it should be, but in the end, what it should be, is not exist.

The Wretched (2019)

A cliché horror with charismatic cast

[4/10 · 15 May 2020]

This would be a solid horror film of which every part of you have seen already several times, there is nothing unique to be found here, that is marred by a terrible case of characters stopping their conversations immediately, so the plot can continue as it does. It is cheap and completely unrealistic, where obvious and blatant followups should be happening for characters saying statements, followups which would halt the movie's story. But instead, we have abrupt, nonsensical ends to people talking and onto the next scene, which should be a different outcome scene, if they had logically said anything. Otherwise, the cast is great, they have charisma and screen presence, it's a fun horror that will leave you disappointed because it feels and looks good, but it's very half baked, it's the curse of the same people writing AND directing, no different set of eyes on the project. The music is mostly distracting, as it's mildly off and too present in scenes, as if someone suddenly turned a CD on in the scene. It's worth a watch, but frustrating in the end for the missed marks.

No Escape Room (2018 TV Movie)

Incomprehensible story.

[1/10 · 9 May 2020]

This is a "Made for TV" Movie. The acting is decent at best, mostly slightly bad. One of the characters is severely miscast, putting in this buff bodybuilder jock guy, who's the mysterious smart person, and he just takes you out of every scene he's in. The story itself is outright, and absurdly nonsensical, minute by minute illogical and broadly random things are happening, it's like they hired a new person for every page of the script and then tried to weave it together. Not even the most extreme suspension of disbelief in fantasy and horror will stop you from thinking "wait, that doesn't make sense" the whole way through.

Clown Nightmare (2019)

The worst improv internet sketch.

[1/10 · 8 May 2020]

This is not an actual movie, it's some odd spontaneously shot and improvised "acting", where there seems to be a significant amount of random B roll footage put in there, where the actors are standing around waiting for their cues. These are not actual actors, and they have zero acting ability. It's just deadpanning scenes where they improv lines, or just stand in place silently. The camera placement is completely random. There is some atrocious attempt at CGI which is more like filters on a phone app. The scenes roughly and constantly cut between takes and the people onscreen have different and unrelated facial expressions. Half the time the people onscreen forgot what they're supposed to be doing in the scenes, they're confused, nearly laughing, looking at the camera expectantly, ad-libbing most lines. The story doesn't even make any sense, it's just scenes spliced together with no regard for continuity. This is a joke and anyone who sees is the butt of it.

One Must Fall (2018)

Cheap & Bad "Campy" Comedy Horror

[2/10 · 7 May 2020]

Review is 2.5, graded downwards. This one is made to be like a very camp 1970-80's camp horror that's very heavy on comedy, unfortunately it is destroyed by a combination of bad acting, terrible dialogue, and really cheap set design. The look and feel of it being a 70-80s film is very forced and fabricated, they could only throw a bunch of vintage props around and put synthesizer music, but it's very transparent and blasé. The dialogue is on the nose and a lot of it is stated clearly to set up later parts, because they couldn't organically work it into the story, people are just stating foreshadows that will later continue the story. Most of the comedy falls flat because it's so hammy and over the top, but it's mildly humorous at parts, perhaps not completely intentionally. The characters behaviors come off particularly bizarre as well, lending another layer of nonsensicality, even though it's supposed to be campy, this one goes in a wrong and awful direction with it.

Crypsis (I) (2019)

A rough draft of an idea of a terrible film.

[1/10 · 5 May 2020]

This is an abomination. You know a movie is going to be bad when it starts off with the credits of cast and crew in basic font with no sound. This one is about a group of insufferable, irritating pack of morons acting like children, go to camp on a tiny island for a night, and the entire film them running around in the dark in the woods, and making snide, annoying, nonsensical, obnoxious comments to each other. Lowlight goes to the pudgy asian dude, who spends the entire time not understanding a single thing, and making braindead comments to everything anyone says, while everyone tells him to shut up after every comment, deservedly. There is no acting, there is no cinematography, there is no point to this. This movie should never have seen the light of day. Honestly atrocious.

Ring Ring (I) (2019)

65% Comedy 34% Thriller 1% Horror

[1/10 · 4 May 2020]

At a lot of places this will also be listed under the category of Horror. This is incorrect, so don't go into this expecting any semblance of a horror movie. It's a jokey, overacted terrible story, where everyone is either a drug abuser, a criminal, or an idiot. The plot is razorthin, the characters unlikable, and the scenes just meander through the paces with overacting performances filling up the time.

Polaroid (I) (2019)

Clichéd and low budget, but solid attempt

[4/10 · 3 May 2020]

It's a standard horror film, where high schoolers are played by actors and actresses nearing 30, where it's funnier when you see them around the extras classmates who are actually more the right age, so they stick out as being older that much more. The first half of the film is bad, the second half is great, except for the awful and cheap looking creature. That's one of the worst aspects of the film. The story is fine, and there are some very nice twists and turns in it. And it's the best kind of horror, where the story is solid. It has a beginning, middle, and end, and has a concrete context for it happening and existing. No hazy plots and questionable endings.

Head Count (2018)

Interesting and creepy that falls apart for the end completely.

[3/10 · 3 May 2020]

A very interesting take, with legitimately creepy undertones, where the killer is disguised as one of the people in the group intermittently, which when you think about a concept like that, and how it is shown in the movie, gives a chilling feeling. On one hand, you could say that some of the actors are hamming it, but they're portraying college kids, the performances are plausible. Otherwise the acting is fine, the setting is fine. The story works well, up to a very interesting and breathtaking scene where they go back into the house and they find sources of suicidal applications, but this is where the story just derails and falls apart to a frustratingly bad final act. Half the people simply disappear at that point, completely. In a terrible, terrible decision, they decide to actually show the creature in its natural form, and it looks terribly cheap, embarrassing. Then, the movie goes to the end where the rest of the characters simply die off in a rapid fashion, with zero fightback, zero countering, zero attempt at stopping, slowing, or defeating the adversary. This was the key problem that the film has, there is no context to why this is happening, how it could be conceivably ended, how it might be countered, anything of that nature. It just happens, and it's frustrating to have something this interesting just have it appear, kill everyone, and that's that. The very end makes zero sense as well. Why and how is it still there once it killed everyone? What is its purpose going to be? Nobody said his name five times anymore, so it's just going to pretend to be someone else for no reason, and stop killing, because again, he wasn't summoned by anyone alive. And if he is, he is going to what, appear where he was summoned, and disappear from where he is currently living a normal life as the person he is disguised at? It's inexplicably stupid, and was completely unnecessary.

Pledge (2018)

Watching this movie is hazing.

[1/10 · 3 May 2020]

An awful, predictable, terribly acted, cheap movie. You've seen this movie before, but with better everything. There is nothing worth watching in this one.

The Platform (2019)

Sociopolitical commentary they sparsely built a movie around.

[2/10 · 26 April 2020]

This movie comes off that they had a social commentary statement to make, and decided to throw a shallow sci fi theme around it. It's not an even handed one either, where it explores several avenues. But the whole thing is blatant with its statement, right to the ending, which isn't confusing at all if you already understand that this wasn't as much a movie, as telling you its commentary on society. It starts off interesting but the hammer of blatant statement making starts banging on your face and a few times you get a glimpse of an interesting turn, but very quickly it's back to the hammer. There are quite a few glaring plot holes, mostly in regards to logic, consistency, or realism, but considering the fantastical story is a front to the message anyways, it's not really important for that purpose. If you view it not as a film, but as an artistic political video, then it works better.

Defective (2017)

An unintended satire that's humorous.

[1/10 · 26 April 2020]

It's so terrible that it becomes funny after a bit, but if they marketed it as a satire, it would have fared better. It's the most basic and overdone sci fi story. "Turn this version of yourself off for a second" is a throwaway line in the movie, as is 100% of the dialogue, but it works well in regards to everyone's performances. The office (lead) girl for some reason acts like she got an orgasm twice in the film, in what I assume to be a dramatic reaction to things but it comes out so out of place. There are many "highlights" in this film, from the awful dialogue, to the awful loud robot sounds that the robots make, and that they are wearing armor that protects the same as cotton, but the outright best part of the film is a long action fight scene inside a storage facility. It is absurdly stupidly done, but it's hilarious. I was laughing out loud at how nonsensical, badly choreographed, and incomprehensible it was. There is another hilarious action scene in a hallway, with cent store (not even dollar store) John Wick guy.

Every character is awful in a nickel and dime store fashion, and for some unknown reason, they cast 2 very, very similar looking women in roles where even if they're in the same room, you have to strain to remember which is which. Props to super cheap knockoff Chris Pratt for yelling without impact, and for the irony of him being an edgy against the system badass kind of guy, who refers to himself as "Gamechanger, Rulebreaker", being disgruntled for having to stand in line too long at a fancy coffee shop. The lead guy, who thinks he's John Wick, is on near current day Steven Seagal level of crappy badassery, and moves with about the same flexibility and the same cutaway action scenes.

If this story was made in 1990 it would be outdated. The science fiction aspect is so much behind the time it's ridiculous. When suspects are wanted, the TVs, Cellphones, tablets and all devices simply shows an image of the mugshot of the suspect and writes out SUSPECT WANTED, no other information? Come on.

If you look at it like a straight sci fi movie, it's embarrassing. If you look at it like a cheap satire, then it's embarrassing, but at least you're laughing at it instead of having being frustrated.

Red Spring (2017)

Boring and shallow no budget movie with soap opera acting.

[1/10 · 25 April 2020]

If you're going to do a no budget horror film, at least have some kind of catch, gimmick, gore, camp, quirk, or something interesting to it. This movie has none. It's a straight acted soap opera level movie, with banal, uninteresting, and awful dialogue. The lead actor is more of an AI robot than a person, but it's explained how such an emotionless, void of charisma actor was chosen for the role, because he is also the writer, director, producer, editor, and visual effects person. The lead actress tries, but she's saddled as being the sassy, sarcastic, bullheaded girl. It has an awfully forced romantic angle that has zero credibility, while the story has crater like plot holes. The antagonists are vampires, but they behave more like zombies, and they're explained as if they should be deaf and blind, which they're not. The context of everything is nonsensical and changing. And the amateurish goofs are a bucket full. From driving vans in the parking position, to locks that don't connect to anything, disappearing corpses and objects, weird green screen and bad CGI, it's all an attempt that should have not seen the light of day, and keep it where the vampires are.

3 from Hell (2019)

A reprehensible new low in trashy horror.

[1/10 · 23 April 2020]

This is a Rob Zombie movie. If you like his work, you will like this, it's the exact same thing as his other movies. If you don't, you will hate it as the rest. If you don't know his movies, they are low grade exploitation movies with an overabundance of gore, and each and every one of the characters in his movies range between incomprehensibly stupid to pure evil, there aren't even remotely decent characters, they're all bad. This is yet another movie where there is zero range in the story. It is evil people doing evil things, from the start to the finish. No rebuttal, no plot points, no evolution, no real adversity, no variety, zero drama, tension, anything to care about in the least. It's psychopathic filmmaking. Yet again the tone of the film is not that these are evil people, but that they are shown that as they are evil by nature, they're not evil, because they can't help it. It's a group of sociopathic mass murderers, mass murdering, and all their victims are zero sided, and some of them are just braindead, never do you care about any of the murders. It's a reprehensible style of storytelling. Beyond the awful story and awful characters, it's the same Rob Zombie staple of starring his real life wife, and his friends, with atrociously bad and terrible dialogue, with several conversations which barely make any sense. The visual style has frequent freeze frames, picture slides, slow motion, grainy shots, old TV shots, all without rhyme or reason.

Bliss (I) (2019)

Quite unique, but outright bad.

[2/10 · 22 April 2020]

It has copious amounts of blood, guts, and gore, so for a horror this delivers somewhat, but when half the movie is just taking drugs and getting wasted, where a good portion of the film seems to be just filming a drug party, and the story crawls at a slow pace until it jumps towards the end. Each and every character is straight up unlikable, bad, and foolish. The lead actress is just a hateful, self absorbed, selfish character who uses and abuses everyone around her and walks around like the center of the earth. There isn't a shred of empathy to be felt as they curse through the runtime, drinking, drugging, and having sex. The worst offender is the lead actress, who flatly and unfeelingly uses profanity with zero impact or effect, she's just squeezing profanity in between every other word she says, and the way she does it gets grating really fast. There are very nice, colorful visuals, the lighting is great, decent cinematography, and it comes off as a unique film, but the story is shallow, disjointed in a way that there isn't a real threat or point or drama at all in what's happening, and would have worked much better as a shorter film, as part of an anthology, instead of stretching this story out as you're nearly laughing in frustration at what's happening and why. It's an unemotional ride.

The Shed (I) (2019)

No budget borefest.

[1/10 · 20 April 2020]

Cheap acting, cheap sets, bad story, bad acting. This is not worth the time to watch. It's a really boring horror movie about a teenager who is bullied at school and by his grandfather and he's emo about it, while a creature is in their shed and he's emo about life while everyone gives a terrible performance. The only thing unsettling and scary is this teenage boy's hair gets greasier and greasier as the film goes on because he never showers for some reason and his hair looks disgusting already well before the halfway point.

Boarding School (2018)

It's so ridiculous and bad, it's worth watching!

[1/10 · 20 April 2020]

This is quite an off the wall, oddity of a movie, that jumps all over the place storyline and tone wise, with terrible gimmicky cliche characters, doubly made weird by bad performances. It's a group of children that consists of a crossdressing boy, a sociopathic girl, a boy with (badly acted) tourettes, a really fat boy who is claimed to not be able to speak, but does a few times and nobody cares, and a set of twin boys who serve zero purpose in the film, forced to be in a retreat with some religious teacher. You get overacting performances, scenes that feel mildly wrong to be watching, scenes that force drama without feeling, plot points that render previous scenes nonsensical, oddly placed music, really bad camera cutaways due to lack of practical effects, it's just such a badly made film that it's enjoyable to watch through and laugh at the absurdity.

Dead Rush (2016)

Cheap Non-Interactive videogame cutscene

[2/10 · 20 April 2020]

---MOTION SICKNESS WARNING: This film is shown as First Person camera angle--- Despite only being 73 minutes long (without the credits), the entire film drags minute by minute at a tepid, bland, boring pace. It's like a bad videogame cutscene where you could choose to do actions at certain parts, but you don't get to play. The acting is decent but the story comes off like it should be a less than 10 minute short. The sloth speed at which the few plot points show up makes watching this one a chore. The film here has the categories as Horror, Comedy, and Action, but there is literally no Comedy in this film. I am not knocking it as if the comedy is bad, it actually has no comedy/humor/lighthearted parts in it, intended or not. I don't know why it lists it as a category. An unintended stupid part in it is that the film is in David's eyes point of view as the camera angle, and even though he is an entire foot taller than his wife, she is looking at a straight angle into the camera, as if he is as short as she is and they're the same height.