tim-783 Reviews

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: A Quality of Mercy (2022) Season 1, Episode 10

We have a problem

[7/10 · 9 July 2022]

The central tenet of this episode is that by avoiding "the accident" Pike will still be in command of the Enterprise when it has its first encounter with the Romulans. As many have said, this encounter happened in the 14th episode of Star Trek in 1966 - "Balance of Terror."

Here is the problem: It is made clear in the 11th episode of Star Trek - "The Menagerie pt1" that Pikes accident happens AFTER he transfers command of the Enterprise to Kirk.

Pikes accident is irrelevant to the events in "Balance of Terror". James T. Kirk will still be Captain of the Enterprise.

One more thing: I re-watched "Balance of Terror" after watching "A Quality of Mercy". "Balance of Terror" is much better TV.

Last Train to Christmas (2021)

Rod Serling meets Charles Dickens

[8/10 · 22 December 2021]

"Last Train to Christmas" is not a conventional Christmas movie. It's more like Scrooge meets the Twilight Zone. It forces its central character (Sheen) to confront the consequences of his life choices with a level of horror not seen since Alastair Sim threw himself, prostrate, on his own grave, in 1951's "Christmas Carol," begging death for another chance.

In addition to Sheen's great performance the movie tours us through several decades of hair, fashion, hand held electronics and the decor of British Rail.

Star Trek: Discovery (2017–2024)

Time to end this

[3/10 · 5 December 2021]

"Star Trek: Discovery" has been trading on Star Trek's good name for four series. Enough. Put an end to it.

There have been huge problems all along.

In the first season we were subjected to lengthy Klingon dramas. The Klingons looked different - for no apparent reason - and the dramas were delivered in Klingon, with subtitles, because we wouldn't want to offend any Klingons by not respecting their language. Klingons were dropped. Rightly so.

The series was placed in time just before the original Kirk/Spock series. 5 minutes of thinking would have revealed the problem here: in several areas tech in 2021 is more advanced than the tech Spock and Kirk played with. Cell phones a far more capable than communicators. Touch screens have done away with the need of rows and rows of mechanical buttons. Eventually, the producers figured this out and moved "Discovery" to the 32nd century.

In "Star Trek the Next Generation" we were introduced to Reginald Barclay, a man with problems, whose superior intellect enabled him to contribute despite his issues. Now, "Discovery" has an entire ship of Barclays - including the captain!

The current season is full of squishy emotions. In episode 2 of series 4 (Anomaly) the following characters had emotional scenes: Burnham, Stamets, Tilly, Adira, and Booker. The only two major characters that remain grounded are Saru and Dr. Culber.

"The First," "Away," and "Defying Gravity" are all TV sci-fi series. The have two things in common. Each series delved heavily into the emotions and personal lives of the characters while rolling out the actual sci-fi drama at a leisurely pace. Secondly, each series was canceled quickly, lasting 8, 10 and 13 episodes respectively. If "Discovery" was not wearing the mantle of Star Trek the plug would have been pulled long ago.

When it comes to sci-fi TV it has to be about the sci-fi. If you want the other, watch "Grey's Anatomy" as it does a much better job.

Then there is the character of Michael Burnham. Leaving aside the fact that Spock had an adopted human sister - something not mentioned in the first 50 years of Star Trek - Michael was raised Vulcan. Any semblance of her Vulcan upbringing is now completely gone as she stumbles and blubbers from scene to scene at a rate that would have embarrassed even James T. Kirk. This leaves Burnham unbelievable as Captain and unlikeable as a character. Likability of the captain has been key to every Star Trek series - even the less important/central Ben Sisko of "Deep Space Nine."

One last shot. The opening credits of "Discovery,", which are a dull as dirt, last 90 seconds. The original "Star Trek's" opening titles, with the immortal, "These are the voyages..." were 60 seconds long.

Do yourself a favour. Instead of watching the continuing calamity that is "Discovery," re-Discover a sci-fi/fantasy series, that in addition to being great, fanciful, and humorous, had opening credits were a breathtaking 11 seconds in length, "Warehouse 13."

5 More Sleeps 'til Christmas (2021 TV Special)

Too much Fallon

[4/10 · 29 November 2021]

I was tempted to give this family Christmas short a succinct review - meh. But I'll be specific: there's too much Jimmy Fallon. Apparently, the expression "a picture is worth a thousand words" is lost on the producers of "5 More Sleeps til' Christmas." Because, if it meant anything at all there would be a lot less narration. While the visuals ARE quite good, the narrator - Fallon - insists on describing everything happening before our eyes. Why bother with the pictures at all? Pure Cinema is an expression used to describe films that tell their story entirely with visuals. What is the opposite of Pure Cinema? "5 More Sleeps til' Christmas."

Compare the emotional impact of "5 More Sleeps til' Christmas" with its dazzling graphics and oppressive narration to the under animated, slow-paced, and narrator-less "A Charlie Brown Christmas."

One final bone to pick. With two days left until Christmas, our young hero greets a sun-drenched morning by throwing open his bedroom window and proclaiming to his dog, "Look Garry, is snowing!" An unhappy neighbor yells, "It's 5 AM!" Where in the northern hemisphere is it daylight on December 23 at 5 AM or 6 AM or 7 AM or 8 AM? Wouldn't the joke be finnier if it was pitch black?

If you are looking for kid-friendly snowy animated entertainment check out "Snowtime!" and "Racetime."

Teslafy Me (2019)

Fuzzy facts

[3/10 · 21 May 2021]

First, let me say, I'm a Tesla fan. He got the short shrift from history - until recently. A correction IS due. This film's enthusiasm for the man is over the top and relentless. A few minutes in I began to believe the sun would not be rising if not for Nikola Tesla. About halfway in I heard a statement that stopped me cold. The narrator said in 1883, "Tesla made Chicago the first city with electric lighting, launching the industrial revolution."

The second part of this statement could be a translation error. Maybe the author intended to say "electric/electrical revolution" as the industrial revolution began 150 years earlier. The first part, about Chicago becoming the first city with electric light, is just wrong. My knowledge of history is not perfect, so I did a search. Wabash (1880) and Cleveland (1879) are mentioned although neither used light bulbs.

Then there is this from a site called The History Rat, "By 1882, Thomas Edison began using DC (direct current) to power a street in New York. Electric street cars also began to appear around the country. But, in 1883, Nikola Tesla built his first transformer that turns AC (alternating current) from low voltage to high voltage..."

So, the statement about Chicago should have been read, "Chicago became the first city to be lit by incandescent bulbs, powered by an AC generator". Not the same thing as first city with electric lights.

I stopped watching "Teslafy Me" at that point. Who knows what other truths will be tossed aside in the filmmaker's enthusiasm for Tesla.

A documentary that plays so loose with history is of no value to anyone.

Noel (2004)

So much better than Hallmark fare

[8/10 · 27 December 2020]

The problem with most movie versions of "A Christmas Carol" is in the portrayal of Ebenezer Scrooge. For the end of the film to be joyous, Scrooge has to be a miserable SOB up until then. He needs to be nasty, miserly and a general stain on the human race. For my money, Alistair Sim and Bill Murray get it right. All other come up short. You are probably asking at this point, "what has this to do with Noel?" This is my point: there are about a a half dozen characters at the centre of "Noel." They are struggling with signifigant personal problems. And every single one is more unhappy than the bleakest character on ANY Hallmark/Lifetime effort. They are real people in the big city at Xmas. They all find a degree of happiness in the end, made more satisfying by where each started from. See how that circles back to Scrooge? Some of "Noel" is painful to watch. It's all good.

Banacek: To Steal a King (1972) Season 1, Episode 5

They didn't have rewind in 1972

[7/10 · 25 August 2020]

In the opening scene Kevin McCarthy, carrying very valuable coins, and entourage are escorted into a hotel suite. The plots hangs on the fact that know one notices they are on the wrong floor. The entire group includes the assistant manager (bad guy), the manager, two bell boys AND a cop who is waiting for them IN the suite. All managed to get off on the wrong floor.

Now, in 1972, nobody had the ability to check the arrival scene after Banacek reveals all at the end. Now.... Clearly writing a clever mystery in the 21st century requires more discipline.

Riddled with Deceit: A Martha's Vineyard Mystery (2020 TV Movie)

Hallmark needs to raise its standards

[3/10 · 18 March 2020]

OK, I get the bar is pretty low for Hallmark mysteries. But, the plots have to be get better than this.

A priceless brooch is put on display for one week before being sent to the Smithsonian. Its owner is attacked and sent to the hospital in a failed attempt to steal the brooch.

In order to keep the owner safe from additional harm a friend fakes an elaborate robbery of the brooch. Why not just take the brooch to the Smithsonian a few days early? Problem solved. Apparently, a fake robbery was the best option.

Then, the fake robber is murdered. He leaves behind a cryptic note - obviously a clue to the brooch's location. Why the note? Was he expecting to be murdered? And why do our sleuths ignore the note for most of the movie?

As for our hero being "the best detective in Boston" he does very little detecting. He goes to point "A" and get a speck of information and then runs to point "B." At point "B" is gets a call that has him scurrying to point "C" and so on. It's completely reactive.

With all the money from those $5 Hallmark birthday cards they need to put on a better show.

Picture Perfect Mysteries: Picture Perfect Mysteries: Newlywed and Dead (2019) Season 1, Episode 1

Weak

[3/10 · 17 June 2019]

The latest in Hallmark's series of "female non-detective annoys real detective but ends up solving the murder" movies. In this one, a groom is shot dead at his wedding during the couple's first dance - when everyone who has a smartphone is taking pictures. It does not occur to anyone (until the end of the movie) to use these photos to figure out who was standing near the place where the shot came from.

I thought of Monk, or any actual detective - surely their head would have exploded. The bar is pretty low for Hallmark's cozy murder mysteries. Can we at least make an effort? One more thing I forgot to mention - the "female non-detective" is the wedding photographer.

Christmas at Pemberley Manor (2018 TV Movie)

Runt of the litter

[1/10 · 30 October 2018]

Hallmark commissioned 22 new Christmas movies for 2018. This was the first to air - a full two months before Xmas. I'm guessing it was shown first because - after viewing it - the powers that be saw this as a very weak effort.

I'm troubled by what passes for a Christmas movie these days. The bar is so low. Apparently, all you need is some attractive actors, a Christmas tree and a happy ending and your OK. The modern Christmas movie is like porn for the sentimental.

I'll just address two ways "Christmas at Pemberley Manor" fails.

The movie is about a Christmas festival in a small town. It's a big deal - the whole town comes. There are a few scenes when everyone at the festival gathers round for a song or a reading of a poem. The camera pans over the massive crowd - of about 20. It is difficult to believe that Christmas has been saved for an entire town when 20 show up. I guess the budget could afford no more. Just sad production.

A more fundamental failure is the writing. We meet the protagonists early on. He is a handsome billionaire workaholic who has returned to the home of his childhood Christmases, to spend the holidays alone. She is the perky event planner in charge of the Christmas festival. Now, anyone who has seen more than two Christmas movies knows they are going to be in love by the time it ends. Romantic comedies (and their Christmas variant) have this in common. We all know where we are going to end up. The task for all involved is to make the journey interesting.

What is required to make the story funny, memorable or even watchable are some obstacles in the road, on the way to getting to the end. The obstacles to the inevitable romantic ending in "Christmas at Pemberley Manor" are so slight as to be absent. They are like 20-year-old speed bumps in a parking lot - you no longer even notice they are there.

Every story requires, in some manner, the resolution of conflict. Effectively, "Christmas at Pemberley Manor" has no conflict. Atrocious writing.

All of the ingredients were available to make "Christmas at Pemberley Manor" a decent effort. The finished work says nobody really tried.

Victoria (2016–2019)

Was not the life of Victoria compelling enough?

[5/10 · 10 November 2016]

Such a disappointment. Beautifully shot and acted - but the scripts? Teenage angst? Mommy and daddy issues? Nobody understands me? Whiney, catty relatives? Was not the life of Victoria compelling enough?

I like Jenna Coleman. She's the reason I bothered. She is playing a woman for whom an age is named. But the individual scripts would not make the cut of Downton Abbey.

And then there is historical accuracy.

In order to gin up some drama they create an entirely fictional love story between Victoria and Lord Melbourne, a man who in fact was 40 years older than the young queen. (The age difference between the actors is 20 years.) The casting of Rufus Sewell is a big part of this canard. The bogus love story is at the heart of the first four episodes. I am troubled by TV/films that take largely historically accurate stories and throw in nonsense. Is not the life of Victoria compelling enough? Maybe the fact that you could walk away believing there was a "thing" between these two historical figures does not trouble the authors. It should.

To make my point, about two other people from roughly the same period: does it matter that we try to get the relationship between Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings right?

At one point, Lord Melbourne tells Victoria that he is thinking of retiring. Its his way of saying, "I'm too old for you." She tells him something like, "You're not old." At 60 he had exceeded life expectancy for men of the period by almost 15 years. Not only his he too old for a teenager, he is lucky to be alive.