phojar Reviews

Soft & Quiet (2022)

Unbelievable storyline and characters

[1/10 · 8 August 2023]

There are two major things to review for this movie - the actual movie and the style of "real time"

For the real time storyline I found it somewhat neat but uninteresting. I highly doubt in reality this whole thing would have played out that quickly. No way. I feel like this was a tatic just to be able to say they did it.

For the movie itself - the story quickly reveals the main character as a racist and the lengths they go to in order to display their racism is wildly unbelievable. If the writers had put some actual thought into a story to mirror more real life situations it would have been better. I get the feeling the writers were sitting around a table going "what would racists do?" and shouting out the most crazy answers and then using all of them.

Because it was so unbelievable you don't have any attachment or hate for the characters they are playing, and therefore you don't really care how the story turns out.

On a high level - a group of racists attempt to get revenge on an asian woman who had one of the ladies brothers put in prison for rape. The asian woman survives the horrible things they did to her. -- While that could be a great movie, it has to be done with more realistic situations and that would not be able to follow a "real time" timeline.

I felt gross after watching this, I was not entertained, and I felt I had wasted my time.

The Mist (2007)

It was worth a watch

[6/10 · 14 July 2023]

On a high level, I thought the movie was good. Put yourself in the characters shoes with a mist taking over the town and creatures attacking. They shoot it from the dads perspective, so you only get as much information as he has.

There are a lot of unanswered questions - what did the mist actually have to do with the creature take over? How did the military clear the mist at the end? And of course the ending - why didn't they wait until the last moment to start killing themself?

It was based on a Stephen king novel, so some things are going to go unanswered. The acting was good and the cinematography was nice.

Queer Eye (2018– )

Woke as a joke - fire JVN

[1/10 · 11 May 2023]

I loved the original Queer Eye so much. I loved this show in the beginning as well, the first season was great. Every season, JVN gets more political and spreads his hate for police or pushes victim narrative. Come on. I'm over JVN and I won't be watching any more of his work. It's sad because I love Bobby and his work. But when they are trying so hard to push their politics on me while I watch - I'll pass.

I love Tan and I used to love his fashion advice in the earlier seasons - but he has been giving some questionable fashion advice in the newer seasons. Did he forget not everyone has a runway to strut these crazy outfits? I think they are getting more and more out of touch with the general society.

Now it is over the top political. T-shirts saying 'Defund The Police'? Really? Speak their names? Really? The show is SOOOO important but really ruined by the bs politics. Makes me sad at the lost opportunity. The t-shirts, final straw. Pray they never need the police. 😢

Overall - I stopped watching and I won't be watching any more seasons.

The Lodge (2019)

Slow movie - decent

[5/10 · 4 May 2023]

Summary of movie: A divorced couple with two kids is getting ready to sign divorce papers. The wife can't handle it and kills herself. Six months after the funeral, the dad gets the idea to take the kids with the new girlfriend to a lodge - but then disappears for the rest of the movie with little explanation as to why no one can reach him. The kids begin plotting against the girlfriend to make her think she is going crazy - trying to make her believe they all died and are now ghosts stuck in limbo and not able to get into heaven unless they repent their sins and confess. When the kids realize they've gone too far, they go to the place they've been hiding all the things from the girlfriend and attempt to start the generator. It won't start and their phone is dead - because the daughter was on the phone with dad too much. (plot hole - if she could reach him then why didn't he pick up with the girlfriend called) They then walk in on Grace trying to repent her sins by kneeling on burning logs from the fireplace. Cut back to the dad - he is attempting to call but claims he hasn't been able to reach them and he is on the way. At this point - Grace is in seriously bad mental state. The kids slept in the attack to stay away from her and then the daughter has to use the bathroom and must go downstairs. She runs into Grace in the hallway, who then follows her upstairs. The kids are scared and Grace is acting crazy because she believes they are all already dead. Grace is saying she must repent by burning herself and then pulls out a gun just as the dad pulls up. He enters the lodge and calls out for them, and of course there is no answer. He sees the dog dead in its bed. When she sees him, she says god is punishing them for what they did and she puts a gun to her head. She pulls the trigger but there was no bullet, then she shots him and there was a bullet. Grace slowly realizes that she killed him. The kids run out and get in the car and you hear them driving away. But I guess they got stuck in the snow and Grace slow approaches the car with the gun. The scene cuts back to the place she shot him, but there is no body. Grace put the body at the kitchen table and everyone is sitting there as she sings a gospel song. The last scene of the movie is the gun laying on the table and you can see the bullets in the gun. Implying that she was going to kill the kids and maybe herself.

The movie is quite slow, but has some wonderful cinematic work. There were a few points in the movie that give you the chills for sure. While the actions of the kids is cringey - little brats - it makes for a decent story. There are no major thrill moments. Essentially, the prank the kids played on the girlfriend ended up killing their father due to her mental state. The movie ends on an unknown ending - so the viewer can interpret it the way they want I guess.

Andrew Santino: Cheeseburger (2023)

Political bull - only for Dems

[1/10 · 21 February 2023]

The very first line out of this "comics" mouth was about the anti Vaxers. Immediately no. I've seen what I needed to see, immediately no.

We tried to watch for the first 5 minutes and not a single laugh. Listen, you want to immediately turn off at least half your audience - get political. I'm not giving this leftist another second of my time.

We made it through the hospital bit about someone getting a vibrate silver bullet stuck in their butt and going to the ER. He literally said he would kill hisself and imitated the motions. Really??

I would suggest passing on this due to lack of laughs and political topics.

Chelsea Handler: Revolution (2022 TV Special)

No longer funny

[1/10 · 21 January 2023]

I used to love Chelsea on her talk shows. Then she turned too political and everything went downhill. Her idea of a joke is telling her girlfriends to get abortions or trashing straight white men. She literally opened a segment of her show saying let's talk about straight white men. It's never ok to trash someone because of their sexuality or race. Can you imagine if someone said let's trash gay black men?!?! Her stand up shows are not funny, she was more suited for talk shows. Her story lines are not funny. I'm done with her, I give up. I guess I've grown a lot on what I consider funny and she's still acting like a 12 year old.

Kendra (2009–2011)

Fake fake fake

[1/10 · 28 December 2022]

If you watch this and believe any of it, I hate to break the news that is all fake. Kendra is a terrible person and that plays out more and more in each episode. She is clueless about how selfish and terrible she is, so I feel a little sorry for her. She will never experience true genuine love. She treats men like crap, no wonder they cheat. And let's be clear - he cheated. She was desperate to cover it up and milked the story to try and make it look a certain way. But in reality, anyone paying attention could see through the crap. The things she does are gross and embarrassing. She is EXACTLY like Patti.

Kendra on Top (2012–2017)

What a POS

[1/10 · 28 December 2022]

Kendra really portrays what true trash is, even though she said she was in marriage Boot Camp with "all those other trash people". She process over and over again what a piece of crap she is. She is EXACTLY like Patti. Truly an ugly person. No amount of outer beauty could make up for that on the inside. Her show is as fake as they come, she takes zero accountability and expects everyone to cater to her. I would not be watching, expect I want to catch up for the sake of the GNL podcast. My husband has been watching with me and we constantly have to pause it to complain about how horrible she is. She would do ANYTHING to stay on TV and never have any regrets about who or what she did. Part of me feels sorry for her, but mostly just gross!! She'll never know what true love or happiness is.

Bling Empire (2021–2022)

Scripted bunch of jerks

[1/10 · 23 October 2022]

Every single person in this show is a literal piece of crap. With Kane being the biggest terd of them all. This show is clearly scripted even though it is supposed to be a reality show. The entire storyline where Kim and Kevin "date" is the most concocted thing I've ever seen. They start out by sitting at a coffee shop barely being able to even mention that they're interested in each other, but their actions do not act like they're interested at all. Then they keep getting put in situations together but it's never an actual date. The entire time Kim seems uninterested and is acting very poorly. She demands Kevin to have a lie detector test and then it comes out that she's not even interested why would you go through all that trouble for someone you don't care about at all. The storylines just don't make sense. Now in season three they're trying to create drama anytime Kim or Kevin start dating by acting like the other one is jealous and it's all fake. And can we talk about Kevin crashing his car 10 minutes after he bought it I mean how irresponsible do you have to be. Then there's Kane. The fakest person on the show, I think he is the saddest person on the show. He clearly tries to buy his friends and only get some gifts at certain times. But then he proceeds to talk about everyone behind their back. He has no values or morals because he doesn't understand what those things are. He is only concerned with being a model or whatever you want to call it. This human being has no idea what a real connection with another human being is like and he never well. Pathetic. Money cannot buy Kane a friend. Then we have Kelli and Jaime. Jaime is obsessed with fashion and I don't believe her in the Christine situation. Kelli is a follower she doesn't want to give Christine a chance because she's friends with Kane and he doesn't like her. How about form your own relationships and if somebody doesn't do something to you then there's no harm in being friends with them. Let other people have their own disagreements on their own. I started watching the show as a guilty pleasure you know reality TV, but it is so bad and the people are so shallow I don't think I can watch another second.

Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022 TV Special)

What is sure even doing

[1/10 · 18 October 2022]

I am not a fan of comedy where the entertainer is doing third grade impressions. I really don't understand why she or anyone thinks that funny. Over the top exaggerations are what kids do in the playground, not what educated adults find funny. Pathetic attempt at comedy. Making weird faces and talking in weird voices, that isn't a punchline. I've tried to watch all her specials and turned every single one off, I give up trying to like her. Her movie wasn't terrible but I just can't stand her comedy. And her outfits for her specials - she should probably fire her stylist for making her look like that.

Selling the OC (2022– )

Boring and unlikeable cast

[1/10 · 31 August 2022]

With selling sunset - which I love especially now that Christine is gone - they started with the realty and the personal details came in slowly. With this show, they jumped right into drama and I don't know the characters well enough for that this early. No one is very likable, I haven't matched into that one person I like because there just aren't any.

They are all trying way too hard to live up to the first cast, and they have not filled those shoes.

I find myself uninterested in the show as I'm watching I would recommend you passing in this one and wait for more seasons of selling sunset.

The Neighborhood (I) (2018– )

Woke woke liberal crap

[1/10 · 17 August 2022]

You know if they would leave their liberal pushy opinions out of this show it would be worth watching.

It started with an episode about how white people don't have to be scared of cops. Seriously??? Last I checked if you follow their instruction and give respect - then you get respect.

Then an episode about CRT and Tina called the people against it dumb asses. Well this dumb ass just stopped watching.

I'm seriously less interested in everyone involved with this show after this.

The writers seem like a bunch of liberal crybabies. I will be avoiding anything by this group of writers.

Street Food: USA (2022)

Disappointing - no food

[2/10 · 5 August 2022]

I love hearing the personal stories of people who have a food business and how they got to where they are, but this completely omitted the food. They showed some images of food, but did not talk about the dishes or give details on what to try if you visited the business. I've never watched a show about food where they forget to talk about the food.

Also this is the most woke food show I've ever seen.

Every episode is spaced and slow, they could have filled that extra time by talking about the dishes.

Very poorly done. Lord help us, this is the result of the new generation making tv shows.

The Northman (2022)

Play like

[7/10 · 9 June 2022]

This is not your typical movie, the scenes are more play like rather than movies like. Each scene is clearly defined and very theatrical. There were a lot of solos where an actor would have a monologue.

This was interesting to watch, just don't expect a regular movie.

Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill (2022 TV Special)

Rating each comedian separately

[5/10 · 7 June 2022]

I usually really like bill burr, but I wasn't crazy about his opening. Started getting political, and that's clearly only funny to half the people. I can laugh at my side and views but when you tell the other side to die or kill themself - not cool.

I thought this was a stand up for just bill, I wasn't expecting a bunch of random people.

Michelle wolf - zero stars - not funny. 100% political and woke - I'll be passing in any of her material in the future

Jimmy carr - very funny, I'll be checking out his special

There was a lady in black leather with a mullet (can't remember the name) - not my style and I didn't find her funny

Ian Edwards - pretty funny stuff

Joe bartnick - ok, I may check out more from him

Jessica kirson - I'm on the fence, I wouldn't avoid her but I'm not sure I would seek it out.

Josh (?) - the guy in the band - the whole set was one song he created, it was very short

Ronnie Cheng- hard pass, I started watching his special before and stopped after 5 minutes. Woke AF - pass pass pass.

Outer Range (2022– )

Goes nowhere

[5/10 · 14 May 2022]

I get wanting to leave some suspense until the next episode, but you can't do that all season and never answer any questions. Viewers lose interest. Also, there are some major story plot line errors.

The season starts off with Royal "discovering" a massive pit in his property, but later in the series we discover he knew about it since he was 6 and knew that it was a time travel because he traveled from 1866 to present after a terrible event. This twist makes the entire first episode bull crap, because they depicted it that he was just finding it. I can not stand when a story makes something appear like this and then you find out later the character knew already.

Also, the Autumn turns out to be Amy grown up that came back. If that was the case, what possible reason would she hide her identity from her own family and try to kill them? She also had a scene with her father and you think they might like each other, but then she starts messing with the other boy.

The kissing scenes are filmed to be intentionally gross and slobbery and I don't appreciate it. And why, just why, do you have a Cowboy breaking into full song at any moment? How does him singing have anything to do with the story? It's like they just wanted to fill time. And he isn't a great singer.

I'm so confused and annoyed by some of these stupid things that I don't have much desire to watch next season.

Chappelle's Home Team - Earthquake: Legendary (2022 TV Special)

Killing white people?

[1/10 · 8 May 2022]

I thought he was doing ok until we got to the Obama is a saint and I want to shoot a bunch of white people today part. No thanks. As soon as a comedian goes there I'm done. I'm tired of it.

You can give it but when it's flipped is not ok. Is not ok either way to say crap like this.

Be better.

Jeff Foxworthy: The Good Old Days (2022 TV Special)

Finally a comedy show NOT about Covid or politics

[8/10 · 11 April 2022]

Thank you thank you thank you!!

I've tried watching several stand up comedy shows and immediately get turned off when the comic goes political, so it was very refreshing to watch a show without being attacked. I needed that.

Good, refreshing comedy.

Keep it up!

Taylor Tomlinson: Look at You (2022 TV Special)

Pretty funny

[6/10 · 6 April 2022]

I really enjoyed her first special, and this was definitely worth watching. I don't think it was quite s as good as her her first.

She did take some low political shots, which I don't appreciate, but let's face it, she is mentally ill so what do you expect.

All in all I say watch it.

Aziz Ansari: Nightclub Comedian (2022 TV Special)

Nothing funny - too political

[1/10 · 4 April 2022]

I'm all for equal representation in comedy, but the opening act of this show was doing nothing but putting down people who chose to not be vaccinated. That's fine if the material that you are presenting is funny. But the literal first five minutes of the show is just oh my God I'm so stupid I'm un unvaccinated. But the best part is when immediately after this skit he says he's not trying to call people stupid except that's what he just did for five minutes. Then he says we need to come together and find a way to talk to one another, the exact opposite of his opening act. This hypocrisy makes me sick.

The entire show is political, from the vaccine to misinformation, to Trump, to Biden.

Aziz - your show is exactly the problem with being able to have conversations that bring us together. You can't just call people who think differently than you stupid and claim anything they believe in is fake news.

And YES, I'm Republican! I'm very proud of my beliefs!

Catherine Cohen: The Twist...? She's Gorgeous (2022 TV Special)

The singing is terrible

[1/10 · 22 March 2022]

What in the actual heck is this crap show? I started watching this and after 5 minutes of terrible singing, I decided this was a do not finish. She overdid the entrance and I began to wonder if she was desperately trying to show off her singing instead of perform comedy, which if she thinks she's an amazing singer, she clearly got too many participation trophies.

The first 10 minutes was so gut wrenching bad that I couldn't stomach the rest.

Britney vs Spears (2021)

Poorly done documentary

[2/10 · 23 January 2022]

This was a terrible attempt at a documentary. First, I'm not a major Britney fan, and this documentary will leave you confused as to all the people involved because they provide no explanation who people are and what role they play. They skip over several important parts - the breakdown she had - I think that's pretty relevant to the story. After watching this, I didn't feel like I understand much more than I already knew.

Candyman (2021)

Terrible

[1/10 · 12 December 2021]

Wow it does not get much worse than this. Terrible storyline, terrible acting, and painfully slow and uneventful. Just go watch the first candy man and don't waste your time in this.

Fresh, Fried and Crispy (2021)

Great food - terrible host

[6/10 · 24 June 2021]

The food and restaurants in this show are amazing, I'm so sorry they had to deal with this annoying host.

The slow motion shots of the host eating, and then with food all in his beard are making this show hard to watch. What kind of food host refuses to eat the food served? He won't eat tomato or several other items he is served. I don't like this guy at all. I saw an extreme close up of this man's tongue, I could have went my whole life without seeing that. The host is super annoying and rude.

No Man's Land (IV) (2020)

You must be bilingual to watch this

[1/10 · 17 May 2021]

There are no Spanish subtitles and literally HALF the movie is in Spanish. I lost interest after 10 minutes when I had no idea what was being said.

Like, not just a sentence here and there, literally entire conversations.