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Reviews
Shiranui kengyô (1960)
''Eliminating a guy like that would be a public service''
This movie has absolutely nothing to do with the 26 movie series of the great blind character Zatoichi, played by the fantastic Shintaro Katsu, who also plays a blind masseuse in this story. However, the director of this production, Kazuo Mori, later directed 3 Zatoichi films: ''The Tale of Zatoichi Continues'' (the second film in the series), ''Zatoichi and the Doomed Man'' (the eleventh in the series), and ''Zatoichi at Large'' (the twenty-third film from the series).
"The Blind Menace'', made two years before the character Zatoichi's first movie, is a very simple story about a blind man named Suginoichi who has only three goals in his life: to have lots of money, betray and kill everyone around him, and rape as many women as possible.
The first scenes of the film show the character as a child, doing something absolutely silly but disgusting, which made me lose the desire to drink the coffee I was having at that moment. And it is clear to viewers that that child has nothing good being developed inside of him, he is a disgusting, lying, thief, and absolutely mean child. When he becomes an adult, the character progresses in his crimes. In addition to continuing to steal money from others, he also performs a pseudo-massage that leads his victims to death. Now, in addition to being an uncontrollable serial killer, he's also a relentless rapist. As I said before, there is no woman in the movie who is free from being raped by Suginoichi. Lying, betraying, stealing, killing and raping is his life, apart from these ''sports'' of an authentic psychotic, life has no meaning for him. He just doesn't betray his own shadow because that's impossible.
There is a very interesting moment in the story when one of three thieves (not murderers, I must say, just steal), are horrified by the extreme meanness and cowardice that lies within Suginoichi, and then, as they walk away from him, one comments to the another that they should kill him: ''Eliminating a guy like that would be a public service''. Lol...And it's really true, I think it's the perfect phrase, and it sums up what Suginoichi is and deserves: a weed that deserves to be eliminated!
In the final 5 minutes of the film, finally a detective and authorities overpower the serial killer, and he is partially lynched in the street by a maddened and angry mob, and finally, the authorities take him to prison, and the film ends.
Aesthetically the film is very beautiful, I think Kazuo Mori made a very artistic work through the radical movements of his cameras, in some scenes, especially the scenes with the crowd. The photography is beautiful, a wonderful black and white and very well used. Ichiro Saito's music is also very convincing and in the moments of impact of the scenes.
Perhaps what disappoints in this film is the very character of Shintaro Katsu, who two years later would play Zatoichi, a character with a totally opposite nature from the serial killer Suginoichi. So, for those who have never seen "The Blind Menace" and seen the films of the "Zatoichi" series before, they are shocked by the cruelty of the Suginoichi character, after all, Katsu was marked as the figure of understanding, kindness and honesty, through the character Zatoichi. But we have to keep in mind that "The Blind Menace'' was made two years before ''Zatoichi''!
That's it, if you, like me, love the work of the fantastic Shintaro Katsu, you have to see this movie because it reveals that Katsu was an excellent artist and totally versatile. My only advice is don't drink anything during the first 10 minutes of the movie!
The Chase (1946)
The Horses Are Tired
This movie is so bad that people deserve to be warned about it. In fact, this junk was only supposed to be 55 minutes long, but to stay in the feature film category, incompetent director Arthur Ripley included a 30-minute segment of nonsense. So let's divide this crap into 3 parts, to clarify the victims who intend to watch this bomb.
Part 1: in the initial 30 minutes the basic story of the film takes place (this first part will be the most exciting part of the film, everything that comes after that is a waste of time): Robert Cummings, a former navy soldier, finds a wallet on the street, hands it to the owner, Steve Cochran, who is a violent and misogynist mobster, and Cummings becomes Cochran's driver. The entire movie is full of improbability, and here are some of them: Cochran cuts his hair with a hat (has anyone ever seen someone cut their hair wearing a hat?); Cochran's wife, Michèle Morgan, who has run away from her husband and mysteriously has a desire to go to Havana (don't ask me why she wants to go specifically to Cuba, that's not a political reason and this is not revealed); Cochran mysteriously locks Lloyd Corrigan in his cellar (don't ask me why he wants to kill Corrigan, this is not revealed), who before his time comes, enjoys looking at a bottle of 1815 Napoleon brandy, and is immediately eaten alive by the Cochran's pet dog. Finally, Cummings buys two tickets to Havana, Don Wilson watches him buy the tickets (in the third part, I'll return to the complex case of Wilson's character), and arranges with Morgan to take her on the 9:30pm trip. He takes advantage of the fact that it's early, and goes to sleep a little, after all, nobody is made of iron. Viewers should do the same, turn off the movie, and go to sleep.
Part 2: starts from 30 minutes of film, until completing 60 minutes of film. What was filmed during that half hour is what most revolts the viewers. I understand the revolt because actually what seems to be exciting starts to get totally far-fetched, pointless, meaningless, and completely hallucinogenic. So forget all the nonsense filmed in this 30-minute film: ship trip; Cummings playing piano and having sex with Morgan; the coachman (Martin Garralaga), saying that the horses are tired; the dancing and horrible song in the Cuban nightclub; Morgan being murdered with a knife in her back; the long and damned scenes of the monkey-handled knife; Cummings on the run from the police; the murdered photographer; and Peter Lorre shooting 2 shots at Cummings. All of these scenes don't have to make sense for a single reason: this half hour is irrelevant to the movie's plot because they're part of a Cummings dream! Yes, this half hour of the movie is just a dream, it's all a lie, and nothing has anything to do with it. Sorry to discourage some movie lovers, but I must warn you that if you got carried away with this Cuban plot, you should examine your brains. This plot did not exist, it was all a dream of Cummings and you were made of morons, if you took this half hour seriously.
Part 3: let's get back to the movie now, and this is the most absurd part (if you thought you've seen too much bullshit, the worst comes now). This third part starts at 60 minutes of film and goes through the final 86 minutes. Cummings wakes up (yes, remember, half an hour ago, he lay down, took a nap, had a psychotic Cuban dream, and the viewers lost half an hour of your life), and calls your navy psychiatrist after all, he's absolutely not understanding what's going on with him (natural, considering this is a totally stupid movie). Jack Holt, his psychiatrist, explains to Cummings that he is a war psycho, so this demented behavior is natural. So, they go for some booze in a bar (don't ask me why these two imbeciles went for a drink in a bar, this is not revealed), and we find out that Holt is friends with Cochran and Lorre (don't ask me since when, or the relationship level, or because Holt knows the two mobsters, these things are not revealed). Then Cummings remembers that he has to take Morgan and go to Cuba (he finally remembered that ''little detail''), and goes to her. Cochran and Lorre find out from Don Wilson (didn't I say we'd get back to him?), that Cummings bought two tickets to Havana (don't ask me how Wilson knew Cummings was a Cochran driver, this is not revealed). Cummings and Morgan go to a ship, Cristobal (don't ask me why they took this ship, this is not revealed). Cochran finds out they took the Cristobal ship, but don't ask me how Cochran found out that his wife and her lover took the Cristobal ship, this is not revealed, and this time Cochran himself tells Lorre not to ask him how he knows Cummings and Morgan will take the ship Cristobal, as he doesn't even know why he knows this! I'm serious, if you doubt this ''amazing philosophical scene'', watch it if you dare. OK, we've come to the end, and I'll just mention one of Cochran's fun toys: he has the car accelerator pedal on the floor of the back seat of the car, and controls the car's speed himself, independent of the driver (don't ask me because he has this accessory in the car, let's say it is perhaps typical of every mobster's eccentricity, but the reason for this is not revealed). Peter Lorre is at the wheel, and Cochran is at the accelerator, and they go at an incredible speed, get hit by a train, and finally charred to death. Next, we see Cummings with a newspaper in hand, before the Cristobal ship leaves, telling Morgan that they don't need to worry about Cochran anymore (after all, he's finally dead). Don't ask me how Cummings got a newspaper with a story covering an accident that happened probably less than 30 minutes ago, this miracle of the fast press in 1946 is not revealed. And finally, in the last scene again we have Cummings kissing Morgan in a cart, and the same coachman, Garralaga, who said the horses were tired, is driving the cart, but this time, at least he doesn't say the horses are tired.
I hope I've clarified the main points of this ''fantastic'' work which has absolutely nothing of noir, it's just a romantic drama with half an hour of disconnected scenes from a hallucinogenic dream. Next time, better choose the movies you are going to watch, and don't waste your time anymore!
Les risques du métier (1967)
One of the best thrillers in the history of cinema!
First film starring the great artist (musician, composer, actor, film director), Jacques Brel. I don't write a lot of reviews, but it's amazing that few people have written on IMDB about this movie. I will make a summary, it is a wonderful film. It holds your attention from beginning to end, I doubt anyone will sleep in this film, time passes for you like 10 minutes!
Brel is wonderful, and very convincing in her performance, as is the great Emmanuelle Riva, and the girls also interpret very well, especially Nathalie Nell, by the way, how beautiful this girl was!
The story is simple, but the development gets very complicated, and everything suggests that Brel, a teacher, really had some kind of sexual involvement (or at least attempts), with 3 of his students! The film is a warning, and probably everyone has heard of some story of a teenager who said she/he was raped, or at least abused by an adult, and in the end, it turns out that the teenager lied. I particularly know of a case where a school was forced to close its doors on such a false charge. But in this film, the situation is more complicated, there are 3 students, not just one, accusing the abuse of a teacher!
This film is wonderful, and the way the suspense was developed by the great director, André Cayatte, in flash-backs, is very attractive and stimulating, it seems that the viewer is transported within the story of each character. It is an unforgettable film, as well as the performances, and it has a lesson: never underestimate the human being, even if they are children or adolescents, they can be dishonest and liars, however, very convincing!
Forbidden (1932)
Capra's worst job, Stanwyck's worst job, the worst movie on Earth!
I seriously thought about a reason to waste my time writing this review, and the main reason is to alert Capra and Stanwyck fans: get ready to see their worst work, and one of the worst films on planet Earth. You will be irritated, and you will lose a precious 85 minutes of your life.
Some people compare this crap with some masterpieces, but that is not certain.
For example, it is completely unfair to compare this film to NOW, VOYAGER, in which the character of Bette Davis, after the trip she takes, she becomes more mature, beautiful and intelligent! In this crap FORBIDDEN, Stanwyck's character, after his trip, becomes increasingly stupid, submissive, and highly masochistic, with 0 self-esteem!
STELLA DALLAS, another example, the situation is completely different too, Barbara makes a woman who sacrifices herself for the well-being of her daughter, this is not the case with this crap FORBIDDEN!
Here, the situations are completely different, the film is narrated through a totally macho and patriarchal vision:
Stanwyck becomes pregnant by a scoundrel, Menjou, who tricks her and does not say he is married --- after a few years Stanwyck donates her daughter to Menjou himself and his wife (and he considers his wife an invalid, just because she uses a cane! Seriously, this is not a comedy film) --- Stanwyck continues to have sex with Menjou and even helps him and be elected Governor of the state --- Stanwyck marries a newspaper owner, Bellamy, and kills him, to protect Menjou from a scandal --- Stanwyck goes to jail --- at the end of the film, when Menjou is dying and leaves half her fortune on paper, Stanwyck rips the paper and ends her days like a beggar on the street!
I tried to summarize this garbage for you, so you don't have to waste your time. Probably Capra made this film in a week, because the story is very ridiculous, the makeup is horrible, and the performances are deplorable.
Get out of it, unless you are as masochistic as Stanwyck's character in this movie trash! The surviving copies of this film should be buried, for people to forget how stupid and sexist humans were in the 1930s.
The Time Tunnel: Kill Two by Two (1967)
The best episode of the whole series!
I will not say anything about this episode except that it is the best of the whole series! History, script, ideas, performances, everything wonderful. And we still have a great performance of Mako and the great Philip Ahn! Absolutely perfect!
Symptoms (1974)
Best to eat a sandwich at MacDonalds
If you want to lost 90 minutes of your life, then this 'movie' is for you. There is not much to write about because everything is absolutely monotonous, and the two protagonists (terrible actresses, by the way, the whole cast, as well as the director incompetent), are as communicative as two trees in the first 40 minutes. In the case of this drug, it is a big spoiler to say that there is nothing important because really that is the secret of the movie: make the viewer waste time in the middle of nowhere. Escape this garbage, it's best to eat a sandwich at MacDonalds; at least you are not left with the stomach so sick.
Canyon Passage (1946)
Great purgative!
The worst film of Tourneur, one of the worst performances of Andrews, Hayward, Donlevy & Bond. If you want to lose your time, this is trouble for you. It's a ridiculous story, extremely long movie going. Further proof that great directors and artists do not do miracles. Anyway, if you are having trouble vomiting or defecating, watch this garbage.
Valhalla Rising (2009)
The worst movie of the planet Earth! Cursed be!
I bought this trash DVD thinking it would be a film about Vikings, Valhalla, Middle Ages, Historical Legends, etc. Forget this trash! There's nothing more, just a bunch of false 'artists' with dirty clothes, rolling in the mud! There is no dialogue, no script, and the worst 'soundtrack' from the planet, if it can be called music.
The 'director' of this 'film' should be sentenced to life imprisonment, but first return the money to those who bought their junk movie.
For the first time in my life, after watching this aberration, I literally bent and broken a DVD into several pieces and threw it in the latrine.
90 minutes lost in my life, seeing the worst crap on Earth! Cursed be!
The Seventh Victim (1943)
One of the worst movies on planet Earth!
It is the worst film produced by Val Lewton (the best is 'The Leopard Man', same year, 1943). Nothing in this movie makes sense, nothing is deeply explained, the script seems to have been written by a (retarded) child of 5 years, and all the actors have a terrible performance and without expression. They are like refrigerators trying a dialogue among themselves.
The story: a young woman, Kim Hunter, has her missing sister, and a bunch of idiots who come out of nowhere, try to help her. One of them is the missing sister's husband, and suddenly, in the middle of the movie, he falls in love with Hunter (apparently, and for no reason, he loses interest in the missing wife)!
The movie has no style, no genre: is not a mystery, it is not terror, it is not noir, it is not drama, in fact, it is difficult to determine the style, perhaps it would be a new definition for 'pure garbage'. The most we can say is that is ridiculous and comical in some scenes: Hunter's missing sister, wears a Cleopatra-style wig, and is part of a group of Satanists (as emotional as a bunch of gathered trees). Inexplicably the 'sister Cleopatra' is a potential suicide (do not ask the reason, the movie does not explain anything; the goal of the director, producer and screenwriter is to make you sleep ).
The highlight scene: the group of Satanists gets highly impressed when some characters recite The Lord's Prayer for them!
Anyway, you can risk and lose 70 minutes of your life seeing this pigsty, however, remember you will notice that never in your life 70 minutes took so long to pass!
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Superman Christ! Or: a film that Count Dracula would love!
The last 12 hours of Christ's life & 2 hours of fantasy with lots of blood and violence to the public! In fact, everything is so exaggerated that it almost becomes absurdly comical some scenes. Priests give about 30 punches in the face of Christ, and he resists. Then, soldiers Romans give at least 80 lashes on the back and chest of Christ and he still resists! Later, Christ takes probably about 200 lashes while carrying the cross, and the cross falls around 20 times along the way, and he still manages to carry the cross! And when Christ is nailed to the cross, the soldiers still drop the cross about 2 times, and Christ is still alive! What a miracle! This is a superman Christ! LOL!
No, this is not a movie Monty Python's movie .... at least Terry Jones or Terry Gilliam would never use so much blood to make a movie ... In fact, this is a crap of two hours with a lot of violence, plagues, sadism, blood, blood, and a lot of blood .... yes, you're not in a Dracula movie, but here it actually has a lot of blood!
An advice: do you want to see the best film about Christ? So, see the movie ''Jesus Of Nazareth'', directed by Franco Zeffirelli, with the best Christ of the planet: Robert Powell! And do not waste your time watching this blood trash directed by this idiot named Mel Gibson.