max-crack Reviews

Stones in Exile (2010)

Warning: Repetitive flashing images may try your patience

[5/10 · 28 May 2010]

Before a recent showing on UK television, a BBC warning was read out: Warning, this film contains repetitive flashing images. You bet it does. This somewhat sanitised version of the story of "Exile" is worth seeing for Dominic Tarle's '70s period Stones footage and pics, but these are inter cut with modern footage shot in excruciating wobbly hand-held camera mode and edited with such quick fire dizziness that one might be watching 1980s "youth TV" all over again. Ugh. Example: Mick and Charlie briefly visit the defunct Olympic Studios in London and have a wander around, but the footage is deliberately badly shot so you can't actually see anything past Mick's ear. And the two old geezers barely remember being there, so they have nothing to say either.

Nearly everybody then whines on for about an hour about how awful it was back then (yeah right). It's also worth noting that (probably sensibly) the current owners of Keef's villa refused permission for modern-day filming, so we don't actually see Nellcote either.

West End Jungle (1961)

Curio from a very different time

[5/10 · 23 July 2009]

Straight-ahead exploitation film from a director of nudie flicks (oh and exec producer of "The Sorcerers", which is actually a good movie). Hardly shocking, more comical, although still banned by the BBFC on initial release. England in the early Sixties must have been more prudish than previously thought.

There are some funny moments with a lot of non-actors "doing acting", and the spy-jazz theme tune is a swinging number (it gets replayed many times for extra value). I'd say the real interest, though, is the shots of a long-lost vintage Soho: a world away from today's tourist attraction.

Half marks, for genuine Z-grade/camp/period piece/curiosity value. Seekers of smut should, however, look elsewhere.

The Goon Show (1968 TV Movie)

Just as well they only made one

[3/10 · 18 December 2008]

In 1968 the nascent Thames TV invited 1950s BBC Radio favourites The Goons onto their new London television channel, with the idea of recreating their uniquely surreal humour in a weekly show . A pilot was filmed, without the musical breaks from the original radio format, and with John Cleese taking the linkman role. And that was about that, since the series never progressed beyond the pilot stage. Presumably it was thought a failure at the time - and rightly so, since it looks pretty terrible now.

So The Goons make a cursory effort to re-enact one of their last radio shows, but it does not translate to TV and they very likely know it all along. The team's comic timing is awry, perhaps so they can get off backstage for a shot of the old brandy, and the low production values don't help (we often miss jokes because cast members are out of shot). And for some unexplained reason a beehived dolly bird lounges on a chair in a justifiably bored fashion, but says and does nothing - most odd. Milligan has the right idea - he just gives up and wanders off halfway through. Most definitely for the most zealous completists only.

The Last Goon Show of All (1972 TV Movie)

Great fun for fans, but don't start here

[8/10 · 18 December 2008]

A Goon fan from an early age, thanks to radio repeats in the mid-1970s, I can now revisit the source of so much of my childhood mirth via the regular Goon reruns on cable radio. And to me, the original shows now vary from plainly terrible (early), through spotty (mid period), to inspired genius going into orbit (last couple of years). They do really seem to have become "more switched on" as they progressed.

Then there's this one-off special, taped in 1972. Fans will probably know the story by now: t'was the 50th anniversary of BBC Radio; Milligan supposedly didn't want to do the show at all and had to be cajoled into it, finally cobbling together a script in a couple of days; some of yer actual Royals were present in the audience... yes all true but the main attraction here is to actually see a Goon Show taking place, since apart from a couple of very dodgy films and 1960s TV recreations, this is the only visual record we have available. (Surprising -perhaps- that nobody thought to film any of the original performances when the show was at its peak).

There's no real plot to this reunion effort, but since when did that matter much with the Goons at their best? Some of the actual gags here might be weak (although I'd disagree with their being especially crude, as mentioned elsehwere), but there are moments of Goonish genius throughout. And it's great fun for fans. The team's comic timing is pretty much still there. Spot the in-jokes, of which there are many (watch for the orchestra tapping their batons back at their conductor!). Listen out for a brilliant, inspired sound collage (BBC Radiophonics?) representing Major Bloodnok taking a dose of his "perversions" to ward off the approaching Red Bladder. Watch the cast corpse repeatedly. Marvel at the period fashions (or lack of). And yes, you can finally see why Max Geldray was nicknamed "Conks".

Various edits exist, and some are fairly severe, with up to 30 minutes of material missing.

Batman (1966–1968)

Holy Moly, Batman...

[10/10 · 16 November 2007]

Currently showing here in the UK on late-night BBC4 (the BBC's cable arts channel), 40+ years on from its' original scheduling, this classic 1960s show is looking mighty fine. When I used to tune in to Batman, at 5.15 on weekday afternoons, back in the early '70s, I was intrigued by its' loopiness, and I've been enjoying the reruns now I'm a forty-something. It actually works much better for me this time around because now I get the in-jokes. And believe me there are gags and nods to cinema influences a-plenty. Campy to the hilt, OTT, ridiculous, just plain silly ... of course it is, it's all of those things and more! You get to wondering how much was played for laughs. Quite a lot, I reckon. But just enough to make it work. Great fun. Recommended.

Arena: Chelsea Hotel (1981) Season 6, Episode 3

A look at some of the residents at the the famous New York hotel

[7/10 · 28 May 2007]

This TV documentary was made for the UK BBC TV "Arena" strand in 1981, and shows some of the colourful residents of and people connected with the New York Chelsea Hotel. Some highlights include Andy Warhol and William Burroughs having dinner; Quentin Crisp pontificating in a blue rinse hairdo on his balcony and Nico forgetting what she is talking about halfway through a dour rendition of "Chelsea Girls". A number of lesser-known characters also appear, linked together by a tour guide walking around the building and some sub-Shining sequences of a child cycling round the landings on a rickety tricycle.

Worth seeing. Also something of a time capsule, since one notices that most of those who appear are now no longer with us.

San Francisco (1968)

You had to be there

[2/10 · 29 August 2006]

Those gullible individuals who believe that "Syd shot this movie" need to get a grip. The only Syd involvement here is on the discordant soundtrack.

"San Francisco" was shown a few years ago as part of a London's National Film Theatre evening of 1960s experimental films, and the film-maker was there in person. He seemed rather surprised when during the Q&A someone asked if there was any meaning to the film. No, he replied, it was part of a series we did pretty much for fun, and we knew the Floyd, and they gave us a soundtrack for this one. And, er, that's it. Maybe the audience was just disappointed to have just sat through an experience akin to standing in front of a stroboscope for 15 minutes, for here is a quarter-hour of dizzying stop-frame images of mid-1960s San Fran, overlaid with colour effects, and all set to an early version of the Floyd's "Interstellar Overdrive". Probably great for back-projection at the UFO Club, as might have been intended at the time, but otherwise file under "you really had to be there".

Revolver (1978– )

Not a candidate for DVD box set treatment

[3/10 · 1 August 2006]

This short-lived late-night TV music series (7 episodes) aired in summer 1978 and featured a range of bands interspersed with pre-recorded links by Peter Cook, these being projected on a large overhead screen above the studio audience. The setup was supposedly a rundown club having hit hard times, with Cook playing the disapproving, sneering host deliberately trying to antagonise everyone on set. He needn't have bothered pretending. Pretty awful, but worth a few stars if only for getting such a bizarre idea past the pitch stage, plus of course the UK punk bands (Ian Dury, X Ray Spex, Buzzcocks, Siouxsie & The Banshees etc) had not done a lot of TV at this time and are worth seeing. Made by ATV, and produced by pop impresario Mickie Most, of all people.

Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa! (2006 TV Movie)

Excellent dramatisation, but more tragic than comic

[8/10 · 13 April 2006]

This is a "docu-drama" of (mostly) the later years of KW's life, with nearly all the parts played by actors (but spot which TV quartermaster plays himself!). It was made for the BBC4 arts channel but my guess is there will be syndication and DVD releases soon. KW is ably played by the excellent Michael Sheen, here repeating his previous stage role with great success. Most of the supporting cast are also very good, and a nice touch is the recreation of period TV appearances with the new actors. This is not, however, light viewing - anyone familiar with KW's diaries and general unhappy demeanour will already know how twisted he could be in later life - so don't expect 80 minutes of Carry On styled buffoonery, since the emphasis is decidedly downbeat throughout. Recommended, but it's tragi-comic, indeed.

Shepperton Babylon (2005 TV Movie)

Worth having a TV just to watch this.

[10/10 · 18 September 2005]

I don't watch much TV as a rule but "Shepperton Babylon" is fabulous viewing. It is based on a book of the same name that documents some of the more salacious details of the forgotten early years of British cinema. Owners of the famous Kenneth Anger "Hollywood Babylon" books of the 1970s will already be familiar with the style, but who would have thought similar scurrilous sleaziness was to be found in good old Blighty? Good Lord! Surely not! :-)

This hour-long documentary is both entertaining and fascinating. A tongue-in-cheek commentary from the very English Charlie Higson adds to the viewing delight. Made for the BBC's arts channel BBC4, but can hopefully be tracked down in syndication. Essential. More please!

13 Ghosts (1960)

Dated, and inessential

[4/10 · 10 August 2005]

"13 Ghosts" is one of Mr William Castle's creakier movies. The story is just about reasonable and the acting is equally average throughout. What was drive-in fodder 45 years ago is really only of interest now because of the "Illusion-O" gimmick where the eponymous ghosts appear and disappear. These were of course just colour sequences overlaid on a static background, which required similarly coloured viewing glasses to be effective. Neat idea, but sadly most prints in circulation do not include the coloured sequences and are black-and-white throughout. As a result the film falls rather flat (although I believe the recent DVD issue restores the gimmick).

If you are looking to see one of the better Castle movies, I would wholly recommend "Straitjacket" instead. No gimmicks, apart from an elderly Joan Crawford hamming it up with gusto, but a whole lot more entertaining. "13 Ghosts" is for completists only.

Nightmare in Wax (1969)

A treat for Z-grade movie fans, but probably nobody else

[4/10 · 5 August 2005]

This is a treat for fans of Z-grade movies. Here you will find writing and acting bad enough to rival anything Ed Wood ever produced. Veteran bad movie actor Cameron Mitchell is a former makeup man from "Paragon Studios" who, after a nasty acid-in-the-face incident at a social gathering, becomes an embittered Mad Scientist (tm) with a rubber scar on his face who takes revenge by kidnapping Paragon actors and turning them into living statues in his Secret Laboratory (tm) handily located in the local wax museum. Or are they zombies who do his bidding? He's not sure.

Happily, many of your favourite movie clichés are here. Check out the villain's lab! Are those mysterious steaming vats of liquid? Test tubes of coloured water with no explained purpose? Yay! And what ho, do we see spare arms and legs arranged kinda casual-like on a wooden rack? You betcha! Marvel at the bumbling detectives acting with straight out of Plan Nine! Now, enjoy a stupidly tame car chase, and hear more dizzy bimbo screaming than you could possibly want. Raise an eyebrow at the screwy plot line, made even more opaque by the totally meaningless ending that seems to have no connection to the rest of the movie.

Cheesy trash and much fun for the bad movie connoisseur.

Strait-Jacket (1964)

Camp classic. Great!

[9/10 · 22 July 2005]

This film is an out-and-out camp classic, and Joanie's finest hour post-"Baby Jane". After she had pulled out of "Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte", canny shlockmeister William Castle signed Joan up to play a demented matriarch character in this campy horror-shocker and she did not disappoint.

According to Castle's autobiography, Miss Crawford was actively involved in the production at several levels, herself supervising rewrites of the script, changing the supporting cast to her liking and also choosing the unlikely wig and costumes for her character. And from her first scene, getting off a train (in high heels!), to the final showdown with her bad-girl daughter character, Joan's performance here is pure class.

Watch for the famous cardboard axe in shadow and a hilarious cat fight with her daughter who literally throws herself on the bed and squeals. But don't poke fun: it might be verging on farce, but this is a tight, pacey film with some good direction and camera-work. The overhead shot of Joan losing it in the tiny closet with the NASTY striped wallpaper is worth the price of admission alone.

Recommended.

The Blank Generation (1976)

Great music, arty visuals, but possibly too arty for some folks

[10/10 · 9 July 2005]

This is a great, atmospheric, you might say "cinema-verite" film of a selection of the bands that made up the mid-70s CBGBs New York Punk scene. It was shot on a single 16mm camera, largely live at the club, but also with some "out in the street" sequences, and is a vital, rare document of exciting and vibrant music. And OK, let me get this over to ya now, the film doesn't have the benefit of sync sound. I'd guess the audio, which is a mixture of live tapes and commercially available records, was dubbed on later when the film makers had cut their footage together. So it's all pretty jumbled up, and the visuals don't match up a lot of the time, but I reckon that's a feature, not a fault. It all just adds to the rough-n-ready quality. Maybe those negative IMDb reviews came from folks who just didn't "get it" and expected something more slick, more MTV (yuk). Well isn't that ironic, since MTV and its nauseous ilk are forever trying to ape old-school underground film makers, and they usually fall way short of the mark simply because unlike these guys, MTV are clueless.

Some of the bands you'll see here went on to commercial success (check the very early footage of Talking Heads and Blondie) and some are still propping up the "influential" lists thirty years on (Television and Patti Smith just played sold-out painfully hip gigs in London last month) and some verge on performance art (Wayne/Jayne County) and some are just plain forgotten (Marbles, Tuff Darts). But none of the 12 or so segments here are over-long and the Ramones footage is worth the price of admission alone. Music fans should be happy someone bothered to capture the CBGBs scene while it still was a scene. Essential, x10.

A Dirty Shame (2004)

Not great

[2/10 · 12 May 2005]

Oooh dear, this really isn't very good, is it. Did someone use that old cliché, "return to form"? I think not. I'd heard that "Dirty Shame" was going straight to video in the UK, but it has actually gotten what studios call a "limited theatrical release". This is what sometimes happens when they realise they've got a turkey on their hands, but one that might make a few bucks with a "cult" audience: they slip it out quietly to a handful of cinemas and forget to advertise it. So this latest John Waters movie gets a week on two screens in London and no publicity. And boy can I see why. Sqwark! Yep. You got it. Bernard Matthews Turkey Farms would be proud.

Now that Waters has finally hit Broadway mainstream with the hit "Hairspray" show, and can get his movies bankrolled by Time Warner, nobody expects him to still make'em as if they starred Divine, but this one I'm afraid is really feeble. The plot,such as it is, could be considered a (well-deserved, IMO) poke at the "new puritanism" currently running rife in the US. Prudes vs. perceived "perverts", that kind of thing. Plenty of mileage for satire there then! At least, you'd think so. For the first twenty minutes here, whilst the characters are being introduced, the film shows promise, but after that, it's as if Waters changed his mind and decided to ditch any attempt at storyline and just go for gross-out to get some easy laughs. Trouble is, there aren't many. The material is weak, and although the actors do their best, it's just embarrassing. The same situations get recycled over and over as the film confusedly grinds on; there's an incomprehensible religious subplot and the whole last section of the film is one gigantic outdoors rave-up that might be intended to be a homage to the old zombie movies, "Night of the Living Dead" et al, but really just had me checking my watch and wondering if the end was in sight. I'd lost track of what was supposed to be going on at all by the time of the welcome climax (literally) and phew, I thought, now we can all leave.

Good points: it's faithfully shot in Baltimore; it uses a lot of real locations and there are cameos from several of the surviving Dreamlanders. There are a few funny lines, and snatches of some good tunes on the soundtrack, and the Candice Stickles daughter character with the inflatable bazoomers (stolen straight out of a Russ Meyer movie) is a fun character. But that's about all I could find to like here. Not recommended. Go see "Female Trouble" again instead. No tacky animated squirrels in that one, either. Beat it, hon.

Absolutely Fabulous (1992–2012)

Gotta give it up sometime, sweetie

[5 May 2005]

"Absolutely Fabulous", most likely the archetypal "wealthy grownups behaving badly" TV series, first aired in 1992 in a midweek BBC2 slot, without much ceremony. Here was one of those cultish, slow-starting shows that soon had everyone asking each other "Have you seen..." in the conspiratorial fashion of those who are in on a joke from the start. The first season was Absolutely Hysterical, and the funniest, most original sitcom on TV at the time. And we all marvelled at how inspired casting unexpectedly went on to revive Joanna Lumley's career from the doldrums in just six short shows.

The second Ab Fab season dropped the quality a bit ... and thirteen years on, are they ever going to stop? After such a bright start, the show is now a shadow of its former self. There have been umpteen (five? six? more? ) seasons of the TV show; numerous specials; a made-for-video film; a "Making Of" pseudo-doc; an out-takes video; a diabolical tie-in Pet Shop Boys single; a list of rent-a-names making "guest appearances" that's now as long as your arm.... Come on! Give it up, sweetie! The proverbial barrel is well and truly scraped!

The first season is still hugely funny, though. Just wish that they'd not ended up being filed under "cash cow".

Automania 2000 (1963)

Stylish, surreal short cartoon

[7/10 · 20 April 2005]

Stylish and surreal early 1960s British cartoon, produced by Halas and Batchelor, depicting the unstoppable rise of the motor car.

Synopsis: Once there was a time when car owners actually drove their motors from A to B - on roads! Can you believe that? And it was even a pleasant experience! Now, though, in the year 2000, since the roads are so crowded, people cannot move anyplace so they live in their cars full time. Mother does the knitting; Father watches TV; the kiddies are tucked up in bed, all inside the family car. Cars are so plentiful that they are piled up on top of each other, reaching high into the sky. Eventually the ultimate vehicle is produced: a car that can reproduce itself, and that can eat other cars - not to mention the scientists who created it. Shame about the gridlock though.

With drawings very much in the style of the time (pointy heads; distorted perspective; bright angular backgrounds - remember those early Pink Panther cartoons?) this is an excellent period cartoon, and deservedly a multiple award-winner. Watch out for it at animation festivals.

Little Britain (2003–2006)

The funniest thing on UK TV right now

[18 April 2005]

"Little Britain" is a surreal sketch show that started out on BBC Radio in 2001, then transferred to BBC TV in 2003. There have so far been two series, with a third currently in production. The second set of shows aired in late 2004 and brought it away from the gaze of cult viewers and into the British TV mainstream. The result was the funniest thing on UK television by some degree.

The combination of actors Matt Lucas and David Walliams' gallery of characters each more grotesque than the last, and Tom Baker's inspired OTT narration, and the high production values, make for essential viewing. If you have the right sense of humour, you'll be on the floor throughout. Watch the show and marvel from where Lucas and Walliams get their ideas. Wince and wonder how they get away with it (a lot of the show is quite close to the mark and would presumably need serious re-cutting for the US). Above all, hope that they don't end up flogging it to death (see: Absolutely Fabulous).

It's top notch stuff. Essential viewing, and very very Britain.

End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones (2003)

History of the Ramones - essential for fans

[7/10 · 18 March 2005]

This documentary charts the history of the Ramones from "hey let's form a band" afternoons in early '70s Queens; through the nascent NY Punk scene; the deal with Sire; the sellout trips to London; the knockout first few albums; the strange encounters with bigshot LA producers; the inter-band falling-outs; the lack of chart success and then... well from watching this film it sounds like the workaday treadmill kicked in for some fifteen years thereafter. Eventually the band did call it a day, but not until having gotten wholly frazzled in the process.

Each Ramone is interviewed at length, and reveals himself to be a different character: there's Joey (the geeky, shy one); Johnny (the tyrannical one); DeeDee (the dumb one) and Tommy (the one who got out early). Or something like that. And there's Marky (the one who appears to have had loads of pl**t*c su*g*ry) plus lots of great archive and interviews with other punk era musicians, making this essential viewing for Ramones fans (myself included) and hopefully a good introduction for newbies. Hey ho, let's Gooooooo!

Red Hot Riding Hood (1943)

Genius - they certainly don't make'em like this any more

[10/10 · 4 March 2005]

Nope - they sure don't make'em like this any more. But modern-day animators working on pixillated mega-productions owe Tex Avery and his "Termite Terrace" co-workers a large debt. Rather than retell The Avery story (there are several books around that will do that), just look out for his classic MGM cartoons of the '40s and '50s, and marvel at the genius on show. "Red Hot Riding Hood" is one of his best and was the first in the "Red" series. It's an out-and-out classic, with a plot loosely based on the children's fairy tale playing second fiddle to beautifully drawn and animated scenes and some fantastic big-band music. The visual pacing in this toon is so fast that if you blink you'll miss another screwball gag. Look for it on TV (yes it does still get shown, in the UK at least) or even better, go see it at the movies. Great stuff and I never tire of it.

Coffee and Cigarettes (2003)

Good soundtrack and nice looking images, but not much else

[5/10 · 24 January 2005]

"Coffee and Cigarettes" is a series of a dozen or so vignettes of varying length, spliced together to form one whole movie. The plot, such as it is, involves various characters of varying likability holding conversations in various locations over, you guessed it, exactly those two stimulants. Might sound vague, but er, that's about it. As might be expected, some of the sequences work better than others. Some are quirky and interesting (Iggy Pop and Tom Waits as two prickly rock stars; Cate Blanchett playing two sparring cousins, with a body double and lots of over-the-shoulder shots) and some are just plain annoying (Bill Murray and two rappers = bathroom break for me and quite a few others in the auditorium).

The film is shot in high contrast black-and-white and uses consistently interesting locations throughout, plus there is great music playing in the background of each sequence; this means you can just enjoy looking at this film even if you're not really following the rambling dialogue. And you can stay for the credits and wonder how come so many people worked on the project when there's not really a whole lot to show for their efforts. Worth seeing, but probably not so interesting on DVD as on the big screen, and if you're expecting plot line or action, or even some laughs, you'll be disappointed.

Pi (1998)

Avoid

[1/10 · 21 January 2005]

PI is one of the few movies where I have walked out in boredom part-way thru the showing. Tempted in by a glowing review, citing the film as something approaching classic perplexing art-house, I suspected after the first five minutes that the reviewer must have been mistaken. Or was on the production crew! Honestly, I've patience for and interest in art-house when it's done well, but in my opinion this film really doesn't even begin to cut it. This movie is ninety odd minutes of rambling, aimless doodle. It doesn't even get by on the fact that it's shot on grainy 16mm Tri-X film. Quite how it ever got financed boggles my imagination. Embarrassingly bad. Definitely not recommended. Avoid.