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minionking777
Reviews
Fresh (2022)
Oogie, but good.
I only gave this movie nine stars out of ten because I had to dock one star for the awful possibility that it might be true to life. It gave me a really oogie feeling in a really bad way. That said, it was a really good movie. Don't turn it off halfway unless you want to feel bad. It's worth watching all the way through. But oh my goodness, please oh please don't let something like this exist in the world. I know that it probably does, if not worse, but that's the only problem I have with movies like this. It's much preferable for horror movies to be kind of surreal as opposed to the ultra realistic kind that will disturb my thoughts as I try to go to sleep. I do recommend watching it, though. Prepare to feel two ways about this one.
The Hunted (2013)
Only mildly better than Skinamarink
It's about nothing. Nothing happens. I say it's better than the movie Skinamarink only because it has dialogue and faces. It was more fun to make fun of this movie while watching it. I guess the maximum amount of story you're going to get is from when some side character lore-dumps some murder homicide folklore. As for scares, it was evident in two places that a jump scare was intended, but it didn't work. I was already so bored that a real life home invasion by Cthulhu monsters wouldn't upset me. The main character is kinda hot, but that's the most positive thing I can say. Definitely one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Basically a two sentence horror story stretched out for an eternity. Booooooo.
Doll Factory (2014)
This is a gem!
I love goofy horror B movies! This one was very well done. The effects were great, the acting was realistic, and I laughed my ass off the whole time! It's so over the top and wild the whole way through! You will not be bored. I'm definitely watching this one again. It has instantly become one of my favorites. It's so stupid, and I love it!!! My low expectations were blown entirely away. I can't believe how fun this was to watch. Don't hesitate. Just watch. It's totally worth it! Also, I love the design of the dolls. They're grotesque and cute and creepy and so little! And omg the scene with the stoners had me rolling!
Amityville Death Toilet (2023)
D minus. Didn't hate it, but omg.
This was 5 minutes of content stretched out over an hour. There were like 3 actors, a few wacky nonsense things, and the whole thing felt like it was shot on a whim with a phone. This must have been like a 24-hour-make-a-horror-movie-challenge or something. Or a movie made by 12-year-olds with help from their dads. I wouldn't recommend this movie, but I would challenge anyone to watch it! If you enjoy absolutely intentionally awful sub indie horroresque video rambles, then this is for you. It will test your fortitude! Good luck, and may every deity have mercy on your soul. I literally had to take Tylenol after watching this.
Balada triste de trompeta (2010)
¿Wut?
I don't know what I just watched. It was very weird. I can't determine if this film had a plot or even a point. I like scary clowns, so I gave it a shot. Now I don't know what to think. It was just weird and pointless.
Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain (1998)
Hilarious!
I never knew this existed! The dynamic between the three main characters is hilarious! Brain's caustic wit is the best part. Pinky's on-the-money random references are delightfully absurd, as usual. Elmyra adds a layer of wild calamity that gives the mice a lot to work with. Zingers and chaos!
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
Delightfully Dumb!
There's nothing quite like this movie. If you want to see an A lister silently plow through a B horror plot, look no further! Great movie to have on while doing other things. Fun and dumb. Literally dumb 🤣
A Year from Now (2021)
Cute and good little indie movie.
This movie has very relatable characters and a story with a unique twist. The acting is acceptable. Good music. Worth a watch. Definitely a Netflix and chill movie.
Gutfeld! (2021)
Painfully lame.
I'm all over the place politically. I thought conservatives might be able to put forth a Stephen Colbert or John Stewart kind of show because there's plenty of crazy to poke fun at all around. But Gutfeld is not only dark-hearted and unfunny, the show is CRINGEY. Progressives make fun of other progressives and conservatives all the time in cutting, hilarious ways. Why can't conservatives do the same? It's just brimming with anger and hate, which leaves no room for comedy.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
This should've been an email.
Have you ever seen a series and thought, "This should've been an email."? It's so dour and slow and dull!!! Star Trek in name alone. I'm on episode 3 and I've had enough! I have binged everything in release order up to this point, but I think I may skip this one. It's almost noncanonical in how non Star Trek it is. Great effects, cinematography, and I guess acting, but it's written as if there's a writers' strike. Everything is boring. There are no interesting characters. There's no joy or light at all. Gloomy moody plop.
Mermaid Down (2019)
Low budget, but original and fascinating!
Sure, the budget is obviously low, but considering that, this movie grasped firmly beyond its reach! The concept is unlike anything else. Yes, everything feels kind of choppy and rushed at times, but like I said, low budget. The story is like a modern day dark and grim fairytale. I went into it not expecting much, so I was delightfully surprised at how interesting this little movie was. Never have I seen a psychological-horror-pseudo-slasher-fairytale! If you're tired of the same old recycled garbage, give this movie a shot!
Schitt$ Creek (2015)
I laughed, I cried, I love this show!
I'm not normally a gooey, emotional person, but this show is so well written and so well executed that I'm sure anyone that gives it a try will fall in love!
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
This should've been an email.
Have you ever seen a series and thought, "This should've been an email."? It's so dour and slow and dull!!! Star Trek in name alone. I'm on episode 3 and I've had enough! I have binged everything in release order up to this point, but I think I may skip this one. It's almost noncanonical in how non Star Trek it is. Great effects, cinematography, and I guess acting, but it's written as if there's a writers' strike. Everything is boring. There are no interesting characters. There's no joy or light at all. Gloomy moody plop.
Enterprise: Cogenitor (2003)
Justifying slavery.
This episode is gross. Basically, they justified turning a blind eye to slavery in the name of cultural respect. Just yuck. Trip was right to do what he did. He gave that person more life in one day that it would've gotten in a lifetime. That species got what it deserved and now it has a lot to think about.
And to everyone justifying the cogenitors's forced complacency... imagine that they were all black. Then justify it.
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018)
Started great. Ended woke...
This show becomes so ultra fakey woke that it's almost a parody of wokesters. It started off really spooky and empowering for females, but spiraled into really cheesy pandering.
Animaniacs (2020)
Wild as Hell and totally off the chain!
The sneaky adult humor is better than ever! I have died laughing so many times!!! Even the plainly stupid things are hilarious! This is what 2020 needed!
Knock Knock (2015)
Pointless sadism.
Skip this movie. It's just awful. There's nothing of value. You won't enjoy it.
Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (2018)
Betrayal of the series. -1⭐
On top of being plainly dumb and in-your-face anti-semitic, this movie is entirely unfaithful to the franchise. It butchers the story, changes the mood from macabre to silly, and will be a severe letdown to anyone expecting a legitimate Puppet Master reboot. Just don't bother with this one. It sucks.
Mignonnes (2020)
Today's version of "Kids"
This movie is an honest slice of life with a compelling story. Don't listen to all the virtue signalling reviews. The girls in it always have more clothing than people on the beach. And yes, they do some adult dance moves that are intentionally OMG inducing moments. But still, they're just dance moves. It's actually quite hilarious to see preadolescent girls trying to be adult because it's absurd looking! And that's the point. People who are just starting to grow into adults sometimes try too hard, especially when a difficult home life or other personal struggles are involved.
Clearly, all the actors and their parents and the producers were comfortable with and adult enough to handle the production of this movie. Nobody else gets to speak on their behalf. The acting skill that every single character had firmly implies their level of professionalism.
In all, this was a good movie with a story worth telling in an honest way.
Freaks (2018)
More more MORE!!!
A much better version of a different set of movies! I don't wanna give anything away, just watch and you'll know what I mean!!! Truly a hidden gem!!!
Delirium (2018)
The pinnacle of the genre. Gleaming gem.
Intense, scary, horrifying, traumatizing. Unpredictable. Crazy.
Just holy crap. The description can't do justice. I went in thinking it would be a generic horror movie about a crazy person second guessing his eyes while spookums creeped around. This movie was so much more. My brain just exploded after watching it. I can't even call it a movie. It was a film. This might be the only Oscar-worthy horror film. It had plenty of meaningful things to say, which it did masterfully. Stop reading this and go watch it already!
Dark (2017)
Heavy handed, yet BORING!!!
I have very low standards, yet even this is insanely boring. I'm only on episode five, yet I felt compelled to express my unbridled feeling of torture. Nothing ever happens ever. Everything is so drawn out! I'm trying my best to see what everyone else sees in this show, but it's just so dull and boring! You could start watching at any point and haven't missed a thing! I'm nearly convinced that whatever "mind bending" conclusion this show draws is merely rehashed drivel. Not only that, there are like, a million identical characters! Game of thrones was easier to follow. I feel the need to smoke weed just to consider this show mildly interesting. It's as if a good musician made moody music and needed a generic show to fill in the blanks. OMG I hate it. I'm gonna keep watching, and I'll write a better review if my mind changes, but oh my god this show is the most boring, dreary crap I've ever seen. I'm losing my mind trying to power through this show. Someone kill me.
Siren (2016)
Hidden Gem
Super original. Quality production. Loved it. Relief from the same old common horror movie.
February (2015)
That was kind of dumb.
Everything was well acted and well shot, which is why I gave it a 6. However, I was left wondering what the point was. The whole movie was incredibly boring. Even the crazy parts were dull. It wasn't scary at all, or even tense. None of the concepts were mind blowing or original. There was no point to make. The story itself leaves a lot of unanswered questions that aren't even worth delving into anyway because none of it is very interesting. It's not a terrible movie, but just don't expect a whole lot of substance or clarity.
Don't Knock Twice (2016)
Don't listen to the haters.
This movie is spooky, scary, twisty, and engrossing. All the actors are believable. The effects are on point. The story is original. Definitely watch this one!