Change Your Image
Biffe
Reviews
Licence to Kill (1989)
Dalton and Glen took Bond to the next level!
This has always been my favorite of "the old"Bond-movies, with The Living Daylights not far behind.
License To Kill has everything a Bond movie should have. Incredible action-scenes, beautiful locations, brilliant score and excellent Bond-women.
The gadgets are within a believable limit. No "taking over the world"-nonsense. Minimal snobby and flat humor. No silly kids violence. Just raw action and the first sign of believable humanity from Bond since 1962. Finally the PG13 took a hike.
The Connery movies are ok for their time, but the Moore-movies has aged into being more of a line-up of parodies for others than 40-50 year old fanboys.
License to kill lifted Bond back to an adult level and broke all the rules from a line up of old fashion and outdated Bond-movies.
Goldeneye did a descent follow-up, but after that it went completely downhill until they rescued it all with Craig and a reboot.
In other words, License to kill and The living Daylights started and ended something in the Bond-universe that it took 17 years to get back with Casino Royale. Imagine what several Glen and Dalton-movies could have done instead of turning back to the old snobby, over the top-Bond again with Brosnan.
After the reboot I just cant look at the older Bond-movies anymore, except The Living Daylights and mostly License To Kill. That tells me that they stand the test of time. The rest do not, sadly.
This is simply Bond at its best from the original franchise. After this movie, they had to start all over to rescue James Bond from being a disgrace with Die Another Day as the final nail in the coffin.
If you are new to Bond, you should start with Casino Royal and follow all the the reboots to get the insight and since they are all connected. Then enjoy The Living Daylights (even if its somewhat a of an 80's flick and a little "old Bond") and then enjoy all of License to kill and most of Goldeneye. Then you can give the first 4 Connery-movies a go. Stop after that!
You will then discover that License To Kill is timeless and a brilliant stand-alone action-movie that can be watched over and over. Not many other Bond-movies are...
That '90s Show (2023)
Failed remake og failed sequel?
They simply used the 90's as an excuse to try and remake the 70's show, but the original show is over and this show has hardly anything to do with the 90's, so it kinda fails on both parts...
Its a shame, cause it had a lot of potensial and a really special decade to pick tons of material from, but essential elements from the 90's are mostly missing throughout every episode.
Instead they constantly bring back one or two characters from the old cast and recycle old jokes to try and keep «the 70's spirit alive». Sadly is does not work.
Its like they could not decide what this show is supposed to be about, and weither to continue the story in a new decade, or try to do the impossible and remake the old show all over again...
On the Doll (2007)
This movie is really good!
I saw this movie without any expectations that it would be very good. I had not heard anything about it and it looked like a B-movie from the horror-genre. I was very surprised over how engaging it was and what a good job the director/writer had done. It captured me right away and I watched through it with a growing admiration for the story and the characters. The editing is also very good and the score is also well done.
We see three different stories from the sex-industry that have something in common based on an unusual twist. We follow the main characters rather depressing life and their struggle to get something positive out of their situation. The story, which can be a bit confusing at first, clears up in the end with a surprising and moving climax.
Too me, this movie tells something about how sometimes, when we think we can fix anything, you have to take a closer look to see that it is lost no matter what you do and that some souls are destined to go under as a consequence of the path their life has taken...
This is a capturing drama from a part of our society that we see everyday, but don't want to know about...
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
Finally! It was about time!
This time the PG13-crew took a break and let the real film-makers do they thing! This movie is exactly what Alien and Predator is all about! These species don't care about the fragile minds of conservative Americans, neither do they care if you are 2 years old or 80 years of age. They don't care if you are pregnant and they don't care if you are pretty, blond and have a nice butt! The point is that we don't matter in this fight and neither does all the laws of the big movie-companies and the ratings that makes sure that little kids should be able to watch a movie which is clearly not meant for them.
Many have said that this movie is predictable. They are wrong! This movie obeys the laws of the Aliens and the Predators, not the laws of sequels and money-hungry directors. All the people you think will make it so "the boy can get the girl" and the big, tough GI-Joe can save the day, dies! They are worthless in this fight and so are the rest of humanity. Let's face it: This is exactly how it would go down if this were to happen in real life.In a "man to monster" fight, we are a pathetic species compared to these creatures and that is all this movie is about. This movie is not about movie-stars or "we are the world", neither does the "home of the brave" save the world as they always do. We are just little ants in they way of a stronger race and they step on us if we get in their path. Finally! This time they stick to the story, not the boastful egos of those who are watching and wait for Captein America to come and save the day.
Humans do not matter here, unlike the terrible and ridiculous ending of AVP, where a human is respected by the Predators for being "brave". Let's face it, we are very insignificant in the bigger picture, all though many people don't like do admit it. This movie has very few, if not zero, clichés and all the standard BS that these movies usually contain, is taken away, probably just to make a point about the fact that Hollywood need to start taking the Alien/Predator-audience serious. That does not mean that this movie is worthy of an Oscar or should be placed on the same level of film-making as Lord of The Rings and The Godfather. It just means that this sequel is very good as a Sci-fi/Predator/Alien-movie and that the director take the genre and the fans serious when it comes to what the audience want and expect. Movies like this will never be taken serious on an academic level and many people will probably laugh at my attempt to do so, but the fact is that these movies deserves just as much to be in the "movie-universe" as any other films and when I decide to see one (since I like these movies), I expect the director to not waist my time.
So, I am not comparing AVPR to LOTR, I am comparing AVPR to every other movie in this genre and there are rules to be followed and a limit to how ridiculous even a Sci-fi movie can get. This movie on the other hand, stays within these limits and they simply put Aliens and a Predator on earth in a populated town, let them do their thing and hell breaks loose! Nothing more or nothing less! This movie is made for those who want to watch Alien vs Predator, not those who want to see an educational and romantic movie with a moral and a happy ending that stays within the taboos of our society. Let's face it, people: Aliens and Predators do not care for many peoples frail needs and dependence of government censorship. These monsters do what they do, no matter what you think of it.
So... let me tell you, if the fundamentaly raw and violent world of Alien Vs Predator is what you want, then that is exactly what you will get! If you don't like that, stay at home and do something else. Enjoy!
Hack! (2007)
Slasher horror-movie with terrible humor and acting!
This is the weirdest and most pointless slasher-movie I have ever seen! The problem is that I'm not quite sure why I am so upset about it. It has some form of storyline, but it is totally predictable and there are very few surprises. I don't know if the audience is supposed to understand everything long before it is revealed or if the story is just thin or non-existing.
My opinion is that its supposed to make fun of all the horror-movie clichés and guide us step by step through every one of them. The problem is that people are fed up with clichés and therefor there is no point of packing a movie full of it and expect people to be entertained, just by pointing out at the end that "Yes, this movie is about a movie that is full of clichés"...! On top of that, it is done with so little grace and charm, that it's just bad taste (and not in a good horror-movie kinda way).
This movie is supposed to be scary, it's not at all! You know why? It's full of clichés! It is supposed to be funny, it's not at all? You know why? Because the dialog is terrible and boring, because, well... it's full of clichés! I smiled ONE time from all the "funny" lines in the movie and that was from the "we're gonna need a bigger boat"-joke. The acting is by far the worst I have seen in a long time and that is probably also because it is supposed to be that way, since it is a cliché in horror movies... The editing is done by an amateur and the score is also pretty bad.
So... what do we have? A movie that's supposed to entertain people with clichés! Sounds fun? It's not! The first Scream-movie did it, because it was the first one, but to do so, you have to have a good script, timing, charm, good actors (that can actually play "bad-acting"), a good director and a final twist that gives all the clichés you have been watching a purpose.
This movie has neither! It just makes you wait and wait for that "final climax", but it never appears...
It is just poorly written and pointless! People avoid movies that are full of clichés, bad acting, bad story and bad violence, so why make us sit through 90 minutes of it for no reason? All though, if you have read this BEFORE you see the movie, you may not have to!
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Well... I don't really know what to say...
This movie was something I was really looking forward to! I, like everyone else, had heard about it and I joined the hype and thought that this would be great! I was wrong!
This movie is totally crap! Everything about this movie is bad! The story, the acting, the plot and most of all, the effects! The snakes looks like they have escaped from a cartoon-movie! Even the plane looks fake!
This is just a proof that when many people gather up and make something really special and amazing, even before they know what they are really talking about, their believes and commitment to it, is so strong that no one is really seeing it for what it is: Absolutely NOTHING!
Who wants to be the one to say that something is bad, when several million people are shouting out how great it is! Well... I will! Not that anyone, who is caught up in this hype, will listen, since everybody have to say that this movie is great, just to defend the fact that they have praised it before they have even seen it! That would just prove the fact that the media and the internet have a strong hold on them!
For those who still have a mind of their own: This movie is a waste of time! It really sucks and this review comes from a person who loves this kind of movies! I don't always need a great story and super effects, but I do have standards! This movie does not reach up to one of those standards!
STAY AWAY FROM THIS CRAP! This is a hype that is based on something that has NOTHING to do with the movie itself, except from the title: "SNAKES ON A PLANE"!
Just listen to the title! Does it not speak for itself? Does it sound like a good movie?
Beneath Still Waters (2005)
I am just confused!
The reason I am saying this, is simply because I don't understand the thought and the planing behind this movie.
The story is really thin! The acting is horrible! The monsters are just plain stupid! This would be, to keep it short, a really bad movie, but..., (and this is what makes me confused) the effects are not that bad! The score is also quite good and the directing is not to bad either! Maybe the negative aspects of the movie, makes the positive ones seem REALLY good and vice versa, but there was something that kept me watching this film.
I thought that it had to be some professional and experienced people that where part of the team behind this movie, since the sound, the directing and the effects where above average, but why would these people accept such terrible acting and bad storyline? I hoped that they just had to have taken some action and made a difference sooner or later before the movie ended! Something had to come up, that would make this movie worth watching before the end credits started! The movie just kept going and finally it ended!
Nothing, of what I thought would happen, happened! This movie SUCKED and all I can think about afterwords is how some aspects of this movie where really good and some where terrible?!? Why not pay to get better actors and a better story and rather cut the budget a little on the effects and the score? That would have made this movie at least average, instead of "rock bottom"! Or, to put it this way, how can a director that can direct and a good special effects team, settle for all this other crap that this movie contains? Did they not see it?
If everything in this movie was bad, I would understand, that would make sense, but this mix of top and bottom, I do not understand! Let this director, this composer and this special effects -team make a movie another time and hire new people fill in the rest of the staff! Then maybe, just maybe, they can make a movie that don't waste 92 min. of my life!
Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)
This movie will only make you mad and embarrassed!
All the previous Police Academy -movies have all had some kind of "event" or comic episode that they will be remembered for. Police Academy 7 does NOT! This movie is the "Disney-version" of the PA -movies! It contains so many cheap jokes and such bad acting, that only VERY young kids will let this movie get away with it! The humor is on a "clown-level" and contains mostly people slipping, falling and trying to make funny-faces...
The actors look like they have been asked to improvise and make stuff up as they go along and the script could not have been much longer then the movie-title itself...
They have only managed to get a hold of five of the original cast and only three of these five is the well known police Sargent's that we know from the previous films. As the movie goes along, it looks like they start to realize, along with us that are watching, what a mistake it was to "act" in this movie and that this will probably be the last PA-movie in a long time!
How they got Christopher Lee and Ron Pearlman to act in this mess, I will never understand!
Biffe, Norway