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elite_jon
Reviews
Vinland Saga: Freedom (2023)
Time stopped again
As in we're right back to a very slow build-up. I don't understand. This anime does so well sometimes by explaining backstory as the action is happening, but this season has been an incredibly long torture of waiting for something interesting to happen.
I actually enjoy dramas a lot, so I don't know if I'm maybe mostly disappointed by an expectation that the anime would stay consistent to its original genre. The dialogue is so pretentious I feel poisoned. Vinland saga really has no shame. Felt really hopeful by the threat of Canute's army coming, but this constant exposition is slowly killing me.
I wish dearly in my heart that mappa removes the long pauses in dialogue or shortens it down.
Just please. Stop. I know you can make good episodes. I've seen you do it before.
Dexter: New Blood: Sins of the Father (2022)
Dexter broke character
Dexter would've NEVER killed an officer. Even if he would he would have to be in an extremely hard situation, like caught red-handed. Angela arrests Dexter on extremely low probability of guilt. Extreme lack of evidence for Matt Caldwell-killing, and really no evidence for being the bay harbour-butcher seeming as there is no evidence of Dexter using ketamine and there was large amount of evidence incriminating Sergeant James Doakes. If he lawyered up he'd be out of his arrest in a matter of days. The incompetent writers have him KILL AN OFFICER??? He lets Harrison shoot him? Dexter as a character would also not be as delusional towards Harrison thinking he is "just like him".
Just terrible.
I was okay with lumberjack-ending of the main series. This ending comitts the worse crime of rewriting characters.
Also when Dexter has "flashbacks" to people that are dead because of him, Lundy was very much not Dexters fault at all. Dexter didn't pursue trinity until after Lundy's death. He could have done nothing to prevent it.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Wanted to like it, but the movie wanted me to hate it
A murderous sociopath on the spectrum chases the main character. The antagonist kills everyone he works with for no reason at all, ergo he cares for absolutely nothing except the chase in and of itself, and killing annoying people that he dislikes for being nice or for being in his way. I see nothing deep with his character, no menace, just a person that is so obsessed with his inner mental world, and the good reviews for this movie in turn obsess with him being mysterious and evil itself. To quote Woody Harrelson's character, he's just insane. No happy ending, no investment in any character expect for the main character that had an offscreen death. The chase scenes brought tension, and that was the only redeeming quality of this movie. I have no clue what Tommy lee Jones character's point was. A sad sheriff that felt unfullfilled at the end of his career and faces retirement? This movie was so shallow. I can see exactly everything they wanted to tell with this movie, and I wonder if the writers/directors have any clue to what the world is really like., and I'm saying that because it felt like they wanted to tell a "real" story, of how things don't turn out like they do in the movies. Some people will find this deep or enjoyable, but that leaves me wondering if those people watch too many movies to differentiate between what is real or not. In any case, you won't find a character like Anton in the real world, because after he pissed of the first gangster he'd never find work again or be shot. I don't buy that he shoots everyone he works with. I don't buy that the characters just finds eachother all the time without effort. This is a movie that I wish I let forever be buried in my to-watch-list so I wouldn't be disappointed like this. I wanted to like it, but this movie tried really hard for me to not like it.
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Immersion-breaking
Yes, it is a QT film so naturally it's not going to be true to history but I expected any form of realism in how the characters behaved in this alternate history fantasy film. I'll say that the actors played their characters very well. Christoph Waltz stole every scene he was a part of, Brad Pitt was humorous in his cartoonish role and Melanie Laurent conveyed her character's stress when faced with "Jew-Hunter".
However, the whole plot felt disconnected and I was disappointed in the script when the characters behaved so out of character in a number of ways. That Hans Landa trusts the Basterds, the squad/division known to be the least forgiving and most brutal to nazi's, to honor their deal seems like an incredibly dumb decision by a character that has been so meticulous thus far. That Aldo Raine would actually think that knowing a handful of words in italian and not even trying to hide his accent would pass him and his mates as italian. Furthermore that QT placed only two single guards to guard the fuhrer in the whole cinema. I am to accept that they wouldn't inspect the whole place multiple times and have guards stationed at every exit and soldiers placed outside? Ok Quentin.
I suppose I expected that this movie which single plotline is how to assassinate the top leaders of Germany would have a more rewarding climax than this. I'm just a consumer but I think that it would've been a more satisfying ending to have the basterds fail by having Hans Landa uncover their plot and sit back down in the theatre in time for Shosanna's reel to play and burn down the theatre with Landa, Hitler, Goebbels and the rest burn down thanks to Shosanna, and the Basterds playing a part in distracting Landa from uncovering Shosanna's plot. It would bring the movie full circle with having started at the farm and ending in her claiming revenge on both the man and the nazi leaders responsible for killing her family.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Had low expectations, still was bored to tears
Are you interested in seeing the flattest characters ever seen on screen drive very far one way and then drive all the way back while chased by people so obviously bad without redeeming qualities they could've referred to them as the bad guys and the big boss bad guy? Brought to you by oil. This is a post-apocalyptic setting where the most thriving community are the most shameless wasters of resources conceivable. Led by big boss bad that looks so terminally ill that if he sneezes he'd stroke. Begging the question, how does he manage to stay in charge?
I didn't know anything about the movie when we turned it on and I just assumed that it couldn't be rated higher than a 4. I was stumped to see that it is actually rated very highly. How this storyless, actionless, uninspired, glorified car chase could recieve an oscar for any category is beyond me.
Rick and Morty: Promortyus (2020)
Bored
I don't agree that the show has been declining, I love season 4 so far, but in my opinion just this episode was boring and predictable, the 9/11 joke made me laugh, but that was the only 5 seconds of the episode that I really enjoyed.
Chris D'Elia: No Pain (2020)
Disappointed
I don't know why he has this "in da hood" voice during his stand up relative to his podcast where he is more relaxed. I laughed at a few of his jokes but 40 minutes of the stand up fell flat for me. He is capable of writing fun jokes, I've seen it in earlier specials. Was hyped for this one, wanted to like it. Sadly disappointed.
Zero no tsukaima (2006)
Not terrible, but bad
It completely lacks story. A normal guy, a "plebian" becomes a witches pet, a "familiar". The plebian isn't really angry and doesn't react in any way a normal human might, doesn't question how he got into his situation and even though he is treated like a slave stays positive. The first episodes are basically only about teen drama and doesn't explain any of the actually interesting elements of the show.
David Cross: Making America Great Again (2016)
Poopy deuce
Crappy feces. Shitty droppings. That's my personal feelings regarding this comedy special. I can't respect a comedian the same way I can't respect a media outlet when they greatly alter the spectrum of the reality they show or tell to further their personal or political view. I laughed at a couple jokes right off the bat, and I am easily entertained. Bright to dark humor anything goes. Make fun of people you don't agree with. But don't lie like an elementary schooler about how mean your pal Billy was to your teacher just to get them to punish Billy.
David Cross went off on a rant about Trump but used really bad and unfactual arguments. I'm not american so I could care less about the political landscape over there, but I can't watch this, I literally felt the fun draining from my body and from his show as the rant went longer and more loosely and falsely based.