SCENE (Interor): The Tribeca loft offices of Robert DeNiro. PHILLIP, a NYU film student in $700 jeans, an ironic Hannah Montana t-shirt and wearing a telephone headset, prepares and serves espresso for DENIRO his boss, who is meeting with Ben STILLER. The two famous actors are plunged into deep, soft, leather sofas.
STILLER: Did you blow on my espresso?
PHILLIP: No sir.
STILLER: I need you to blow on my coffee... I don't like it hot.
PHILLIP: Sir?
DENIRO: Phillip, Mr Stiller would like you to cool is espresso.
PHILLIP: Really?
STILLER: No Phillip I'm just kidding.
DENIRO: But blow on it anyway.
STILLER: No, really don't. Okay. Once go ahead
(Phillip blows on coffee, and then talks into his phone headset)
PHILLIP: Okay, go...patch him through. (To DENIRO) Mr Hoffman is on the line.
DENIRO: Put him on the speaker, Phillip.
PHILLIP: Yes sir. (Phillip exits)
Actor DUSTIN Hoffman joins the conversation by phone. He's calling in from the beach in Malibu -- he's playing teatherball with a grandchild.
DUSTIN: Bobby!
DENIRO: Dusty!
DUSTIN: What is happening?
DENIRO: You'll never guess who's here.
DUSTIN: Who's there? Is it Marty?
STILLER: Hiya Dusty, it's me!
DUSTIN: Benjamin! Hello! This can only mean one thing...
DENIRO: Fockers!
STILLER: Fockers!
DUSTIN: Fockers!
ALL: Fockers!
DUSTIN: I'm in.
DENIRO & STILLER: He's in!
DUSTIN: Gimme what Babs is getting', and I'm in. What's Babs getting'?
DENIRO: Well Dust, she's getting five mil, two points, one day on set in Burbank and one day on location.
DUSTIN: Location?
STILLER: Chicago.
DUSTIN: Chicago? Ummm. Half day.
DENIRO: Sure half -
(A boisterous voice, off screen)
VOICE: Roberto!
DENIRO: My god, Dusty, guess who just walked in.
DUSTIN: No idea.
DENIRO: Harvey *bleeping* Keitel
DUSTIN: Does he want to be in a movie?
STILLER: You wanna be in a movie?
KEITEL: Sure. How much?
DENIRO: Howza a mil?
KEITEL: Sure, why not. How 'bout I get an espresso.
DENIRO: (Shouting) Phillip - get Mr Keitel a *bleeping* espresso.
STILLER: (Shouting) And blow on it.
DUSTIN: No doubt.
STILLER: Did you blow on my espresso?
PHILLIP: No sir.
STILLER: I need you to blow on my coffee... I don't like it hot.
PHILLIP: Sir?
DENIRO: Phillip, Mr Stiller would like you to cool is espresso.
PHILLIP: Really?
STILLER: No Phillip I'm just kidding.
DENIRO: But blow on it anyway.
STILLER: No, really don't. Okay. Once go ahead
(Phillip blows on coffee, and then talks into his phone headset)
PHILLIP: Okay, go...patch him through. (To DENIRO) Mr Hoffman is on the line.
DENIRO: Put him on the speaker, Phillip.
PHILLIP: Yes sir. (Phillip exits)
Actor DUSTIN Hoffman joins the conversation by phone. He's calling in from the beach in Malibu -- he's playing teatherball with a grandchild.
DUSTIN: Bobby!
DENIRO: Dusty!
DUSTIN: What is happening?
DENIRO: You'll never guess who's here.
DUSTIN: Who's there? Is it Marty?
STILLER: Hiya Dusty, it's me!
DUSTIN: Benjamin! Hello! This can only mean one thing...
DENIRO: Fockers!
STILLER: Fockers!
DUSTIN: Fockers!
ALL: Fockers!
DUSTIN: I'm in.
DENIRO & STILLER: He's in!
DUSTIN: Gimme what Babs is getting', and I'm in. What's Babs getting'?
DENIRO: Well Dust, she's getting five mil, two points, one day on set in Burbank and one day on location.
DUSTIN: Location?
STILLER: Chicago.
DUSTIN: Chicago? Ummm. Half day.
DENIRO: Sure half -
(A boisterous voice, off screen)
VOICE: Roberto!
DENIRO: My god, Dusty, guess who just walked in.
DUSTIN: No idea.
DENIRO: Harvey *bleeping* Keitel
DUSTIN: Does he want to be in a movie?
STILLER: You wanna be in a movie?
KEITEL: Sure. How much?
DENIRO: Howza a mil?
KEITEL: Sure, why not. How 'bout I get an espresso.
DENIRO: (Shouting) Phillip - get Mr Keitel a *bleeping* espresso.
STILLER: (Shouting) And blow on it.
DUSTIN: No doubt.
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