69/100
!!! Just realized I was directed by Todd Haynes in Dark Waters! Lol that's insane. He personally told me I was doing a great job in my stand alone scene. I was eating cold ass fries, walking down the street. Cut my scene though, so that's cool 😅 My mom's still in it though in the background when car is driving down road.
Really uncomfortable, disturbing, & quite frankly disgusting. But ig that was the point. Also made me angry that women rapists still get to live semi-"normal" lives, only in prison for a decade or so, and can even profit off their crimes. DISGUSTING.
But ima go ahead and assume this hits me harder bc I'm a male victim of sexual assault from an older female too. Not like in this movie but it resonates nonetheless.
But the performances were top notch from the 3 main leads. Especially Natalie Portman and Charles Melton. Which his performance, and the reviews about his performance has even raised an awareness in myself that I probably wouldn't have thought on my own. He still has a child-like innocence to when the abuse happened to him, and I see certain aspects of that in my own life, as I was about 8 when it first happened to me, up until like mid-teens.. And was also in his boat where I thought I was "in control"; that I could give consent and "wanted it". It makes me sick thinking about it and the conflicting feelings from those thoughts. But yeah, his performance seems to be spot on.
And the campiness is only there to add to the discomfort. It's purposefully added, bc you know deep down a movie with this sort of story shouldn't have that effect or feeling. And at the start of the film it's fine, until the big reveal and all of a sudden you subconsciously think back on it and it turns your stomach. Actually, sorta like how I think back on when I was abused. Okay, so this film also seems to be a reflection on any victims. For us to better understand what happened to us and to better understand our selves.
So maybe instead of a 66/100, I give it a 69, for being a sort of therapy after the fact.
Really uncomfortable, disturbing, & quite frankly disgusting. But ig that was the point. Also made me angry that women rapists still get to live semi-"normal" lives, only in prison for a decade or so, and can even profit off their crimes. DISGUSTING.
But ima go ahead and assume this hits me harder bc I'm a male victim of sexual assault from an older female too. Not like in this movie but it resonates nonetheless.
But the performances were top notch from the 3 main leads. Especially Natalie Portman and Charles Melton. Which his performance, and the reviews about his performance has even raised an awareness in myself that I probably wouldn't have thought on my own. He still has a child-like innocence to when the abuse happened to him, and I see certain aspects of that in my own life, as I was about 8 when it first happened to me, up until like mid-teens.. And was also in his boat where I thought I was "in control"; that I could give consent and "wanted it". It makes me sick thinking about it and the conflicting feelings from those thoughts. But yeah, his performance seems to be spot on.
And the campiness is only there to add to the discomfort. It's purposefully added, bc you know deep down a movie with this sort of story shouldn't have that effect or feeling. And at the start of the film it's fine, until the big reveal and all of a sudden you subconsciously think back on it and it turns your stomach. Actually, sorta like how I think back on when I was abused. Okay, so this film also seems to be a reflection on any victims. For us to better understand what happened to us and to better understand our selves.
So maybe instead of a 66/100, I give it a 69, for being a sort of therapy after the fact.
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