KingAwesome Reviews

Where the Buffalo Roam (1980)

A cartoonish, idiotic romp that does Thompson's genius no justice

[4/10 · 11 November 2006]

As a massive fan of Hunter S. Thompson (I don't exaggerate when I say the man is my hero), a heavy reader of his books and articles, and a Gilliam fanboy who's seen "Fear and Loathing" approximately 700 times, I was like a kid on Christmas when I found out that there's ANOTHER movie about Dr. Gonzo starring Bill Murray, one of my favorite actors. Little did I know the disappointment I was in for.

While Bill Murray, despite not resembling HST in the least, had his mannerisms down pat in this role, this film completely mangled Thompson's character. "Where the Buffalo Roam" portrays him as a rebel only in the shallowest sense, reminiscent more of an Animal House fratboy than an American outlaw as he tours the nation, freaking out the squares and starting parties everywhere he goes. The film touches on actual issues such as the War on Drugs only to create the illusion of some counter-culture message, but it never actually quotes any of Dr. Thompson's biting insight on the era portrayed in the film.

I could also cite how Peter Boyle was entirely wrong for the character he was playing and a number of other issues I had with this movie, but in a nutshell, the most glaring problem with "Where the Buffalo Roam" is that it takes some of Hunter S. Thompson's best and most insightful journalism, dumbs it down, and condenses it into a cockeyed, silly package that retains none of the power or message of its source material. This is the equivalent of Gonzo babyfood, good for a couple chuckles but little more. Stick with "Fear and Loathing" for your HST dose in film, Depp portrays a better Thompson, Del Toro is an infinitely better Zeta Acosta, and Gilliam as a directer just plain "gets it."

The Notebook (2004)

Exploitive, vapid, and absurd - tantamount to pornography

[1/10 · 22 October 2006]

Like many guys, I was roped into watching this film by my girlfriend, and while I was expecting a chick flick that I would not enjoy but that would likely get me laid, nothing could have prepared me for the tidal wave of bullshit I was in for. "The Notebook" is one of the most unimaginitive, exploitive films I have ever seen, and Nicholas Sparks should be curbstomped for every hour he spent churning out this garbage.

Let's start with the positives. Cinematography was inoffensive and fellas, if you watch this with your special lady, you're almost sure to get laid.

And now on to the negatives. "The Notebook," while masquerading as a love story, in fact, has no story at all. The plot is barely existent, the characters are one-dimensional at best and impossible to like beyond a superficial level, and the storyline is shallower than a children's inflatable pool, existing solely to pimp Sparks's Easy-Bake, feel-good concept of romance. While most "chick-flicks" do their best to create likable characters, humorous situations, and some sort of conflict, "The Notebook" is content to instead show only a slideshow reel of Kodak moments, an abstract representation of our fast-food, home shopping network society's ideal of romance.

"The Notebook" is exploitive on every single level. In some ways, the film is worse than pornography, the way it masks its sleazy, purely commercial motivation under the guise of presenting a "love" story. In pornography, plot exists solely as a device to get from point A (the film's exposition), to point B (the sex) as quickly as possible. "The Notebook" uses a similar formula, but instead of graphic sex and nudity, this film's golden calf is a perfect, simplistic romance that faces conflict and challenge on the most superficial level possible. There's a massive section of the movie that contains little aside from the couple kissing each other in a variety of settings, all leading up to their first time sleeping together, which is, of course, perfect, just like everything else in this perfect, vacuous storyline.

I could go on and on, but I'm only allowed 1,000 words in this particular review. "The Notebook" is a shallow, simplistic, and wholly idiotic view of romance that seems to exist solely to make girls horny, a goal which it achieves remarkably. That being said, the film has no value on any real artistic level, be it storytelling, character development, or even simply on the level of pure entertainment. The entire film plays out like a slideshow you might play at your wedding - highlighting all the good times and ignoring anything that might make it remotely interesting. Everyone involved in the making of this film should feel dirty, especially the film-maker himself, who almost completely destroys the pre-eminence of the Cassavettes name in this one effort.

Cube (1997)

An Indie Flick for Rod Serling Geeks

[6/10 · 27 November 2005]

Cube is what Saw would have been if it took place in a series of interconnected, incrementally rotating cubes and tried a little too hard to be The Twilight Zone. This film had an interesting idea behind it and it pulled off many things very well, but there were points in this claustrophobic sci-fi thriller where the film's shortcomings were glaringly obvious.

Now any film buff has to respect the indie cred of a director who shoots an entire movie in a 14'x14'x14' enclosure, and set design was definitely one of Cube's strong suits; the set was convincing and slick, plus the many multi-colored chambers (particularly the red ones) all elicited the desired effect from the audience, making effective cinematography a snap.

However, one of the biggest problems with this movie was caused by the above limitations. In a film like this, back story is very important for character development, and when it comes to back story, it's ALWAYS better to "show" rather than tell. Flashbacks are much more effective than dialog in these kinds of instances, and it would have made more sense to "show" in this case, rather than having Doctor Holloway make extraordinarily accurate logic leaps on the characters of others throughout the film. As an aside, what kind of doctor was she supposed to be, anyway? Also, aside from Worth, whose character was superb, a fair portion of this film's dialog (particularly Quentin's) was laughable. My favorites were Holloway's "GET OFF HIM YOU NAZI!" and Quentin's vague, bizarre monologue about "slipping {Leaven} in the lock." The mathematics in this film were also extremely careless at many points, and from my experience with people who've seen this movie, that's a detail that either really bothers you or it doesn't at all.

My biggest quarrel with this film was the total lack of any explanation at all to the plot. How did they get in the cube? Why were they put there? Where is the cube located? Who built it? Why? None of these questions were answered, and although that may be fine for many viewers, it wasn't for me. In the best sci-fi movies, the writers always do their best to make things at least sort of make logical sense, but no such luck here.

All in all, it really depends what you look for in a movie. Cube was an above-average indie flick that remained entertaining in a cramped environment that would have grown tedious in the hands of many directors. It was effectively suspenseful and creepy, although the character studies and psychological elements largely fell short. If you're a fan of science fiction and suspense and you'll accept psychology that isn't quite Hitchcockian, then I recommend renting Cube, because you will enjoy. If none of the above are your thing or you're a nitpicky math person, avoid this one and rent Lifeboat instead.

I Heart Huckabees (2004)

Hilarious and Intriguing

[9/10 · 9 April 2005]

I went into I Heart Huckabees without any prior knowledge of the plot, the style of the movie, or even the genre, and I came out unbelievably impressed.

Everything in this movie works, from an awesome cast (Jason Schwartzman is the MAN) to a brilliantly-written script, there isn't a thing about "Huckabees" that I would change if I could. Jude Law is fantastic as the shallow, self-involved, rising business star, and Mark Wahlberg turns in an excellent performance as a goofy, confused fireman who can't understand what's wrong with his life.

I Heart Huckabees is extremely funny, and keeps the audience entertained with bizarre, off-the-wall humor reminiscent of movies like Being John Malkovich, while at the same time presenting an extremely unique and intelligent plot that can really make you think if you give it a chance. Not a film for the easily confused, but easily the funniest of 2004.