mikevonbach Reviews

End Game (2006)

I want my Money Back......saw this in Prison.

[4/10 · 15 September 2021]

I spent almost two hours watching a movie that I thought, with all the good actors in it, would be worth watching. I couldn't believe it when the movie ended and I had absolutely no idea what had happened.....I was mad because I could have used that time doing something else.... I tried to figure it all out, but really had no clue. Thanks to those who figured it out and have explained it....right or wrong, it's better than not knowing anything!! Who was the lady in the movie with dark hair that we saw a couple of times driving away? How did First Lady know that her husband was cheating on her? At the end of the movie Kate said she would eventually find out the truth. Does this mean that we.

The Tomorrow War (2021)

STARSHIP TROOPERS CROSSED WITH THE THING. LOTS O FUN.

[9/10 · 7 July 2021]

Gotta say unfortunately that it's not Pratt's best ever performance but hell, the source material just isn't Guardians, so unfair to compare really. Overall it was solid performances by all the cast and of course JK was excellent. The standout performance was Strahovski though - she was exceptional.

Salt and Pepper (1968)

THE CANDYMAN TRIED BEING HALF A KENNEDY gets 2 stars

[8/10 · 5 July 2021]

Christopher Pepper' are owners of a seedy Soho nightclub who get into trouble when a beautiful Chinese agent dies in Salt's dressing room. Then, one by one, V. I. P.'s start dropping like flies. Despite continual interference from the law, Salt and Pepper manage to uncover a diabolical plot by extremists to take over the country using a stolen nuclear submarine, H. M. S. Hercules. Its like watching a 'Matt Helm' picture without Dino. The opening scenes are atrocious, but as soon as Salt and Pepper are kidnapped by fake policeman, it perks up. Some of the action is surprisingly violent for a lightweight comedy, particularly the finale in a military academy in which an M. P. dies when.

Payback (I) (2021)

Snitch better have my money

[5/10 · 21 June 2021]

Gets more stupid and unlikely as it moves along. And it has the most unlikely ending ever, poorest payoff in the past five films you've seen. The only thing worth watching truly were performances by support cast you may recognize: Lev Gorn who played Zotov in "The Americans" and Toby Moore who plays Bryan in "Billions". And our protag/star, Matt Levett, never seen him before. And he plays a character that should've died in so many scenes. Just add this to the Covid-era pile of rubbish out back.

Infinite (2021)

remember WHEN I MADE GOOD MOVIES/ I will list some

[2/10 · 14 June 2021]

1.planet of the apes 2,Max Payne 3. Entourage 4. Broken City 5. Contraband.

6. The Gambler 7. Ted 8. Shooter👍👍 9.four Brothers 10. The next one baby. Cause I'm getting old.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time (2021)

the hills have eyes and 3 teeth

[2/10 · 15 May 2021]

You have seen before and I am so happy it threw me for a loop. I am a CINEPHILE (and I do mean that in all caps) and have seen an crazy amount of storylines so it is insane to me that something could still make me jump out of my chaiand makes me so excited that this one truly took me by surprise. I credit this to the writer, Justin Price (who also produced, filmed and directed, apparently one of those multi talents of Hollywood we like to fantasize about being, who can combine his artist brain with what it takes to.

Ava (IV) (2020)

Ok I get it. iF Barbie Dolls can have a Ken doll then John wick can have AVA thats fair.

[4/10 · 13 December 2020]

The problem with this film was The script.And the casting was shaky also. Well since you mentioned it the Director could have squeezed a little more out of the Actors because there were some heavy hitters.Looked like everybody was there to get a stimulus check. I gave up on colin farrell after Alexander the Great and the the one with the Phone booth.Hey Netflix is in the Billionaire boys club now they can stand a few Floppy flops with all the people on lock down they are making a killing just like AVA.

Lockout (2012)

Yes it's a Remake of the 1981 syfy thriller ESCAPE FROM NEWYORK

[8/10 · 12 May 2020]

BACK IN THE DAY WHEN KIRK RUSSELL and Lee Van Cleef.Were making films this was one of the Great Plots.Only the Storyline was the President played by the Bond Villain Blofeld.The President was going to give a high level speech at NATO bUT HIS PLANE WENT DOWN while flying over New York city which was turn into a penal colony much like Australia was in 1788.Kirk Russell was the badass Lee Van Cleef was the warden Isaac Hayes was the Jail House Barn boss this film is and exact copy with one Difference. The President was Happy to be saved where as in this version the VIP GETS STOCKHOLM SYNDROME and wants to stay and save everyone but herself.

The Slammin' Salmon (2009)

greatest bestest most incrediblest film that has come from Bollywood.

[10 May 2020]

The filmography of The Broken Lizard comedy troupe is very much hit-or-miss. Their latest restaurant comedy The Slammin's Salmon is one of the troupe's true wins. Kevin Heffernan directs this heated contest at a high-profile Miami restaurant whose aim is to try to earn sufficient money to save the restaurant being used to pay off a gambling debt. Obviously, The Slammin' Salmon is not going to win any awards for creativity, yet the film has what it counts the most in comedies: it's very funny from start to finish. Similarly to Super Troopers and Beerfest, the humor can be described as situational and while some set-ups result in predictable outcomes, the majority of jokes is quite clever leading to even bigger laughs by the end. The characters are diverse enough to surprise us displaying near-perfect comic timing. Michael Clarke Duncan starring as an overbearing chief is a standout. His performance is so over-the-top that virtually irresistible. I wish every comedy was so immediate and apt in delivering laughs as The Slammin' Salmon. 7.5/10 (B)

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010 Video)

JALEEL WHITE is at his best spoiler when he changes into URKEL HOLY MOLY

[9/10 · 12 February 2020]

I can't believe he allowed that SAVAGE crocodile murder such a damsel in distress he should have run-in with All the force of the VIKING BREED to save her life. Hell, she was Blonde blue-eyed and she had the PHAT checkbook.all those black coalminers did seem to be A little too well shaven and clean-cut to be real coal miners. I mean where are the bedraggled clothes and the looks of hopelessness on their faces. ALL IN ALL i GAVE IT A 6IX 9INE.

The Irishman (2019)

No,this didn't work.Supercast in 1998 for this genre Let these actors CLOCK OUT.

[3/10 · 28 November 2019]

Was this the version of the EXPENDABLES FOR OLD MOB ACTORS ? I read such great reviews about this movie.But when I started to watch the first 25 minutes I new this was just a bunch of old rich Talented actors trying to break a hip bone for the fans because they don't need the fame or money. ANY one of these guys could carry this film 22 years ago But today all I smelled was bengay being slathered all over the screen.It hurts me to say this about such a group that has given the film Industry and fans so,so,much.At Least when stallone and arnold do this kind of film its tongue and cheek and not a serious misadventure LOVE THE CAST BUT they are not believable gangsters in 2019. not as leads but as older wiser ElCapo's or Dons.

Hustlers (2019)

J-lo should have passed on this one.

[2/10 · 28 November 2019]

I i'm a fan of j-lo's acting not so much the music.She is a fine Actor seen her in many Great films. This piece of work had no script no meaning or balance. No one wants to see a pack of smelly hoe's with a cash flow problems.The film focused to much on tired old cliches of other tired old flop house flicks .this movie was beneath J-lo. She must have done it just for one last hoorah to show her lords of london insured ass. Gave it 2 stars Because of the good try that the star tried to sell the dog meat.my is 86 and in a wheelchair But she funny wish she was in the flick as a gag Dancer.

Serenity (I) (2019)

McConawho Got paid an extra 2 million for thee Removal of the shirt.YEEHA

[3/10 · 28 February 2019]

This Film was full of Fantastic Opportunities For one oddish oddball fisherman and his Black sidekick.It made me think about not catching fish But catching lighting in a bottle.Even for a Hollywood movie I found it hard to believe.It was like someone buying a winning Lotto ticket three days in a row with everyone on beach Knowing about it including a Twilight Zone spirit Orchestrating a rubik's cube test of good and evil.Lets just say even for the best cream dela cream thespians this script is a hard sale.This movie could not decide what it wanted to be, A murder mystery or a biblical story about the man god tested to kill his own son.This review is just as twisted as the film . last words Free Bill Cosby because he can prove the earth is flat.

Mortal Engines (2018)

wow If you have to see one film this year ---make sure its this one

[8 December 2018]

Mortal Engines' is apparently based on a book, but I've not read it. Maybe if I had, the film would make a bit more sense... As it stands, it came across like a mix of 'Into The Badlands', 'Wild Wild West' and 'Terminator' - but with none of the best bits from any of them. Plot is that Hester Shaw (Hilmar) is trying to get vengeance against Valentine (Weaving) for killing her mum, and she's helped by Tom (Sheehan) & Anna (Jihae). The catch is it's 200 years in the post-apocalyptic future and most of the world's cities are giant mobile tanks, for some reason.

A number of questions - why is the bad city/tank "London"? Why did they turn bad? Why is an Australian (Weaving) playing a Brit? Why do two 30-year-old's find it so hard to kiss? Is that an American "PG-13" thing? How to the physics of the city/tanks work? Seems like they wouldn't be able to move anywhere near as fast as they do. Where does the fuel for the plane/blimps come from? Why are there Terminator-like resurrected cyborgs?

Anyway, there's some nice visuals, but lots of too-fast camerawork and plenty of CGI, which is both good and bad. Both Hilmar and Sheehan are likeable. Not sure if the side plots with Kate & Bevis, or Shrike, were needed. I'm sure some teenagers may like this, but there's really nothing too novel here at all.

The 9th Life of Louis Drax (2016)

Like being hit by a bus on a Beautiful spring day.I never saw it coming .

[7/10 · 23 January 2017]

Not many will understand this soft murder Mystery at first.The cinematic Beauty of nature coupled with alternative classical music is misdirection at it's best.When watching a film with overtones of narration it gives one the feeling of reading a novel.More of a slow paced an intellectual film. I thought It was worth a watch, more of a female movie. Such a rare disorder, But this film had a pollyanna attitude it did not smack so hard.By submitting this review you are agreeing to the terms laid out in our Copyright Statement. Your submission must be your own original work. Your review will normally be posted on the site within 2-3 business days. Reviews that do not meet the guidelines will not be posted. Please write in English only. HTML or boards mark-up is not supported though paragraph breaks will be inserted if you leave a blank line between paragraph.

Hidden Figures (2016)

They say the world will be inherited by the meek I think they meant Geeks.

[9/10 · 14 January 2017]

I think most people going to see this film would have an idea what kind of film it would be. It basically was what I expected it to be. It's a very crowd-pleasing film, one likely to appeal to the mainstream. It's pretty formulaic in its structure, with the usual Hollywood stylization. Nothing about it is subtle or subdued, as expected. But it's still a pretty good film. It does its job, is very entertaining, and it also has three very strong leads at its core. It's a story about important women in real life and even though it gets the very Hollywood treatment and doesn't go beyond that to become a great film, it's still hard to fault. It's definitely recommended.

The Darkest Hour (2011)

BEST Xmas movie ever in world.

[10/10 · 27 December 2016]

This was a bit of fun to watch, nothing special, like an above average sci-fi channel flick, but fun to watch nonetheless. Hasn't been a box office hit or getting much in the way of good reviews, but if basic alien invasion is your cup of tea, you will probably enjoy it too. I liked the aliens, not your usual lot, and the Moscow sets. The cast gave decent performances as well. I would have liked to see more of the invaders and would have liked a few more battle scenes, and could have enjoyed it just as well without the 3D effects. All things considered, I will add it to my collection when it's available on disc. Catch this during a matinée if you must, but you'll probably like it a whole lot more on a theater's big screen than waiting for HBO.

Arrival (II) (2016)

pretty great syfy MOVIE if you ask me .But the Aliens are low tech .

[6/10 · 18 November 2016]

YES, THE movie has spoilers . Let me say first I loved the floating hair. the effect just like they use in the new jonny depp pirate film .The reason I said that the Aliens were low tech was because most of the Abduction stories I heard from betty and barney hill and others the Aliens aways take the humans with some kind of light or beam . These 8 arm rascals send down an elevator with a serviced by OTIS sticker on the side .All I could think of while she was riding on that thing was she can forget about having any more babies . I really could not buy them spending so much time trying to understand Aliens with Donny small hands trump in the white house . I mean soon as they step one arm over that wall they would have been nuked Assuming that POTUS trump was already safe in his golden bunker .I have to see this film again for two very good reasons . 1. because this bootleg copy is not that clear and 2. because this kind of film has to be seen twice to get the full meaning .My advice to you is watch it . JUST TO SEE IF THE LADY CAN MAKE A BABY WITH TWO ARMS .

Mr. Church (2016)

WoW ! great film .I always wanted to see Eddie make the jump.

[10/10 · 16 October 2016]

I aLways new Mr. Eddie Murphy had more to give us. Much like Dan Akroyd

and Billy Crystal. I only hope Eddie is doing another film dramatic at this very moment. We the fans will now have the chance to start all over again discovering and enjoying the genius of one of the finest talents to ever entertain us . This film had nothing But heart from beginning to end . I know his brother Charlie Murphy who i'm also a big fan of is very happy with this film Also. I want to say the music,lighting,costumes,casting,camera work and the writing left nothing to be desired .We all hope to see more from this great actor and all around superb performer Mr. Eddie knock them dead Murphy .

Range 15 (2016)

Best Film of it's kind ... I have viewed it twice TODAY . masterpiece,WoWE

[10/10 · 5 September 2016]

This movie hands down is simply wonderful.I thought it would be a FLOP because of the reviews I foolishly read.Better than the new BEN HUR,BETTER THAN ALL THE MARVEL COMICS ROLLED UP INTO ONE . SOMETIMES PEOPLE YELL THAT THEY WANT THE MONEY BACK,OR I LOST 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE. NO,NO,NO I WENT BACK TO THE TICKET BOOTH AND PAYED FOR THE NEXT 16 PEOPLE I SAW walking towards other films I mean I was giddy I was out of my mind with joy. I rolled around on the floor of the movie theater Until security came and told me to settle down .But when I told them why I was so Excited they agreed with me and we had a ball pretending that we were ZOMBIES TOO .As so many others have said this film is BOSS. I LOVE to watch it but the "Humour" is so GREAT out there only a GENIUS mind could find it funny!The only SPOILER I can tell you about is the whole film! In all my years of watching horror/comedy films I've seen some real WINNERS but this one take the biscuit! Anyway the EXPERT CGI was the very Best of the films HIGH POINTS. OK I've now cleansed my film watching mind Onward and upward! do watch this you won't get angry about lost time in your life! Oh I have to write more? OK then thinking of a positive ...... still thinking...... (Spoiler) William Shatner had a good part? I.E. he was not in it for long! Another Spoiler the bloke with the blow up doll is funny for a long time then that perks up more actually the blow up doll was probably the best actor in it.

Disturbia (2007)

Would Alfredo Hitchcock Approve . Of this Rip off of his 1950's REAR WINDOW?

[7/10 · 23 June 2016]

The girl friend in this desecration of Alfred Hitchcock's "Rear Window" is Sarah Roemer whose character is named "Ashley", as it should be. She's a knockout ex-model, along the lines of Gwyneth Paltrow but without the magnetism or talent. She has deliciously narrow shoulders and seems to hunch them up and hold them back, as if someone had told her it makes her look slinky and sexy, which it does. What a flawless figure. Yum.

And Shia LaBeouf, of unprepossessing appearance, does surprisingly well in the James Stewart role of the housebound peeper. I'd only seen LaBeouf in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls," or whatever that miscarriage was called, and he was a blank.

Perhaps the most compelling performance is given by Viola Davis in the small role of the police officer who puts one of those home- arrest anklets on LaBeouf. She's a marvelous actress.

The writers have taken "Rear Window", pumped the story full of adrenalin and various psychedelic substances, and turned it into a comedy thriller about teens. In the original, James Stewart suspected one of his neighbors of murdering his irritating wife. Here, David Morse, older and throatier, is a serial killer who hides rotting bodies all over his house. Of course, no one believes LaBeouf or, after she's convinced, Roemer either. They have an Asian sidekick, Aaron Yoo, who adds comedy and suspense to some scenes.

I won't bother describing the whole plot. Parts of the narrative are idiotic, beneath imagining. A madman is stalking you in your house, carrying a lethal baseball bat, so you escape from him -- after a scene reminiscent of Nicholson's "Here's JOHNNY" -- and you run into the murderer's house, searching for your mother, who may or may not be there. The basement of his house turns into a terrifying milieu out of H. P. Lovecraft, with dark sub-basements and pools of decomposing corpses, so the hero can fall into them and scream.

I'd better be careful because I don't want to give away the ending, in which LaBeouf kills the lunatic and saves himself, his mother, his girl friend, and the Oriental gentleman.

Cell (I) (2016)

Sammy L.Jokson Why you doo dis ting to me .I fly from kingston to slap you.

[3/10 · 11 June 2016]

Mr.Sammy you don't need money dat bad .Snakes inda plane ,snakes inda script.Snakes inda acting too.In Jamaica We call dis movie Bad Blunt,or bomba bloodclot .I forgive you The plot is so unoriginal. It's basically The Walking Dead except The Walking Dead is a character-driven thrill ride whereas Cell is a low budget borefest. It begins with a father at an airport and he is talking to his son on his phone, he puts his phone away and all of a sudden, everyone around him starts foaming at the mouth and turn into zombies. He escapes and meets Tom mccourt, a very annoying and cliché'd character. Together, the both of them form a strong friendship.

I lost interest in this film about 20 minutes in, because i knew exactly how it was going to turn out. I wont give away any spoilers but it's exactly what you think will happen. The script was so predictable. It tries so hard at character development but it ends up cliché'd and annoying. There is no plot twists or any level of shock that would make you care enough to actually be shocked.

I am a fan of Stephen King's work, but i have not read Cell. I would imagine the book is a lot better than the movie. 95% of the time, that is the case with most book to movie adaptations.

Overall, this was a sad attempt at the low budget zombie flick as the special effects were poor and the make up on the "zombies" was pathetic. The ending was okay and it was for this reason i gave it a 3 out of 10. I would not recommend this movie to anyone, even if you are a fan of Stephen king, do not go and see this movie but instead, spend your money on something more worth your time.

3/10

Gridlocked (2015)

Don't listen to the Negative ,this is a very COOL,COOL,FILM,SEE IT YESS.

[9/10 · 5 June 2016]

Dominic Purcell, kICK SOME ASS IN THIS high power buddy cop movie . Lots of twist and turns tricks and jokes.They have some good stunt men and women . Fun movie to watch with a great ending . It felt like one of the old JOhn Woo flicks one busted head after another . This could go to a franchise If they can get some good follow up writing ..This highly lovable throwback by writer/director Allan Ungar, who co-wrote the film with Rob Robol, wears its obvious influences on its sleeves, but has enough original and modern charms of its own. The film may deliver plenty of laughs, but the violence and action does get gruesome and realistic. Still, Ungar and Robol do great work in balancing the two, though a small amount of the jokes helped a lot. The movie boasts an amazing cast in addition to Purcell and Hackman which includes Stephen Lang, Trish Stratus, Danny Glover, Vinnie Jones, and Saul Rubinek. If my positive review still hasn't persuaded anyone to seek it out, three words --you missing it .

One Soldier's Story: The Journey of American Sniper (2015)

what a great film About the Ultimate Bushwacker .Matt Dillon's words .

[5/10 · 29 May 2016]

As I sat in a corner table with a guy that looked like Jesse Ventura in a small Mexican cafe . We had a talk about what in meant to be an American HERO and doing the necessary but Dirty job of being a Bushwacker . Definition ; Bushwacker--As the Civil War progressed in this region "guerilla," "bushwacker," and "jayhawker" became synonymous in their meaning and usage. The term "bushwacker" was perhaps the most degrading and was often applied to anyone practicing the art of ambushing . DEFINITION ; SNIPER to shoot at individuals as opportunity offers from a concealed or distant position: The enemy was sniping from the roofs. to attack a person or a persons WITH LITTLE or NO chance of being in harms way or danger especially anonymously or from a (SAFE!) distance.

In this documentary, we saw everybody who involved in making this not-so-good film was trying to kiss every key person's behind with their best, to ensure that everybody and nobody was overlooked to be praised. In this documentary, we watched the production team kissing each other, compliment each other, then to praise the director, the leading actor and the military consultants. Everybody was great, everybody felt transformed and rejuvenated after making this film. An American legend was glorified, the military might of the American ground force kudoed. The sniper, well, if he could be blessed by the Vatican, the Pope might have to give him a sainthood. In this film, everybody was a most important part that could never and should never be left unnoticed. The Hollywood politics was showing its utmost flattery technique that all the people making money or making living in the Hollywood movie industries must dutifully performed; it is the survival instinct, the must-have and must-to-do top-priority thing. @ss kissing, back patting, hugging, smiling, humbleness, low-key techniques were carefully implemented. The director is a saint, the leading character is an actor who made the money worth; see how they selfishlessly involved and contributed to make this film great.

But as a viewer of this film, I didn't see anything worth my praise. This film actually turned out incomplete and unsatisfied. I really failed to see what's the big deal to make this documentary addition, except watched bunch of these guys kiss each other's behind profusely. A totally unnecessary record trying to show us how great this film was.

The Brothers Grimsby (2016)

What Happened to Samuel L. Jackson . He should be the 3rd Brother .

[6/10 · 26 May 2016]

Was a it a spoof on spy films ? Samuel l.Jackson was asked to do this film ,But he was Shooting the Hateful 8 And sasha Told Rolling stone magazine that he would never take sloppy seconds after Tarantino Again . I feel That Sasha should have waited for Sam Jackson,He would have brought the kind of Humor & Flavor to this film that was needed to make it the over the top Laughfest that Sasha Fans the world over xpected . I'm sitting in a submarine In the middle of the china sea they give us one movie a week to watch as a treat . Why the crew chief chose this film I will never know,On account our mission is TOP SECRET . Well if you like nut sack jokes and heroin gags YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE . But if you happen to be 1 & 1/2 miles under water looking for some entertainment VIA A funny film this will not Float your boat .Sacha Baron Cohen is back with his COCK in your face humour, did you expect anything else. A fully produced movie that's rude in your face politically incorrect and will more than likely offend those sensitive movie goers.

Reunited by chance with his brother after 28 years played by Mark Strong. Wrongfully accused the 2 battle it out against henchmen, spies and all sorts of bad guys to save themselves and the world.

Baron Cohen playing the dumb lower socio-economic lead so well and only complimented by Strong's solid hard lined acting. It's a good mix of real world situations and over the top action fight scenes that would be on par with any Hollywood film, extreme shock comedy and moments that will literally make you gag.

I see it as a spy parody that works well and there hasn't been one for ages. The line up of celebrities is nothing to poke a stick at Cohen's real world wife Australian actress Isla Fisher plays a major part and does it well and fellow Australian Rebel Wilson playing the wife of Nobby also nails the part. But does let her Aussie accent slip a little.

Is it Cohen's best probably not. That's because I'm a huge Samuel L. Jackson fan. But it's surely a close number 4. I'd probably put it in the same basket as Honey boo boo .

Fart Jokes,and turd jokes while still pulling out college dorm pranks won't keep me satisfied from start to finish. A solid 6 out of 10 you may be disappointed.