arfdawg-1 Reviews

Redd Foxx: Video in a Plain Brown Wrapper (1983 Video)

It's Just Not That Funny

[2/10 · 5 May 2024]

Old school comedy from Redd Foxx who made his fame from so called "blue" recording and of course his sitcom tv show.

This stand up was recorded in 1980 -- roughly 11 years before he died. He's already in rough shape, being in his early 50's and looking like 70. All out of breath, still smoking like a fiend.

The humor is less than juvenile. It's all about graphic depictions of sex, told in the lowest ways.

It's hard to believe this material was ever funny. And I'm not so sure it was, given the lack of audience. When they cut to wide shots of the audience you can plainly see that a good number of the seats toward the back and in the upper levels are empty! Guess he was no Richard Pryor.

All Hallows Eve Trickster (2023)

No Treat for Tickster

[1/10 · 5 May 2024]

This movie was made by people who quite simple do not know how to make a movie. Right out of the box you see the telltale no budget -- most of the "sets" are CGI! And not good CGI. They LOOK fake. Even the characters were processed to the point where THEY look fake.

The first 10 minutes is basically filled with high-pitched screaming woman with no point whatsoever except to provide ear shattering decimals.

Maybe they thought they were being creative, but the result is tedium.

Plus, the "stories" are completely unoriginal. Been done hundreds of time before. The only difference here is that a group of 12 year olds dressed as Halloween monsters set the stories up. Why? This isn't a kid's movie, given the violence.

To be avoided.

Chicago 10 (2007)

Stuck in the Sixties

[1/10 · 5 May 2024]

This is a really poorly movie. It may have been an interesting time in Amerikan history but this movie is far from interesting.

The makers chose to use really bad cartoons and actors to play the Chicago defendants. It doesn't work. The cartoons look nothing like the characters and their dialog is forced.

Frankly, a way better movie could have been made using only archival footage of the characters involved. It could have been truly compelling. Instead we got a really boring piece of celluloid that isn't even truthful to the events at hand.

Throughout the movie there are shots of the characters speaking to "crowds" and shots of massive numbers of people rallying. This is phony. It never happened. They inserted footage from other rallies to try to pretend these guys had such a following!

Shame on you.

And of course they never even mentioned that Jerry Rubin became a rabid capitalist after jail time ( I met him during his networking days in NYC) and Abbie Hoffman (who I always thought was the real deal) started dealing coke big time, went on the lam for years.

Red Dust (1932)

Dated and Corny

[5/10 · 5 May 2024]

Not really sure why this gets such high reviews. It's not a great movie.

Oh, yeah, it LOOKS good. Clearly money was put behind these two MGM superstars of their day. But frankly, the acting isn't all that great. Clark Gable is good, but Jean Harlow was no in my book. I think she's an over hyped actress.

And considering this was 1932 and pre-code, was hoping it would be a little more adult and risque.

And then there's the direction -- the entire movie is shot like a stage play, with all the characters yelling their corny lines in an unnatural way as if there was a live audience in the stalls straining to hear.

Vampire Vixens from Venus (1995)

Double Header

[1/10 · 2 May 2024]

This movie hits two lows -- it's got to be both the worst sex comedy and worst sex sci fi all rolled into one.

The three so-called vampires from Venus have hot bodies with giant implants the size of Ethiopia, but oddly, I didn't even recognize Michelle Bauer as one of them!

The acting also hits a new low.

So does the annoying music that is a complete distraction.

Needless to say, the direction is just the pits.

And then there's the title. Vampire Vixens? They don't seem to be Vampires at all. The endowed babes put some sort of electrical device on a guy's head and it appears that his innards get sucked out until he turns into something that looks like a pretty big raisin.

Then they dump them, but the raisin is still moving after they are found so is he still alive in some way?

I was going to shut this off because it was so bad but then I realized that Charlie Callas was in it so I waited. What on earth was he doing in this movie? Needed the money, or had to do a favor for Vito? If you're not watching carefully, you'll miss him.

Bikini Summer III: South Beach Heat (1997)

Does the Plot Really Matter?

[4/10 · 2 May 2024]

This movie is pure and simple stroke material. Nothing more and nothing less. Especially if you are 14.

A plethora of super hot, flat stomached, implanted, nose jobbed, babes who can't act parade around in too-small bikinis (or less) for 90 minutes.

The acting is horrendous -- especially the men who are the pits and the stereo typed flamer who somehow seems to like girls a bit too much for his character.

But none of that matters because we haven't come here for Shakespeare. We are waiting patiently for the interlude moments when those babes take off every widdle bit of their clothing. In that, the movie delivers every time.

Homebound (II) (2021)

Snooze-a-Rama

[1/10 · 1 May 2024]

This is perhaps the worst picture made in 2021.

In my book, it's a nothing burger. Starts off slow and than gets progressively slower, if you can imagine that.

The movie is filled with long, laborious, segments of people wandering about not speaking, but instead just staring in a perplexed fashion.

Maybe this was done consciously because the cast are horrible actors. In fact, when they open their mouths you start to cringe because the acting is so bad.

There are also huge parts of the movie with no music while there is simultaneously not talking. Done because the budget was so small?

It's produced by an entity that is known for very low budget movies that look cheap and it shows.

City After Dark (1980)

Nearly Unwatchable

[2/10 · 30 April 2024]

Why would someone or some entity pay good money to restore this movie? It's horrible. It's made like a grind house movie from the 70's so, again, why bother to restore it?

It's very poorly made and at a running time of more than two and a half hours, you'll be craving sleep soon after you start watching it.

I tried very hard to get into it but really the movie can be distilled down to endless bath and shower scenes. Who cares?

Maybe this was titillating back in the day in Manilla, but it sure isn't today. And it wasn't in the US back then either.

I was thoroughly bore out of my mind. Don't bother.

Chupacabra Terror (2005 Video)

The Shadow Critter?

[2/10 · 28 April 2024]

This is a pretty bad movie. The acting is actually OK. Acceptable, anyway, unlike many super low budget movies. Part of the reason for that is the use of some washed up seasoned actors in key roles.

But the writing is real cheesy. And the special effects -- if you cant call them that -- are truly F-level.

In fact the first kill, which happened within 5 minutes of the start is done by a shadow. How shadows can kill is something I cannot grasp.

Soon afterward you actually see the Chupacabra and it looks nothing like what we have been led to believe all these years. It's a guy in a suit that looks a bit like the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Needless to say, the direction leaves much to be desired.

Smoking Causes Coughing (2022)

Japanese Movie Made in France

[5/10 · 28 April 2024]

This is basically a Japanese genre movie with men in monster suits and Ultraman like superheroes.

It's got two basic things going for it: it's short, running at roughly 1 hour and 15 minutes AND it's briskly directed to keep your attention.

In some ways I think the audience for this movie is a kid type audience maybe not little kids but video games kids. Except that there are some gross violent scenes so maybe not.

So is it any good? It's mediocre at best. Relatively creative but the story-line gets old fast. I was sort of bored toward the middle and the boredom didn't go away until it was over.

Psyclops (2002 Video)

Ruined by the Acting

[4/10 · 27 April 2024]

I really wanted to like this movie. Actually, I really wanted to LOVE this movie.

Unfortunately the actors are so bad at acting the entire movie was ruined for me.

And it really IS unfortunate because the director has talent. It's a low budget flick and he does quite a lot with it. He's very creative and knows how to make the action keep coming. The story unfolds really nicely but then you get blocked from loving it by the really sub-par acting. And it's all of them. They are just horrible.

So unfortunate because as i say the movie is very very creatively done. It could have been great with four better actors.

Knox Goes Away (2023)

Ruined by the Tick Boxes

[4/10 · 26 April 2024]

This could have been a really great movie. Unfortunately quite a lot of the writing is sub par.

But it gets worse.

Let me first talk about the good parts:

Michael Keaton and Al Pacino are superb. They transcend the cheesy poor written dialog.

Unfortunately this is a relatively low budget movie so those two paydays must have eaten up the budget.

As a result, the ancillary characters truly suck. They are horrible actors that bring the movie way down. It's sad that equity is doing this to movies today.

The detectives and the others are HORRIBLE actors who shoudl never work again. It's really sad to see a really good actor and a great actor in this shamble of a film.

Pillow Party Massacre (2023)

Highly Ineffective

[1/10 · 26 April 2024]

Perhaps the worst ovie of the year.

A bunch of totally unattractive Gez Z'ers get together in a house years after pulling an April Fool's prank on one of the students. Heard it before? Of course you have.

The movie is filled with used up cliches: Jump scares, Truth or Dare games, you name it. Only none of it is effective in this horribly boring movie.

What makes it worse is that the cast cannot act their way out of a proverbially paper bag and they are down right fugly so you don't even want to look at them.

Don't even think about crisp, exciting, directing. Watching paint dry is more exciting.

Hide and Go Shriek (1988)

Delivered Less Than I Hoped

[2/10 · 25 April 2024]

Sort of a dumb premise. The boys all look like dorks. One actually looks like a girlie and another looks like Max Headroom. They all act like they are actually in a National Lampoon beach comedy.

A couple of the girls are tall and super thin like I like 'em. So it's wait time for the nudity.

Very slow moving and not really well directed. It really hard to get beyond how dumb these kids are acting. They actually play hide and go seek like a bunch of dorks.

Nudity starts at 28:00:00 and it's not great. There is jaws music whenever the killer is around. Dumb. There is also the bait and switch regarding the killer.

I was largely bored throughout the entire movie. It delivered less than I hoped.

Narcotic (1933)

Worst of the '30's Explotations

[1/10 · 25 April 2024]

By far, Narcotics is the worst and most boring of the drug exploitation movies that were made in the 1930's. It's slow and plodding and really poorly directed.

Frankly, the first three-quarters are so convoluted I'm not even sure what was going on. It's not until the final quarter that things perked up.

This is when the girls come in and everybody starts drug-partying. But even this segment is a huge let down. You are led to believe these floozies are gonna be stripping and going wild like the girls in Marihuana.

If you were waiting for some nudity like that in Marijuana, you'll be waiting your lifetime. The acting is horrendous and it's just a story that is not compelling.

A bore.

Asbury Park (2021)

False Narrative

[1/10 · 25 April 2024]

This debacle has a number of things against it. It's made with a fale premise -- there's a "revolution" going on. There isn't and you didnt prove your thesis in this poorly made film.

Also when two of three review are from people who admit they WORKED on the movie and get tens, you know those are phony reviews. How many others who didnt review this honestly are propping up the 6.6 score it's getting now>

The movie is made on a 12 year old level. It skims the surface of the issues explored and provides a one-sided biased account to fit their false narrative.

The directing is dismal. The entire movie looks like it was put together by a juvenile.

Marihuana (I) (1936)

Oddity from the Middle Thirties

[5/10 · 22 April 2024]

You know a movie is going to be unusual when it opens with a guy sitting on a stool at a bar with his back to peeing on the floor fully clothed.

The opening looks more like an anti drinking prohibition movie than a drug film. In fact, there's party after party and it just appears that peopel are getting drunk not stoned.

Then, in a secret compartment about the fireplace the dreaded marihuana cigarettes are introduced surreptitiously to the group. The girls had the giggle water, now they get the giggle weed and all hell breaks loose.

Off with the clothes we go. And this is 1936. Shocking to see nudity!

The acting is horrendous, but then I guess finding women to get naked on film back then meant taking what you could get.

The flick is about an hour long and feels like 3 hours. Once you're past the titillating nudity, you might as well shut it off.

Late Night with the Devil (2023)

Could Have Been a Nine

[7/10 · 22 April 2024]

This film is proof you don't need a ton of money to make a good movie. You just need the right talent and some thought.

Late Night with the Devil starts out with a documentary style very similar to Woody Allen's Take the Money and Run. It soon morphs, however into a Halloween episode of a late night talk show, purporting to re-air a live episode including scenes never show on TV.

This part is a bit weird because the scenes shown during the commercial would have never been filmed, so how did they have them? No matter, the movie is so compelling, you'll probably disregard this minor point.

The show's first guest is a psychic, then a skeptic, then a girl who is supposed to be possessed by a demon. It unfolds really well and I really loved the movie.

Until the ending.

For me, the ending took two stars away from the review. It was just too abrupt and ethereal. Still worth a watch, however.

Beyond Boundaries: The Harvey Weinstein Scandal (2018)

Boring Doesnt Do it Justice

[1/10 · 21 April 2024]

Boy this is a bad documentary.

Nothing new here as a starter. We know the story. We've seen all the news coverage played day in and day out over and over for months.

Now I'm not saying I support Harvey in any way, but this thing is has verily hit rock bottom.

The movie starts out (and I am not joking) with this plastic faced woman shedding crocodile tears with her Brit accent lamenting Harvey. She's really hard to look at because she's very young, but has already had tons of plastic work to the point that she borders on that Wilderstein chick. She's pretending to cry and it's so phony you'll want to throw up.

It's such a poor excuse for a revealing documentary that you will likely fall asleep before it's over.

Garden of Hedon (2011)

Hedon Collision

[1/10 · 21 April 2024]

This movie could quite possibly be the worst movie ever made.

And I'm not joking.

It's two long boring hours of the worst acting you cold possibly imagine. In fact now that I think of it, I doubt you could imagine just how bad the acting is.

But then the script is no doosey either. It's the pits. Moronic dialog and a story that makes no sense.

And do I really need to say anything about the directing? How could it be even remotely good when the rest of the movie is just horrible to the nth degree?

And to add insult to injury, the director actually had the nerve to make a documentary about the making of this train wreck fiasco! Really? Like we didnt have enough after seeing this garbage, which, BTW looks like it was filmed from a smart phone.

Festival of the Living Dead (2024)

Wow. Bad.

[1/10 · 19 April 2024]

This movie is simply a waste of time to watch.

It has non of the humor that the Living Dead movies had.

None of the edge.

None of the flavor.

It's just a bunch of kids fighting zombies.

There isn't even an explanation where they came from. And where are the adults?

The originals were able to combine humor, edginess and rock and roll into some pretty cool stuff.

This movie succeeds in none of that.

Also, the movie is filmed so dark, you can barely make out the action in maybe 40% of the movie.

Could be good, in that the acting is horrible. Just the dregs of bad acting put on screen for you to be bored with.

Attack of the Killer Shrews! (2016)

What?

[1/10 · 19 April 2024]

I'm not really sure how this movie possibly has close to a six rating here on IMDB. It's really nor very good at all.

The budget is so low, the interior scenes are actually filmed in somebody's basement! No joke. You can see the tiny basement window and the cheap hung ceiling actually hangs a bit below the window!

The acting is miserable, the special effects amount to a shrew muppet that someone is holding off camera. Maybe $45 were spent on the special effects.

Poorly directed, like most Troma movies.

Unfortunately, even tho this is sort of a comedic satire on the original movie which was pretty good for a low budget flick, the humor is lost with the very poor writing.

306 Hollywood (2018)

Self Absorbed Garbage

[1/10 · 18 April 2024]

You have got to wonder why anyone would think their grandmother -- who is NOT notable -- would be worthy of a full length documentary about cleaning out her house in New Jersey after she croaks.

No one except maybe the relatives.

And true to form, this is the most boring movie I have ever seen.

Grandma buys a house.

Grandma walks around.

Grandma has a picture of the virgin Mary even tho she's Jewish.

Grandma is a hoarder.

Who cares? Honestly. Who cares?

There is nothing special about this woman. Nothing. And nothing special about the family. They are just self-absorbed and want a movie about themselves.

Then they title it so you initially think it's about a house in LA! I was bored beyond belief.

What garbage.

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

Fred Olen Ray Delivers

[7/10 · 18 April 2024]

This is a fun splatter movie. Filled with everything you want from a flick like this.

A detective embarks on a mission to track down a woman in L. A.'s seedy nightclubs, only to come face-to-face with a blood-thirsty cult of lethally beautiful prostitutes. Hollywood's demented Chainsaw Hookers.

And the nudity does not disappoint. Neither does the flow of rich red blood. Some great double entendre dialog and lots of fun for all.

Crisply directed by Ray, you won't be bored. And all the dumbness just adds to the enjoyment.

The acting is good. Everyone seem to be in on the joke.

I liked the flick a lot.

Exorcist Vengeance (2022)

OMG!!! Resurrection Of Charles Bronson?

[1/10 · 18 April 2024]

OMG! The priest in this picture id a dead ringer for Charles Bronson. Detailed down to his hair and even the shape of his mustache!

When I saw a still pic of him I thought it WAS him! But how could he still be alive? Well he didn't die until after this movie was made, so was it possible?

Then I put the movie on and WOW!!!! It HAD to be him!

Until I heard him say "Vere did the go? Vere did he go?"

Charles Bronson would never say "Vere."

So now we are lft to wonder, does this actor ALWAYS look like tis or did they intentionally make him look like Bronson in the vein of making a Death Exorcist Wish movie?

I dunno, but I DO know one thing -- this movie stinks to high heaven. It's horribly directed and acted and the script is truly moronic.