MCEdwards13 Reviews

Hard Candy (2005)

Disappointingly Average!!!!

[5/10 · 13 January 2007]

Such a shame when a film doesn't fulfil the potential that it blatantly could have if done, well, better! This film could've been the best edge of your seat thriller if it wasn't so drawn out and quite frankly ridiculous. The storyline is a killer, but completely let down by the acting, the directing and the production. They should've given the script to Tarrantino or someone with similarly outlandish thought patterns such as Rob Zombie or Eli Roth, it would've been awesome then. Instead it was just average and, to be honest, a little bit boring. Each to their own and everything, but whoever gave this film a higher mark than 4 or 5 are gravely mistaken. Worth a watch i guess, but don't expect much...

Open Water 2: Adrift (2006)

What a waste of time.... (slight spoiler)

[2/10 · 8 January 2007]

Nerve shredding terror????? Yeah, right! There should be a law against tag-lines that are blatant lies. Open Water I must admit I did enjoy. I found it menacing and for the most part, was on the edge of my seat. Adrift however was just mind-numbingly boring from start to finish. Not to spoil it too much for anyone, it's a group of old high school buddies who go for a swim from their yacht but don't put the ladder down beforehand, leaving them adrift in the middle of the ocean. All they brave though is the elements and each other. Disappointingly, there are no sharks or other deadly sea creatures. This is a film about survival.... survival for the viewer not to commit suicide due to overwhelming boredom! Be warned.... don't bother!

Severance (2006)

Severance! Not impressed!

[4/10 · 5 December 2006]

What? For all the hype this film got, I was very disappointed! I dragged my girlfriend along expecting side-splitting humour and a memorable experience, but left the cinema a bitter and twisted man. Yes, it had it's moments, but few and far between. It was just not very good... I think that the balance of horror and comedy was very much outweighed by the comedy aspect, which quite frankly fitted very well with Shaun Of The Dead and even Dog Soldiers, but just made this film a joke. The last film I saw that I would relate most closely to this was probably Evil Aliens, I think I gave that a very low mark as well. This is not even a "no-brainer", it's boring, dull and slow! My opinion may well not be the same as most, but in my humble opinion, this film sucks!

Reeker (2005)

What the hell??????

[5/10 · 5 December 2006]

I took a wild guess on this film to be honest.... front cover looked good, the synopsis on the back made the film sound good, but when push came to shove, it was just "alright". The characters were drab and boring and very cliché "horror teen victims", the script was quite funny with a few comedy moments and one-liners and on first impressions the storyline seemed very much "done before a million and one times". Reeker has its fair share of slight frights (if you're a girl), funny moments and half-decent gore special fx, but the twist at the end? What the hell? As much as it sort of tied the story together, it also left me thinking "OK, but.... why?" I think it tries to be too clever and whacky, and fails! An OK "no-brainer" to watch with a four pack and a takeaway, but please don't expect a genius horror film... you'll be disappointed!

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Just a lot of walking really...

[2/10 · 13 November 2006]

Not a fan. Too long... FAR too long! Too drawn out... FAR too drawn out! The scenery is lovely, the cinematography excellent, the special effects brilliant.... other than that.... far too long and drawn out! Gollum was pretty cool, the other characters bored me.... Oh, I lie, the Orks were pretty cool, and those walking trees, they were cool as well. I wish I could say more about this, in fact not just this but the whole trilogy... I wish I could, but I can't! Sorry..... Far, far too long! They knocked the nail right on the head in Clerks 2... Just a lot of people walking... Some lovely scenery, stunning views, excellent special effects and lovely scenery (did I mention that?). If you like scenery, you'll like this film!

District B13 (2004)

Watch it with subtitles, not dubbed into English

[6/10 · 13 November 2006]

I thought this was a fun film with a wicked soundtrack, some great characters, a storyline you don't really have to think too deeply into, some awesome martial arts and free-running, some very slick motors and action oozing from everywhere. The only thing that let it down (or made it slightly more of a comedy action movie - depends which way you look at it) was the overdubbing. If I was to watch it again, I would leave it in french and read the subtitles. The twist in the plot was clever, the ending satisfying and everything in-between pretty awesome. Definitely one for fans of well choreographed action films. High kicks, running up walls, jumping from tall buildings, super-fast punches and the old matrix-style slow motion bullets. In with the lads? Getting some beers and a takeaway? This one is for you!

Rancid (2004)

Waste of time and money!!!

[2/10 · 13 November 2006]

If this movie had (a) been better directed and produced, and (b) had half decent acting throughout, it would have been a fairly decent 90 minutes of my life taken up on a Saturday evening. I now wish i'd gone out and spent the £3.95 on a couple of beers down the local pub instead. It tried far too hard to be slick and clever, but fell very badly at every turn. I would steer clear of this at your local DVD rental shop and go for something good! How it got the near 6 out of 10 mark on IMDb, i'm not sure. If you're looking for an entertaining, fast paced thriller with a wicked twist and an awesome story-line, PLEASE don't bother renting this, I was truly disappointed and annoyed that I spent nearly £4 to hire it, and the guy behind the counter didn't think it good customer service to inform me on just how bad it is. If you don't want to take my word for it, that's fine, just let it be known that I did tell you so...

Borat (2006)

I very nearly wet my pants and split my sides open......

[9/10 · 9 November 2006]

What a work of absolute genius. A gem of beautifully crude, highly uncomfortable and at most points, cringe-worthy comedy rolled into 84 minutes of perfection. Not a dull moment, not a yawn or a sleepy expression, only lots and lots of excruciating laughter from every single row in the Cinema. I won't spoil ANYTHING about this film, all I shall say is that you MUST go and see this as it is BRILLIANT! Probably, this film will not appeal to any prudes or people lacking a sense of humour. If you fall under this category, don't touch it with a bargepole. Everyone else... go to the Cinema NOW and enjoy! Not only will you NOT be disappointed, but you'll be talking about it for days, maybe weeks afterwards and waiting with baited breath for it to be released on DVD so you can roll around in laughter a second, third or fourth time!!!!

Saw III (2006)

Absolutely the BEST Saw.... so far?

[8/10 · 6 November 2006]

I went into the cinema with a hopeful but open mind. In my eyes, Saw was good but not brilliant, if the acting and direction had been better, it would have been an awesome movie... Saw 2 was not as good as the first, but still had it's moments... Saw 3 TOTALLY blows the first two out of the water! The irony (well, sort of) is that without the first 2, the third would make no sense (well, duhhhhh). Very rarely do sequels out-do the original, but Saw 3 kicks arse! Once again, the acting isn't brilliant, but it delivers a much darker and wicked movie. I only wish the first two had been made this way. It was indeed a very clever formula that made for an enjoyable, if at times cringeworthy (i mean the torture scenes and booby traps) 90 or so minutes. I loved it being a big horror fan, go see it.... NOW!

The Dark (2005)

Are there too many films like this?

[5/10 · 9 October 2006]

This film was good but not brilliant, kept you interested but wasn't particularly clever, the acting was so-so and the plot a bit confusing during the end. If you're looking for a suspense/chiller type of movie to fill 90mins of your day, then this is OK. If you're looking for a work of art, don't bother. I was expecting a lot more from this film to be honest with you, I read some really good reviews which to be honest, made me expect a gripping, well thought out horror movie. Instead, what I got was an average, jumpy in parts, averagely acted Ring/Grudge type supposed "chiller" involving a ghostly child (ring any bells) and a flock of suicidal sheep (you'll have to watch it to understand). Not atall bad, don't get me wrong, but I was expecting something a bit better.

Evil Aliens (2005)

Trying.... Very Trying!!!!

[4/10 · 7 October 2006]

Me and the girlfriend spent an hour in the video shop looking for something to watch... we spotted Evil Aliens and I thought "Oh yeah, the trailer for this looked awesome". It did, and unfortunately like a few trailers, all the good bits were featured in the trailer. The acting was awful, the pace didn't pick up until 3/4 of the way through and well... the directing was poor. When it did pick up the pace, it was quite funny and admittedly, did keep me interested, but this was only the last half hour or so... I guess it had its good points; there were a couple of funny moments and the tail end of the film was entertaining. Mostly though, the acting was so bad it got tedious and trying.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

The funniest movie I've seen in a long, long time!

[8/10 · 19 November 2005]

I left the cinema with a great big grin across my face, giggling to myself as snippets and one-liners from the film kept on creeping into my mind. Honestly, you MUST see this film, it is BRILLIANT! I now rate Val Kilmer up there with John Travolta on the "cool" scale, although Mr Travolta would have suited Val's role just as well in my humble opinion. Downey Jnr was also brilliant and very, very funny... think Riggs (Lethal Weapon) but all mouth and no action! From start to finish, the script was priceless, the acting super cool, the plot intriguing and the action fantastic. You can tell that this masterpiece is from the same minds that brought us Lethal Weapon, and this is certainly not a bad thing at all. GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE, IT ROCKS!

A History of Violence (2005)

Excellent idea, good for a TV movie.

[5/10 · 19 November 2005]

As a "straight to DVD" or television movie, this would have been acceptable, but for all the hype this movie got, I was disappointed. The acting was cardboard, the direction was poor but the story was excellent (not the ingredients for a great film). Worth waiting to watch on DVD, but I regret paying to see it at the cinema. A bit too long and drawn out for my liking, but the majority, it would seem disagrees. I guess it's a matter of taste, but to me, the film got quite tedious and a little boring in parts. As I say, the story was excellent, and the intro scene was priceless, but the acting and direction was more suited for a TV movie.

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Genius, absolute genius!

[8/10 · 14 August 2005]

Wow, what a movie! Very, very impressed indeed! Plenty of priceless moments as the original horror aspect of House Of 1000 Corpses turns to psycho-killer movie. The characters are bigger and better than in the prequel, the humour is a lot more perverse and overall, this is a must-see movie not recommended for the timid and weak. Unrelentless and at times difficult to watch (in a good way), Rob Zombie deserves a pat on the back for producing a sequel that outweighs the original (which in my opinion, was also brilliant) by at least 10 times. You must see this movie, but be prepared for brutal, unrelenting and sadistic. You have been warned!

Darkness (2002)

Can I get my money back please?

[1/10 · 22 March 2005]

I really, really, really wanted this movie to be good, and like most movies, it certainly had the potential to be a kick-arse, scary and psychological horror movie! Yes, potential it had, but sadly it failed, miserably! More holes in the plot than in a moth-eaten wardrobe of jumpers, no explanation to 99% of the hole-ridden plot, the acting was terrible (i've seen soap-operas with better acting in them), the direction and production was just laughable, and the end...? A cliffhanger? I just wish there had been a cliff to jump off after that terrible piece of wishy-washy rubbish (i'm trying my hardest not to use swear-words by the way). Let's just say I was left feeling cheated and robbed of my entrance money... If there was a lower mark than 1, I would've given it that!