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Blood and Oil (2010 TV Movie)
3/10
Blood and Oil- Unnatural and shallow...
10 April 2010
I don't normally write reviews of a BBC television dramas unless I feel particularly provoked one way or the other. Unfortunately it was because of my in-credulousness of how poor this program was. I actually found it hard to watch and certainly impossible to take seriously. The plot centres around a PR woman travelling to Nigeria to work for an oil company who's employees are regularly kidnapped or worse. Perhaps this could have been an interesting scenario. It wasn't.

Everyone is a caricature. In the opening scene the oil workers storm through a village in their Land Rovers knocking over people's property on the way- like cartoon villains. I was watching this scene with a guy who's worked for many years for a blue chip company in Nigeria who scoffed loudly at this. No foreign company acts in this disrespectful, provocative way.

Linking into this is the acting- it was atrocious- like watching actors who speak their lines like extras in a school play- seriously it was that unnatural. The kidnapped oil worker's wife spends her entire screen time crying at full volume and generally acting pathetically. Whilst our PR heroine gives almost a smug performance- acting incredibly inappropriately in certain scenes. For example instead of comforting the , albeit OTT-ly, distraught wife- she casually remarks along the lines of 'kinapping happens all the time here, don't worry' and then proceeds to sip a cocktail by the pool and make pleasantries with the hotel manager. The whole thing seemed staggeringly unnatural as did many other scenes- including the actor who plays 'Johnson' from Peep Show sporting a ridiculous American accent which was almost as funny as the, intentionally hilarious, boss he plays in Peep Show.

The disappointing thing is that there was clearly a big budget for this. But how any of this- the script, acting and direction could have been green lighted is a mystery. In a nutshell- if you want to look at Africa through the lens of a shallow soap opera production then this will be your thing. For a well acted and directed conspiracy drama set in the continent check out 'The Constant Gardner' instead.
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3/10
Pathetic, predictable and irritating
6 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This movie really sucked. I would say its terrible but actually considering a lot of the crap that comes out of Hollywood its probably more like average. I read one or two reviews giving it fairly positive responses which made me think it would be worth killing time on, but its almost like no one aspires to anything half decent anymore as this was like a sub par action movie from the mid-90s when this format was new and therefore somewhat entertaining, ie in no way deserving of any praise.

Tony Scott strings together an incredibly predictable action story with almost no interest in anything human and engaging- The main characters are clichéd and boring. This is potentially the scripts fault since Travoltas psychopath is just a standard bad guy role with any interesting backdtory only hinted at and never followed up. Denzel has presence but he still seems far too cool to be the slightly loserish character hes meant to be playing (which could of been more interesting).

The supporting ones either given no screen time (eg Luis Guzman or John Tuttoro- why even employ the former, if only to appeal to an indie demographic since he has about 3 lines?) or are clichéd to the max- witness the hostages who appear to be extras with little acting abilities. Scott gives the hostages zero screen time too- you never relate to these guys- you never see their fear, and their reactions seem far too muted to be realistic.

The plot is just there so Scott can mess about with some flashy camera work which gets incredibly irritating. He does these slow mo shots of helecopters and trains so often at the start you just want one image to go at normal speed. He also does these freeze frames of how much time is left which become laughable after a while as they come at really odd moments, and are a very obvious way of forcing suspense.

Spoilers- So much of it is unrealistic- the girlfriend on the webcam demanding her hostage boyfriend to say he loves her; the fact that the goons don't notice the laptop with a teenage girl on; the amount of bullets the police fire at the henchmen when they get caught; the car that carries the money racing through town just so it can cause some nice flashy car crashes for the trailer, why not helicopter it? And the 'big twist' about him doing it for gold or 'put offs', I guessed immediately and I don't even have much of an interest in economics...

Tony Scott has done some decent movies- True Romance is one that springs to mind. This one seemed to have been made by the guy who shoots the stunts as that seems to be the whole point to the unrealistic, entirely predictable storyline and paperthin characters. Hell Im not judging this compared to deep artsy movies, just decent popcorn flicks, eitherway it falls so short and I cant fathom how this has got even one good review, any help? Sorry for the rant, I just expected more....
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Friends & Crocodiles (2005 TV Movie)
3/10
A girl is hired as PA to a wealthy businessman, the story follows their lives from the 1980s to the present
16 January 2006
As another viewer commented, this feature length production is pretty empty- both of story and characters. The two leads are both very irritating and have no real depth to them. How she ever becomes attached to him is never really shown. The only scenes they share are ones in which she is reprimanding him for some minor incident. In fact the only thing they ever do together at work is a colour coded file system, constantly viewed as some work of genius. She even later calls him her mentor- though we never see him teach her anything. Paul isn't half as enigmatic as he is made out to be either.

All Friends and Crocodiles is, is a succession of shots of grand parties against the backdrop of the 1980s/1990s (with the obligatory brick mobile phone joke). There's a vague sense of whimsy about the story but it all feels rather forced. We never cared about these characters in the first place- so when their various falls from grace and rises to fortune happen, as an audience we just don't care.

I'm sure the writer/directors other work is all very worth watching (like the 'The Lost Prince' for instance), and whilst 'Friends and Crocodiles' all looks similarly lavish and picturesque there is really nothing at all to it.

My Dad summed it up perfectly as the credits rolled- 'Pathetic'
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