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Reviews
Spirited (2022)
Painful to watch and listen to
I like musicals and comedies but this is painful
The musicals aren't even remotely catchy, there are way too many of them plus they are literally painful to listen to, most of them are like nails on a chalkboard. The dialogue is scattered and disorganized, And a decent amount is inappropriate for children, and I'm not quite sure who the demographic is.
Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell are clickbait
De Niro and DiCaprio couldn't save this film
I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone except perhaps to the interrogators at Guantanamo bay to break suspects
Just play this film on repeat
2 to 3 viewings in and they'd tell you anything you want to know.
The Fisher King (1991)
Deceptively Brilliant
First off I have to say, that the acting in this film is incredible, Both Bridges And Williams are at the top of their game
Secondly the style of dialogue and the development of the story is extremely unique and engaging and abstract
SPOILERS AHEAD
Thirdly there is a story within a story here, In the film Parry (Williams) tells a story of how a king was presented with the grail surrounded by flames and when he went to reach for it he was burned and as time went on the wounds got worse and he felt immense pain. Later a fool presents him with a glass of water because he was thirsty. And through compassion reveals what he had wanted all along, (the grail), he drinks from the glass and is healed
This is shown to be a mirroring of what Parry does for Jack. When Jack was at the top of his career and about to go big time he made a terrible mistake and was wounded psychologically and was in immense pain mentally, later Parry helps him through compassion alone to find what he wants...there was even a scene earlier in the film where Jack burns his arm a hint to repeat viewers
A true masterpiece of storytelling.
Jack is The Fisher King.
From Russia with Love (1963)
From Russia With Love
I'm watching and rating all the Bond films in order (you may see this message and a similar format to this one if you go through the movies, this is simply a guide for me I hope that others find it helpful )
Movie: 8/10: Surprisingly Complex for an old bond film, likeable characters, sexy women, very rewatch able
Bond: 10/10 Sean Connery: Excellent acting
Bond Girl: 7/10 Tatiana: Very attractive
Bond Villain: 7/10 Grant: tough and cold, a brute with the Phantasm of SPECTRE behind him.
10/10 Blofeld: However brief he commands with his screen presence without even being seen.
Dr. No (1962)
Dr. No
I'm watching and rating all the Bond films in order (you may see this message and a similar format to this one if you go through the movies, this is simply a guide for me I hope that others find it helpful)
Movie: 8/10
Bond: 10/10 Sean Connery: is very charismatic and engaging in this one (I will state once that I am a big fan but his performance is top notch in this film)
Bond Girl: 6/10 Honey Ryder: I found her irritating at first but she grew on me
Bond Villain: 7/10 Dr. No.: as the first Bond villain he is everything you could hope for powerful, intelligent, and intimidating but he only scores a 7 because the actor portraying him isn't very good, honestly the bonus points (+1) are just because he's the first Bond villain. Also our introduction to SPECTRE.
Moana (2016)
Beautiful Story
For the kids: it has funny jokes, cool villains, and is visually stunning
For the more mature teens and adults, this is a beautiful story of self discovery, very deep and unlike any Disney film I've ever seen. It's incredible message of finding who you are and discovering what you are capable of. Finding inner strength when no one believes in you. A truly inspirational and deeply emotional story.
If you aren't moved by this film I'd be surprised.
10/10 stars.
The Internship (2013)
Saved my life
On one of the darkest days of my life this funny goofy cheesy movie inspired me to keep going
Sometimes all you need is the right combination of goofy humor and inspiration to keep on fighting
In the end these guys fought for they're dream and won.
House M.D.: Body and Soul (2012)
Religious Hoccum
This episode doesn't belong in house...it belongs in any generic superstition supporting garbage...so basically anything else on tv
The great thing about House md is that everything is explained through logic and reason by a brilliant Atheist
The most rational character in fiction
This episode advocated for fictional superstitious hoccum to explain a fascinating real disease
House did come up with the answer but it was presented ambiguously
I hate this episode
It's a disgusting insult to the hardcore fans
I don't even consider it an episode of House
I skip it every time I rewatch the series.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention (2009)
Greatest episode
Frank goes completely off the deep end in an epic binge of depravity, the gang cluelessly tried to arrange an intervention. If they can figure out what the word means it might just work!
Around the World in 80 Days (2004)
A very fun movie for people of all ages
If you are looking for something dry and slow with historical accuracy that follows Jules Verne's original work, the kind of movie that will put your kids to sleep, this isn't the film for you
But if you want something funny and lighthearted that doesn't take itself too seriously then look no further. This film is very funny and warm. It's a great movie to watch with your kids or alone on a stormy day when you need to cheer yourself up. It's highly underrated, I understand that people think that something has to be incredibly dry and humorless to get a high rating but this is the kind of film that you actually want to watch more than once not just watch once while you fight to stay awake and then lie and tell people how much you loved it. I've been watching this movie since I was a kid, and it got me interested in new cultures and ways of life. It made me want to see the world. And it has many cameos from great actors, cool action scenes, laugh out loud comedy (it still makes me laugh to this day), and it shows you the world in all it's beauty.
It also has a good clear message of reaching your dreams in the face of mockery and seemingly impossible odds.
We might only place significance on the movies that impact us as adults but by then we've already been jaded by the ways of the world. The movies that we watch as children help shape our minds.
Let me be clear though this is not just a kids movie, if you don't laugh at the scenes in this movie then you honestly don't have much of a sense of humor.
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
The Big Nothing
Let me start by saying that I love movies where the focus of the movie is the dialogue, like Pulp Fiction or The Big Lebowski or Fear And Loathing. Those kinds of movies are my favorites because they are unpredictable and the plot. This is the most pretentious boring pointless film I've ever seen. I hate this film with a passion. Nothing noteworthy happens in it. It was described in the description as a comedy drama but I didn't find anything in this film that made me chuckle. This is a case of the Emperors New Clothes. No one wants to look dumb by pointing it out so I'll do it. The emperor is naked he's not wearing anything; this movie is a pathetic excuse for a film that should be collecting dust in a bargain bin it's done nothing that is Oscar worthy but it's done plenty that is Razzie worthy. I came here to vent my frustrations but there really is nothing to be said because nothing happened...
Hellboy (2019)
Pathetic and Disgusting
A true insult to the original movie, this pathetic excuse for a film was downright terrible. Without having watched the original or read the comics you'd be completely clueless as to what was going on. Some scenes are so bad that they are laugh out loud funny. For example in one scene they had a character known as The Lobster who was a Nazi hunter who wore a bright spangly uniform and kept threatening people with his nonexistent claws and this wasn't supposed to be funny. You could tell based on the scene. Then they had things that were disgusting for no reason. The original films you could watch with your teenage son but these are ridiculously gory and vulgar without much good reason. It didn't add anything to the film If anything it took away from it by distracting you. If you're looking for something that makes sense or has a solid plot or that you can watch with your kids then this isn't the film for you. All the heart and soul in the other film was replaced with mindless disgusting vulgarity, and don't get me wrong I love violence and vulgarity in film, all of this is done with exceptionally poor taste. And this film is a true insult to the original. I've heard that it's closer to the source material...who cares, an unwatchable piece of garbage like this gives your source material a bad name.
The Maltese Falcon (1941)
Highly Overrated
First let me say that Bogart and Greenstreet were good, not excellent but good.
But Mary Astor was so terrible that if it weren't for her sucking the life out of this movie, it would be great. This isn't anywhere near as good as "From out of the past" or "Dead Reckoning"
The plot is somewhat interesting but wildly unrealistic, (at one point a character gives a man back the gun he was pointing at him 2 minutes prior after which he goes back to pointing the gun at him) , and aside from bogart and greenstreet, the acting is mediocre at best, the worst addition to this film is Mary Astor, she is a terrible actress who doesn't have the excuse of being too attractive to act, she's downright terrible, I actually missed the whole point of the film the first time I watched it because of her, I didn't get that she was supposed to be a femme fatale acting innocent; because she didn't come across as menacing or innocent. She seemed like someone reading large cue cards in the background while making sure to get faux emotional every 30 seconds. Gutman laughs too much for his character to be taken seriously, he literally laughs almost once a minute but aside from that greenstreet does a good job portraying him.
Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019)
Trash
I'm going to be throwing away all my cds
This was a disgusting excuse for an episode
No action or intelligence or intrigue
Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019)
Trash
I'm going to be throwing away all my cds
This was a disgusting excuse for an episode
No action or intelligence or intrigue
Hall Pass (2011)
Trash Bin
My title says it all
But the cover and the premise are misleading it's not an upbeat buddy comedy, it's degrading towards men, it's feminazi garbage, I spent 99 cents on this and I feel like I was cheated
John Q (2002)
A Triumph
A lone hero against a flawed system
A young boy is denied a heart transplant that he needs to live. His desperate mother begs his father to do something. He decided then and there that his sons life meant more to him than his own. He takes the emergency room by storm and does everything in his power to give his son a fighting chance; while facing jail and death he only thinks of his son. This story makes us ask ourselves how far are you willing to save someone you love? John Q was willing to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger, he didn't have to but he was ready to die to save his boy. In this story, the media, his family, and even the hostages are in agreement John Q is a hero, and what he did he did out of love.
The 13th Warrior (1999)
A delightful action film
I watched this movie last night and wasn't expecting much but I was pleasantly surprised
This action epic has several twists and turns that add to the excellent and excessive carnage and monstrous enemy that this unlikely warrior faces with his newfound companions.
Breaking Bad (2008)
Breaking Boring
For those of you that love this show please stop reading, my opinion is just that an opinion
This is literally the worst show I have ever seen in my entire life, and I finished it, every episode. The idea is very cool. Chemistry teacher dying of cancer decides to become a kingpin to provide for his family because he has nothing to lose.
Something I will say is that Bryan Cranston was phenomenal, his acting and not so subtle shift in character was impressive
Now that we've covered everything I like about the show lets talk about what I hate:
Cinematography: Is done so poorly that I actually got a headache and nausea from watching, If you'll pay attention to the bottom of the screen you'll notice its moving
"The Breaking Bad Test": I created a new way to judge shows what I do is Whenever the show starts going I start counting and if nothing of interest is happening and there is no dialog and I can reach 60 before either of those things happen it fails. This is one of the worst things about the show, there is too much downtime between actual scenes, like a 2 minute scene of the main character standing in line or a 1.5 min video of him washing his hands before dinner, a 4 minute scene of the two hitmen walking down a road and so on.
Nothing to look at:
Imagine one of the best movies about drug dealers ever
Lets use Scarface
You've got the sexy women and the muscular men
The big guns and the action scenes
You've got the mansion with the tiger and cars
The interesting and complicated characters
Now take all that away and you've got breaking bad, Gross old women, very few action scenes, No flash or panache, and mostly boring 2 dimensional characters with back stories and dialogue like they were written by a bored 13 year old
One of the most redundant plots ever conceived by man:
I'm going to spoil the entire plot for you
Walter gets up fights with his wife, goes and makes meth which we don't see most of the time, fights with his tweeter friend, has a problem with his meth business, goes home fights with the wife 3 episodes later solves the one problem with the business...and repeat
The machine gun that WW used to kill himself was my favorite character,
Let me save you about 100+ hours of your life
Happily they all die at the end
Your Welcome