KahnuevsKrake Reviews

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Intriguing premise, but utterly predictable with idiotic characters.

[5/10 · 20 March 2023]

It's one of those films that you hear about and watch out of pure curiosity because of the bizarre nature of the premise. I remember people going nuts over 'Teeth' because it was a film about a woman with teeth in her vagina, now we've got a beloved children's character reimagined as a slasher film, which I originally thought was a practical joke when I first heard of it.

That really is ultimately the selling point of a very predictable and otherwise run-of-the-mill horror film. A bunch of young women rent a holiday house in the woods and.......well you do the maths.

I've seen slasher films where characters make utterly stupid decisions, like running upstairs away from the killer and end up getting cornered, or falling for a suspiciously high pitched voice saying "help me" and following it into the woods ALONE, but here, we have a woman taking selfies in a hot tub, she notices Pooh in the background, but after a half arsed search, she drops her guard and relaxes back in the hot tub again. That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen a character do in a horror movie. Fair enough if she heard a noise and just rationalised it as her imagination, but no, SHE SAW THE KILLER WATCHING HER in the background and she got back into the hot tub after a half arsed search. Talk about perpetuating the dumb blonde girl stereotype!

This movie had potential, but like I said, it's a very predictable and unoriginal film with a bizarre selling point that plays on your curiosity. Nothing more and nothing less.

Clerks III (2022)

Kevin Smiths Best Film In YEARS!!!

[9/10 · 19 September 2022]

I am a big Kevin Smith fan, even if some of his recent films have been a bit off. But Clerks III is, in my opinion, his best film since Zack and Miri Make A Porno, which was nearly 15 years ago. Back in the 90's and early 00's he made a career in pushing the envelope with his signature crude and juvenile sexual humour with the likes of Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and of course Clerks II. Then around the late 00's, he began a bit of a wobbly period where he dabbled in other genres with varying results.

Now with Clerks III, he truly is back on form, with the best acting of the three, Brian O'Halloran delivers a monologue that you could swear wasn't acting. Smiths signature humour is still there, but instead of trying to push the envelope like he did in his earlier work, he smartly dials it back and evolves as the main characters age.

Talking of which, Smiths signature characters Jay and Silent Bob make a return, played by Jason Mewes and Smith himself, as well as Jeff Anderson as Randal Graves. Those characters could very easily be written like they haven't grown up a bit since the first movie, but they are written like they've gotten older and act accordingly whilst retaining the sense of humour and personality.

The second movie has has a melancholic undertone with its themes of getting older and life moving on whilst still being uproariously funny, while this movie takes that a bit further and really hits hard with dark themes like mortality and grief, yet still retains the heart and humour of its predecessors and delivers an emotional gut punch which left me dead silent after the credits rolled, then walk out of an almost empty cinema and still contemplating the ending on the walk home through an empty shopping centre. Well done Kevin Smith!!!

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Funny, emotional and one of the few "perfect" films out there in my opinion

[9/10 · 14 April 2020]

And by "perfect film", I don't necessarily mean my favourite, but the fact that it bangs everything it wants to be, right on the nail. The acting is fantastic, the characters are well balanced and the ending doesn't resort to Hollywood cliches.

For a family comedy, it deals with pretty mature subject matter like divorce, parental rights and all the nitty gritty around it, but Robin Williams comedy genius makes the film funny enough to almost die laughing, yet it hits your emotional heartstrings pretty hard and you really want this family to be ok.

Williams absolutely hilarious performance as Daniel Hillard is obviously the big star of the movie, but two performances I think are underrated, the first being Sally Field as the ex-wife, Miranda. While what she did in the movie was pretty horrible to begin with, but you can understand why she did it. It really is a breath of fresh air to see a film that shows both sides of the story, while you are supposed to root for Daniel and the deeply unfair situation that was thrown at him, he was a great father, but ultimately immature, irresponsible and needed to grow up. Any lesser a film would have completely vilified Miranda, but both characters grow in the movie.

The other underrated performance is Pierce Brosnan as Stu, a guy who Miranda is dating. Again, his character is a breath of fresh air because most other movies would have portrayed the "rival boyfriend" as a complete jerk and/or guilty of something else just to hammer in how bad he is. While Stu never does anything particularly wrong, you still love to hate him, purely because you're rooting for Daniel.

And finally, I love how they ended the movie on a bittersweet note. All in all, if you haven't already seen this movie, do it now. It's hilarious, emotional and a great family film for broaching the subject of divorce for kids.

The Hateful Eight (2015)

Visually stunning, but lacks in story...

[7/10 · 29 August 2016]

I've seen this film at a regular cinema, in 70mm film and in the home. While the film is visually and stylistically stunning, unfortunately I think the story does let it down. Considering Tarantino is known for making great movies and I am a big fan of his work, I was bit let down this time around, it wasn't a bad film by any means, but by Tarantino standards, this is probably his weakest film since Death Proof in my humble opinion.

Visually this film is stunning. I saw it in 70mm film and the picture quality blew me away, it was a cinema experience like no other. I could really see the benefit of 70mm's super wide aspect ratio as the film did feel almost like a stage play and enabled the audience to see characters at opposite ends of the cabin. I'm glad I saw it in 70mm, because now it's out on Blu-ray and iTunes, the home media doesn't even come close to doing the the stunning cinematography justice.

But with that said I would probably would have let that slide if the story was more exciting. With such a stunning group of actors on board, I had high hopes, but unfortunately most of the characters were not particularly likable, nor very interesting, although Jennifer Jason Leigh was very good as the villain and she made me laugh a few times and Kurt Russell and Samuel L Jackson had their moments, the rest of them I didn't find particularly interesting or likable. Yes, the film is called 'The Hateful Eight' for a good reason, but the main characters didn't have enough qualities that made me want to at least root for them.

Basically it's a three hour film set mostly in a cabin where a bounty hunter is taking a dangerous prisoner to be hanged, and on the way another bounty hunter and a guy who claims to be the new town sheriff hitch a ride in his stagecoach and shack up in a cabin with a bunch of other individuals during a blizzard. They don't trust each other and, well, being a Tarantino movie you can pretty much guess what's going to happen...

The idea had potential, it was well shot, well directed and there was a stellar cast involved, so there was a lot of promise here. But unfortunately pretty pictures and great cinematography aren't enough to make an otherwise OK film a great one. It wasn't bad by any means, but the lack of likable protagonists and the predictable plot let the film down for me, plus the fact it was three hours long didn't do it any favours, because it dragged on at times.

And unfortunately, like Avatar, they were both great visual experiences in the cinema, but once you see them on home media, the best part of the film is then lost and you're left with an OK film on digital media that simply doesn't do the visuals justice. It's such a shame.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

I'm a MAN and I LOVED it!

[8/10 · 14 July 2016]

Seriously, what the hell was all that hate about? I was disgusted by all the sexist backlash this film got before it was even released. But funnily enough it was all that controversy that made me want to see it.

Those girls were actually very funny, particularly Melissa McCarthy and Leslie Jones, and I laughed out loud at at more than a few points. Although I have to say that Kate McKinnons character got a bit annoying at times, but that's a minor gripe.

Chris Hemsworth's character was also very funny. A lot of hateful reviews seem to claim he was the only funny thing in a "man-hating movie", which is quite ironic considering the character is essentially a male version of the dumb blonde secretary stereotype next to the smart, funny, butt-kicking women. Considering he's not a comedian, he did a great job in that role and he was clearly having a great time there.

But what do I think of it compared to the original? Both versions are very good films. This remake is a great movie in its own right, but it's almost a shame that it's a Ghostbusters film, because no matter how good it is, it will always be unfavourably compared to the original, not because of that small, but very vocal, sexist minority, but because it's a widely beloved classic and part of many peoples childhoods and they will be naturally very apprehensive about a remake, male or female.

I personally would love to see more completely ORIGINAL films with funny, intelligent, butt-kicking women in it, then that would prove those sexists to be completely wrong. Because this film was pretty much guaranteed since day one to make a lot of money and being a remake I would imagine some people perceiving it as riding in on the coattails of an already successful franchise, which probably didn't do it any favours in terms of public perception, regardless of gender.

So, verdict: A very funny and enjoyable film in it's own right. Even fans of the classic could enjoy it, so don't try and turn it into a classic vs remake or a male vs female war, because they're both very good films. Go see this this film and enjoy it for what it is, a fun movie.

Avatar (2009)

Absolutely mind-blowing!

[10/10 · 18 December 2009]

Firstly, I'm not going to get into any plot details here because you really have to see it to believe it and I don't want to put any spoilers on there.

Critics so far as of today have criticised the plot for being too basic, that is absolute rubbish! The plot is no more basic than 'Aliens' (one of James Camerons earlier films, and one of my favourites) and critics have never moaned about the story being too basic. My point is: don't let those criticisms put you off because there is a large audience out there that look for really good stories and I think the reviews so far have been misleading in that aspect.

In the end, a review on a major movie magazine is just ONE persons opinion and critics are generally always looking for something to whinge about.

However, critics have praised the movie for almost every other aspect which I SINCERELY agree on. The CGI completely blew me away.

9 times out of 10 you can tell if something is CGI. The water, the jungles and the Na'vi (The blue humanoid creatures in the trailer) looked REAL, and I mean REAL. The Na'vi in particular even made Gollum from 'Lord of the Rings' look fake, it's really beyond words.

The acting I really good, Sam Worthington really stands out and I can see him becoming a big name star in a few years time.

Anyway, enough of my yapping. GO SEE IT! It's an experience I'll never forget and see it while it's still in theatres. You'll be astonished!!!

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995)

Great movie for what it is.

[7/10 · 15 July 2009]

I remember seeing this on the cinema when I was about 7 and loved it. I bought the DVD recently out of curiosity and was surprised I loved it still, why? This is a kids adventure film based on a TV show so it's obviously not meant to appeal to over 12's. Kid's films that are spin-offs of TV shows do have an unsurprising reputation for being absolutely rubbish with crap acting because in most cases it's true.

This film actually "feels like a film" rather than a few episodes of it's TV show counterpart stuck together which is most spin-off films feel like (some of them actually are).

The story is nothing special, but in some cases you need that if your head hurts from keeping up with episodes of 'Lost' for example, the acting is average at best and the dialogue is corny but there are some amusing lines (not to mention Bulk and Skull's utterly stupid but hilarious antics), the effects are what you'd expect from low-budget kids film at the time when CGI wasn't as advanced as it is today, I must give the costume designers a big hand here as they look rugged and ready for battle unlike the costumes in the TV show which are basically leotards and crash helmets with the Power Ranger motif on them.

I would recommend this movie to any kid who watches Power Rangers as it is today (I watched a couple of episodes of one of their more recent incarnations the other day and after 14 years, although the characters are different and they're set in different places, it's still the same old sh*t (this whole "Megazord" thing has gone stale years ago and it's like the makers don't really give a damn anymore).

If any kid enjoys todays incarnation of Power Rangers, then they should see this movie and they'll be worshipping it by comparison, or if you're an adult, it's better than most spin-off kids movies out there today so there might be some pleasant surprises in store if you watch it with an open mind.

Bottom (1991–1995)

10/10 If you're in the right mood.

[8/10 · 19 December 2008]

To sum it up simply, it's basically non-stop innuendo and toilet humour, now on with the details.

It often gets compared to "The Young Ones" because it's got Rik and Ade in it and it's more or less the same kind of humour except the dick and fart jokes are cruder and much more frequent.

Anyway it's about two unemployed losers who see themselves as really clever and as a result, they get themselves into all sorts of bother.

The jokes are mostly really funny, the humour is VERY crude, it's the kind of thing that teenage boys would love and the slapstick violence is hilarious and the really fake-looking special effects add to the humour. The only downfall is that the sexual innuendos are a bit too frequent and can get a bit tedious at times.

So, Would I recommend it? Yes for people in need of something crude and childishly funny.

If you thought the jokes in The Young Ones were distasteful, then you wouldn't like this and I wouldn't recommend it to your nan.

Hostel (2005)

Strong violence, weak story.

[5/10 · 24 December 2007]

I'll start with the basic plot: 3 teenage boys backpacking in Europe head to a Slovakian city to get laid, they do so, but they get butchered. That's the story more or less. If you like gory films but want a more interesting story, the "Saw" films should please you.

It's not the bloodiest film one would see if you compare it to movies like Braindead, Evil Dead and Nightmare on Elm Street, however those movies used over the top amounts of blood for comic effect, whereas Hostel has absolutely no comic tone and its VERY real looking so fans of gory make-up effects won't be disappointed.

As a scary movie, it's pretty scary and It'll have you on the edge of your seat.

Acting wise, there's nothing special here but they can act like they're genuinely scared or in pain unlike the cast of the Friday the 13th films.

Overall, The gory effects and scares don't really make up for the weak storyline.

Saw (2004)

I you need a pillow to cower behind, get one now.

[9/10 · 5 September 2006]

Two men named Adam and Lawrence wake up chained to pipes in a filthy bathroom with a corpse lying on the floor. they slowly realise that they are the latest victims of the "Jigsaw Killer", a madman who is known to not kill people but to get his victims to kill themselves in his twisted games such as finding antidotes for slow acting poisons and crawling through sharp objects towards a door before it seals shut.

Lawrence is instructed to kill Adam so his wife, daughter and his own lives will be spared but the time is ticking.

I think this film sets a new standard of horror, the camera-work is brilliant and the acting is pretty good, but the main reason is the claustrophobic setting and the throughout tension created by not knowing whats going to happen next unlike the Friday the 13th series when every death is pretty predictable.

The gritty picture gives it the feel of a horror movie, I also liked the puppet which kind of reflects some peoples fears of ventriloquists dummies and china faced dolls when they were young.

Overall, The film is a must see for all horror fans and the following quote by David Quantick on 28 days later is what I would say about Saw "I've never been so frightened by a modern film in my life".

Stand by Me (1986)

It got me bang on the nail

[9/10 · 11 December 2005]

This film made me cry when I first saw it because in the end of the movie when Gordie mentioned about friends being separated when they go to different colleges, I watched it as in an English lesson 2 months before I left school (How ironic). I also loved the film because of so many characters you can relate to, River Phoenix's acting should have been Oscar nominated at least and the art direction was perfect. The thing that really got me bang on the nail was that i had a lot of similarities to Gordie (especially his low self esteem) and The irony that River Phoenix's character died and the actor is dead for real.

In conclusion, Stand By Me is great film and all teenagers who have recently left school should watch it.