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Reviews
The Secret Gift of Christmas (2023)
Knockoff of a much better movie
This movie is a knockoff of the enchanting "A Gift Wrapped Christmas". I enjoyed the original so much, I thought I would give this one a try. Boy, was I disappointed. There was zero chemistry between the leads. The script was largely uninspired. It was like the director took the story boards from the original and turned out a two-dimensional talk fest that echoes the movie on which it is based solely by its plot elements. There were times I could hear the cue cards in the actors' delivery. In particular, the lead actress turns in a performance so wooden, that I wondered if she had recently overdosed on Botox injections. Her constant smile never got to engaging and went right to creepy. If you have not seen "A Gift Wrapped Christmas", find a copy of that to watch rather than this garbage.
Friends & Family Christmas (2023)
Bland Force Trauma
This is one of worst Hallmark movies ever. If anyone involved in this production had enthusiasm for it, it must have been the caterer, because it sure was not the actors, director, or the writer. (Note to Hallmark: during a writers' strike hire scabs to cross the picket line that have graduated from kindergarten.) I understand that Hallmark movies follow a prescribed formula, but that does not mean that the script has to wallow in the ruts and seldom come up for air. If most of the characters were portrayed any more woodenly, their noses would grow when they lie. I think I heard the director's snores behind the monotones of hackneyed dialog. If you want to feel like you have wasted six hours, watch this hour and half home movie.
Notes of Autumn (2023)
Better and More Fun than Most Hallmark Productions
"Notes of Autumn" succeeds on just about every level. There is strong chemistry between the participants in both couples. The writing is crisp, and there is a prevailing sense of whimsy that lends lightheartedness to the movie. The music is pleasant and appropriate to the theme. The acting is adequate, and it was obvious that the actors enjoyed playing their parts. For the most part, the characters are believable. The plotting is not surprising but avoids being trite. The only plot element that bothered me was that all the characters seemed able to afford impromptu air travel. The pacing is just right for the subject matter, and it never felt like the film's pace sagged.
All in all, this was a fun and entertaining movie to watch.
The Most Colorful Time of the Year (2022)
Possibly the worst movie of the season ever
If I could give this movie zero stars, I would. It was terrible in just about every aspect. The acting was at best mawkish. The writing could have been bested by just about any seven-year-old. Whoever wrote it has no idea what it is like to be colorblind. I have red-green colorblindness. I see colors. I just have difficulty distinguishing between certain colors. The only thing that was not entirely wrong in this travesty was that a company does exist that sells overpriced glasses that are supposed to help people with colorblindness. In addition, there was no chemistry at all between the leads. The premise itself constantly seemed forced and artificial. Even the idea that someone would be disenchanted with Christmas, because he or she did not see its colorfulness is disingenuous and shallow.
Dune (2021)
Beautifully Filmed but Painfully Slow
Maybe because I enjoyed the book so much, I found it vastly disappointing that this film spent two and a half hours covering only the first half of the plot. The filming was excellent. The conceptualization of the aircraft enthralling. The acting varied. Rebecca Furguson was the worst of the lot. Lady Jessica is a powerful character. Seeing her portrayed as a blubbering simp just does not do her justice. The movie is an adequate paean to the book, only slightly deviating in a few places. It is just that the whole story could have been told in three hours, and what would have to be cut from this first part would only improve its lumbering pace.
The Mistletoe Secret (2019)
Complete miss
This Hallmark movie had a lot of promise: "The Mistletoe Secret" book showed great potential as a Hallmark drama. Their previous dramatization of Richard Paul Evans's "The Mistletoe Promise" was exceptional, capturing the charm and theme of the book in a gentler retelling. It matched and, in some aspects, exceeded the book. I am a fan of Kellie Pickler, and, after reading the book, I was excited to see her portrayal of Aria.
Where did this movie fail? At every turn. The script was tired, lifeless, and hackneyed. Every performance lacked emotion, enthusiasm, and attention. It was like a bad walkthrough. Kellie Pickler did a better job of portraying an Aria-like character in her "Best Days of Your Life" music video than she did in this film. The only saving grace of this fiasco was the 20 or so seconds that she sang, which was literally music to my ears. The screenwriter butchered the theme, leaving this movie a heartless, aimless, stroll through an emotionless desert.
Christmas at Cartwright's (2014)
What Went Wrong?
Alicia Witt is one of my favorite Hallmark actresses. Add in Wallace Shawn, and I was ready for a delightful ride. Unfortunately, this movie never got out of the garage. Usually engaging, Alicia Witt seemed to struggle with this part. Wallace Shawn did not have his heart in his performance. Maybe it was the writing. Or maybe this was just not a good vehicle for Alicia Witt. I do not know that I will ever figure out what ruined this movie for me. The basic idea is ingenious and could have been a source of a lot of lighthearted fun. Instead, everything seemed forced and two-dimensional.
Phantom Thread (2017)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
This film was so bad on so many levels. First the writing. It reflected the intelligence that wrote "Run, Spot, Run". The pace was that of a wounded snail. Now to the acting, what little there was. Daniel Day Lewis is usually pretty good, but this performance is going to be one of those that he wishes he had never committed to film. "Wooden" does not do it justice. The music was disjoint, distracting, inappropriate, and just plain soporific. In all, I could not recommend this movie to insomniacs, because this is not even a good way to be bored to sleep.
Rogue One (2016)
Could have been so much better
I have seldom been so disappointed by a Star Wars movie. I guess, in part, this is due to how much Rogue One had been hyped. Visually, it was everything you might expect from a Star Wars movie. The characters were somewhat better drawn than most films in this series. Where it really let down was in the editing. In my opinion, no movie better illustrates the impact that editing has on a film. The editing here was analogous to having the perfect flowers and a beautiful vase, and putting them together blooms down. It just bogged down in long stretches of tedium in between short bursts of brilliance. I would gladly watch it again, if it were cut down to 90 minutes by a talented editor.
Castle: Driven (2014)
An improvement over last season's abysmal finale, but not up to snuff
I guess I just expected more. "Castle" has been so good for so many seasons that I have come to hold it to a higher standard. At least the writers broke away from the cliché-bound tripe that ended last season. I was hoping that they would finish up this plot line, so that we could get back to the fun stuff that has made "Castle" such an epic show. In my opinion, that did not happen. What the writers did demonstrate was just how flat this show can be when Nathan Fillion is not driving it. Don't get me wrong. I think Stana Katic did an admirable job trying to carry this episode. "Castle" needs them both, full time, to be the great show it has consistently been in the past.
Castle: For Better or Worse (2014)
Just about the worst Castle episode yet
I marked this review as containing spoilers, but it is hard to believe that anything could spoil something this rotten to begin with. First they steal a central plot element almost word for word from an old Bones episode. (Jake Hodgins's and Angela Montenegro's first wedding was called off in exactly the same way. "Stargazer in a Puddle" May 2007) Then they end it with a totally hackneyed cliffhanger. The meat in the middle of this trope sandwich was nearly as bad even with the talented Eddie McClintock and Scottie Thompson as guest stars. The plodding plot limps from one contrived wedding mishap to another, as Castle and Beckett pursue her soon-to-be ex. There is a complete absence of the intelligence and aplomb we have come to expect from their characters. Even their banter comes across as stale and forced. We can only hope that the real writers of Castle were on vacation, and a couple of fifth graders from a remedial English class actually wrote this travesty.
CSI: Miami: Last Straw (2012)
Simply the worst
The writing for CSI/Miami has never been particularly good. The show has always leaned heavily on Miami's beautiful scenery (of various sorts) to sustain its appeal. That said, many episodes have had adequate writing. This is not one of them. Scripts for this show are often manipulated to cast Horatio Caine in an exaggerated hero's light, but seldom has this been attempted in such an obvious, mechanical, and sterile manner. The plotting of the story line is considerably more hackneyed than normal. The characters are equally wooden and lifeless regardless of whether or not they are slated for autopsy. The acting efforts of both Jill Flint and Bo Derek are completely wasted, since they have been saddled with dialog and direction that must have required ipecac to regurgitate.
Being Human (2011)
Better than the BBC series
After watching a few episodes of the BBC series, I found its development unbearably slow, and its scripting and acting equally unappealing. It was in a word, boring. However, I did like the basic concept. When ScyFy decided to present a North American version, I was willing to give it a try. The acting and writing are night-and-day better than the BBC production. The stories move along at a decent pace developing the characters in a way that the BBC series never did for me. I actually feel something for their plight, where I felt no connection at all with the British characters.
I have read a lot of what I consider misleading reviews from Anglophiles denigrating the North American series and applauding the British version. This is why I felt obliged to write this review presenting an opposing opinion.
Green Zone (2010)
Better than the Hurt Locker
In most respects, Green Zone is a better movie than the Hurt Locker. As entertainment, Green Zone is fast moving and seat-riveting. The dialog and story line are believable and comprehensible. Green Zone's filming, direction, and editing all easily support the story line without unnecessary or meaningless digressions. The acting is good and the characterizations compelling. I found it difficult to sympathize with most of the characters in the Hurt Locker. In Green Zone, there are individuals on both sides with whom the viewer can empathize. Green Zone's conclusion is logical and achieves closure for its characters and theme, while the Hurt Locker just seemed to have ended, when its camera crew ran out of film.
Avatar (2009)
Truly a wonderful picture
I saw Avatar today. It was as much a breakthrough in filming technique as Star Wars was in its day. Considering the level of CGI technology demonstrated in recent movies, this represents a considerable achievement. The conception, color, rendering, and form of the plants, animals, and landscapes are consistently breathtaking. Seeing it in a movie theater is like falling into a wonderland. That alone would have made Avatar a movie well worth watching. In addition, the plot is well thought out, tightly written, well acted, and compelling. Sigourney Weaver brings an understated passion to her roll. The two central characters are engaging and believable. Only the primary villain is somewhat two-dimensional. Every other major part showed depth and compassion that made this more than just a science fiction film with beautiful special effects. Another reviewer mentioned that it brought tears to his eyes. It had the same effect on me. The violence and language make this movie unsuitable for young children, but I highly recommend it for any adult capable of suspension of disbelief long enough to be enthralled.
Expired (2007)
Simply Awful
This is one of the worst, most depressing movies I have ever seen. It probably holds the Guinness record for inspiring more suicides than any other film ever made. The plot is unrelentingly abusive and painful to watch. The heroine is so self-loathing that she misconstrues perpetual verbal abuse and violent rape as romantic courtship. Her assailant is one of the most loathsome, totally unredeemable characters ever to despoil celluloid. (The coining of the term Schadenfreude easily could have been based on his foul, repellent persona.) I appreciate understated, nuanced performances, but the portrayals in this film never rose above the level of Stephen Hawking reciting the multiplications table. The cinematography is shakier than an 8mm home movie shot by Joe Cocker. The camera jerks from one target to another like the nervous tic of a schizophrenic. If you could give this movie credit for anything, it would be for consistency. It is awful from the first scene, through its entire exposition, and down to its unsatisfying denouement.