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Stitch (2013)
Surprisingly Smart and Terrifying Horror-Thriller may Signal an Ed Furlong Comeback!
Grabbed a Stitch blu-ray off of Amazon after reading some positive reviews on horror sites. It ended up being one of those off-kilter movie discoveries that I live for.
First, let me state that I popped the blu-ray into my player with very low expectations, so that was definitely a factor. I am also forgiving of low-budget flaws if a movie otherwise kicks ass. A few such flaws do pop up in the first ten minutes - namely a couple of video-gamey FX shots. But nothing too bad. After that, the rest of the FX are great. In fact, the overall visual style is quite imaginative, like a Salvador Dali painting crossed with a Boschian nightmare.
Stitch follows the story of a married couple played by Ed Furlong (Terminator 2, American History X) and Shawna Waldron. Their daughter recently died. So their two friends, played by Shirly Brener and Laurence Mason (The Crow, Prison Break) take the grieving couple out to the desert for some kind of healing ritual. The first act is a bit slow but there is some great sound design in that ritual scene. Creepy as hell.
After the ritual, the movie finally kicks up some horror. We get our first glimpse of a demonic entity hidden in the shadows. That bit was the most effective jump-scare for me. Literally spilled my soda all over my pants!
Without giving a blow-by-blow account of the plot, things move into high gear as all of the characters get stitched and slashed by an unseen force. All the while, we learn about certain dirty secrets and betrayals between the couples. It's as if they are being punished for misdeeds, with their inner ugliness manifesting as external scars. If that wasn't enough, an epic lightning storm rains fire from the sky, trapping them in the desert house.
From the sixty-minute mark on, it's a nonstop barrage of great jump-scares and terrifying situations, backed by surreal and nightmarish imagery. Body horror and edge-of-your-seat suspense keep things tense. VFX and sound FX are top notch for a B-movie.
Then the whole thing goes in a direction I really wasn't expecting; A direction that I thought was either brilliant or insane. In fact, just to make sure I really understood what happened, I immediately re-watched the final 30 minutes. And for that I give Stitch high marks. It goes beyond horror and attempts some Matrix-y "perception of reality" stuff. You either buy into that type of thing or not. I do. So I had no problem with where the story went. In fact, I thought it was quite original. I can't say more without giving away major spoilers, so I won't.
In Summary:
CONS: - Low to mid budget - Two or three half-baked FX shots in the first act - Takes twenty to thirty minutes to get going
PROS: - Highly original with some big ideas - Incredibly surreal yet grounded in emotion (a rare feat) - Solid acting from all, especially Furlong - Visually stunning with some psychedelic VFX - Terrifying from the sixty-minute mark on!
The PROS win by a wide margin on this one.
Maybe (finally) this will be Ed Furlong's comeback vehicle. All the pieces are there!
The Walking Dead (2010)
Great pacing, atmosphere and characters
I'm a big horror fan, mainly of non-mindless and more thought-provoking films and series. I resisted The Walking Dead for a few years, but last weekend decided to start watching on Netflix. Only 6 episodes in and I love it so far. The pacing and build-up of the first few episodes were fantastic. Since this genre has been done to death (pardon the pun), the only thing that will make a 'zombie' series stand out are the production values and quality of the script. This series has them both in spades! I know that on this series characters that the audience often grow to love end up dying off and I'm OK with that. Its realistic and not doing that has made me hate other films and series. I just have to resist any spoilers, and so far it seems worth it to put in that effort for The Walking Dead. Even if its not as the creators of the series intended, I recommend binge watching the first few episodes, as some weaker, groan-inducing moments in the first couple episodes, get more than made up for as the series goes on.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
An entire generation's memories wiped out.
So I woke up today and decided to write a min-review on the Phantom Menace, almost fifteen years after I first saw it.
Why?
Because it's the film that ruined my adult life! And it took me one and a half decades to process all the decrepitude that is the TPM. Fifteen years of therapy to get over the post traumatic stress, the terrible dialog, the awful acting and a certain long-eared "character" that I can't even name without falling into some kind of horrific relapse.
I will spare you a description of the plot because there isn't one, at least not one worth talking about.
In short, TPM is the worst piece of cinematic dreck ever committed to celluloid, digital tape or to a roll of sanitary paper. Even on Ed Wood's worst day, he could have come up with something better than than this. And at least it would have starred Bela Lugosi and better acting.
This is not the Star Wars of my youth. Heck, even the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special was better than TPM.
The only thing passably interesting in this mind numbingly awful excuse for a movie was the introduction of a double-sided light saber wielded by some forgettable villain. That's it. A double-sided light saber. That's what we waited sixteen years for. After sixteen years, George Lucas' one and only interesting idea was a double-sided light saber. But try as he might, he wasn't able to wrap an actual movie around that one good idea.
Okay, I'm done writing about this movie. I'm done talking about it. I'm done thinking about it. After fifteen years, it has finally been expunged from my soul.
I never knew that writing a film review could be so therapeutic. Thank you IMDb user review section. Thank you.
Elysium (2013)
Mediocre, but watchable
I had high hopes for this film because of the director's previous film and the star power associated with it. But it ended up feeling so predictable and uninteresting in the second half that I left the viewing disappointed. The action was OK but I just didn't feel any vested interest in the characters. Jodie Foster's character was severely underused in this film that I feel she could have been played by any other actor without affecting the film. Matt Damon did a good job, as he often does, but his motivation for getting to Elysium felt a bit weak. The main standout, as others have said, was Kruger (Sharlto Copley). He disappeared into his role and was so different from his previous roles that you could forget it was an actor when watching the movie.