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Reviews
The Bastard Executioner (2015)
WAMP Waaaamp
First and foremost, you learn very quickly that Stephen Moyer greatly benefited from the distraction of the rest of the show on True Blood. The Academy shan't be calling, Stephen.
The writing is thick and seems hyperbolic for its time on plenty of occasions. Direction is pretty flat, nothing special.
Lead and Baroness roles seem like good actors at least. Supporting cast is mostly pretty good.
One of the greatest disappointments was the under-utilization of a talent like Katey Sagal (especially when time is made for, (I'm sorry?) Ed Sheeran.
It's been a long time since I've had the last moments of a finale come up and was surprised there wasn't one more episode for some epic moment.
Community (2009)
Great start - RAPID decline
Unfortunately just can't rank this deserving show higher.
The drama with the creator, Chevy Chase, etc. Really does a number in the end. Show starts great. I fell in love right away. Eventually it all just goes off the rails. The episodes go over the edge w the grand themes and it's a bit like trying to listen to a comedy track while staring at a noisy pinball machine.
For me at least, it all got very distracting. It just left me less-interested in the show and characters because every episode was like a new set of both most of the time.
Maybe it's because I only saw this streaming, never on-air, so it was just too much at once? It's very possible.
Ultimately, worth checking out for sure.
Deus (2022)
Event Horizon - sans event
Kudos for making a 90-minute run time feel like something that should have been accompanied by an intermission.
So basically, somebody watched "Event Horizon" and had too many bad friends cheer them on when they thought, "Hey, I could do that."
I'm not sure where the budget went (I'm guessing hair...?)
You do not develop any attachment to characters.
In fact, the first impression is general dislike.
This dude clearly should've had a psych eval...
That guy is all about it but has no idea what it is any more than the others.
She clearly wishes she'd just stayed on w the manager program at her local Target.
You're over it before it starts.
Stop watching and just put on "Event Horizon."
American Horror Story: Requiem 1981/1987: Part 2 (2022)
Time to cancel Ryan Murphy
Think I'm done with AHS.
Here's the easy part...
Glorification and profiting off of of a disease weaponized with ignorance by a government hopeful a "problem" would resolve itself naturally.
What makes it worse is the added element of all the seeds of the stereotypes that helped create the deadly Reagan-minded.zeitgeist which allowed Ryan Murphy to fill that bank account just a bit more.
Really that's all that needs to be said but since there's minimal character requirements...
Metaphors and visuals are cheap and unnecessary throughout.
Russell Tovey is the only good thing about this season.
Unfortunately, the entire time you're hoping he leaves for a better project or he'll make it better. He can't.
The Visit (2015)
Should be burned from the archives.
The children should have been the victims in the first 5 minutes of this thing.
Zero sympathy/empathy can be felt for the verbose, precocious sister and... aspiring rapper brother?
Kids' dialogue is terrible. They behave unnaturally and not on purpose. Ya just hate em.
Also... they're in this remote farmhouse. The brother says he's got no reception on his phone. Yet, they're Skyping with mom on... the landline?
Only good part was the actual twist itself. That's it. That moment. Turn it off then.
The dialogue is so painful it's worse than my tinnitus.
Tough to enjoy.
You should skip it.
M. should bury it.
The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022)
Poor material for such a great show.
As a huge fan, I was excited at the idea of a movie.
Underlying fears are realized however, when you are thrown into the intro (the most lackluster musical number) and you pick up quickly that this film was made not because they had such great material to work with, and more so to simply make a movie and cash in.
Skip the film, stick to the show.
The Gray Man (2022)
Dear Netflix, please stop.
The original content coming from Netflix makes no wonder their decline.
Barely interesting, bad dialogue, etc.
This film, exactly like "Thunder Force", sits you down for some real talent and leaves you waiting for it to be utilized.
Actors... fire your agents.
Last Looks (2021)
Shame on Hunnam
Disgusting to see anti-Semitic Gibson even working let alone formerly-respectable individuals deciding to work with him.
What a perfect sign of the times in America.
Henry Gamble's Birthday Party (2015)
Frustratingly Disorganized
Firstly, people referring to this as a "middle-class" boy's coming out story are the problem w the world. LOL
Let's just let that stand out for its own worth. Delusional.
The film is a buckshot of over-dramatically delivered issues crammed into 90 minutes of rich white Christian piety.
Very confusing character portrayal (the mother corrects herself to say *twice* that something "happened to" her and then proceeds to explain how SHE cheated).
The scene sets up as if a rape is about to be disclosed and leaves it very awkward to watch.
Rape is also uncomfortably brought to the surface when one of the teenage girls begins to freak out on her bf(?).
It's obviously about their first time together and she's experiencing the compounded Christian guilt and shame... and the dialogue begins to take this dark turn as she's screaming at him almost as if she's about to accuse him of forcing himself on her.
Thankfully, by the end of the film they're snuggled together in the same chair. Whew! THAT certainly got much better.
It's all pretty messy and unenjoyable, but the particularly poor handling of such major issues as suicide, rape, sexual discovery, etc. Leaves a uniquely foul taste.
Don't Look Up (2021)
Art rolling its eyes at life.
Switch "virus" with "comet" and you've simply got a replay of the Great American Stupidity that's infested the US the past several years.
Hard to watch when we essentially just witnessed this insanity in real-time.
Ted Bundy: American Boogeyman (2021)
Perfect While Vacuuming
At this point in the game, if you're not introducing new information to the topic, you're simply looking to capitalize on a famous murderer with an easy story because you just couldn't get over your personal fascination - to the detriment of the film industry.
Dialogue & direction are one long eye-roll.
Tried really hard to be creepy.
All comes off forced & fake.
Someone should have told them they're already making "American Horror Story".
Not worth the time.
A Stormy Night (2020)
Will the editor please rise?
A terrible case of trying too hard.
It's black & white. Fine.
It has more unnaturally-crafted awkward/uncomfortable moments than Borat.
The riveting Wi-Fi password writing & creepy sleep-watching scenes were reeeeal steering wheel-jerkers.
And... we get it. Alan has anxiety. WE. GET. IT.
Seems somewhat agoraphobic as well but with the insistent dialogue, one can't even gain an ounce of empathy for the character.
The only kudos I could give this "What Ever Happened to Auntie Mame" was the scene where Marcos talks Alan down from a panic attack.
The verbal queues mimicking intimate "dirty talk" WERE a smart metaphor for any sex scenes usually in one of these films.
For that, credit due!
Voyeur (2017)
How disgusting
What a glorification of a sexual predator and a coward of a journalist that befriended him.
As a documentary it's fine and nothing beyond standard. Writer gets duped by source. The end.
The real story is about years of a sexual predator who made a friend in an equally depraved human being who instead of turning him in, wanted to make a buck and failed.
The Black Dahlia (2006)
Heads up: not about black dahlia
This movie is 10% Black Dahlia and 90% "look at all this 1940's".
Meandering and tedious.
I'm sure there's good points due, but it's such a mess.
And 2 hours.... Oy. I'd say it's a slow burn but it just leaves you cold and bitter.
If you're really interested in the case, watch any 5-minute YouTube vid and you'll be up to speed.
Bob's Burgers: Dream a Little Bob of Bob (2020)
LOVE the show. Not their best.
Surprising premiere for me.
Not a lotta great one-liners and it just came off like 2 tedious storylines.
But again, just a single episode and it's not HORRIBLE or anything. Still one of the best shows ever!
"Weeda weeda weeda
A weeda weeda wang!" -Linda.
The Movies That Made Us (2019)
Unfortunately Dumbed-Up
I miss the days of an informative program that wasn't full of quirky music, half-second clips for maintaining poor attention accompanied by "boing" and "doink" noises, unnecessarily "comical" narration by what can only be described as Robin Leach through the animated looking glass, equally unnecessary visuals.
Garbage flash with literal bells & whistles and barely enough genuine info you can tolerate to focus on given the rest of the endless distractions.
PS: horrid movies to base this on. ELF? Lol.
Llamageddon (2015)
*Lowered Expectations Excellence*
Know that you're about to witness something that is to film what tori spelling is to acting.
It's purposefully terrible and does not disappoint in that aspect.
Everything is tacky.
Everyone is terrible.
It's perfect.
American Horror Stories: Game Over (2021)
Who did this
All the eps before this - fine. Fun, different, great.
THIS fever dream dumpster fire of redundant self-promotion (settle down, Ryan) was SO poorly written from the storyline to the dialogue....
The true horror was this episode's green light.
George Lopez: George Joins the Neighborhood Wha-tcha and Raises the Vigil-ante (2007)
Highly problematic
While I normally enjoy the show, the approach to the topic is extremely poor and the episode I feel should be removed from rotation.
Documentary Now!: Sandy Passage (2015)
Fantastic
If you're a Grey Gardens fan... you've gotta. Lol.
The nuances from the original footage are so well integrated and the ridiculous twists to the stories...
I wish this was one of their 2-parters.
The Circle (2020)
Ugh
How stupid and easy to entertain has humanity become?
10.0 Earthquake (2014)
A steaming pile of cinema.
This movie's got everything!
Poor CGI. Terrible writing. Red Bull. Sexual assault. Complete predictability. Over-acting. People pointing. A dog.
The only thing decent about it is Mr. Jones. But he's allowed to do whatever he wants at this point so he's forgiven.
My favorite was the discussion regarding hiding in a cave...
"What if there's a cave-in and we get trapped?!"
"C'mon, that mountain's been there hundreds of years."
Of course there's the mother whom you SEE toss the cell phone into the back of the truck, followed with "omg I lost the phone!"
Ok and maybe the hunter. Hilarious.
Get ready to turn down the lights, grab someone you dislike, and poison the popcorn. Enjoy!
Last Ferry (2019)
My tv punched me.
What 19-year-old wrote this dialogue?
I'd use the word "cliché" but it's just so cliché so I'll say this is a CLASSIC gay story of gays and their gayness being gay.
Poor writing and directing.
Non-believable (and generally intolerable) characters.
The unrealistic and forced tension and/or awkwardness is insufferable.
Oh and plenty of "oy" candy. :/:/eye roll/:/:
Tusk (2014)
I thought I knew what "ridiculous" meant.
This movie tries to take itself as a serious horror film.
Even as an American, the mocking of Canadians is not only relentless and gratuitous but really makes your head turn as it parallels the "horror" portions of the story.
I'd say it's so bad, it's good and you just HAVE to see it but I was really just waiting for dinner to finish in the oven.
Oh I also hate walruses now.
Guns Akimbo (2019)
Why?
I really wanted to see this one because I dig Radcliffe.
Unfortunately the way the movie is shot makes it utterly nauseating.
Couldn't make it past ten minutes. :-/