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Boo (2005)
8/10
Surprisingly not too bad looking back on it.
5 January 2015
Before Anthony C. Ferrante stormed his way to the spotlight with Sharknado, there was Boo. This movie was actually the first horror film I ever watched. I remember being 9 years old and watching this on Sci-Fi. Being the easily horrified 9 year old I was at the time, the movie of course scared the ever loving day lights out of me. 10 years later, at the age of 18 soon to be 19 I decided to have a look back on it upon seeing so many negative reviews of it on this site. So how does it hold up in my mind after 10 years? It's still pretty good actually. Not Oculus or The Babadook good, but Ferrante managed to do pretty well with an obviously low budget.

The plot is pretty standard horror movie stuff, a bunch of dumb **** college kids go to an abandoned and possibly haunted place on Halloween Night thinking that nothing bad will happen, but once one of their friends emerges and decomposes in front of their eyes as well as other paranormal things occurring, they start to realize the ghost of the hotel's true nature.

For a low budget movie I have to be honest the special effects were surprisingly very good. I don't know what the budget was, but it seems that the company clearly spent more of it on effects, and it shows very well. The gore effects look very gruesome and creepy, though most of the sounds used are obvious sound effects that one could find by typing in "generic *insert soundbyte* noise", it still manages to invoke a creepy feeling, even if it is generic.

The acting ranged from good to decent. Trish Coren does a good job as Jessie and her appearance kind of reminded me of Rachel McAdams. The rest of main character actors do a good job too, though I'd say the worst of the bunch is probably Jilon VanOver as Jessie's boyfriend Kevin, who only seems to have his acting setting stuck on douchey, and it does work for the scenes where his character is meant to be a total ***wipe, but during the scenes where he's trying to be frightened or sad, his deep voice just makes his character comes off as laughable, but the stand out performance, at least in my opinion, is M. Steve Felty as the main antagonist Jacob. Whenever his character is on screen you know **** is about to go down, the best way I could describe his character is it's as if someone took Robert Englund and gave him Lance Henriksen's deep gravelly voice, definitely the best performance in the whole movie.

Overall I thought this was a pretty solid horror movie, it still holds up well despite being low budget and it does manage to invoke some unsettling feelings, even with it's few flaws. Did I jump out of my seat as much as I did when I watched it at the age of 9? Not so much, but I still had a blast with it. I know Ferrante seems to have found his niche in making the Sharknado movies, but honestly, if he ever gets the time, I'd love to see him reboot this movie with a much larger budget and even attempt a theatrical release. This idea has potential, and it's certainly better then the crappy mainstream horror films we got last year like Annabelle and Oujia. If you're curious enough and if 2015 doesn't have any good horror films to offer in the later months, I strongly suggest checking this out. You won't be sorry.
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1/10
How in God's name does this have a 7.4?
5 December 2014
The fact that something this shitty wound up from the Bottom 100 list to a 7.4 is something I just can't fathom. This movie is beyond stupid as hell. I know this is a children's movie and kids movies are easy targets for awful movie reviews, but honestly, if I were a kid I'd feel insulted from this.

The movie's story is your basic kids story stuff, some big party is being arranged, all's going well until one of the Oogieloves looses the magic balloons required to make the party all wonderful (I think, honestly the plot is too stupid for me to even follow). So they have to go on a quest to recover these balloons and along the way they encounter many creepy people (Usually played by B, C or D list celebrities) who help them with getting these balloons and who usually sing extremely painful and stupid songs when the Oogiloves get said balloon.

Honestly, this movie is just plain stupid. Again, i know this is a kids movie so the plot is meant to be incoherent, but it's just terrible and generic as all hell. Also, I have to complain about the cast. Why is it that this movie is full of actors who honestly deserve better then this? Seriously, you have a cast consisting of Cary Elwes, Cloris Leachman, Chazz Palminteri, and, good god Christopher Lloyd? How far you've fallen, yet out of all the possibilities and comebacks you could give to these people, you make this trash. So yeah, you have a stupid plot, a cast consisting of actors that are slowly watching what's left of their careers waste away. Combine those two together, and you have this pile of garbage.

Truth be told I can't recommend this at all. If you're a parent looking for something to keep your toddler or preschooler occupied stay as far away from this as possible and maybe rent them some Disney movie or something. I suppose the only group of people I could recommend this to are druggies. In fact, they should have made this a stoner flick and called it "The adventures of Cary, Christopher, Cloris, Chazz, and Jamie in Drugland". That and they should have cast Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, and Lil Wayne as the Oogiloves, but at this rate I'm just fantasizing. So yeah, if you're a pothead or anything along those lines looking to watch something for kids whilst high as balls and Yo Gabba Gabba ain't doing jack for you, I suggest giving this a look, I'm sure watching this movie while high is a 100 times better then watching it while sober.
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3/10
Um...What?
2 December 2014
So I decided to give this a watch, I'd seen the remake of this and thought it was unintentionally funny in a very entertaining way. So out of curiosity I decided to give the original a watch, and all I have to say is... What in god's name is this?

I've seen people call this a horror movie, and I'd say it's very very VERY far from that. This movie seems less like a horror film or a thriller and more like a crappy exercise at trying to unsettle you. As I watched this I felt less unsettled and more weirded out, even more weirded out then when I watched the remake. The plot sounds intriguing and starts off very strongly, but as it goes on and you see more of the people on the island it just seems stupid, preachy and even a little pretentious at that.

Also something else I really, really really have to complain about is the music score. For a movie that tries so hard to be creepy and bizarre the music score doesn't fit the movie at all. It's surprisingly very upbeat in scenes where you wouldn't expect it too. Did the director listen to the score and think "Yes! This fits the movie's tone perfectly." It's a more unfitting score then the score to The Uninvited.

The best thing I could say about this movie are the performances from the two leads. Edward Woodward as the police officer Sergeant Howie is perfectly cast and commands a strong presence in every scene he's in, and Christopher Lee is clearly having a blast in the role of Lord Summerisle and does a great job at coming off as charming yet creepy as he always does.

I'd strongly suggest not going near this at all. I know this movie is an important part of horror movie history to some people, but I guess not all of history is meant to be good. This gets a 3/10.
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Marley & Me (2008)
2/10
Absolutely predictable as all hell.
2 December 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I have nothing against Dogs and I don't hate animals, but good heavens to god this movie is as generic as it gets. After finally getting around to watching it recently I knew this was going to be a sappy tear jerker that tries too hard to get you invested, but I had no clue it'd be this bad.

The actors in the movie do good, Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston do well with the parts they're given and Kathleen Turner is hilarious in the minor part she has, but this movie is just predictable as it gets, you can literally see every scene coming from a mile away. YOU KNOW the dog is going to be untrainable yet they make something funny out of it. YOU KNOW the dog is going to get the family into a bunch of trouble yet the family will forgive the dog for stupid reasons even I can't comprehend. YOU KNOW the dog is going to *I'd call this SPOILERS but in all honesty it's a movie about a dog, if you don't know what's going to happen to the animal at the end, you should probably be watching Blue's Clues* die at the end of the movie from Gettheanimaloutofthemovieitis.

I'd strongly suggest skipping out on this. It may have good performances, but a generic plot doesn't help the movie at all. Yet I don't know what's worse, the fact that this has a 7.1 at the moment, or the fact that there exists a direct to video sequel with talking animals. I'd say the former is the worse, but that's just me.
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