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John-PaulJones
Reviews
Night Hunter (2018)
It looks like not one person wanted to work on this movie
I can picture all these great actors looking for someone to sleep with to get off this picture. Do not believe the publicists and paid shills - this movie is a MESS. The technical accuracy is laughable and the editing is awful. The deux ex machina resolution just adds to the mess.
Here is just one of many examples of how they didn't bother consulting a single person on police procedures (especially when it's an important part of the plot.) They evacuate an entire police headquarters because of a mystery package that got delivered ... then the "highly trained" detective - without a bomb suit no less - stands right over top of the box, while the guy WITH the bomb suit cuts the too open with a box cutter. Guess they never thought a mad bomber would think of anything THAT simple!
Quite frankly, if the production doesn't care enough to hire one single technical adviser, why should we care enough to spend money on seeing it.
Sniper: Ultimate Kill (2017)
Written by kindergarteners for airsoft gamers
LOVE this movie! This movie employed so many high school students and newbies! Screenplay was by the third guy from the left in Binghampton University's Screenwriting 101 class; visual effects from Miss Percey's Kindergarten Class of 2017, and military tactics was by the third cousin of the (in)famous Mall Ninja. (Google it.)
This movie not only employed hundreds of amateur writers, actors and crew, it was an boon to the airsoft gun industry and cheap Chinese radio dealers in South America. Female casting was obviously done by Harvey Weinstein, as every female in the entire movie was either a pushy b**** or a large-breasted whore. It was also nice to see that the traditionally disadvantaged film workers like the blind could get a job in continuity and editing.
Certainly, last time I attended USMC scout/sniper school, rule #1 was, as soon as the lens caps come off, randomly twirl the dials on your scope. Everyone knows a sniper can't hit anything until he/she randomly twirls a few dials.
Yes, I'm being sarcastic. I can tolerate radio earpieces in upside down and highly-trained military and DEA agents with their stupid fingers in the trigger guards (that should NEVER happen) because ... well, it's a movie. But when the "BEST sniper in the United States Marine Corp" has his flashlight mounted on the TOP rail of his (fake) M4 carbine - effectively blocking his view of the sights - I turned it off.
Dumb. Boring. Insulting to an audience who wants at least SOME semblance of reality. Just to illustrate how bad this movie is, even Billy Zane was so embarrassed to do this movie that he appeared only in brief cameos. And this is Billy Zane. The case rests.
Siberia (2018)
Nothing is perfectly choreographed in real life combat
I suspect those who have rated this one star have never seen a movie more complex than "Transporter." This is not some John Wick movie ... nor is it intended to be. In fact, it is just the opposite. In this movie, just like in real life, no one is perfect.
Lucas Hill, played by Keanu Reeves, is not some kind of superhero. He is just an ordinary man, caught in extraordinary circumstances. He makes mistakes. It happens. There is obvious chemistry between Reeves and co-star, the amazing Ana Ularu. This brings back memories of how great movies were once made. Every single character in this movie is perfectly crafted, and Katya, Pavel and Ivan are particularly outstanding.
Beautifully shot, this is how movies were once made prior to the video-game/first-person shooter genre. The tension builds slowly, becomes palatable and finally explodes into a climax that neither tells you all the answers, or even explains all the questions.
In real life, bear hunting in Russia has zero to do with sportsmanship. A bear is flushed from its den by dogs and surrounded by a circle of hunters who just open fire at it at near-contact distance. In the very real depiction of this in "Siberia," Ivan's dog is accidentally shot by one of the drunken hunters, and Ivan's hands are shaking so badly he can't even load another cartridge in his rifle to do the right thing to put it out of its misery. The realness of this touching scene has not been seen in a movie for many many years.
This is only one example of how real the director has made this movie. In actual conflict, people get hurt ... even the good guys. Bullets go through wooden walls. People fumble. Things go wrong. Bravo to the filmmakers who have made a film that credits the audience with the intelligence to enjoy how gritty and real this is.
The final scene shows almost everything that happens in real-life combat: tunnel vision; loss of fine motor skills; the good guys sometimes miss and the bad guys sometimes don't. In real life combat, nothing is perfectly choreographed, and the best plans immediately fall apart the moment the bullets start flying.
In real life, sometimes a cornered bear still comes out of its den with a lot of fight, even when surrounded.
I have seen this film three times so far in the past two days, and have seen more and more details every time. I actually feel sorry for people who want to rate this one star and who probably have never seen an intense drama with some amazing actors who are not just there to act in front of a green screen, gather a pay cheque and hope for big opening weekend numbers. This movie is a keeper.
Cardinal (2017)
Too much talking; not much action.
Be prepared for a LOT of talking and not much going on in this decidedly low rent TV series.
Jaded police detective John Cardinal is increasingly tired of working for the fictional Algonquin Bay Police. Plagued by marital troubles. he is reduced to watching customers walk out of the local big box store with expensive TVs and writing down the licence plates of all the cars that follow them out the lot. When a young girl's dead body is discovered frozen, he is assigned the case and forced to work with a young, brash partner that he doesn't like.
Haven't we heard this all before? Take away all the action, add lots of incessant talking from an awkwardly written script, and you have this series with a plot like nearly every TV show and movie ever made.
A TV series that promises to "capture you from the first episode" is just plain boring. Most of the acting is okay, but they seriously needed someone there who knew something about police and police procedures. After chiding a uniformed police officer for possibly contaminating a crime scene by walking through it, they seize his boots and send him home. Thankfully, there is never any DNA evidence contaminated by hair, skin, gloves or clothing. Just boots. Yeah, right.
And then, three commercials later, he takes out his police notebook and tears out a page to hand to his partner. This is a HUGE no-no, and there are very good reasons why police NEVER use ring binders as notebooks or ever tear out pages. Stuff like that could get whole murder cases tossed.
But he moves on, and even phones his new partner late at night to tell her, "Another file caught my eye." Who says things like that in real life?
Another detective offers him some advice during the case (just before he discovers a second dead body.) "You want some advice? You have a victim. Don't go looking for more." Uh, isn't that their JOB??
But the case is about to get turned over to the fictional "OPD." (Couldn't get clearance from the OPP eh?) He meets his estranged wife and his first line to her is the endearing, "You know what I need. Tea. From a styrofoam cup." If you think that writing is bad, it is the highlight of the episode.
Sorry, but this series seems boring and plagued with technical mistakes and inaccuracies you could drive an Algonquin Bay snowplow through. The promo photo for the series depicts the hero police detective holding a gun in some kind of goofy grip and with his finger INSIDE THE TRIGGER GUARD, so I am not surprised that it looks like the props seem to be handled by the three stooges. Why they would use that example of poor research as their lead photo is totally beyond me. If I was that actor, I would get them to pull the photo down and insist the production either hires ONE person who knows what the hell they are doing, or at least spends five seconds googling how a real police officer holds his gun.
Here in California, a photo like that would be just plain embarrassing.
This is decidedly low rent. This is also the same production who screwed up a scene and nearly got an actor killed with a blank in 2016. One more inch closer and the shot would have been fatal, making this series famous for getting someone killed because they tried to save a few dollars on hiring proper crews. Shameful. No one should ever be hurt or killed for the sake of a movie or TV series, especially one as low rent as this one.
Knock 'em Dead (2014)
You will never get this time back
This movie was so bad, I was angry that I wasted money to see it on pay per view and, worse yet, that I wasted time I will never get back again. Director "Disco" Dave DeCoteau apparently started working in craft service and as a dj at wrap parties. He is now known for stupid low- budget schlock and hack movies, but after this mess, he should seriously think about going back to craft service.
After all the hack movies he has directed, I cannot believe he would ever let this be released with sound worse than most web videos done by some nobody in their mother's basement. Maybe he feels this adds to the "camp" of the movie, but it is just BAD.
Speaking of bad, Rae Dawn Chong was brilliant as an actor in this film. Lest you think I am kidding, trust me ... she is an acting gem amongst all the other actors. When Rae Dawn Chong is the best actor by far in your film, it is seriously time to change careers.
Glancing through the credits to see some of the names responsible for this mess, I see most of them have chosen not to be listed on IMDb for this film. Smart.