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Reviews
Dispatch (2016)
Awful, even for a lifetime movie.
I love bad lifetime movies, but man this movie was just awful, and not in an it's so bad, it's good way. The main character is beyond irritating and totally unlikable. She's a terrible cop who gets injured in the line of duty, and then becomes a terrible 911 operator who ignores a kid calling for help, which results in him being murdered. The rest of the movie is spent feeling sorry for herself, drinking, impersonating a cop, breaking into people's houses, and waving her gun at people until she somehow solves the crime. And at the end is rewarded as a hero despite basically spending the entire movie being incompetent and committing felonies. Don't watch this movie, do something less painful, like eating glass.
The Culling (2015)
What did I just watch??
You know, I can forgive the sub-par acting, I can forgive cheesy spacial effects, I can forgive B-movie clichés, and I can forgive some plot holes, but I can't forgive this movie. There weren't just plot holes, the entire plot was a hole, a black hole. Nothing made sense. A group of 20 somethings find a little girl and decide to bring her back to her house, but when they get there everything goes wrong. And that's when the movie falls apart. It's like the directors wanted to make 5 different movies and just crammed them all into one. The evil little girl disappears half way through the movie and we don't see her again until the last scene, the parents seem more like serial killers, the father is raping girls and making evil demon children with them. Literally nothing in this movie is explained or makes any sense. Skip this piece of garbage and do something more productive, like watching paint dry, or giving yourself a lobotomy.
Deadly Daycare (2014)
Baaaaadddddd
Let me start by saying that I love terrible lifetime movies, but I couldn't get behind this one. The mother is so stupid, and her reactions to things were completely disproportionate to the situation. She practically has a heart attack when she hears a kid crying but her reaction to giant bruises on her kids arm is like 'oh gee, where'd you get those?'. And she doesn't seem nearly bothered enough by all the I insane and super creepy things the teacher says. If I even had the slightest suspicion that my kid was being abused, they'd be out of that daycare in a second. There are lots of great terrible lifetime movies, but this isn't one of them.
The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (1992)
Boring
I don't know how this movie has such good reviews. I found this movie to be really boring, and the characters really stupid. Maybe I'm just a suspicious person, but if some random person showed up at my house looking to be my nanny, I'd be a little creeped out, and I certainly would ask more than one question in the interview. Not to mention all the strange things that suddenly start happening after she shows up. Not to mention, if I was a little girl and I saw my nanny dragging a little boy around by the arm and swearing at him, I'd be scared, and I'd certainly two my parents. Beyond all that, I just found the pace to be really slow with not many thrills.