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michaeladrion
Reviews
Storage Wars Canada (2013)
The Ursula Show
I'm 6 months into a 2 week quarantine, so I'm basically scraping the bottom of the barrel. At this point I'm just putting on what ever can play innocuously in the background while I play mobile games, and Storage Wars Canada fits the profile. Its passivity is really the only thing that works about the show. Many of the characters are too smarmy to be taken seriously. All the units, even when peppered, are underwhelming, and why do they insist on playing the clip of a hand saw cutting the locks off delinquent units; wouldn't the front desk have a master key to simply open the locks? It's a testament to the aggressive fakeness of the show.
SWC plots each episode around Urusla. She's the pretty neophyte underdog looking for valuable lockers and respect from her veteran peers. Her presence affects nearly all the other betters aside from father son team, Paul and Bogart. These two are acting in their own backdoor pilot and it couldn't be more obvious.
Roy negs Ursula because he hits on women like a middle schooler who learned about girls from a close up magician at a bar mitzvah. And he delivers his super cheesy quips with the false confidence of a kung fu masters assistant.
Cindy and Rick are a married couple who through the first dozen episodes have generated no net profit. Cindy spends all her time bullying Urusla for being pretty and upbidding-50 stinkin bux at a time-the other cast members instead of buying inventory. Even Rick, in his own feeble way, tries to refocus his wife's efforts to no avail.
This show isn't for everyone. I'm not sure its really for anyone. I'm just watching it because I'm avoiding story-boarding my own mediocre video project.
Instant Star (2004)
Low key expose on predatory hollywood proclivities
I remember watching a few eps of this show back in '07 and liking it due to its similar production values to Degrassi TNG -- I'm a huge TNG mark! Their similar look is due to the shows sharing producer Linda Schuyler. Although these shows share a similar aesthetic, they differ in mores. Degrassi's purpose was to speak on the human condition as it relates to being a developing teen in an ever changing world with a theme of the week structure including but not limited to: abuse, sexuality, bullying, and peer pressure.
However, Instant Star's focus is narrowed down to an inversion of the Andy Warhol quote, which reads "In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." In the case of Instant Star, "In our future, one person will be famous in 15 minutes." After that one person, in this case, 15year old Jude Harrison -- a cute mash up of the Beetles classic Hey Jude and Beetles rhythm guitarist George Harrison -- spends 4 seasons being exploited, dropped from her label, kidnapped, colluded against, kidnapped again, shamed, resigned to her label, extorted, dropped again, and embezzled by a relative. Most of which happened before senior prom. At the core of the show, like all TV, is a love story. During it's run, Instant Star had more instant love triangles than instant hits. By season 2 Jude was in 2 at once, which both involved her producer Tommy Q. Tommy was in a silly late 90's boy band "Boyz Attack", but has moved on as a serious producer in charge of getting the best art out of Jude. Tommy takes a very very hands on approach with Jude, and although he does not make the first move he instigates a series long intimate relationship with Jude. Jude of 15. Tommy Q of 23(ish). The show makes it a point to have an episode per season that revolves around her birthday. The countdown to Jude being legal tender is a crucial plot point. I enjoyed the heart of the show. Everyone knows their art and are written and portrayed with depth and dimension. However, while watching the show again, after the #meetoo movement, I was made inherently aware of the process and nature of Tommy as predatory industry groomer. In the beginning, Tommy was a good producer for Jude, until later when it became apparent that she was too codependent upon him, and as a result failed considerably when it came time to self produce her 3rd album without him guiding or subverting her choices. I mean by your third album you should be able to figure out, on your own, that kettle drum doesn't belong on every song on your project. Unless you're doing an album of Beethoven covers limit the use of kettle drum to one song. Looking at the show now gives the viewer edification on how we have so many #metoo testimonies and how it may no longer take as much time to get famous, but how the cost is much higher.
Detention (2011)
Not bad
I checked this film out on my Crackle app initially because, Dane Cook.The movie is directed by J. KAHN who did a B.Spears video I saw once and another film I'm sure I also saw ( Charlies Angles?).He also appeared on an ep of MTV cribs, and although his living quarters are meager,his film making acumen is anything but. It's almost impossible to tell you what the film is about without sounding like a mental patient. Though I'll say it's less about a narrative and more about a bouquet of familiar yet amusing cinematic tropes dressed up as a comedy horror thriller. The problem with Detention carrying the weight of this genre is that everyone in the film, regardless of circumstance, is having too much fun. It's high on chuckles and low on tension. No one seems to be in a situation they can't sass their way out of with a Bart Simpson style barb. As denoted by the "slasher films" disappointingly low kill count. This movie plays out like a lucid nightmare the dreamer floats along with because they'll wake up soon for brunch and all you can drink mimosas. DETENTION is a good film to watch during a co-ed horror film sleepover. Get busy when this comes on,trust me you won't miss anything except a few forced Sting references.